| TO TOUCH OR NOT TO TOUCH
Posted: 5/11/2007 9:22:46 AM | | He is Obsessive Compulsive, with a little bit of abusive thrown in. It isn't about the towel or you, it is about maintining order in his life and phobias. He needs treatment for this. | |
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| TO TOUCH OR NOT TO TOUCH
Posted: 5/11/2007 9:26:54 AM | He seems like a total A$$!
Controlling, abusive and belittling. He shouldnt speak to you that way, and you should regonize these signs early, and get the hell out before he can really hurt you. Whether physically or emotionally. | |
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| TO TOUCH OR NOT TO TOUCH
Posted: 5/11/2007 10:18:52 AM | jesus!! its a towel, a freaking towel!!!! what the hell....????
if you do something insane you expect an insane reaction, here you have done something perfectly normal-hell not even considered something to be thought about and he goes nuts?
Drop him like a hot potato, he's clearly mentally unstable, absolutely fruit and nuts | |
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| TO TOUCH OR NOT TO TOUCH
Posted: 5/11/2007 10:34:12 AM | | Just remember that this is only the beginning if you choose to stay with this guy. If he's upset about "towels" now what is it going to escalate to in the future? Clearly, there is a lot going on here and it's an indicator that needs to be heeded. You have to look at the deeper issue here and realize that it has nothing to do with the towel--it's only the topic. I wonder what the real issue is underlying this ? Personally, I wouldn't want to stick around to find out. This type of behavior only gets worse unless he has enough insight to recognize what is going on with him ,but I suspect that he doesn't have a clue. It clearly has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him and to continue on this path will only lead you to doubt yourself, and eventually it will erode your self esteem. Also, this man could potentially turn out to be an abuser--be extremely careful. My advice: RUN and don't look back ! | |
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| TO TOUCH OR NOT TO TOUCH
Posted: 5/11/2007 11:00:16 AM | | Like many others here, i think the real red flag is the abusive way he 'told' you to not do it again. But,.. he may not even understand his own condition, which does on the surface seem to be OCD. Maybe if you really care for him, you may be able to educate him on his own problems or at least let him understand that theres help out there, but maybe he just was really angry with your refusal to see that its a problem for him, even if its no big deal to you. I have a phobia.. it does mean that a partner would have to be at least sympathetic to it,,if they werent.. and acted like polar Expression, who 'messed with the stuff on the shelves' Oh yes, that was mature wasnt it, just taunt your partner with their phobia or disorder..Tut!.... then i would know that that person was not for me. Talking calmly to him is the only way to get to the bottom of this.. you may never 'cure ' this,.. and you may need to adapt to his illogical fears,.. if you want to,.. but he may not be willing to see that this is a disorder or issue, if he wont see that,.. then its time to leave,.. after all that.. i would still let him know that although you understand his outburst, it must happen agin, being fearful is one thing,.. being abusive is another, if its just this one issue, just keep your towel separate from his,.. but if he speaks to you like this about other things in different settings, then he may be abusive too. Thats a separate thing,.. and in that caes definately leave. X | |
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| TO TOUCH OR NOT TO TOUCH
Posted: 5/11/2007 12:22:07 PM | Ok, so the towel thing irks him. This COULD be worked out with someone who could communicate with you in an adult manner. I do not know what your side of the conversation, but the following sounds like a not-so-good-parent scolding a misbehaved child.
Personally, I see nothing wrong with hanging a towel next to his, since the two of you are possibly fluid bound already. I see nothing else wrong with trying to fulfill his request, but the way he SEEMS to be talking to you, is in my eyes wrong. Again, I know that I am seeing only a small part of the conversation exchange.
Also, I don't think I'd even THINK of touching/moving/breathing on his toothbrush if I was you.
HERE’S AN EXCERPT OF OUR CONVERSATION:
“The very first time that this occurred, I explained it to you, and you said that it would not happen again--it has and you have acted a complete %#&@$! regarding the situation every time. Yes, if I request or say not to do something regarding me, I expect that result to occur. No more no less..as trival as it may seem to you. You messed up--again, and you continue to heighten the situation with your comments. You continue to make excuses. Placing your towel (or anyone's towel) on my towel is disgusting! I've explained this to you, and I've instructed you not to do it. I only speak one language. Can you not comprehend the words that come out of my mouth?! It's simple. Don't do it. Again, this is at least the third time! How many times must I request it, before you adhere to my request? Further, your response is ridiculous. Just because it's not important to you doesn't mean that it's not important to me. “
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| TO TOUCH OR NOT TO TOUCH
Posted: 5/11/2007 12:50:51 PM | | When I read the post the first thing I was gonna say was what message # 2 said..lol | |
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Hayse
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Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 159 | |
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| TO TOUCH OR NOT TO TOUCH
Posted: 5/11/2007 12:57:16 PM | Hello,
To say this, he needs to be a bachelor for the rest of his life. If it was me, I will move on and erase him from my life. He sounded so crazy and scary . So I guess you cant hold hands if that considered unclean too. Plus demanding the apology from you too . Sounds too controlling toodispute: . This guy has problems. Ewwwwwwwww to him. Start fishing again.  | |
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| TO TOUCH OR NOT TO TOUCH
Posted: 5/11/2007 1:12:39 PM | | was thinking the same thing as snuggler when i read your post.. sleeping with the enemy. i love it when a woman,s towel touches mine. wish one was touching mine now. | |
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| TO TOUCH OR NOT TO TOUCH
Posted: 5/11/2007 1:36:38 PM | see...if that was me....I would go have a shower in his house every day and TOUCH every towel he owns ....spit on his toothbrush and move any other thing that sets him off....but that is just me
also get keys to his place and go there when he is not there and move things from their proper place to other places ... then get some pop corn invite a few friends over and watch! | |
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jo xx
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Joined: 4/20/2007
Msg: 164 | |
| TO TOUCH OR NOT TO TOUCH
Posted: 5/11/2007 1:50:53 PM | | OMG!!! weird bloke! get rid-he needs help! in my opinion hes gone way over the top!! life's too short to waste time on this type of person. | |
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| TO TOUCH OR NOT TO TOUCH
Posted: 5/11/2007 2:04:01 PM | hmmm how hygenic is it to use the same towel again? most people i know that are that uptight never reuse a towel. myself on the other hand if you were clean when you dryed off use it again, unless its damp then get a new one. deal with his issues or dump him.
