bs999
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Joined: 1/30/2006
Msg: 30 | |
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Posted: 10/18/2006 12:12:46 PM | Verygreeneyez
not to be rude to you or the OP, but aren't you going through that time in your life where it's normal not to miss sex? Menopause?
I wasn't trying to be mean but he is not explaining the full intent of this thread. Like 1000 why's to his question. It's hard to relate | |
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Posted: 10/18/2006 12:26:37 PM | OMFG ~ bs are you seriously uninformed? I'm 42, not 62. Menopause ~ LMAO I need to get your address and send you some information on the female body. Geezus ~ now that is the funniest thing I've read in weeks.
Just because you don't relate, doesn't mean it's a medical issue/problem. Some of us have developed a sense of self that doesn't require us lying on our backs underneath the man of the hour to feel fulfilled in our lives. It may be intimidating to you, or confusing or a lot of other things ~ but being that openly uninformed, misinformed, or malinformed probably isn't going to assist in your quest for sex. As I have stated, to each their own ~ I only live my life and I live it being true to myself, what someone else does is of very little interest to me.  | |
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bs999
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Joined: 1/30/2006
Msg: 32 | |
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Posted: 10/18/2006 12:42:31 PM | No I don't think I'm uninformed. Actually I'm prolly overinformed, well versed and understand that your rant is actually nothing more then that.
If you think it is normal to get married and not have sex at all, then yes there is a medical issue/problem/emotional/etc. Especially at his age.
Wake up sista!!!!! | |
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Posted: 10/18/2006 1:00:43 PM | That's a tough one.
I thought I had problems. Just close your eyes and try it!!!
You think when the first person grabbed a lobster it was cause they wanted to??
No they were hungry!! And you should be to. You're 19!!!! At that age, I had a constant errection!! I couldn't turn corners or wear regular jeans for 15 years!! lol Do you get yourself off??
If not, You may have issues that need a therapist.
Or maybe you think you're better than everybody and the idea of the lessers touching you is disgusting.
However you may be in luck. There are women out there who don't like sex. Course I don't think they've had it real real good. But you can find one of those!
I'd hang out at bingo. Most of those women have seen a barrel of pickles in their day and want nothing to do with yours. It may be hard finding one that's fertile though!
But if ya gotta make an omelette, Ya gotta break some eggs.
Oohh My best idea yet. Have a doctor extract your manjuice and put it in a testube.
That way you can still have a child and won't have to touch yourself or risk getting those horrible girl cooties!! Girl cooties lol thats funny stuff!! eewww girls are icky lol | |
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Posted: 10/18/2006 1:01:46 PM | It's insignificant to me until I am in a long term/loving relationship.
Did you just skim the post looking for a way to slam someone rather than reading what was being stated? Your "overinformed, well versed" self apparently missed that statement. I didn't say one word about getting married and foregoing sex. Maybe try re-read the words before you begin flaming ~ it's not very credible to pose an argument that is already answered two posts up. JMO 
EDIT: Sorry, OP ~ this post is in reference to bs^^^^ (HA..now that is funny!! Pardon the pun, or not!!! tee hee.) | |
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Posted: 10/18/2006 2:01:17 PM | Hi blueguitardude... my thoughts on the matter are... answer the questions posed so we can understand you better, unless your original post was just to confuse the **** out of most of us!
I absolutely agree that love can exist without sex, that its something you can wait for, blah blah. I don't want "sex" either... I want to make love to someone... the someone being the person I am in love with (oop... she'll know now! lol). If we're playing semantics then good for you, wait until the right person and make love to your life-long partner, and bypass the "sex"... you don't need it... though some limited experience might help.
What I can't understand is how someone could experience being with a woman, the passion it invokes... the chemical reactions that happen in the brain when you're holding someone that you feel couldn't be more perfect... and have no drive to be more intimate with them?... and in my honest opinion... making love to someone is more intimate than simply hugging or holding hands. That's not because I have a problem differentiating sex and love... its because it truly is more intimate. If you can't tell the difference, you haven't had one or the other... and if its the former, good for you! :) Its not just about the O (for some), its about the connection. Sex can be so... emotionally connecting... it can make a grown man cry (and no, not a wussy one, a UFC fighter one, before people post with comments on that one!). Can make you forget anyone else exists but you and your partner. Parents, family, friends, pets, food... who/what are they!?! I just want to hold you for the rest of my life. If you don't/haven't felt that... don't you think you might be missing something!?!
