| Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/20/2006 3:39:02 PM | "She was twenty years younger than me and very good looking in a crack addict sort of way. She was also a prostitute. Oh well, just my luck."
If you get her address, pass it my way plz...  | |
|
| Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/20/2006 3:56:28 PM | | ^^^I no longer have the address. When POF deleted her account (I'm assuming it was POF) all traces of her were gone - including the email she sent with the address. It was as if she never was - now what do I do with the flowers I bought? | |
|
| Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/20/2006 4:18:50 PM | Some of us have demanding professional lives, and don't have the time to waste hours every day writing what women treat as electronic toilet paper
Is it really a waste of time to sit down and write an email? Is your demanding professional life going to get in the way of your dating someone? Maybe you could find 15 minutes to go for a coffee or maybe you could c/p the date too. | |
|
| Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/20/2006 6:16:14 PM | --THE HOPELESS DEFENCE: The Defence of the average guy on POF--
Guys, it's very difficult for women to imagine what it is like to be a decent guy on this site. Some of the women here, no offence, really don't have the right perspective.
Imagine you are a guy. This is a little more difficult than it first appears, so, let me tell you a story of what normally happens when I write a message:
I read the person's profile to get a feel - if I sense a spark, I glance some deal-breaking facts: what city? children? available? Then I read it again. If there's nothing in the profile that inspires me to write her, I'll add her to my favorites to do it another day. To be honest, it is difficult to be inspired sometimes because on many occasions I might think a person is cute, but they didn't say anything or just said "I'll fill this later" so I just add her and continue clicking around. Other days I'll actually do an advance search and work through the list.
If I really feel like I have somthing to say I'll spend maybe 15- 20 minutes drafting up a message, but I might not send it till I think it actually has a chance of catching a person's attention - I hate feeling I've "wasted" my chance. They usually weigh in at about 300+ words - depending on how much the other person said in their profile. I usually have more to say, but I'm afraid of looking... I dunno, chatty?
Then I send it out and check in on it later that day. Here are some approximate stats:
1/3 - unread deleted
1/3 - read deleted
1/3 - unread (and never will be)
Of the "read deleted" ones, about 2/3 of them are delted immediately, while the other third kinda hang in pergatory forever.
You don't want to know how many messages I've sent over my time at POV.
I can COUNT the number of responses I've had on one hand - and none of them were ever really substantial. I've had two with 3 or 4 lines in them, and the rest were literally one liners. All of them stopped messaging after just a few friendly messages - usually 250 words from me, and one or two lines from them.
Now to those women out there that say they refuse to cut and paste, I do understand your view completely. I don't read spam, so why should you? If I were a woman, I'd only want to read real messages from guys that actually spent time on my profile, not some guy that sent the same post to 10 different girls.
But if you were a guy who has experiences like this, would you continue to write geniune messages to each and every person you were interested in?
Of course you answer, "why yes." Then I ask, would you continue to do that, if after a number of years you get no responses? - maybe you would. And honestly, I do.
And for those of you that just thought, "well only an idiot would keep trying after a month...." --- that's EXACTLY what tempts guys into cutting and pasting.
In defence of the guys out there that cut and paste, if you're a guy that doesn't tend to attract responses, your odds of getting a response are probably less than 1/100 (that equals 1 response every 16 hours, at 10 minutes a letter). Now, actually I'd be unbelievably happy thinking that in about 50 hours of letter writing, I'll maybe get one response. For me, that's not true.
But remember how it'd be nice to write to only those you are truly interested in? If you found one of those individuals every other day, say, it would take you almost a year - just to get a response - that's just a response, not an actual conversation.
So guys, on average, how many responses out of 10 become actual dates? - I honestly don't know - tell us!
Now, for all teh women out there, if you were a guy, would you follow your own advice and spend 10 minutes or more on every profile you were interested in? I have, and I will admit that it's very tough on a guy knowing that every letter that you've spent time writing will never result in anything - or even be read.
It's not a matter of laziness at all (not for all guys, I mean) but practicality - unless you think spending a few years writing dilligently for a few responses should be expected of us.
And if any of you think I'm exaggerating, let's see if any guys on here have experienced the same? | |
|
| Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/20/2006 6:55:56 PM | ^ I think this is the most heart felt  post on this topic. It really got me thinkin' really guys are you just looking at a return % here? Man some of you people sound like  you been married for years. To each other that is... I nither copied nor pasted this  oh some of this stuff sounds like you are looking to find anybody , I'm a guy but I think this has to be a turn off to a woman. It would be kind of like going from girl to girl at a party and giving them all the same line. By the end of the night they are all going to have talked to each other about it ....