davey | |
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| TO TOUCH OR NOT TO TOUCH
Posted: 5/11/2007 2:07:37 PM | HELL GIRL,I'D LET YOU USE MY TOWEL,SOAP, RUBBER DUCK -WHATEVER YOU WANTED TOO... | |
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| TO TOUCH OR NOT TO TOUCH
Posted: 5/11/2007 2:14:04 PM | | This has nothing to do with OCD or even the towels touching for that matter. And, it cannot be worked out!!! This guy is using an event to make you feel guilty and to push you into submission. He is using a benign event to help him reach his goal of becoming powerful over you. It is an old gov't tactic (global warming = powerful gov't). Don't argue with him. Just leave. | |
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a1na2
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Joined: 10/3/2006
Msg: 168 | |
| TO TOUCH OR NOT TO TOUCH
Posted: 5/11/2007 2:34:13 PM | He's a whack job : ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssee ya !!!!!!!!
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| TO TOUCH OR NOT TO TOUCH
Posted: 5/11/2007 2:44:26 PM | I don't know if he is OCD, as many have said. I suspect he is a germaphobe, with some control freak elements.
Germaphobia can be as simple as don't allow my towels to touch your towels or don't touch my toothbrush, to maintain a distance of 5 feet from me at all times.
The germaphobes I know (and there are many) seem to turn their germaphobia on as a way of creating emotional distance from others.
Emotional intimacy (and I refer to it in the generic sense which includes relationships between lovers, friends, parent-child, etc.) makes you vulnerable. It opens you to the possibility of being hurt. If you put up barriers, you then protect yourself from that possible hurt.
It is usually a sign of someone who is deeply wounded and afraid. Very sad, actually.
This statement is the reason I hope you are no longer with him.
You messed up--again
Since you created this thread in October 2006, how about an update, zima?
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| TO TOUCH OR NOT TO TOUCH
Posted: 5/11/2007 3:02:53 PM | totally with 'the snuggler' on this one!
can you swim? yeh? then get the hell outta there!!! fast and now. what an a.hole!!!
swim, girl, swim!!! | |
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| TO TOUCH OR NOT TO TOUCH
Posted: 5/11/2007 9:36:05 PM | Next time he should maybe break the prozac in half.
Seriously, he is pretty fcuked up.
Then again, don't get me started on women and their "good towels" I went to my ex-brother inlaw, I had a shower and and for some reason unknown to me I actually used one of the nice towels
YOU DIDNT USE ONE OF THE GOOD TOWELS DID YOU????? my sister in law howled.
Um yeah???
NO YOU DONT USE THE GOOD TOWELS!!!
Why are the towels there?? I asked???
BECAUSE THEY ARE THE GOOD TOWELS (her voice was raised)
Well if you are not supposed to use them, why not just hang a picture of some towels there.
So it goes both ways. | |
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| TO TOUCH OR NOT TO TOUCH
Posted: 5/12/2007 4:38:43 AM | Hello princess 3,
You are so funny. I cracked up laughing hard . MMMMM going to invite me over for the popcorn. MMMMMM making popcorn smell in his place. Doesnt he knows that he is living in this unhealthy environment? The air is not clean, smog out there. What in the world is he thinking? I am sure he is not kissing ladies too. Ok party time. Anybody wants to join Princess 3 for the popcorn fight party  . Ya-hooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Thanks for the sense of humor. Still laughing.................  | |
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| TO TOUCH OR NOT TO TOUCH
Posted: 5/12/2007 5:02:04 AM | | Being attracted to someone like that will lead to more and more unhappiness, but if unhappiness is your thing then ENJOY! I had a friend who always carried her own towel -- it was like friend to her... Towels seem to be one of those things people can really focus their compulsive attention on. (Unlike global warming and peace on Earth.) | |
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acgoat
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Joined: 8/8/2005
Msg: 174 | |
| TO TOUCH OR NOT TO TOUCH
Posted: 5/12/2007 5:22:45 AM | Op
Maybe he is worried about getting [ GIRL CUTTIES ]
Like he didnt catch them when sleeping together | |
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| TO TOUCH OR NOT TO TOUCH
Posted: 5/12/2007 5:30:15 AM | | You are being insensitive to the real issue here which is why you would continue to involve yourself in this matter in the first place. It's ok to share an account of an incident you encountered with a weirdo, but to actually ask advice about handling it shows a lack of maturity and principles on your part. This man has fetishes that are best handled by a professional psychologist or just leave him alone with his towels. I certainly would never again be a guest in his home. | |
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