I really would go see a psychologist about it... not because I think you have to change, or your life is doomed... I just think you are missing out on something which can be so special and beautiful... it will blow your mind and give you a stronger connection to someone than you EVER thought possible. I've had similar feelings to you at points in my life, and they all stemmed from: inexperience, insecurities, feelings of inadequacy, ability to perform, to meet the grade, or to be special enough that someone would feel that way about me too... which is why I recommend the psychologist.
Failing that... there are plenty of women around who have no interest in sex... most guys will be able to give at least a short list... so don't worry, you're not alone! lol. :|
Oh... and please do explain why you have a limit to the amount you can post... whether its self-imposed, and if its just to draw more attention to your question, or you personally? realll confusing!
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Posted: 10/18/2006 2:56:38 PM | First off.......DON'T LISTEN TO bs999(BS Devil) lmao I am sorry OP.....U are NOT alone. There are many individuals such as yourself that have the same lack of desire for sex. I know a few people myself. When they became "worried" about it they went to their DR. about it. Only 1 of the 4 I knew had an actual "problem". The other 3 did NOT. It was just their personal preference. They just plumb had NO desires for sex at all. Please check out what Fry said about ASEXUAL and 20/20. Google it. You my dear will be very surprised at what you find. Informing yourself is key and so is getting to know who YOU really are as an individual. Everybody is unique and special and have their own wants and needs. NO ONE but YOU can tell You what you want, need or desire. You are not at all abnormal for your different preference pertaining to sex. Some love it, some hate it, some need/want it and some don't. Then there are those who just don't want/need or desire it. It is all personal preference. Do some of your own research and for peace of mind, yes even discuss with your Dr. It couldn't hurt. As long as you are Happy and content with YOU....who cares what any "ignorant"(or other) person says. Just be true to yourself.  Good luck my dear.
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It is possible!!!! That's what being gay is all about[ BS sir bs999. Lack in desire for sex most certainly DOES NOT INSINUATE one is gay.
This is ridiculous!!!!!I really think your gay. Have u ever masturbated or anything?
Why don't u just have friends instead of relationships? That's what your looking for. OH PLEASE!! The OP came on here wanting honest opinions and you PRESUME to tell the poor guy he is gay?? That just is not right nor is it nice.
It seems to me that he is not answering any of the questions that we all want to know. Is he a virgin?Does he have mental issues?Childhood?Asexual?Hermaphrodite?Weird?Gay?Seeking compasion? blah blah blah. Bottom Line__________________
Is it possible to have a relationship with a women without sex?Yes , yes it is. If your 90yrs old, the world ran out of viagra, and your d_ck fell off ....OMG did even READ the whole posts.....the OP did in fact say YES he had tried it and it just didn't see what the big deal was. It is ill-advised to open ones mouth or put fingers to keys and punch out words about something that one does NOT fully comprehend or understand. And bs999 I hate to break it to ya......again one can google this and research it if they were so inclined to do so, 90 year old men can, still have sex. I know of a 92 year old man who fathered his 24th or maybe 27th child. Think there were sets of twins in there some where. The point is...EVERY ONE is different. Don't make such assigning statements, judgements or assumptions about things. The OP is NOT gay, weird yadda yadda just because he does not desire sex. Please remember that ASSUME makes an AzzOfUand Me.!!
Verygreeneyez...not to be rude to you or the OP, but aren't you going through that time in your life where it's normal not to miss sex? Menopause? I wasn't trying to be mean but he is not explaining the full intent of this thread. Like 1000 why's to his question. It's hard to relate  Oh please. you are how old.....ah 27...well that what your profile says. How the heck and where the heck did you get your ill-informed information from. Rude?? Hell that is insulting....I am just a year older then the lovely verygreeneyez and I can assure you I AM NOT Going through Menopause and I can say with 100% certainty the she is NOT either. I can say that because I am WELL informed about the anatomy of the female body and its workings. UGH....bs....if you do not understand something, please do not insult others with your words of unintelligent jabberwockies. The OP does NOT need to post whether or NOT he masturbates just to make YOU happy or because you cannot relate. If you cannot relate that is YOUR problem and NOT the OP's or anyone else’s on this thread. I am not trying to bash here, but trying to help you see that how you respond to people and what you say is not always the "right or informed" of statements. I will tell you what MY mother told me. "If you do not understand something....Keep your mouth shut...do research and educate yourself on what you do not know." bs999 you do not know everything there is to know.....when it comes to women please educate yourself. You most definitely are NOT over educated in this particular field. I find it insulting as I know others do when you come across as all knowing but it only makes you sound foolish. Sorry OP.....YOU will be just fine.  | |
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Posted: 10/18/2006 3:21:54 PM | you are asexual
this just another sexual orientation like heterosexual, bisexual, or homosexual
there are others like you
likely you will find your partner of the same orientation
for the most part, of the other orientations, the physical expression of the emotional commitment is an expression of the wellness of the relationship
I would liken it to how people make play dates for their children so that they are adequately socialized. Sexual activity is like a play date for adults so that we are adequately socialized.
