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| If you had no STD's,Would you consider dating someone who did?
Posted: 10/18/2006 11:02:07 AM | I'm with you on this one...if some woman comes to me and say her stuffs infected...um...I'm gonna pass.
Now if I'm with someone and they discover later (not hide it till later) when you can't tell who's at fault, then it's fair to be supportive.
what is the difference between the two?? Whether she has it before you or during dating you? I dont see the logic? You may as well dump her althogether.Seems to me you judged when she already had it.
I had a gf.. just out of a divorce to a man she was with forever. Then dated another divorcee who is the same. However he discovered his wife cheated on him which prompted the divorce and got tested. Yes he was affected. Did my gf leave him? Hell no! She loves him. She's not judging him.
So dont look at the disease.. look at the person. | |
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| If you had no STD's,Would you consider dating someone who did?
Posted: 10/18/2006 11:06:10 AM | dunno i dont think i could...hmmmmm!! is it curable???
if its curable then maybe when it had gone but if not and their was a risk that i could catch it then i dont think id wanna be in that situation....where your health would be at risk... | |
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| If you had no STD's,Would you consider dating someone who did?
Posted: 10/18/2006 2:49:12 PM | on the whole HPV thing.......the vaccine protects against 4 types of hpv.,,,but only women like age 12 to i believe 30 are receiving it..and its expensive..
the majority of women now in their 40's w/ cervical cancer was actually caused by the hpv virus they prob got back 20 yrs ago---
theres no way to determine in a test manner if a man has hpv...but for us girlys theres the hpv/dna test done during a pap smear---
yes ur body can *repair* itself...but it depends on the level of risk and type u have.....and if uve gone unoticed about havin it--then even w/ protection-----like condoms cannot fully guard ur partner...
--its actual genital body contact--and also fluids.... point being ..7 out of 10 people will go their whole lives and eventually contract the virus...and never know it!
-=ull never really know if ure going to spend the rest of ur life w/ someone---regardless of how much u love them etc....because we dont know the future...
~~i say just go get checked..then research ur ass's off--and then determin whats the best thing for urself...
---sorry so long--hope some of this helps tho.................ladies go get ur paps done !!!
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| If you had no STD's,Would you consider dating someone who did?
Posted: 10/18/2006 2:49:23 PM | on the whole HPV thing.......the vaccine protects against 4 types of hpv.,,,but only women like age 12 to i believe 30 are receiving it..and its expensive..
the majority of women now in their 40's w/ cervical cancer was actually caused by the hpv virus they prob got back 20 yrs ago---
theres no way to determine in a test manner if a man has hpv...but for us girlys theres the hpv/dna test done during a pap smear---
yes ur body can *repair* itself...but it depends on the level of risk and type u have.....and if uve gone unoticed about havin it--then even w/ protection-----like condoms cannot fully guard ur partner...
--its actual genital body contact--and also fluids.... point being ..7 out of 10 people will go their whole lives and eventually contract the virus...and never know it!
-=ull never really know if ure going to spend the rest of ur life w/ someone---regardless of how much u love them etc....because we dont know the future...
~~i say just go get checked..then research ur ass's off--and then determin whats the best thing for urself...
---sorry so long--hope some of this helps tho.................ladies go get ur paps done !!!
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| If you had no STD's,Would you consider dating someone who did?
Posted: 10/18/2006 5:15:04 PM | I agree with supraman...
It would entirely depend upon what's, when's and such. As in what kind, when I was told about it, and the person. Someone who has end stage AIDS, not so sure if I'd begin dating them, if it was someone I had fallen in love with overtime, who knows. It's hard to imagine every possible scenario. Being forthcoming, open and honest is a major factor in my decisioni.
I am a nurse and I have been vaccinated against Hep B. I therefore have some protection against Hep B. Some STD's can be easily treated and some can not be.
It would depend on how long and how much I liked the person. How well we got along, etc...
It really isn't a yes or no answer. It is a grey area. I think in some respects you are better to know if someone has something than if you don't know and you think they're unaffected.
Too many people out there there have STD's and have freaking clue they're infected and passing things around to those unsuspecting people like us. So, at least knowing off the bat, you can protect yourself.
So, basically my long answer is...it all depends. Too broad of a subject to give a knee jerk reaction. Viral are the one's that can't be cured...which cause for more thought and consideration...
Would I give up the love of my life, or possibly the love of my life....? I don't think so. I'd really to have to educate myself more and get to know the person better. | |
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| If you had no STD's,Would you consider dating someone who did?
Posted: 10/20/2006 2:16:24 AM | No. You could have sex with a condom for the rest of your life and be protected, but there's always that slim chance that it'll slip off or break and you're screwed. It's not worth it.
