| HEY GUYS A QUESTION FOR YOU
Posted: 11/11/2006 5:09:04 PM | IT'S ALL UP TO YOU TO "MAKE THIS WORK"???!!
I give up. If you are that dumb and desperate, PLEASE marry this guy and put us ALL out of your misery!
I'm sorry, but sometimes I just gotta say what I gotta say...Child, you need your head examined!
If a man pulled that on me, I'd hand him his damned list, with "BITE ME!!" written across it in big red letters, and I'd be OUTA THERE.
I think this man may be some sort of emotional sadist, and he's ENJOYING yanking your chain. No matter WHAT you do, he will always have another condition, requirement or demand...Do you LIKE being emotionally tortured?? Do you want your child to grow up thinking that's the way a relationship is?? One cracking the whip and the other one jumping to obey??
Never mind what he should do and change. Don't you KNOW that's never gonna happen??
Child you are either a mess; or a troll!
Cindy O | |
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| HEY GUYS A QUESTION FOR YOU
Posted: 11/11/2006 5:13:48 PM | | Hate to say this, but he's probably just using you.If you've been dating him for a year. Something is wrong. Most men are pigs. You might want to stop calling him all together. Start seeing other people. don't even tell him, It's non of his business. You need someone who will treat you fairly | |
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| HEY GUYS A QUESTION FOR YOU
Posted: 11/14/2006 1:47:42 PM | ^^^^ niceguy_thats_me2000 is right.
You've been dating him for a year, yet it's ok for him to see other people.. hmm... no. I'm a guy and I'd feel bad going out with another girl even IF my girfriend knew about it unless they are friends i've known for some time now... Something isn't right there :P Go out, have a good time and have him kiss your ass for once. | |
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| HEY GUYS A QUESTION FOR YOU
Posted: 11/14/2006 3:41:18 PM | Hey teddy bear,
I am 46 years old & know a controling guy when I hear about one.
He wants to be able to do what ever he wants, but always expects you to be thare for him when he needs YOU, what about when you need him, is he thare ?
Dump this freak. It probably wont be easy, after a year, he probably already feels he owns you
I'm not looking for younger women but i have seen plenty of this before.
If you marry this guy you are setting yourself up for misiery, and probably mental & physical abuse. | |
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| HEY GUYS A QUESTION FOR YOU
Posted: 11/16/2006 10:40:19 AM | This is just stupid. It is hard to tell if you are a troll or just looking for validation?
My vote, and the "list" post put it over the edge, is:
Troll | |
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| HEY GUYS A QUESTION FOR YOU
Posted: 11/16/2006 3:44:24 PM | | Look i would tell him if he dont like you doing it then he shouldnt do it and jist a little advise i think if he dont want you to call so much he is seeing other people intimatelly i think you should leave him or give him a choice you or everyone else if he pics everyone else then you know what he truely wants . i Know it is hard i have been in simular situations and i am in one now so heres to ya hope things work out for you drop me a line and let me know how it turns out | |
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| HEY GUYS A QUESTION FOR YOU
Posted: 11/16/2006 4:02:54 PM | | It sounds like these people know what their talking about, good advice. He wants the best of both worlds, and you just want to be let into his more. Question: If he stopped going out with his female friends, would you be content with giving up your male friends? | |
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| HEY GUYS A QUESTION FOR YOU
Posted: 11/16/2006 4:39:29 PM | Give up on him life is to short to be waiting on a fella that has double standards.  Besides your holding on to a bad man, is only keeping good men away.  Girlfriend He's not in to you !!  | |
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| HEY GUYS A QUESTION FOR YOU
Posted: 11/16/2006 8:26:11 PM | | yes i would give up my friends for him as long as he does the same, talked to him tonight, and were working out our problems,its tough but he really seems like he wants to try to work on this...... | |
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| HEY GUYS A QUESTION FOR YOU
Posted: 11/17/2006 3:02:32 AM | I agree with some of the others you gotsa let him go tell him this isn't a one sided street and there isnt' only his standards . shoot women is this how you want to live the rest of your life . wondering? wishing? waiting ? i don't think so you want stability and someone you can trust, not someone that controls the situation.
ask yourself do i deserve better , do i deserve someone to call at least once a day and say hi beautiful how was your day, or someone who calls when they want.
