| TO TOUCH OR NOT TO TOUCH
Posted: 10/18/2006 11:16:32 AM | WOW!!. there is so much hatred. id be more worried about tht than my ocd. in fact im quite scared tht there r so many nasty minded ppl about. its so negative and unnecessary. why cant ppl be nicer to each other and about each others weaknesses.
u ppl who have said nasty things really ought to be in therapy urselves. | |
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| TO TOUCH OR NOT TO TOUCH
Posted: 10/18/2006 11:41:51 AM | | Ha! As I stated on my profile, 'yes that is MY towel on the bathroom floor'. Wonder what kind of response THAT would get?? I have a feeling he'd have a contract out on me after the first shower.... | |
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| TO TOUCH OR NOT TO TOUCH
Posted: 10/18/2006 1:05:10 PM | dayum, a little over the top I'd say, a little scarey...oh and I guess I'll never stop at your house for a glass of milk G~ 
msg 52 ...wow you dont think the way he spoke to her was even a little out of line? | |
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| TO TOUCH OR NOT TO TOUCH
Posted: 10/18/2006 1:15:07 PM | He sounds obsessive and hard work!!
Find a guy who thinks more of you than his ruddy towels.
May they live long and happily together!! | |
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| TO TOUCH OR NOT TO TOUCH
Posted: 10/18/2006 1:29:54 PM | | WOWZA!! This guy definately needs to get some medication for OCD because he has lost it now!! If he's going to get this defensive over something so small do you really want to stay with him?? He sounds like a quick to temper guy who needs to have a mental health professional to talk with in order to get his situation under control. | |
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| TO TOUCH OR NOT TO TOUCH
Posted: 10/18/2006 4:43:42 PM | Ey K, should you ever visit, I'll gladly pour you a glass of milk.
I don't think the man was being abusive. He was being rather blunt because he has grown tired of asking the OP to show some consideration with this one little detail.
Can't recall how many women I've heard complain about a man leaving a stupid little toilet seat up!
Guess ALL of you women have OCD! | |
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| TO TOUCH OR NOT TO TOUCH
Posted: 10/18/2006 4:53:17 PM | | It sounds like he has that disease, not sure of tha correct name but he's fearful of germs? I hope you're not having sex w/ him Lord know what "germ" or other things you may be rubbing off on him......I for one would'nt put up w/ his nonsence..... | |
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| Run, don't walk
Posted: 10/18/2006 9:46:32 PM | First off, this dude has issues that would need to be resolved and you should not be around for the fallout. While I don't know him personally, this may be the tip of the iceburg. The usage of towels and whether they "touch" or if you use his towel is a very small thing in the greater scheme of things.
Second, why are you with this guy after a year and a half and not even knowing if he's the one? Simple, you are too intimate with him physically. Break away from this one, before it really gets ugly. I'd say the same thing if you were my sister, but possibly in stronger language. You need to get out of this relationship ASAP. | |
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| TO TOUCH OR NOT TO TOUCH
Posted: 10/19/2006 12:29:08 AM | the story may look different if he is some now days version of Howard Hughes..Rich, handsome, sexy..and rich
Now tell me-how do you run away from THAT guy, just because of some towell..? huh ???
see the dillema now from a wider angle?
Gotcha! It's easy to run from the John Dow..but not in the Rich Man's world | |
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FunFab
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Joined: 3/23/2006
Msg: 60 | |
| TO TOUCH OR NOT TO TOUCH
Posted: 10/19/2006 2:50:52 AM | | Yes,OCD is a disease and whether or not you choose to be in a relationship and deal with his disease is your choice...but from what I know..anger issues are not part of the disease...that is altogether a different issue,which needs to be dealt with...Good luck! | |
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| TO TOUCH OR NOT TO TOUCH
Posted: 10/19/2006 5:11:34 AM | thanks G~
I don't think the guy should be tarred and feathered......reading his reply to the OP, I just thought it came across as a little rude. Everyone has their quirks...leave the toilet seat up and you get 50 lashes!!! (ha, kidding, I have 3 boys...toilet seat is ALWAYS up!) | |
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| TO TOUCH OR NOT TO TOUCH
Posted: 10/19/2006 5:27:20 AM | It's not even about the towels. If the guy has a towel fetish, that's his business. Although if a touching towel has him ready to walk into work with an AK, how the hell does he manage to step outside his door? Sounds like Monk.
Anyway, it's not the damn towels. It's the way he talks to her.
Yes, if I request or say not to do something regarding me, I expect that result to occur. No more no less..
This is not how a bf talks to a gf. This is how a person talks to a 4 year old. And regardless what you asskissers say, placing a towel next to another one does not constitute 'acting like a 4 year old'.
I've explained this to you, and I've instructed you not to do it. I only speak one language.
Controlling, and condescending.
Can you not comprehend the words that come out of my mouth?!
calling her stupid, and being condescending again.
