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| Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/10/2007 6:13:38 PM |
We don't feel "grateful" for your "crumbs"
At least you can get crumbs. Most of the men who do put in the effort to write a unique message never even get crumbs...
A lot of us have learned that the only way to get the first reply is to formulate that perfect sentence. The one that doesn't sound like a copy-paste. the one that was written just for you.
We are not trying to insult or "play" women when we do this. We have simply learned that to accommodate the high expectations of women online, we must provide more grammatical Bling-Bling. And since it is very difficult to match Voltaire for each of the many women we try to chat up, we become more efficient.
Here's a challenge for the ladies. Why don't YOU try messaging men instead of sitting lazily on your computer chair waiting for the thousands of men out there to impress you.
Try it. Then let me know how many will reply. | |
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| Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/10/2007 6:48:55 PM |
Here's a challenge for the ladies. Why don't YOU try messaging men instead of sitting lazily on your computer chair waiting for the thousands of men out there to impress you.
Try it. Then let me know how many will reply.
In my case, 2 or 3 for every 10. About average...that's online. Offline the initial response is more like 50/50.
Thought you might want a statistic. | |
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| Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/10/2007 7:38:57 PM | Read my profile and say something about at least one shared pastime, or the most you'll get is 'thanks but I'm not interested'.
I think most guys would consider it an improvement to get ANY reply to an introductory email! 
But, seriously: a lot, virtually all, of the females who are responding to this topic (of cut-n-paste intros) are saying that they don't like 'em. Guys are coming up with reasons for why they do 'em, and some of them are pretty good, but the point remains: if you're trying to get a woman's attention, it might be a good idea to listen to what women are saying. If a lot of women are saying the same thing (in this case, cut-n-paste is a bad idea), it might be a good idea for men to listen, then reconsider.
You only have control over your message as you say/type it. You have NO control over how it's received. It really doesn't matter what you MEAN by your introductory email, whether it's a cut-n-paste or an individually crafted intro; how it comes across to the recipient is what makes it a "go" or a "bust".
!Les | |
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| Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/10/2007 11:50:08 PM | stephan_1971,
Here's a challenge for the ladies. Why don't YOU try messaging men instead of sitting lazily on your computer chair waiting for the thousands of men out there to impress you.
Try it. Then let me know how many will reply. Oh dear, this again. I guess you never saw where I replied to it in another thread ~ I'm one who DOES send the first email on many occasions, and I know the risk it implies.
That's why I get so steamed by guys who won't at least read my profile before they expect me to find them interesting .. I don't need crumbs.
I wasn't personally offended, by the way: I was only making a point that, speaking for myself, I'm not so desperate that I need anybody to do me 'favours' by 'being nice' and 'letting' me have some attention.
I go out and get it if I want to, and by doing so, I take the same risks that you gentlemen do.
So please don't *you* be offended, ok?
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| Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/11/2007 12:11:36 AM | From post 203:
"It really doesn't matter what you MEAN by your introductory email, whether it's a cut-n-paste or an individually crafted intro; how it comes across to the recipient is what makes it a "go" or a "bust"."
I agree, 100%. And I have argued that a) the best copy/paste is the one that does not look copy/paste b) that the "hi, how are you?" icebreaker mail, when supported by the sutiable CV and sent to a woman whose profile has a good "fit" with yours, has IME a very good success rate (but I do not keep stats, I am not that "professional").
Now, some claim that they can "tell" copy/paste! Well, that is an issue that cannot be ressolved in here.
My experience: Many female profiles are either too brief or "too complicated".
And many women do not fill their "interests" section with "real interests". Eg they do not list "serious" interests because, I guess, they think that most men are not interested in them! Wrong! It is them who do not take the online dating thing "seriously".
But I still give them a chance because I am looking for that rare/illusive "intellectual connection" with a woman, that is why I use online dating in the firstplace! I have often argued that online dating is best suited for intellectuals. But intellectualism does not mean a "Labyrinthic"/messy/untidy in structure and thoughts, profile.
So, I do not consider a "hi how are you" icebreaking, supported by a well thought out profile, mail as "copy/paste". But then, it is a free country.
