| How do YOU handle rejection?
Posted: 11/8/2006 5:16:03 PM |
I immediately got an angry reply asking me "what was my problem"? Then she insisted that I tell her specifically what it was about her that made me think we were not a match. Egad, that's exactly what a guy did to me recently! In the case of someone who just won't accept it gracefully, blocking is the only wise action.
You were very polite to acknowledge her initial greeting, even though she wasn't your cuppa. I try to do that as well, because someone took the time to single me out and compliment me (this refers to messages that are personalized, rather than 'form-letter', one-size-fits-all, cut/paste. I just ignore those).
When I'm rejected, I have learned to simply move on. Getting annoyed about someone I don't even know is pointless. I used to take issue with it, but got over that... life's much more interesting when I let it surprise me anyway. Just because one door or another isn't open for me is no reflection on who I am or what I can offer. I could waste lots of time staring angrily at a door that doesn't have my name on it, but then I miss the ones that do...
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| How do YOU handle rejection?
Posted: 11/8/2006 5:45:31 PM | Gracefully. It has happened to me before, and since I do reply to all of my emails, I simply say Thank You, and that's that.  | |
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| How do YOU handle rejection?
Posted: 11/9/2006 8:17:29 AM | Hey, all:
Geez, some people are just sensitive to rejection, that's all.
There is no need, and in fact there is no value in being self-righteous, condescending, or demeaning to those who are sensitive.
Maybe the person thought the 2 of you had a lot in common--maybe it took a lot of courage to contact you--maybe they are lonely--maybe they have gone through some sort of splitup--maybe they have a lot to offer but have difficulty articulating it--maybe there are a million and one reasons why.
The lack of any kind of sympathy or empathy is sadly evident in many of the comments here. How about a little bit of walking in another's shoes? Is this a community, or a bunch of selfish, self-absorbed, shallow people who themselves have nothing to offer beyond their own superficiality?
David
Messages done with sustainable energy, with Wind and Sun! | |
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| How do YOU handle rejection?
Posted: 11/9/2006 8:30:08 AM |
How about a little bit of walking in another's shoes?
That is exactly what I was telling my friend yesterday. And it had nothing to do with rejection. Only to open someone's eyes, who does live in a superfast lane, that people around are not stones but human beings with feelings.
Rejection should be handled respectfully and with tact as the next time ... it could be you. | |
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| How do YOU handle rejection?
Posted: 11/9/2006 8:50:55 AM | Honestly I don't understand why people, when being told to go away, suddenly make it their vision quest to "win them back". Many times this goes on just for the challenge and it's people that don't even particularly care for!
Frank Zappa said it best.
Broken hearts are for a$$holes.....
I live in a relatively small city of 255,000 or so. If I count Cleveland, it's around 1 million. That's a lot of women in the pool. There has to be at least ONE who I could get along with.
Although.....  | |
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| How do YOU handle rejection?
Posted: 11/9/2006 9:05:09 AM | | if someone doesnt want to talk to me any more , they just dont write back to me and thats that ...I think thats rude but what can ya do? | |
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| How do YOU handle rejection?
Posted: 11/9/2006 9:08:44 AM | | Well from the personals getting rejected from a woman (in my case) just means never getting a response which is 99% of the time anyway. There is nothing to handle. Getting a response is usually acceptance. I wrote a woman lately and even asked her to let me know if she wasn't interested. I didn't even get that courtesy. | |
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| How do YOU handle rejection?
Posted: 11/9/2006 9:03:36 PM | | i share your sentiments sotexman, many people on here are insensitive to others. in fact some can be downright mean. i am sensitive and i try to surround myself w/ nice people. i can't stand arrogance or people who try to walk all over you. | |
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| How do YOU handle rejection?
Posted: 11/9/2006 10:20:23 PM | I look at it just like the name of this site ...POF ... if one person doesn't like something about me then I move on .. I find it nice if someone responds. For the good or the bad ... Come on who doesn't like to get an email ??
But if the person is ploite, classy, and respectful in thier declining ... How can you really be mad?? If you don't get a response well that is about the same ... it is just the mystery that bugs most people I think.
As for the hate mail thing ... I have no time for it and never allow it to happen to me ... the first time I got it I blocked the person right away. Why deal with them if they are going to insult me? I wouldn't do it in real life so why would I here?
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| How do YOU handle rejection?
Posted: 11/9/2006 10:34:42 PM | | I think the best thing you should have done was not respond to her email, if you were not interested in her. | |
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| How do YOU handle rejection?
Posted: 11/10/2006 3:55:45 PM |
I think the best thing you should have done was not respond to her email, if you were not interested in her. Some people would rather be acknowledged, tho', because it may take a bit of courage to send the greeting in the first place. At least being sure the other person received it, whether or not it was a mutual interest, answers the question.
If, however, I send 'thanks, I wish you all the best even if I don't think we're right for each other' .. and I get anger in return, I block them.
Simple. I don't owe them a reason.
Anyway, how was the OP to know this particular woman would fly off the handle like that? | |
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| How do YOU handle rejection?
