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msyscb
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Joined: 1/23/2006
Msg: 26 | |
| It seems as if I always attract the wrong crowd...
Posted: 12/12/2006 3:35:36 PM | Catalist,
First off, let me say you are a beautiful girl, and I would imagine you could at least catch the interest of almost any guy you care to show an interest in.
I am always stuck w/ the players, alcoholics, smokers,druggers, etc.
Man you rattle that stuff off like it's all bad. You sure are uptight for a chick who shoves her ass in a camera, wearing a pair of shorts that says "PARTY COVE" then posts it on the internet to attract guys. Hmmm? I wonder why the playas are knocking down your door.
I can't figure it out. I gues you will just have to get used to it. Probably no solution. | |
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| It seems as if I always attract the wrong crowd...
Posted: 12/12/2006 11:06:05 PM | | Catalistdancer87, you ain't doing anything wrong. Really what do you look for in a guy? See you have to find a guy that is sure of himself, not overly, but a guy who is stable, who is simply is happy being who he is, as well as a guy who is interested in you, meaning whatever qualities you have and hold dear to you, those can be some the things a certain guy might think, hey this girls kinda cool, wouldn't mind chatting with her. True, there are tons wrong types of guys out there and yes it sucks they magnetize themselves to you. Best luck to you anyways. | |
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| It seems as if I always attract the wrong crowd...
Posted: 12/13/2006 2:54:10 AM |
Okay here it goes...it seems like I have trouble finding a guy, sometimes...and well if I find any, they pretty much come to me...I attract the wrong guys..I am always stuck w/ the players, alcoholics, smokers,druggers, etc...and what is bad, honest to god...when I meet them and start dating them...I dont know they do that bad stuff...I don't know...is it me or am I doing this all wrong and shouldn't date...please help!!!
The only advice I can offer is the following:
If you want something different, you're going to have to *DO* something different.
Recognize your habits in choosing guys and then change them. See how it works, and if it doesn't, rinse/repeat until you attract a guy that is actually good for you. | |
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| It seems as if I always attract the wrong crowd...
Posted: 12/13/2006 4:22:13 AM | | In order to attract the right crowd you've got to separate yourself from the "wrong crowd." Try not to get caught up in what everyone else is doing. One practical way to do this, as others have suggested, is to dress modestly and I know this is a tough stand for a girl your age and even older ones. Sometimes the wrong attention is better than no attention isn't it? But what you want is honest attention. | |
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| It seems as if I always attract the wrong crowd...
Posted: 12/13/2006 1:20:37 PM | I hear ya.. most girls I see now want that kind of shit.. its crazy.. I'm not a gangster I'm sorry but seriously wasn't raised to dress like that or talk like that, but this is your post so I'll tell you what I think.. you should go and be up front with everyone you meet, shy or not let them know from the get go so you don't waste your time or his, I'm sure it will work, but your an exceptionally attractive girl so he might lie and say he's good when hes not and if he does that sorry but theres no way to catch a lier when you don't know him :(
Vincent - best of luck | |
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| It seems as if I always attract the wrong crowd...
Posted: 12/13/2006 1:40:58 PM | | hello, just some advice, if you are speaking of guys on this site, your pic is pretty suggestive, maybe if you post one that is a little more conservative, that might help, but I understand what you mean, out in the world, it is very hard to find a man thatr doesn't do drugs or drink insesidly, or hav other issues, I am a good moraled woman and just want to find the same,,,,,,,,,,,,goodluck girl! | |
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msyscb
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Joined: 1/23/2006
Msg: 34 | |
| It seems as if I always attract the wrong crowd...
Posted: 12/13/2006 2:00:03 PM | ^^^^^^^^^^^
What is insesidly?
In my day, I have drunk quite a bit; everything from absinthe to ouzo, and not in small quantities. I have never heard of insesidly, and why is it worse than other types or spirits. If chicks think it is something bad for their boyfriends to be drinking, I think it is probalby something I should try.
Anyone know where I might sample a bit of this mysterious elixir? | |
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| It seems as if I always attract the wrong crowd...
