| Is Anyone Seriously Looking 2 Meet & Date On Here...?
Posted: 2/19/2007 2:36:58 PM | Sunflower: Try putting some interests in because they are tied into the main search engine(thats why they turn blue, other have listed the same interests)
For example I go and search for female artists from time to time because I'm an artist
It doesn't look as though you've been on here long but from the votes you've gotten and what my eyes see, the interest is more than positive. Maybe a couple of more pics showing you in action at some activity you enjoy.
It doesn't happen overnight | |
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| Is Anyone Seriously Looking 2 Meet & Date On Here...?
Posted: 2/19/2007 3:07:38 PM | I too am a little disappointed in the response or lack of response on this, as well as other sites.
I guess,once again, I believed the words that I was reading, indicating that the men here were truly interested in long-term relationships. The words haven't matched the few brief e-mails that I've received. I'm sure there are many honest men who truly want to find love, but please explain to me what exactly it is that you're looking for if an attractive,independant,self sufficient,intelligent and funny woman isn't it, because that's what I am and I'm having no luck at all.
I spent one afternoon sending numerous e-mails just to say hello and comment on different aspects of the profile. It was nothing major, just showing an interest in something that the member mentioned as a hobby or interest,etc..
I sent approximately30 e-mails. I received 1 response.
I know that I have a great deal to offer someone in a relationship. It just doesn't seem like I'm going to find it here.
AJ | |
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| Is Anyone Seriously Looking 2 Meet & Date On Here...?
Posted: 2/19/2007 3:19:29 PM | 1st off your doing alot better then I have (sunflower) considering you been here
what?? all but 5 days?? lol took me months to make 17 favorites
My best friend joined yesterday and is on 15 favorites already! lol
Another friend joined 2 months ago says nothing about himself other then
he likes to have FUN?? no pic even??? he's on 16 favorites??
<div class='quote'>I spent one afternoon sending numerous e-mails just to say hello and comment on different aspects of the profile. It was nothing major, just showing an interest in something that the member mentioned as a hobby or interest,etc...
I sent approximately30 e-mails. I received 1 response
Exactly what I'am going thru....!!
It's like what gives....? maybe ppl don't like my profile or find me not attractive...??
My best friend tells me it networking yourself could this be it.....???? | |
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| Does This Seem More Of A Friend Site, Then A Dating Site 2 U...?
Posted: 2/19/2007 5:29:01 PM | I agree SteelerFan!
Meeting someone in one evening at a bar doesn't really give you a good idea of the person's integrity and values. You can learn a lot about a person while emailing a few times, or when they post on the threads.
Hmmm.....wait a minute! maybe that explains....never mind. | |
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| Does This Seem More Of A Friend Site, Then A Dating Site 2 U...?
Posted: 2/19/2007 5:38:46 PM | | I actually find that it has ups and downs. I would go for a dry spell, then have tons of emails, then slack off again, then swing up again. I try to keep it from getting me down by posting here. These threads have been more interesting that some of the guys I've communicated with! | |
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| Does This Seem More Of A Friend Site, Then A Dating Site 2 U...?
Posted: 2/19/2007 7:01:17 PM | This is getting really depressing in here.. what's going on girls, you both have so much going on for you .. Can we pick this up a bit.. I think you both are really creame' of the crop here.. they don't know what they are missing..!!
Clubs are too dark any more..1) I haven't been in one for awhile..because of this..2) the scare the heck out of me..3)and I am afraid of what will be in my drink...
How classy was that HH, with the cell phoneline.??
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| Does This Seem More Of A Friend Site, Then A Dating Site 2 U...?
Posted: 2/19/2007 9:31:05 PM | optimismnlaughter... we don't mean to be depressing! but then maybe we do..? 
Some of us are just trying to figure out what the hell do ppl want on here...?
You see them chking your profiles which I understand most the time means nothing!
Then you chk theirs and think Hmmmm things in common...!
So then you send them just a friendly email, maybe just stating you like making friends,
and Bamm....they read an delete you w/ out a sec thought..?
I reply to every email I receive out of common curtisy.!
One attractive Lady posted earlier she sent 30 emails in one day and got 1 reply!
What gives.... guess some of us would like to know..?? | |
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| Does This Seem More Of A Friend Site, Then A Dating Site 2 U...?
Posted: 2/19/2007 10:37:18 PM | | It' s a combination of serious lack of manners and self absorbed rudeness. Throw in a deep rooted insecurity and you get a recipe for arrogance that these people do not feel that you are worthy of their time to respond. It's like an anonymous sense of power. | |
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| Does This Seem More Of A Friend Site, Then A Dating Site 2 U...?
Posted: 2/20/2007 3:02:19 AM | yes... Like ppl here both male and female seem to think they are better than others... HELLLOOOOOOOO were all on a dateing site!!!! I answer each email If someone has taken a few mins to look at my profile and type me a email the least I can do is take a few mins to send one back. Im kinda at the point now I have just given up and am just here for the friends I have made here in the forums. | |
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| Does This Seem More Of A Friend Site, Then A Dating Site 2 U...?
Posted: 2/20/2007 4:23:27 AM | It is a double edged sword Healing, I have responded to be courteous and they took it as an indication of interest, when all I did was thank them for their email. And that was not my intent to express interest where none was. In turn, I realize that I also get some email response back as a curtesy only.
