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| How do YOU handle rejection?
Posted: 10/22/2006 12:38:46 AM |
How do YOU handle rejection?
Your loss, dude! And by rejecting me, you made me available to the one man I've met on POF who treats me just right! If you live your life according to the opinions of others, how will you ever be happy??? | |
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| How do YOU handle rejection?
Posted: 10/22/2006 6:27:00 AM | ^^^^^ Practice putting yourself out there to be rejected ^^^^^
While I am not exactly expecting rejection with a small request I have...
specifically:
hitechygal:!!! Please send me an email so I can get past the distance limitation you placed on your profile. I'd like to comment on a couple things on your profile, and have a question for you.
On Topic: I do not view much as rejection, I take much at face value, and I never take things personally. | |
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| How do YOU handle rejection?
Posted: 10/22/2006 6:31:58 AM | If you're talking about here, I just move on. Nothing to get upset about.
I briefly had a stalker on Lavalife. She sent me several e-mails, in one her age suddenly dropped 7 years and then all of a sudden she had travelled to all the place i'd been, though her profile said nothing about travelling. Then I got an angry rant. Even after that she would once in a while she would e-mail to say hi, thinking I didn't realize she was a whackjob.
Some people take this palce way to seriously. | |
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| How do YOU handle rejection?
Posted: 10/22/2006 6:42:07 AM | I don't wait around for rejection so I don't deal with it much - but I am a realist and I expect some people to not be into me. It's a part of life and not a personal matter...and like a lot of other things in life, I look at it with the shoe on the other foot. Not everyone who approaches me is my type either. Most times I send an e-mail I don't even think about it anymore unless I get a response. Life's too short to freaking track it in sent items, lol. Let it go.
In real life, I approach, comment and walk....they either like me or they don't and if they do, they'll find me - I always leave them a way to do so. Beyond that why get so into what the other person does?
It's too bad people can't handle that kind of thing. A LOT of men tend to do this...I am convinced that positive is all they are expecting to get, and anything else they freak and send you back insults.
This is a dating site, and no one here should have to explain WHY they aren't interested. I find it awful that people come back and ask after that - it's putting people on the spot and that's basically unfair way to open them up to your own anger. | |
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| How do YOU handle rejection?
Posted: 10/22/2006 6:46:03 AM | If you're mature to any extent?.You should be able to realize, Not everyones for Everyone....and move on.Life doesn't end at one person..
cheers | |
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| How do YOU handle rejection?
Posted: 10/22/2006 10:48:04 AM | verisimilidude (OP),
How do I handle rejection? Like everyone, it depends on how "rejection" was handed out. We all naturally don't like rejection in most forms, and some folks are ultra-sensitive to it when it comes to some forms.
When it comes to emailing -- I've never gotten a "rejection letter", except in the past when I've emailed women who were somewhat older, they expressed some flattery, but let me know the age difference was a bit too much. Otherwise, no-reply means they lost interest or found better interest elsewhere.
If I got a "rejection letter", letting me know that they weren't interested because I wasn't their religion or form of Christianity, or that they were seeing someone, or didn't like guys who drank... I wouldn't be offended. I'd like it -- it wouldn't feel like a rejection, because I couldn't take it personally. It'd be better than getting no letter...
But obviously, the form of true "rejection", like "I think you're an a$$hole from what you write" or "I'm picky when it comes to looks, and I'm looking for a really built/tall/ultra-sharp-dressed guy I'm sorry", wouldn't be great... but it wouldn't be bad, unless I got about 5 a day, if I were sending messages out! | |
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| How do YOU handle rejection?
Posted: 10/22/2006 12:10:48 PM | surprisingly well these days....
just gotta realize that attraction like everything else is personal , sometimes you'll dazzle them , sometimes ya won't and sometimes you'll be the one dishing out the rejection - so always be kind with it and keep in mind what it felt like to be the rejectee. | |
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| How do YOU handle rejection?
Posted: 10/22/2006 12:15:28 PM | | got to ask why does some guys ask to meet every thing goes well then thats it they totaly ignore u after it .. both on here and by phone i dont get it any one got any comeback on this am i doing something wrong | |
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| How do YOU handle rejection?
Posted: 10/22/2006 12:24:37 PM | | some people are thin skinned and have low selfesteem therefore they can't hadle rejection. In life there will always be some rejection, but you have to know how to make lemonade when throw some lemons! | |
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| How do YOU handle rejection?
Posted: 10/22/2006 1:25:17 PM | I would accept your email for what it was, we aren't compatible. It sounds like she has some serious personality problems to me.
On the other side of things, I USE to send those thanks but no thanks emails but stopped because of similar reactions. Now I just read the email, look at the profile and delete them if I feel we aren't a match. | |
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| How do YOU handle rejection?
Posted: 10/22/2006 1:32:27 PM | If you have been responded to....politely I hope....that 'we' just is not going to be... be mature about and and say thanks! It is not a rejection, but saving you time and effort and maybe money....
If you have politely told someone 'we' are not going to be....give thanks to POF for the block feature. | |
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| How do YOU handle rejection?