If you new this person you might think differently!! There are so many bad things that can happen in any relationship,but a real connection is very rare!! And I'm not throwing that away over a little health scare or stigma a person may carry with them!! | |
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| If you had no STD's,Would you consider dating someone who did?
Posted: 10/31/2006 6:29:50 AM | | im sorry but u guys r all self centered she is a person just like the rest of us. first of all do u not see what this girl means to him. thats dedication initself and i dont really care if u guys believe in god but everyone on this planet is all the same with std's or not and face it we are all gonna go in the end wether by stds or just old age but this guy has something u all are searching for and that is a compoanionship and a love that he and his g/f have achieved | |
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| If you had no STD's,Would you consider dating someone who did?
Posted: 10/31/2006 7:01:51 AM | | ^^ Your right!!..Has to take a real special person to take that kind of risk for the rest of their life....you know...going to the doctor just to make sure you haven't caught it ..Every 3-6 months....worrying your stuff is going to break out (itch, burn, or ooze!)..no thanks!...Im sorry but Im not going to put myself in that position. | |
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| If you had no STD's,Would you consider dating someone who did?
Posted: 10/31/2006 7:14:11 AM | wow..that's kind of a hard question to answer....thing is...if I knew in advance I would probably not let it go far enough that I would allow my heart to fall for this person...but if they tell me after I already have the feelings invested then...it is harder to just walk away...but at the same time you resent them for not being honest.
I just don't wanna be in that situation...I have no STD's and would perfer to keep it like that. | |
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| If you had no STD's,Would you consider dating someone who did?
Posted: 10/31/2006 7:56:21 AM | Looks like you got quite a debate on your hands, but the truth is no one can tell from initial meeting of a person weather they have some kind of STD or no. Look at the numbers and do a bit of research, the amount of people infected with something is staggering. People can sit here and say all day that they couldnt or wouldnt........ But truth is they probably have and just didnt know it. The only way a person can be truly safe is to not have sex..... lol ..... And that would be no fun at all!!!!! Stastics say that what 1 in 4 people have herpies and I seen other people quote other stastics for HPV, AIDS, Hep. How can a person in all honesty say they they have never been exposed to a sexually transmitted disease unless they have never had sex in their life. With the case of Hep and AIDS, you dont have to have sex to aquire them. So even your typical virginal man or woman could quite possiblly be infected.
Would I yeah, for the right person. It would be silly for me to think myself above someone just because they have this sort of problem in their life. Did they beg for this, NO. Not even for one second. Someone not so honestly helped them aquire it. But for people that have them, be honest about it..... The person who wont accecpt you how you trully are, is not worth having, and for the people that will accecpt someone educate yourself on how to stay safe. There are alot of good people out there.
D | |
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| If you had no STD's,Would you consider dating someone who did?
Posted: 10/31/2006 9:30:09 AM | | Just because a person doesn't want to date someone because of their STD's doesnt make them a bad person...(educated about the disease or not)....Maybe they just want to try to keep theimselves disease free..Im not taking the chance...I know you cant tell by looking at a person if they have it or not..but if their up front about it ..it gives me a chance to walk away sooner....Im gone...see ya!..My stuff's clean and I plan on keeping it that way...I am not going to worry everytime we have sex...some of the stuff out there you just cant shake off...why risk it? | |
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| If you had no STD's,Would you consider dating someone who did?
Posted: 11/7/2006 5:29:37 PM | | what do u mean why risk it. you take the same risk everday you just dont know it. i for one am a construction/roofer/developer and i have run into more risks then aids and hiv ive fell through old roofs and ive worked with azbestist i dont know how to spell that lol but anyways my point is and not to sound harsh but that might be a factor of why some of us myself included are single because we were and some still are selfcentered. flip the table what would u want f u had thew std i would want a girl to love me even if i was "infected". thats called real love and thats i guess is what we are all serching for.. so i give this guy all the reconition he deserves | |
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| If you had no STD's,Would you consider dating someone who did?
Posted: 11/7/2006 6:05:07 PM | I constantly see Hep C lumped with STDs,, really,, it's about blood to blood transmission.
I know a couple,, they are very close friends of mine, actually.
He has had Hep C for many years, had it when they met, they have been together many years and have a child almost 14 now. She does not have it, neither does the wife and obviously they have unprotected sex.
Educate yourselves before you make snap judgements, the transmission rate of Hep C through sexual contact between monogmous partners is about 3%.
The other thing is,, most people with this virus remain symptom free for their lifetime.
We all have to live within our own comfort zone, of course,, just wanted to add my thoughts.
fkf | |
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| If you had no STD's,Would you consider dating someone who did?
Posted: 11/10/2006 10:32:13 AM | well personally i would be scared.
Knowing someone actually was positive for STD(especially a life-threatening one) would be a no, especially in a new relationship......even with protection, you might contract something.......sorry | |
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holdmy
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Joined: 11/2/2006
Msg: 44 | |
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| If you had no STD's,Would you consider dating someone who did?