My understanding of asexual people is that they have some other means of expressing their affection for each other.
Good luck | |
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Posted: 10/18/2006 3:34:15 PM | is it that someone wants to put their bacteria-filled mouth on your bacteria-filled mouth, a place that is much more buggy than the average anus, and then swirl their thick, mucous-coated tongue around so they can coat the insides of your mouth with that mucous and those bacteria really, really well?
is it that someone wants you to kiss them in a place from whence they pee and poop or that they want to "show their love" for you by doing that to you, bunky, is that what's bothering ya?
or is it just that someone wants you to put what you pee with into what they pee with while they swirl bacteria into your mouth and then say, "i love you"? 
I dont know why any of that would turn you off ...hmmmm ........ | |
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Posted: 10/18/2006 4:08:28 PM | OP....dogparkgirl said it wonderfully. I was trying to get that out but, well, got distracted. Please google Asexual for yourself. There is much information there that may better help you understand. I still say also check with your Dr. as it won't hurt. Again their are many out there just like you and sweety. It IS normal.
 OMG Steven, I think I am now totally turned off of sex
Ummm Steeve sweety, I would never want you to put your "peepee" into where I "pee" from. Don't get me wrong......I don't know you......BUT....sweety, you would cause me severe medical problems if you did that. You see, I Pee from what is called the Urethra. The opening to that my dear leads to MY Bladder....NOT my Vagina.....They are 2 totally different places for a woman. 1 causes great pleasure(sexually) and the other...well I pee from and that is it. Sorry the  made me do it. I just couldn't resist.
Have a good day. | |
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Posted: 10/18/2006 4:22:31 PM | hmm u gay cus u r in your prime and u should be getting anywhere u can !!!! | |
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Posted: 10/18/2006 4:59:34 PM | Celestial Spirit, thanks for the anatomy lesson, but I am intimately familiar with a lady's private parts. Perhaps some of the other fellows reading might benefit from the lesson.Youre kidding, right?
Anyway, though, I dont think this kid is "asexual". I think he is right on in a way, that marriage should be about love, not sex, and that he wants it to be about love.
Sex without love or even sex in the name of love is really just about using someone, not loving someone. You use their body, they use your body. And that's ok if its mutual, its awful for some when its not, though.
I admire this kid for taking a stand, though. I've been led around by my****nearly all my life, it took me to be 50 to start thinking and discriminating between love and sex. Some of the people's posts I read here seem to have a belief system that the girl or guy who "makes" you orgasm the most or the strongest, even one who says that she only "squirts" from her One .....are pretty whacked.
So, good for you, kid. Good start.  | |
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Posted: 10/18/2006 6:30:44 PM | lol Steven, I like you. And yes hun I do know you are familiar with "anatomy"...I did take some time to read your profile. Sometimes I can be a real, umm, Smart Azz
From some of the posts on different threads me thinks some one could benefit from the lesson..
I have to agree with that as well....Marriage should be about love. Sex is just, well for lack of a better word, a "perk". Something that is shared by two people who have that unconditional love for one another. All to often I hear/see people talk about sex like it is a "tool" or even a weapon. That is just sickening to me. I have never had a one night stand and never will. I cannot just plumb have "sex". I cannot and will not allow my body to be used that way. That is just me personally, my choice. Does that make me "abnormal"? Not in my books. I believe in love and I know that when I love somebody...we won't have sex.....well will celebrate our love for each other through the art of love making. It seems many have forgotten about that. To me it seems as though this day and age it's just about sex and how many times one can score. Sad really.
OP. Yes I admire that fact that You took the risk and came on the forum with an honest and open feeling about yourself and your personal preference about sex. My only wish for you is that you follow your own heart and not let others try and sway you from something that you truly believe in. One can truly unconditionally love somebody without having sex. As I said, I know 4 people like you. 2 of them are married to each other (male/female) I have never seen 2 more beautiful and happy people in all my life. One can just tell when they see them together that they do truly love each other. And that my friend is so vary rare these days.
Stay true to yourself and good luck. | |
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Posted: 10/19/2006 9:38:44 AM | The guy has a problem and we all know it
who's "we" I know I'm not qualified. Thanks for the suggestion to google "asexual" and Aven Fry. Very informative .
I love the assumptions on this thread both for the OP and those defending him lol
Seriously though Op take that google search Fry suggested and perhaps a consult with your family doc wouldn't be out of order given your age otherwise as Celestial Spirit says "stay true to yourself". | |
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Posted: 10/19/2006 9:42:45 AM | oh dear.