Posted: 12/13/2006 9:22:41 PM | Well, you want advice, but I'm going to warn you you might not like it. Most of these will just be more questions, but in answering them, you should be able to draw conclusions for yourself:
1) Stop picking up guys at clubs. Thinking about where you met the last 5 guys (or more) you've "hooked up" with, where did you meet them? How many of those guys lived in the same town? How long did you end up staying with them?
2) Fix your profile. I hope you're not expecting guys to take you seriously when you have a picture of your butt and a cleavage shot on here. You're attractive enough you don't need an online forum to find a guy, you just need to fix your perspective on what you want.
3) Approach the guy first for once. Most attractive women do what they always do, look hot, wear clothes tight to the skin, and just wait for the first guy to go for the bait. Then some of them wonder why the fish goes back looking for more bait later. By having the guy ask YOU on a date you're setting yourself up as an object for him to try and get. Just from seeing your profile I think you'd be surprised how many guys whose phone numbers you could get if you asked for them at the bar/club or wherever you are going. If you HAVE to meet a guy at a club, then at the very least, make the first move. If he says no, don't fret it, I'm sure there's some guy that will say yes. An attractive guy hanging out with his buddy and his buddies girlfriend is probably going to be far more "relationship stable" than one of four dudes dancing and grinding with random women.
4) Projection is key. From your pictures, I'm getting the idea that you're probably wearing similar or less clothing when you go out dancing. I don't want to offend you, but you probably look like a walking advertisement for sex. You're absolutely an attractive young lady, but the kind of guy you're actually going to want to date is going to avoid you like the plague. Especially if you wear high heels to go dancing. That screams "high maintenance". I don't know if you do that or not, but if you do, stop.
5) Guys your age do drugs, binge drink, and screw more than one woman. It's just how it goes. If you're college age, you're just kind of cursed if you want something else, but I can guarantee you that at a dance club, the only guy worth dating if you want to avoid drugs, alcohol, or cheaters is the guy avoiding everyone and hanging out with just his friends. Try the pool table, find the most attractive one you can and hit on him. It will throw him off and he'll know you're after just him. If he ignores you, then don't fret it, I'm sure he still admires your courage. He might also decline because he is already happily dating someone, which is why you're going to find out that kind of guy is the one you should be going after.
6) If you want to find a guy on here, put effort into the text of your profile. I would skip over it so fast you'd be reeling at my total disregard for your pics. Smileys are killers. Maybe one or two, but strategically place them, and be sure to form coherent sentences and spellcheck in advance. You can get away with not doing that on the forums, but not on your profile. Remember, on your profile, you are trying to sell yourself. It's hard for someone to justify investing long term in you when it looks like you have little to offer outside of a great body.
Anyway, sorry if this comes off as overly critical, but I'm trying to provide honest advice. Take it as you may and good luck. | |
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| It seems as if I always attract the wrong crowd...
Posted: 12/14/2006 4:21:39 AM | the age range you specify may have something to do with it.
men 26 & under (and women for that matter) still have some growing up to do. you need to mature and you need to allow the men to mature before you start expecting them to behave like adults.
you also need to behave like one yourself.
that means making a positive impact on those around you instead of expressing disgust with the shortcomings of others. | |
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| It seems as if I always attract the wrong crowd...
Posted: 5/12/2007 6:05:04 AM | lol thats simply because you girls always overlook us. i dont drink, smoke, or do drugs. im a virgin by choice, and im still single. its not that u have a hard time finding those guys...its that u are too picky...u claim u want that, yet what u REALLY want is a model, a HOT guy who doesnt drink or do drugs, and isnt a sex-addict. sorry, first off none of u are models either...secondly, there's no such thing as a hot guy who knows how to treat a girl. sure ur current bf u say "oh no, hes hot and treats me right"....but hey, didnt u say that same thing about the last 20 guys u dated?? | |
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| It seems as if I always attract the wrong crowd...
Posted: 5/12/2007 6:44:06 AM | Maybe you spend time in the wrong places, meeting wrong people and thus attracting their friends who might also have bad influences....
Why not change your strategy and once in a while mee that nerd in the library and go to his party!! Do not forget your magnifying glasses....
Goodluck! | |
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| It seems as if I always attract the wrong crowd...