Hey you dont' have to take my word for it . listen to your heart.
take care | |
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| HEY GUYS A QUESTION FOR YOU
Posted: 11/17/2006 3:23:53 AM | | My step sister was with a guy like this. He used to tell her on nights they were going out without each other, which was frequent, "you can't go to place A, B, or C, because that's where I'll be". And she didn't! She ended up losing all her friends because she put the relationship with this guy before them, same with most of her family (longer story here, but that's another thread). I saw her one night and she said to me "He FINALLY said I love you!" She was so excited and thrilled.....it was their FOUR YEAR ANNIVERSARY! I told her she was a fool waiting around for four years to hear that, and she needed to leave. She didn't leave. They ended up getting married, and before you get all excited that I said that, guess what? She's miserable. He told her he didn't really want to have kids, and they had a kid. She is the one who takes care of the child, he barely lifts a finger. She'll call my parents to come get the kid from daycare if she is sick, etc, before she'll disturb him at work, and he has a very flexible job where he could easily pick the child up. Little things add up to a lot, OP, and if this guy is everything you are looking for in a man, you need to raise the bar a little in my opinion. Someone who is everything you're looking for should WANT to live up to that expectation, not put demands and lists on you. What kind of things does he want you to change before he'll commit to you? And if and when you change them, how much of yourself are you going to lose? | |
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| HEY GUYS A QUESTION FOR YOU
Posted: 11/22/2006 9:08:46 PM | Ahem....
first, anyone who asks you to give up friends that you had before they came into your life, does not have your best interests in mind. Call that a major red flag and just say "no"
Second...one of the reasons you are calling him so often is because according to him, he is the only one you are allowed to have. Obviously, he doesn't like being the center of your universe, it is too much pressure on him. It is better to keep your friends and by so doing taking some of the pressure off him.
Besides, this resentment you have toward the unfairness of it all is in your way now. Do you think it will go away the longer you go without friends and have to depend on him for all your needs? Is he fullfilling your needs now? Do you like this? Do you trust him?
Are you hooked on his sex and just trying to keep your supply?
Does he bring out the best in you? Do you like the person you are right now? Do you like your life right now? Or do you think you are nuts for staying with this guy and wondering why the heck you are still here?
If it is the latter, chances are you are more addicted to this guy than in love with him.
A healthy relationship brings out the best in each other, and looks at the relationship as something the folks in it build together. It is win/win and honors both of them. (even if one of them is a humiliation junkie...there is still an underlying respect)
You say he told you that you are "rushing" things and moving too fast.....think about this a minute...AFTER A YEAR????
Any friend that he has to hide is not a friend. Friends are folks that are relationships that are out in the open, and folks to be shared with you. If he is hiding friends...what else is he hiding?
What type of relationship do you hunger for? Maybe you just like the Dominance this guy gives you. So cool, look for that in a dominant that also has integrity, openess, honesty, fairness, cares about his gal, treats her well (unless she hungers for the other stuff then he frames it accordingly)
There are aspects of this man that fullfill a hunger in you. Get real honest with yourself about what those aspects are. I suspect there are traits or dynamics you desire or need in a relationship that you are not quite aware of yet. Get aware.
You can have your dreams come true.
Pay attention to yourself.....figure out what things this guy does give you, and then you have the chance to find them in someone who also is on the same page as you in the integrity department.
Good luck. | |
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| HEY GUYS A QUESTION FOR YOU
Posted: 11/23/2006 7:11:47 AM | OaklandSweetie,
I guess I will parrot what most people have said here. He wants you not to see others yet he is? He spends time answering text messages when you are there?
Relationships are supposed to be equal partnerships and not be based on a double standard.
I suggest that you politely tell him GOODBYE. Although you may feel he is "Mr. Right" for you in my humble opinion he is just playing you and taking advantage of you. Get out now, before it gets any worse.