Instinctively human creatures have the urge to get down and get dirty. Guys have their urge to spread their seeds.
to find the act "dirty" well welcome to the club, but enjoy it, it's a good kind of dirty! | |
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Posted: 10/19/2006 9:45:58 AM | I just took a photograph of this thread, and framed it, so that I could put it in the ever-growing directory of posts about why I think it's important to have sex before marriage.
I wrote "Exhibit A" on the back of the photograph with a fine-tipped Sharpie.
By the way, I don't think there is anything WRONG with not wanting to have sex, but God help you both if you marry a girl with a high sex drive.
We're talking "Ten-car pile-up" kind of tragedy. | |
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Posted: 10/19/2006 9:58:04 AM | Personally I think the OP has good reasons, either conscious or subconscious to him, that disincline him to physical intimacy. He seems very open to emotional intimacy. And if people can read between the lines, they ought to understand.
BGD, I would suggest you find a loving, stable, supportive relationship and then go into the physical side slowly. if your first encounter is bad, it will traumatize you for a long time. | |
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Fran47
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Joined: 10/4/2006
Msg: 50 | |
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Posted: 10/19/2006 10:58:48 AM | OP..... I've been reading the thread....but haven't come across your answer to one of the previous questions.... "Have you ever had sex with anyone...?"  | |
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Fran47
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Joined: 10/4/2006
Msg: 52 | |
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Posted: 10/19/2006 11:32:41 AM |
No I haven't.....and I honestly at this point don't plan to......
Well... you are still young, which isn't a bad thing. But... you definitely may change your mind after you've tried it. I have a son who is almost eighteen, and he had sex a couple of months ago for the first time. He was talking to me one evening and said... Wow... I never realized how hard it was dealing with sexual urges till finally having sex for the first time...(He is dating a girl that is a virgin....and wants to wait till she is older...)
Anyway... was just a thought... when the time is right... and you decide you want to have sex... you may find after having it for the first time... you can't live without it... | |
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ulao
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Joined: 6/10/2006
Msg: 54 | |
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Posted: 10/19/2006 11:43:02 AM | Dude Here is what you need to know.. My friend had this way of thinking..
He hate sex, and it did nothing for him. But here is the thing I told him.
Dude, sex is not about me when I'm with a girl it's about her. Hell some women don’t do it for me, but I love to do for them. If you find a girl you need to please her! If sex disgusts you there are other things you can do. But blueguitardude, In order for me to help you, you need to state what it is you don’t like. Can you put anything in her? Can you kiss on cretin thing? Does this talk gross you out? You also need to let her know what please you. Think about people that cant control there bodies below the belt. They find ways. Talk can be fun.. It is all about what you both want. Sex is not the end all be all. well haha, it is for me . but.. It does not have to be. Spell out what you don’t like about it and Ill give you my two cents. | |
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Fran47
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Joined: 10/4/2006
Msg: 55 | |
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Posted: 10/19/2006 11:44:36 AM | Hmm.... I must commend you!! That is not a bad thing... (while you are still young....) But... as you get older .... and marriage and having a family come into focus.... this will have to change. Besides... if you get a woman in your life...you will have to think of her needs as well...
Just a side note...Thanks for emailing me direct... I will be in contact soon... For now...I have to go pick my son up from work... And thanks for the invite!! | |
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Posted: 10/19/2006 2:33:12 PM | | that's just messed up. man.. I'm a virgin but i still think about sex all the time to the point i just wanna go to an escort and get it over with but then the rational side of my brain kicks in and tells me to put on the brakes. It's not neccearily a bad thing not to want sex but its still very odd... | |
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Posted: 10/19/2006 2:35:28 PM | | how can u say you dont want something youve never had? How can you say you want to love a woman without sex? woman most of us need sex to feel love. Maybe you have some personal issues or a chemical inbalance | |
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Posted: 10/19/2006 3:55:19 PM |
By the way, I don't think there is anything WRONG with not wanting to have sex, but God help you both if you marry a girl with a high sex drive.
We're talking "Ten-car pile-up" kind of tragedy.
I believe it would be called my last marriage. Shudder.
I am SO not kidding about that too.
OP: Find yourself a nice asexual girl. Yes, they exist just like asexual men exist. | |
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Posted: 10/19/2006 4:00:08 PM | | yeah, i can relate, I'm not very sexual. Well, it's not only that, I just dont really bond with people in any significant way. Sometimes I feel a physiological need for sex, but a few times a year is enough for me. It's an after thought, really low on my priority scale. | |
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