Posted: 5/12/2007 7:23:03 AM | Could it be your manor of attire that attracts the wrong guys? Perhaps you are attracted to the bad boys and that make them attracted to you in turn. Players are attracted to easy women, so if you dress like a floozy (and I am not saying that you do, but by the looks of your pisctures...well) you must expect to attract the players.
As Dave Chapelle put it, "If you dress like a prostitute, you can't get offended when someone mistakes you for one." | |
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| It seems as if I always attract the wrong crowd...
Posted: 5/12/2007 10:35:35 AM | | Learning to read people is probably one of the most important things a person can learn. I wouldn't say I'm an expert but I mean I do an ok job of it, sometimes. As to your question, I think it was already well answered. If you find that you keep meeting the same type of guys than its time to find a new watering hole. Time to get out there and find out where all the good guys are congregating. Easier said than done I realize, but you gotta start somewhere. | |
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| It seems as if I always attract the wrong crowd...
Posted: 7/7/2007 6:40:52 PM | | or maybe they see your pictures and go "omg she'll do me anyday!". thats how party animals, jerks, alcoholics, druggies are. or maybe like lots of girls on here u always reject the nice guys...ive never hurt, used, played or cheated a girl before...and like all nice guys im overlooked. we may not be models, neither are most of you girls...but we have hearts. and looks fade...and they can change. in 10 years, u may be fat...i may be real skinny. so if u care about looks....ur attracting the wrong crowd | |
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| It seems as if I always attract the wrong crowd...
Posted: 7/7/2007 7:47:19 PM | | I don't do drugs, I hardly drink.... You will occasionally find me in a bar but not often. I think you should think of activities you like doing and joining organizations, groups that do them and you will find quality guys. Like, for example, if you went to some volunteer organization you might find clean cut, decent guys who have a decent mind and heart. However, you have to not mind nice guys who are salt of the Earth kind of people. | |
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| It seems as if I always attract the wrong crowd...
Posted: 7/7/2007 8:23:30 PM | OP, you are basically saying that you are a "bad girl", or a girl who dates "bad boys".
Here are a few pointers:
1) Your dress sense speaks volumes. Dress like a nice girl and guys assume you are a nice girl. Oh, and take the suggestive pics off your profile or you'll attract the trouble guys.
It is unbelievably hot when you're dating a woman who seems all sweet, and not that attractive, and when you've had a few dates, she suddenly reveals that she's stunning, and you cannot believe your luck. She's called a 'stealth girlfriend'. The best kind. You know she's incredible, and no-one else does, so no-one's going to try and take her away from you. It also means the sex is just between you and her, on all levels. So much better.
2) Hang out with the nice girls and guys assume you are a nice girl. Guys assume that girls who hang out with "bad girls" are "easy", even if they say they aren't.
3) Stop saying "I am always stuck w/ the players, alcoholics, smokers,druggers, etc." or "I want a relationship" or "I want a nice guy". Guys hear this and immediately know that you used to date players, alcoholics, smokers,druggers, etc. And any woman who fell for them before, will fall for them again, especially if they pretend to be nice in the beginning.
Also, take these statements off your profile.
Change your speech. Nice girls do nice things, and say they want to meet someone with common interests and values.
4) Don't sleep with a guy on the first date. Guys your age are only interested in one thing: playing. The guys who are looking to hook-up will move on if they don't get action quickly because they can get it somewhere else. So hold out a little, and they will be very inclined to drop off.
5) Pick different guys. The ones who are not playing at dating are not playing at life, i.e. stable jobs, or student but studious and not out partying every night, etc. You could also try dating geeks. You don't have to be attracted to a guy on the first date, to find out you're crazy about him later on, and think he's really hot to boot. But you don't have to date him forever till you fall for him. You put on your profile that you like fun, non-sexual stuff, like fishing and watching movies. You can do that, and see if he's fun, and if you two have a lot in common or not.
The rest, others have put before you. | |
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| It seems as if I always attract the wrong crowd...
Posted: 7/9/2007 5:26:55 AM | Hello....... did you read your own profile? How do you expect any guy to take you seriously when for 1 you come across as desperate and 2 YOUR ENGAGED?
Give me a break, I think this thread is just another sorry attempt to get more attention. | |
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