Plus the women in this thread and their views, albeit to be respected on an individual basis, in terms of numbers, do not constitute a statistically significant sample of women on POF or even POFF (which is a mere 1-2% of POF). In terms of numbers, I said, OK?
Peace! We are expressing our opins HONESTLY in here. That is what many women claim they want in their profiles, honesty.
It is supposed to be fun and for fun. Not a job or a "hunt for red October" (lol)!
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| Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/11/2007 12:53:57 AM | maybe because i don't care if i get an online date, although it would be nice and it's worked for me in the past, i am not afraid to contact people on shared forum issues or who live nearby, etc. i view pof as a means to network, as i do real life. if more than that happens, that's great.
i do know that unless i really communicate with someone, no matter which way (online or in person), they have no clue who i am and how i think. even though i think i express myself clearly, not to mention voluminously --many people come on here with a narrow minded vision of what they expect --so they get a narrow minded response or perhaps none at all.
now i aspeak as an older person. so , if a younger person is indeed getting 100 emails a day, then i would not expect him/her to be able to respond all the time. i get anywheres from 1-10 max a day, mostly from my regular and ongoing friends, most of whom who can also call or write to my private email. normally there is some substance to our contacts. sometimes new people contact me or vice versa--but the person needs to also show some substance. i might be able to deal with cut and paste if that were the case. however, the few i have gotten are very sleezy and from people who don't sound so bright! if it were not like that, i would respond to cut and pastes and also wish them luck on their marketing approach (humorously). if they did not seem interested in who i am, then i would assume they are just "upping" their favorite lists and i will ignore or delete. i only favorite those who have something to say that is interesting or who live nearby. | |
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| Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/11/2007 5:39:16 AM | Actually, the best copy and paste methods are the ones where you have a pre-made word doc set up, just have a generic intro and something about yourself already established...because, well, who wants to keep typing the same crap over and over and over and over again, right?
Then ADD a crafted paragraph specifically for HER profile.
What I get a kick out of is how women complain about this, but then we come across ads saying, "I like new adventures and meeting new people and long walks on the beach " or the constant, "If you're a player, do not email me or if you play games, do not email me!!"
I don't pass on by those profiles, and just fire off an email to them anyways, because sometimes you can't know a person through what they said in their profile.
And, that's the problem, some conversation never get past the profile and initial email exchange, because no one will reply.
I get a kick out of how I would see how much of a match me and a woman are by reading her profile very carefully, and seeing how much we match up...and I'd be thinking, "I'm alot like this woman, I gotta email her!"
Then she emails you saying, "I'm sorry, but I do not think we're a match, good l uck in your search"
I'd be like 'Um, yeah, we are a good match" So the only conclusion I can draw is that she saw my photo, and went no further than the photo.
Sure, we're a great match...I'm just not hunk to her. | |
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| Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/11/2007 6:42:53 AM |
But, seriously: a lot, virtually all, of the females who are responding to this topic (of cut-n-paste intros) are saying that they don't like 'em. Guys are coming up with reasons for why they do 'em, and some of them are pretty good, but the point remains: if you're trying to get a woman's attention, it might be a good idea to listen to what women are saying. If a lot of women are saying the same thing (in this case, cut-n-paste is a bad idea), it might be a good idea for men to listen, then reconsider.
You only have control over your message as you say/type it. You have NO control over how it's received. It really doesn't matter what you MEAN by your introductory email, whether it's a cut-n-paste or an individually crafted intro; how it comes across to the recipient is what makes it a "go" or a "bust".
Exactly. You can cut and paste all you want - and defend it, but don't expect to talk to many women by doing it. MOST women here are saying it doesn't work for us. If you feel that the audience you're e-mailing to is wrong, then hey I guess it must be working real well for ya. Knock yourselves out. For a lot of women, it's just that easier to weed you out from the rest... | |
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| Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/11/2007 6:55:14 AM | Well, the bottom line is that if a woman's profile is outstanding and really makes her sound interesting (yes, some men do read them), they will get a more personalized message.
If - as many men have pointed out in this thread - the profile is filled with the usual cliches, then a cut-paste message may be more appropriate from a male's perspective. we do have to parse between the profiles of women "just looking" and those who are genuinely interested in meeting someone. The latter usually posts a more personalized profile.