If the OP has a shred of self respect, she will give him the apology he needs to sleep at night, then tell him good-bye. | |
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| TO TOUCH OR NOT TO TOUCH
Posted: 10/19/2006 5:29:06 AM | | In reading the excerpt of your conversation, the first thing that came to mind was run as fast as you can in the other direction and be very grateful you saw this side of him before your relationship became serious. Having been in an abusive marriage for 17 (been divorced for 9 years now), I learned to recognize warning signs and that is a big red flag. | |
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| TO TOUCH OR NOT TO TOUCH
Posted: 10/19/2006 6:00:49 AM | | He may have stroked out if you had put on one of his shirts after your shower, lol. The point is he doesn't care how bad he's made you feel about this and that's enough to not look back. | |
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| TO TOUCH OR NOT TO TOUCH
Posted: 10/19/2006 6:24:40 AM | Ok- The main point here is not that you touched his towel or so forth but the way in which he addressed the issue after the fact.
I was reading what he wrote to you and I had to read it over again to believe what he was saying.
"you have acted a complete %#&@$"
"I only speak one language. Can you not comprehend the words that come out of my mouth?! "
"Further, your response is ridiculous."
"if I request or say not to do something regarding me, I expect that result to occur"
I would not accept anyone belittling me or disrespecting me as a person.....but notice how he did it in an e-mail!
As soon as someone did that to me-- See YA! | |
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| TO TOUCH OR NOT TO TOUCH
Posted: 10/19/2006 6:26:10 AM | | Ok he is sensitive about towel touching. What else will he be sensitive about? how his clothes is put in the drawer. If it touches your clothes in the closet the relationship takes a bad turn? If you have touched each other intimately what difference does towel touching make? I don't get that at all. | |
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| TO TOUCH OR NOT TO TOUCH
Posted: 10/19/2006 6:31:49 AM | My two cents: I'm not a psychologist, so I can't say whether his obsession with towel hygiene is just an irritating habit or a full-blown neurosis, but the tone of his e-mail (presuming the wording is accurate) definitely displays a lack of respect -- and I have the feeling that's ingrained in him. If I received such an e-mail, I'd think "I deserve better" and start looking elsewhere.
Thanks for your time.
Neil | |
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| TO TOUCH OR NOT TO TOUCH
Posted: 10/19/2006 6:35:44 AM | OMG - I would ask him if he speaks to his mother that way! He INSTRUCTED you! What is he your teacher. The man defintely has issues and living with him would me a rollercoaster through hell with lots of stops.
Why did he email you and not talk to you in person about this. Sounds like a cowardly way of handling a problem.
RUN FOREST RUN | |
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| TO TOUCH OR NOT TO TOUCH
Posted: 10/19/2006 6:56:40 AM | Well, if you want this relationship to work, I would say, stop arguing and don't let your towel touch his.
Arguing isn't helping - just do as he asks | |
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| TO TOUCH OR NOT TO TOUCH
Posted: 10/19/2006 7:12:12 AM | Since when did this man become your Master? Because that's what he's acting like.
At what point did it become allright for him to call you names?
At what point did it become allright for him to order you around like he owns you?
At what point did it become allright for him to speak with you in a disrespectful manner?
If this was a new relationship, I would recommend running as fast as possible. I'm still itching to recommend it - HOWEVER - if you have an emotional investment, you may wish to insist he seeks counseling.
You do NOT want to involve yourself with someone who is a control freak. Unless of course, you want to spend your life walking on eggshells, never knowing what the next little thing will be that happens to set him off.
You are NOT a punching bag.
The best indicator of future behavior is past behavior. This is now past behavior.
You have been warned.
Wendy | |
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| TO TOUCH OR NOT TO TOUCH
Posted: 10/19/2006 7:41:56 AM | you guys go on and on about his anger issues but we don't know what she wrote to him. maybe she was tormenting him to anger. he even says she heightening the situation with her comments.
maybe she left streaker on her towel and it grossed him out.
i can be intamate with someone but can't eat off the food that they have bitten off of. even with my daughter.
if she doesn't respect this for him what else won't she?
other guys, throwing his stuff out, rearranging his furniture.
if you can't respect the wishes of the person you're with then you don't care about them. | |
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Sea_6
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Joined: 8/10/2006
Msg: 73 | |
| TO TOUCH OR NOT TO TOUCH
Posted: 10/19/2006 9:31:36 PM | This is a little funny quirk he has, but although it is not a common thing, he has explained to you that this is important for him... probably not the first time he ever he brought this up during this 1.5 year. How come so surprised ? Was it ever a problem for you in the past, this towel thing?
He probably lost his patience by now (and was having a particular bad day maybe). But one question is, does he always react this forcefully over other things? Or is it an exception? Did you let this towel thing happen a few times ?
It can be that it's just that the two of you have disconnected and this is what it has come to: you not respecting his need, and him loosing patience over your casualness about it.
People have certain preferences sometimes, i know i do. I don't wash the dishes with the same sponge that I clean the counter with ...
Since you know that he has this obsession and it was an honest mistake on your part, you probably should have offered an apology. If you debate it, it's because you don't want to accept this issue he has. Unless you are prepared to respect that, it seems he is probably not the right guy for you. | |
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kame
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Joined: 4/7/2006
Msg: 74 | |
| TO TOUCH OR NOT TO TOUCH
Posted: 10/19/2006 9:56:08 PM | Wow...what a jerk.This guy has some serious problems,My advice to you would be to drop his butt,first time a guy talk's to me like that would be the last he see's of me.
Im surprised your still seeing him. | |
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