But then again I do not get many replys either. but I aint going to get bitter over it. | |
|
| Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/20/2006 7:01:31 PM | | I`v seen many woman do this also.It`s not just men.Personaly I have never done it. | |
|
| Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/20/2006 9:40:22 PM | Why thank you, Irish -- (I think, haha)
I'm usually the one bashing the guy's point of view, but on this topic, I think it's difficult to see what's going on for some women.
And you've revealed one of the catch 22's of it as well - that is, if you write too many messages, it's a turn off. (for the record, I've only ever written 5 messages ).
The story that some women (not all by far) like to tell us is that the ideal, decent guy, joins a site like this for fun, reads a few profiles he feels a connection with and sends out a few messages. A week or so later he gets a few responses and out of those he finds someone he really clicks with, they eventually meet... it's a great image. I have no doubt that this is the experience of many women on here.
I don't blame women for wondering why guys would even consider writing more than a few messages, or why most guys don't just quit if they get no responses in a few weeks and a dozen messages.
Perhaps that's a good point comming from their end? If it doesn't come in that ideal, spontaneous, unstrategic way, maybe it's simply not your place to find it here?
Another good point is that romance shouldn't involve a complex contemplation of percentages and strategies - that's the kind of thing you'd expect from a hockey analyst, not from someone looking to find a date. | |
|
| Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/20/2006 10:20:54 PM |
The story that some women (not all by far) like to tell us is that the ideal, decent guy, joins a site like this for fun, reads a few profiles he feels a connection with and sends out a few messages. A week or so later he gets a few responses and out of those he finds someone he really clicks with, they eventually meet... it's a great image.
Actually, that is the way I do it. I write very few letters but my response rate is very high. I just have fun with it and I don't take it seriously. I don't want to sound full of myself, but perhaps the ladies respond to a more casual approach (they'll have to tell us). It seems to be that way for me. | |
|
| Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/20/2006 10:33:50 PM | Oh I don't doubt that it really is that way for some guys. Glad to hear it.
But for others it's really really not haha. I think there are fewer of those that are as fortunate as you than there are that have a more difficult time. And I don't believe in all the cases it's because they aren't casual about it, though this is indeed a requirement.
Of course I don't actually have any stats - just a rough idea having seen what some guys say. The sucess rate could really be alot higher than I think. I could very well be getting a false impression. But there definately are a large number of guys that rarely get a response, despite uncontrived, probably very good, honest, messages -whether sparingly or a few every day. And it seems that a few people don't believe this could possibly be the case or at least not for very long. | |
|
| Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/20/2006 10:55:28 PM |
The question I hear from women on here is "why do men copy/paste the same message to multiple women". Here's the answer: When there are tons more men than woman, and women read/delete emails without replying, men send out mass messages in hopes of getting a few replies.
and its no difference to sending the same c.v. out to multiple jobs, when there re tons more applicants than job, and the personel dumped the cv in the bin without replying. | |
|
| |
| |
| Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/20/2006 11:35:03 PM | | Women can't seem to win here. If we don't reply we get stick. If we do, then the complaint is that it fizzles out after a few emails. The bare facts are, that if you don't get a reply then the recipient is not attracted to your profile. I can write and say "Hi thanks for writing" but it's not going to go anywhere. If you were in a bar and a person was not interested in you - would you insist that they had a conversation with you? | |
|
| Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/20/2006 11:58:30 PM | It's probably easier to give the shaft to someone here than in a bar
I agree with Sahaja completely. I don't think women should be criticized at all for not replying - or for sending back jsut a few e-mails and then trailing off. That's not something that the women of this site should ever be faulted with.
Imagine being a woman and getting, what, 12 messages or more a day? (and that's probably just a woman that shows absolutely no skin hehe.)
Who has the time to even read over a dozen new profiles with their messages every day, and respond to them? Especially if they aren't even interested in them?
But that just goes to explain why some men cut and paste - it was never a criticism of women, nor was it intended to be. It just explains the posted question, ie why men cut and paste. It's in no way the women's fault.