I've actually done the experiment, more so since this thread was started. Personalized messages contained a brief introduction and questions directed at points of interest in the profile.
Here a re my stats for 25 messages (accurate within +/- 1,78 percentage points 19 times out of 20):
Personalized message: 0/25
Cut-Paste: 17/25
No response: 8/25
There you have it. So for all the men out there debating whether a cut-paste method is more efficient, the answer is a resounding YES. Keep up the good work guys!
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| Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/11/2007 6:59:18 AM | "For a lot of women, it's just that easier to weed you out from the rest..."
That works both ways.
And a "hi how are you" icebreaker is not exactly a "secret" copy/paste (or even a copy paste, because one has type it on each occasion, lol). As I have tried to explain (!!) in this Colosseum (sorry, I meant forum), it is the profile that counts.. If a woman in here wants a more detailed mail, that will happen in the next one, if she has acknowledged her interest in the man based on his profile. Funny how some women who say read my profile do not read the profile but only the mail. They are a package! The tailor made - more extensive mail wil come in the second mail. If there is no first reply, then it will not, and both sides will "continue their own ways, the END/FIN" (w/o a movie in between).
Moral of the story:
One has got to love those dating antics, on and off line! Else better get married young! And stay married! Man or Woman. | |
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| Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/11/2007 7:13:48 AM | Time for my two cents!
I never cut and paste any messages on here. And, in the couple of months that I have been on here, I have sent four unsolicited EMails to women I was interested in. Yes, I am selective. Despite the low number of Emails that I sent, I still got no reply to some of them.
Let's face it, not everyone I feel an interest in is going to reciprocate.
I have also gotten several Emails from women. Some of those women not only weren't for me, but they actually made me wish they hadn't contacted me. That being said, I responded with a polite Email to each of them and explained that I was or wasn't interested for whatever reason and wished them luck on their quest!
I am looking for a relationship and sending bulk Email isn't going to get the job done. If some of the men on this site are looking to get lucky and not get into a real relationship, perhaps they should join a site designed for such encounters. Then they can cut and paste until they get waht they want from some bimbo that will never satisfy their urge for sex and never give them the satisfaction of sharing their lives with someone who actually means something to them...
...Glenn | |
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| Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/11/2007 8:06:00 AM | This site is designed for such encounters^^^^^
I just sent two women in this forum a cut and paste message, guess what they both replied, you ladies are so naughty. | |
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| Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/11/2007 9:15:19 AM | | Some of us will use a few choice words when a knucklehead copy/pastes. I tell them outright that they are wasting their time and I also tell them they just insulted my intelligence. I then call them a few choice words. It is moronic to copy/paste, and such a doofus should be told off in no uncertain terms. If you have to copy paste at all make it really short like "Hello how are you?" and not the long BS stuff that I've seen. That stuff can be smelled a mile away and is an immediate turnoff. | |
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| Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/11/2007 9:17:25 AM | What I find amusing are "no players or mind games" ..
As if a player or mind-gamer is going to ADMIT to it, and willingly avoid you because of it?
... right.
Said types are probably not aware that's what they are, as by the time those patterns are established, they're in denial. Try reasoning with that?!
... they'll write you if they like you, and if they're players & mind-gamers, it's part of their nature to fake it and no, they won't regard your warning. | |
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| Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/11/2007 6:20:41 PM | The only games I want to play are board games or the ones I'll play when I get my new computer in December!!!!!
Maybe I should take a Word document that's 100 pages long and send it to a guy who copy/pastes a long note that's sooooo obvious | |
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anomie
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Joined: 1/4/2007
Msg: 216 | |
| Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/11/2007 6:39:18 PM | I love the sweeping generalisations made on this forum "why do [all] men copy and paste"... Here's one for you: Why do women complain constantly?
I write a short thesis to most women which is usually read deleted... 3 weeks later I see testimonials from guys with "intimate encounter" in their looking for bit LOL.