Posted: 11/17/2006 9:51:34 AM | Its to funny I came across this thread. I met someone off the site who lives in my local area. One thing led to another, it was almost like one of those " to good to be true guys" Well we were talking one night about the shaving of the pubic region. He hadn't done it, and knew I had, so one day decided to use VEET LMFAO, ok anyone that has used this product, or any chemical hair remover knows... DO NOT EXPOSE THE PRIVIES TO IT!!! He had mentioned that he was "hurtin from it" two days later we hooked up, one thing led to another... now with virgin skin exposed to a chemical, sexual activity for over and hour, fluid ect ect you get the picture... when it was said and done, he was hurting! And rightfully so! ( being in the work field i am, i know a lot of skin irritations causes ect ) Well i never heard from him for a few days, then i get this call. Only to hear this man that I couldnt even wait to hear from him again.... Tell me he thinks I gave him Herpes LMFAO well i nearly fell off my chair. I have only been with a hand full of people, i an extremely clean, over the top causious. And regularily see my doctor. AND... i would never ever expose anyone to anything, i dont even go to work or around friends when i have a darn cold! So needless to say, because of the VEET, roughin it sex, he broke out in rash. Simple... no, instead i am made to feel about an inch tall, dirty, and just, man i cant even put into words that way this made me feel. So he started making me think.. ok he is on pof... who else was he with.. then my kids came to mind.. i went right to my doctor, who laughed at me, but was checked and im 100 free and clear. In the end, he never called me back, never wrote me, blocked me in every way possible... and why? I even took time out to collect info on all different rashes, links for mens forums on using veet and giving the exact description he gave me. And still nothing. So much for bening a man. My best friend said its more then likely because he slept with someone else around the same time, and felt completely guilty in thought he might pass something to me. Need less to say, i have no real interest on meeting anyone completely now. All i wanted in the end, wasnt even a say sorry for such a heart breaking accusation, but maybe a good bye with the real reason.
Thankfully this was my ONLY and hopefully will be, the last and only time this happens. Those who have an STD, and know they do, should have enough respect for human life that they would inform their potential mate. unfortunately, some are far to greedy and selfindulgant to do so. | |
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| If you had no STD's,Would you consider dating someone who did?
Posted: 11/17/2006 4:01:23 PM |
I really hate how the general opinion is that a person with std is considered a "dirty" or "promiscuious" person.Doon't get involved they say. It happens to even the best of us and those with any form of std need love too!
I agree, but I used to be on the other side of the fence until I got an education I never wanted to have! I've been with exactly one person- my future husband and didn't lose my virginity until I was 28 and knew he was the man I was going to marry.
Unfortunately for me, approximately 20% of men have herpes and it is estimated that 80-90% of them may never know it because they have minor or no symptoms. Also unfortunately for me, general family doctors (like my fiance's) are not completely knowledgeable about STDs. Unfortunately for all of us, standard STD screenings don't test for herpes, so people may mistakenly think they're clean.
Now that I know better, I would be less likely to judge someone with STDs. I don't have to date anymore (yippee!) but here are my thoughts:
If they have HPV- not my dream, but it has become pretty much unavoidable and usually causes no issues.
If they have herpes- I can't avoid this anymore, but if I'd known then what I know now, I would take that risk (and still be as careful as possible) but only for long term love and I'd wait until marriage for sex.
If they have any of the curable STDs- get them to the doctor and it's no big deal!
If they have hepatitis- for true love, I'd get the vaccine.
If they have HIV- this one, I'd never take my chances with, no matter how great the person.
For everything except the HIV, my willingness to be with someone with those STDs would be based on what kind of behavior led them to get it. There's a good chance they were innocent and misinformed like I was. | |
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| If you had no STD's,Would you consider dating someone who did?
Posted: 11/17/2006 4:14:57 PM | I haven't met a man yet that is worth the trouble of contracting ANY STD..!
If it's curable....good for you..maybe we can talk..get it cured, then we'll talk.(maybe)...
If it's something that can't be cured...no thanks!...Keep moving!.
***my body...my life...my peace of mind are worth so much more**** | |
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| If you had no STD's,Would you consider dating someone who did?
Posted: 11/17/2006 4:37:00 PM | I think it is interesting how many people on this thread claim they would never date anyone with an STD. Given the current statistics and the fact that most STDs may never cause recognizable symptoms, it is safe to say that at least some, if not most of these people have definitely dated someone with an STD and possibly have one themselves.
Unless you are better informed that the average person (and average general practitioner) and every person you date is that well informed, you can never be sure.
Even relying on "safe" condoms is a joke because 1. they break and 2. they do not completely protect you from diseases like HPV and herpes that are passed via skin rather than fluids. | |
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