The thing is, many don't seem to understand why any reasonable man would be driven to do it. That's what I'm trying to relate - sometimes the tendancy to cut and paste comes from realizing how slim a chance it is that contact will ever be made, so the temptation is to send out more rather than contemplating waiting months or years for a response.
haha - The mentality can get to be like sending signals into space - those aliens might not even be there to hear it, so let's just shoot the signals everywhere and hope for a message back for evidence of life first. (okay, now THAT's an exaggeration, but I'm sure a few can relate lmao!)
| |
|
| Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/21/2006 12:31:15 AM | Because it's like Sex - Copy/Paste Copy/Paste Copy/Paste Copy/Paste Copy/Paste Copy/Paste Copy/Paste Copy/Paste Copy/Paste Copy/Paste until orgasm!!!!
Couldn't resist that one!!!!
| |
|
| Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/21/2006 2:50:26 AM | | .......hmmmmmmm they are lazy by nature and can't be bothered to type out the same thing again and again and again? ha ha ha ha | |
|
| Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/21/2006 3:47:27 AM | | well, funny enough it did happen to me and my friend too. The same day with a fractions of second in time difference. Oh yeah, my friend has blond hair too . So, after an initial suprise of "originality", two identical replies were sent back from two different sources but to one recipient. Needless to say, fish disappeared .... perhaps in deeper murky waters. | |
|
| Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/21/2006 5:35:32 AM | Erg... I never copy paste. I try to respond to what I read in the profile. If I read it wrong, well, I'm happy to learn what I missed.  | |
|
| Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/21/2006 6:11:53 AM | | I have never copy/pasted before. Truth is, I don't know how! I'm not very literate on the computer yet. I think that would be an insult to my friends to copy/paste messages to them. They are worth my time and effort, and deserve my best. | |
|
| Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/21/2006 6:36:59 AM | Personally I think men copy and paste hoping to get lucky with at least one of the messages that they sent out
mandrake48
left click and highlight all the words you want to copy
then right click and click copy then go to the place you want it in and right click again and click paste and there you go copy and paste | |
|
| Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/21/2006 6:45:55 AM | | thanks belladrama. Your assistance is appreciated. I'll try it out. | |
|
| Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/21/2006 7:06:42 AM | well Im not sure about the whole copy paste thing, sometimes they are funny but I generally dont respond because I figure they sent out so many and dont care who they are sending them too. But this is what is up under the sent messages here on plenty of fish , guess they are trying to make everyone feel better about noone responding to them
Hey if you see unread deleted don't be disappointed, some users (.01%) get 100 new emails a day if they have a great picture up. People like that don't have time to read your message even if they wanted to.
and yeah i copy pasted it sue me We just arent good enough for them thats all | |
|
| Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/21/2006 7:08:48 AM | Copy and pastes are so obvious, and in no way worth my time. If someone doesn't want to spend a few minutes to spend a more personal message then that's their choice. I have seen variances though that work better than a mere copy and paste. Some messages start with a personal note and then add a copy and paste about themselves that says more than what's on their profile. I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
I believe a person may get one VALUABLE/SINCERE/WORTHWHILE response from a personal well thought out email (even though you may have to send out multiple emails to find this), vs maybe one or two vague responses that may not (or likely not) go anywhere from a sending out 100 copy and pastes.
Ever heard that saying...... you only get what you give. | |
|
| Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/21/2006 8:27:06 AM |
Do you really think most women will respond favourably to spam?
One of us is misunderstanding. There is a difference between copy and paste, and bulk emailing. When I copy and paste a message, it is not sent out to every woman whose profile I read. I only send out a message to a woman whose profile I like. The average I send at one time is around six or seven.
However, it takes nearly half an hour of careful thought, editing, and re-editing to get the message the way I want it. There is no way I will spend three and a half hours a day typing messages. If a woman's ego is big enough to think that a man needs to invest that kind of time in first contact, I want nothing to do with her.
I can't believe that is your intent, though. Your posting indicates that you are associating copy and paste with bulk emailing. The latter is unacceptable, while the former is necessary. | |
|
| Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/21/2006 8:33:23 AM | "Sometimes its too much work to type up new messages all the time." Is this the motto of the copy/paste crowd? Should be! Too much WORK? I'll try to restrain my response, but obviously it's not something wanted enough to expend a modicum of individual effort.  If I could wave my magic wand, I'd have all the mass emailers get a response from all 20 or 25 they're copy/pasting to, just for one day. See how they handle that!! It's obvious from the responses who's doing the c/p, and that they're NOT expecting much if any of a response. Seems like an all around waste of time. Why bother? 
I hope greymatter doesn't mind me saying, but we've exchanged some emails on a friendly basis and I think he's a very intelligent and sincere young man. Got his act totally together. | |
|
Home
login 
, even prostitutes run away from you!?