Posted: 10/22/2006 1:36:05 PM | | The earlier/sooner you reject someone, the less explanation is necessary. You really didn't owe the woman anything but a quick note, if that. Obviously things change after you've had some communication or met each other... | |
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Smjle
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Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 40 | |
| How do YOU handle rejection?
Posted: 10/22/2006 1:58:54 PM | | I would say, "Well just be happy to learn early on that I'm just a S.O.B. and you wouldn't date me if I begged you." | |
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| How do YOU handle rejection?
Posted: 10/22/2006 5:11:00 PM | I handle rejection very well: They ask: I say No...thank you...good bye!
See? easy! LOL!
mmmmhhh...maybe I should put on a sign:
"Trespassors will be shot, survivors will be shot again."
Anyway, I whould never want to be a member of a club who let someone like me in.... | |
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| How do YOU handle rejection?
Posted: 10/22/2006 5:40:32 PM | Rejection isn't easy for anyone, however her self esteem must have been very low to begin with if she couldn't handle a simple "I don't think we click" message. If there were no previous contacts with this person, personally she should have left well enough alone and not acted like a spoiled brat about it. My way of handling rejection is to keep a smile on my face and know if God's will is for me to be with a particular person it will happen, if it is not meant to be, it will not. Smile and don't sweat the small stuff. It's not worth it.  | |
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| How do YOU handle rejection?
Posted: 10/23/2006 11:37:30 AM | I just accept I'm not for everybody and that attraction isn't a matter of choice..I have rejected myself and it's only fair i get it in return:)..
I'm also not in favor of being explained the exact reasons to why I've been rejected, it has the minimum of importance at that point ..it's their own business ,their gain or their loss, you never know:)
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| How do YOU handle rejection?
Posted: 10/23/2006 11:52:33 AM | A lot of these posts say things like "We met and it went well." YOU don't know how it went for the other person. I have sat through MANY first meetings with a plastic smile on my face knowing that the only way I would ever speak to this woman again is if she was indeed the dispatcher at the fire department and my house was burning. Someone refraining from telling you that there is no interest does NOT mean it "went well".
Far too many people think you throw any man and any woman together and call them a couple and they live happily ever after in their cottage at the seashore and 2.3 children. That's not real life.
A little reality check here. Not being someoen's cup of tea is NOT being rejected. Lighten up. Everybody isn't compatible with everybody else.
And there's the ever popular:
Your loss, dude!
No it isn't. He doesn't want you. What did HE lose?
I love the way people rationalize things away when it hurts them.
Yeah I didn't want those grapes anyway. They were way up high on the vine, probably sour... you keep your old grapes....
Believe me. It is NEVER my loss...... | |
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| How do YOU handle rejection?
Posted: 10/23/2006 5:37:17 PM | | dont make me laugh! i've seen better lookin fookin toilet seats then some a these ugly b4stards! we;re chattin fukc off some a jamaca's finest ( full on bag ed's) the amount a drugg's on ere all after one thing! they can all be rejected as far as i'm concerned fcukcin desperate asssssssssss! i wouldnt reply to some one like that neitehr !! xc | |
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| How do YOU handle rejection?
Posted: 10/23/2006 5:57:41 PM | Verisimilidude,
I realy think you handled that perfectly, you are one of the fiew guys who ve got the guts to be honest and not leading women on.
Unfortunately she is a wingnut and Im glad you blocked her.
I had a guy rejecting me on here because I had my picture raiting on on one of my pictures by mistake..
I thanked him to point it out to me and I took the rating off, but obviousely he thought I lied to him so he would be interested in me, and got rude writing stuff on his profile regarding the situation like..oh yeah if you lie about having your picture rated and still insist on it..you better move on by..
I wrote him an e-mail how immature I think he is and for me to see something like that on a profile would realy not invite me to contact or even respod to this person and I left it at that.
It bugged me that he didnt believe me and that he was rude about it, because I am a very honest person and I cant stand if somebody belives Im lying.
But I was thankful that I didnt waste time meeting him or who knows what.
I had a guy calling me a c--t because he wanted sex from me and I told him that If he is looking for a hot cougar he has to move to the next one because I am not into that..He was in his mid 20s.
If I dont get mail back from someone I wrote or put on my fave list..I wont bugg him..even if at first he was interested in meeting and then I dont hear back.
Its not worth it to get upset, there are so many fishies in the sea and I have enouch selfesteem to see that it is his loss and my gain lol.
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| How do YOU handle rejection?
Posted: 10/23/2006 6:35:23 PM | I'm still trying to comprehend your first sentence. You mean that actually happens? LOL
I used to get somewhat annoyed at all of the letters that I sent to which I never received a reply. The first 100 or so were the hardest. After that the rejection feeling just sort of goes away..... | |
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| How do YOU handle rejection?
Posted: 10/23/2006 7:35:26 PM | For the ones that reply, I offer the same courtesy I got from them.... something like "Thanks for taking the time to have a look and to write back, best of luck in your search too ... happy fishing"
If it's read/deleted or unread deleted ... shrug my shoulders and delete the message sent, move on.
If it makes the 30 days just as read, then deleted in the system ... wonder why the heck they don't just delete it if they dont plan on replying and not worry about it.
Realistic view on this, you'll miss more than you hit. I'm here to meet new people, not win a popularity contest. Some people handle rejection better than others. | |
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