There are "plenty of fish" (pun intended) in the ocean; from bottom dwelling scum sucking bottom feeders to beautiful angel fish and everything in between. Don't be a sucker fish to this guy's take advantage fish. | |
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| HEY GUYS A QUESTION FOR YOU
Posted: 11/23/2006 7:18:18 AM | | Stop calling him. Relationships are not suppose to be that much work. Its hard to see that when all you see is how much you love him and how much it will hurt. I just think you both need time apart. Wether you like it or not if he says you are calling too much then you are calling to much. So just stop calling him. Dont make it a big drama series just stop calling him. He will call when he wants you. It stinks but you cant make someone want to spend time with you. Be nice when he calls. Be happy too hear from him. Enjoy the moments. But be strong and stop calling him. | |
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| HEY GUYS A QUESTION FOR YOU
Posted: 11/23/2006 11:51:52 AM | IVE BEEN DATING A WONDERFUL MAN SINCE LAST NOVEMBER,HES ALL I EVER WANTED, IM IN LOVE WITH HIM,HOWEVER,HES SEEING OTHER PEOPLE AND DOESNT WANT ME TO SEE OTHER PEOPLE I DONT KNOW HOW TO HANDLE THIS,HE SAYS I RUSH THINGS,AND NEED TO HAVE PATIENCE WITH HIM,HE SAYS I CALL TO MUCH, TOO OFTEN,AND THATS WHY I DONT HEAR FROM HIM FOR DAYS SOMETIMES,BECAUSE IT UPSETS HIM THAT I CALL SO OFTEN.BUT I THINK ITS BECAUSE HIS SO CALLED FRIENDS HAVE HIS ATTENTION,ITS OK FOR HIM,BUT WHEN I GO FOR A DRINK WITH A MAN FRIEND ITS WRONG! THIS ISNT FAIR!
MY WHOLE WORLD IS CRUMBLING,PATIENCE RUNNING OUT. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO!
NOVEMBER 16TH WILL BE A YEAR FOR US BEING TOGETHER.
PLEASE TELL ME WHAT I SHOULD DO,I DONT WANT TO LOSE HIM,BUT IM NOT GIVING UP MY FRIENDS EITHER!!
==========================
He must respect you and he must decide.
If he is to make a lifelong bond with you he must be faithful.
Niether he nor you must be shared by other people.
If the bond is to be with each other, then it must only be you and him only.
This issue must be resolved. You sound like a sincere person, he sounds like a PLAYER.
If he plans not to be faithful, cut him lose and
find someone else who fulfills your criteria(S) AND is FAITHFUL. | |
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| HEY GUYS A QUESTION FOR YOU
Posted: 11/24/2006 5:39:31 AM | *HES SEEING OTHER PEOPLE *
(this is your first clue)
*DOESNT WANT ME TO SEE OTHER PEOPLE*
(can you say CONTROLING)
*WONDERFUL MAN *
(come on girl friend, if he is so wonderful, why are you so misrable?)
*PLEASE TELL ME WHAT I SHOULD DO*
(you do need help honey talk to a doctor, not letting go of some thing distructive for self is not good, co-depenancy comes to mind,.... )
the fact is You know what to do about this, but the Question is will you take the steps to stop it | |
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| HEY GUYS A QUESTION FOR YOU
Posted: 11/24/2006 10:32:30 AM | well always remember that your friends were there b4 his ass and just as he is able to see other people you can do the same if you choose to my philosphy is that i came here alone i might leave alone but no-one can make decisions for you that will make you happy only you can do that and if he loves you he will give you that time of day when you ask of it.
just my opinion though hope you get what yo uwant if not hit me up :) | |
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| HEY GUYS A QUESTION FOR YOU
Posted: 11/24/2006 2:16:10 PM | yea, i need help all right,but not a head doctor and it isnt co dependncy, i really do love him, its just we have so many issues and i admit some of it probably is me bugging him because i miss him, maybe, hes right on the not calling so much, yet he has issues too, like not listening very well ,hell i dont know,just confused.....   | |
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| HEY GUYS A QUESTION FOR YOU
Posted: 11/24/2006 3:38:30 PM | um......two words....
"bye, bye"
off to bigger and better things, girlie.....don't wait. don't walk. RUN. | |
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| HEY GUYS A QUESTION FOR YOU
Posted: 11/24/2006 4:32:27 PM | | You did ask alot of people what they thought of what your friend is doing and almost everyone said move on. I would be bothered by someone still dating others while he expected me to just be with him. That is more than a double standard, it is just cruel really. You never really can trust where you stand with someone like that. I would be wondering if he was just keeping me on the line till he found someone he felt he could commit to. Also the biggest question to ask yourself is are you really in love with him or just seeing what you want to see in him and loving that. I feel you are in denial with what is truly going on here. Step back and really think this situation through and see where your feelings lead you. | |
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| HEY GUYS A QUESTION FOR YOU
Posted: 11/24/2006 5:26:14 PM | He is called controling. He wants everything his way and nothing for you hun. That is not love. Hope you figure this out before you waste another year.
Good Luck
xoxo
Lori | |
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