Seems most women I get a message from don't bother. I am sick to my stomach of "hay sxc" as first contact and replies like "I'm fine thx... Looking forward to gettin drunk this w/e..."... Like I care... How am I sposed to reply to that? I don't bother with them if they can't be bothered to respond with a question. Is that bad?
I think most women aren't that interested in meeting someone through this to be honest. My absolute fave thing is the way many women blame men for the fact they can't meet a decent guy. Perhaps you ought to put some effort in, hmmm?
Also, "I don't like profiles with guys baring their chests..." Funny how those profiles have about 400 in favourites... Perhaps I should take a photo of my 6pack and my salary slip? I'll let you know if my results improve.
By the way, OT I know, but don't put "shopping" in your interests on your profile. It really doesn't work... | |
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| Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/11/2007 6:47:17 PM | Why umm cause it works! We don't really have to read every little word on your profiles too. Believe it or not its hard coming up with something original to say to multiple different women with the hopes that a few may actually reply. Sometimes you come up with something thats kinda nice and go with it, so that it doesn't sound canned. Its kinda like a writer when you puts some good words down on the page that work, copy and send it to print to see who responds. javascript:smilie(' ') | |
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| Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/11/2007 7:07:39 PM | Keep it VERY SHORT if you have to do it as an icebreaker, such as "how are you."
Otherwise it's a waste of time and really dumb. Yes, I WILL paste and copy old term papers and something that's over 100 pages long for such a doofus' reading pleasure if I receive a long and very obvious copy/paste | |
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| Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/11/2007 7:09:22 PM | AN OPEN CHALLENGE TO THE WOMEN
Here is my challenge to the women on here that are so against the cut and paste thing, although I understand why you don't like it I would like you to try a true roll reversal to understand the need of it from a guys point of view. First get a digital camera and take a pic of a male friend of your and use it to set up a fake account, take time to read several of the other female accounts thoroughly then send them a message (just one and see how many respond) Try to do this at least 25 times and get back with us with the true results (don't doctor them up just the brutal honest truth it will speak for itself.) I really want to know WHO WILL TAKE THE CHALLENGE. (just need about 5 honest women) | |
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| Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/11/2007 8:18:13 PM | | I think they'd have better luck getting a response if they used a goodlooking guys pic... | |
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| Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/11/2007 8:53:45 PM | | can somebody teach me how to copy/paste, im waisting a lot of time. | |
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| Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/13/2007 5:07:17 AM | Lovelybetty wrote:
Exactly. You can cut and paste all you want - and defend it, but don't expect to talk to many women by doing it. MOST women here are saying it doesn't work for us. If you feel that the audience you're e-mailing to is wrong, then hey I guess it must be working real well for ya. Knock yourselves out. For a lot of women, it's just that easier to weed you out from the rest...
I get the impression that a lot of guys that use cut-n-paste, once they hear how women don't like it, will then argue with women why they SHOULD like it. Like I said, they bring forth some good arguments (some not so good, too, but whatever...) But, the whole point of the exercise is to win a woman's HEART, not an argument.
!Les | |
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| Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/13/2007 5:21:35 AM | "But, the whole point of the exercise is to win a woman's HEART, not an argument."
Now I beg to differ, IME the best way to win the heart of some women is via intellectual cross-stimulation. I will not expand on how this works. But I will say that I pesonally like these women a lot and that POF and the POFFs have plenty of them, god bless them. | |
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| Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/13/2007 6:14:55 AM | Now I beg to differ, IME the best way to win the heart of some women is via intellectual cross-stimulation.
I agree. Women want to know that the man they're interested in has a mind, and vice-versa. But, there's a difference (huge, IMNHO), between "intellectual cross-stimulation", and "intellectual bullying and haranguing". TELLING someone how they should think, is not providing them with ANYTHING positive.
Anyway, "argument" implies an adversarial position, where you don't trade ideas, you brandish them like weapons. I think that the "copy/paste" thing is very accurately described as an "argument", by that measure.
!Les
"Positive: to be wrong at the top of one's lungs." -- Ambrose Bierce | |
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| Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/13/2007 6:29:37 AM | | ^^^ To remain on topic, I will only mention that I do not agree with the syllogisms in the above post, but in order not to wander off topic, I will not expand on the whys. | |
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