Posted: 11/10/2006 4:01:38 PM | crawl under the covers and cry like a baby
oh you mant email rejection?
i just think...plenty more where that came from
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| How do YOU handle rejection?
Posted: 11/10/2006 4:23:18 PM | >But it's typically different for women. We tend to be on the receiving end of contacts. I can't remember ever actually emailing someone to make first contact.<
I think you've answered my questions, Ophelia. I've never had an approach made to me but most of the dozen or more I've contacted from the matches list disappear within a few exchanges - if they even reply. Haha - is it because men want to be the hunters and not the hunted perhaps? And this was only for talk/email, I didn't want their bodies. (Or is that the problem?)
I've made some wonderful friends with shared interests through the forums and see many postings saying the same thing. Something for everyone at the Pond, but you have to know where to look. H | |
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| How do YOU handle rejection?
Posted: 11/17/2006 4:34:49 PM | His loss...Next..
To many single people out there would love to date a woman like me.
People have preferences, if i'm not there type, i'm not there type.
It's as simple as that | |
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| How do YOU handle rejection?
Posted: 11/17/2006 5:21:09 PM | | ~ It probably wouldn't bother me becuase I am not desperate to want someone. Actually I should re-phrase that, I don't fear rejection...if it were years ago (??) ~ I would be hurt & sad ...ha ha. ~ | |
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| How do YOU handle rejection?
Posted: 11/17/2006 5:27:06 PM |
To me, if someone is classy enough to take the time to reply in a civil manner, I'm grateful. I'm aware that I'm not everyone's cup of tea. I usually respond by saying thanks and wish them good luck.
I handle this by always considering first the person that emailed me. There is this sweet advantage to on line dating. You can just delete it. But sometimes the really nice person emails you and says there interested but for one reason or another they don't float your boat in that way. Those emails I usually reply (but not always) to tell them thank you for reading my profile but didn't think we were a match. Most of the time it works out fine. If they are being a jerk about it, the best way to deal with it in my opinion is to not respond to it. | |
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Ama-mo
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Joined: 3/23/2006
Msg: 95 | |
| How do YOU handle rejection?
Posted: 11/18/2006 5:02:37 AM | Wow...at least you know who to stay away from!
I think that was a very nice/classy thing you did by emailing to say you weren't interested. The common method seems to be just not returning anything. This is what I've chosen to do after all. Much for much the same reason. After a couple of return emails I sent saying thank you very much, but... I have recieved nasty replies or else a barrage of further emails from that person chatting about nothing in particular. I've been very clear, but nice in my emails so I'm not sure what was mis-interpreted along the way. I'm also finding that to be the most successful way of saying, "thanks, but no thanks". May not be the politest way, but it has avoided bizarre replies.
When someone doesn't return my email, I just figure, oh well, I'm no worse off...move on now. I'm going to assume that this is what most people figure. | |
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| How do YOU handle rejection?
Posted: 11/18/2006 11:55:04 AM | I shrug it off. It's tough, though. I'm not very good at it.
For instance, I had been talking to someone for a few days who seemed interested but really wasn't telling me too much about herself while encouraging us to meet. I'd initially agreed to meet because I was also interested, but had a bad feeling afterwards about agreeing to meet so soon and said so, calling off meeting. She explained her situation and told me that she wanted to keep talking with me, so I emailed her back thanking her for explaining and gave her another option for us to talk, other than meeting right away. It was my way of trying to find a compromise between my wanting to slow down and her wanting more than just emails back and forth, and I said so.
She immediately changed her user id and profile. Oh well.
So, I deleted her from my favourites and took myself off of her favourites list, and then I blocked her to delete our correspondence at either end. It stung, but no point dwelling on it any further than with the few lines in this post.
ce la vie | |
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| How do YOU handle rejection?
Posted: 11/18/2006 7:05:21 PM |
Dammit! Why can't I ever get a creepy stalker chick?
Cute.....I will take 2 or 3 if you dont mind....I got plenty of room in the back yard if the annoy me too much or aren't that good in bed.....hehe | |
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| How do YOU handle rejection?
Posted: 11/18/2006 8:19:04 PM | If they don't reply to my initial email within a week or two, I delete the outbound message and move on. I think I've actually only received one rejection reply and I responded with thanks anyway for being polite enough to respond, and good luck fishing. He replied again and seemed pleased that I took it well and complimented him for responding to my email at all. Maybe in the future he'll run across my profile and make contact. People change their minds and I would hate to burn my bridges because some guy wasn't into me on the first go round.
If you're just trying to talk to someone and they don't want to exchange emails, then compare yourself to the talkative guy on that long airline flight. Would you want him sitting next to you when you've made it obvious that you don't want to converse with him on the flight? Let it go... | |
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| How do YOU handle rejection?
Posted: 11/19/2006 5:28:35 AM | I don't really care.
You don't know the person so it's not a big deal.
Why get angry when someone isn't attracted to you?
Many others are.
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| How do YOU handle rejection?
Posted: 11/19/2006 5:51:52 AM | | Just like I always say, women can't handle the truth. Personally, I just brush it off of my shoulders and keep it movin'....no big deal. If she's not for me, then she's not for me...NEXT! | |
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