I am not sure what the "proper protocol" is for this internet thing, when we don't respond, we are considered one thing, when we do respond and the intent is nothing more than a thank you, then we deal with other issues. Good communication is the only key. And when I am honest, I was baraged with insults because of it. Such as why did you even bother responding if no interest, etc.
So, I just go with the flow. I have met a few here. But I don't consider things a "date" until we get to actually meeting and then deciding if a date is something we would like to arrange.
I keep my expectations low, then everything else is just a pleasant surprise if it works out. | |
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| Is Anyone Seriously Looking 2 Meet & Date On Here...?
Posted: 2/20/2007 4:56:02 AM | | i can say since i been on this site i only meant a woman on here once and she was totally different then wat she said she was and turthfully i keep changin my sherch cuz im tryin look for a decent gurl to settle down with im tired of runnin around playin pin the donkey crap yea i know a 24 yr old male sayin this and u have a whole life ahead of u but some ppl like to have there lives early before growin to old me if this site doesnt work in the next year then other sites are not as great either but i put as talk /email but im really looking for long term not that much luck with me never had much luck | |
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| Does This Seem More Of A Friend Site, Then A Dating Site 2 U...?
Posted: 2/20/2007 5:16:49 AM | [I keep my expectations low, then everything else is just a pleasant surprise if it works out.]
Very insightful, lynng_61. I agree wholeheartedly.
I believe that if one goes into this 'cyber matching' with an agenda, it shows through. Reading between the lines, tone of voice and demeanor on the phone all indicate your level of expectation. Perception of hose unrealistic expectations can send people running faster than one can imagine.
Don't get invested in any one person so soon. Above all be honest. Eventually that ever elusive 'chemistry' will hit you between the eyes when you are least expecting it. It's not something one can 'mine' or even develop if it isn't there. However, you'll know it when it is.
To be crass, this process is a numbers game. Yes, there is a bit of a culling out process through the profiles but if you don;t communicate, you will definitly not match. Onmy part I have met several very interesting folks here. Not love matches but people that have enriched my on some level. I have spoken religion, cooking and dive restaurants with many. Recently found a great little hole in the wall restaurant as a result of a conversation. For these I find POF a great resource. Maybe someone will knock me off my feet but until then I will enjoy talking to evdryone.
See you inthe spring at Valley Forge Park! | |
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| Does This Seem More Of A Friend Site, Then A Dating Site 2 U...?
Posted: 2/20/2007 12:36:30 PM | | THanks for putting things so intelligently Gardnguy! It seems that when we get ourself to the point of HAVING to meet someone for a relationship, there's a kind of desperation (for lack of a better word) that shows through. When things are left to happen in their own time, it's better in the long run. THis form of meeting people allows you to get to know someone a tad before meeting in the comfort of your own surroundings. We learn more about each other and people in general as we banter in these threads. For the record, Gardnguy and I met for a pleasant brunch a few weeks ago. I felt that the conversation was quite interesting, but it didn't go beyond that. Things were handled very maturely and both parties went separate ways, with no hurt feelings. I highly recommend him as a gentleman and an intersting converstionalist. A class act guy! | |
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| Is Anyone Seriously Looking 2 Meet & Date On Here...?
Posted: 2/20/2007 3:45:15 PM | I joined the site specifically to meet and date someone. I have met several men from this site over the past several months and am now dating someone I consider to be very special. I think it just takes some time to meet someone you click with.
Don't give up hope, hang in there and it will happen. In the meantime, enjoy the friendships you have made along the way. | |
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| Is Anyone Seriously Looking 2 Meet & Date On Here...?
Posted: 2/20/2007 8:31:29 PM | | I definitely use to be one of those sign up and expect results right away kind of guys...now i just takes it as it is what it is. I much rather prefer being patient and looking for Miss Right on this site then A) Forking over money to other websites for members the arent fully signed up and cant respond to me or B) Bar hopping, which to me when your out at the club or bar, you probably arent being the person you would normally be the other 6 days of the week. Someone said earlier to that they set their expectations low, and I kind of agree, I am not gonna jump on and check my inbox every twenty minutes waiting for a response...if it is meant to happen then it will work itself out | |
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| Is Anyone Seriously Looking 2 Meet & Date On Here...?
Posted: 2/27/2007 8:26:37 PM | okay, after having some thinking time, i decided that when i'm ready, if i find the right man that accepts me as a friend through the good and the bad then maybe we would date as well. now, just because i said the date word, that doesn't mean hop right in the sack. things have to be with mutual feelings for each other. | |
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| Is Anyone Seriously Looking 2 Meet & Date On Here...?
Posted: 2/28/2007 1:32:38 AM | Dating is such a subjective term. In most peoples minds (namely men) Dating means screwing. In everyone elses mind Dating means discovering what the other person is about.
To me, that process of discovering what someone else is about, usually is the beginning of a friendship. Some of the friendships become close friendships and some develop into romantic relationships.
The confusion starts when a persons idea of dating, conflicts with the intent and purpose of a dating website. For instance, a dating website like this one, is heavily focused on pictures and profiles (the one shot). Which makes the very nature of a dating website based on physical attraction and visual orientation first and foremost. This caters to one kind of mind, the one focused on sex and nothing more.
To solidify this sex only kind of thinking, the rules suport the sex only thinking and discourage the discovery process of who the other person is, for example this rule "B) No Threads, Posts or Messages for the purpose of Chatting will be permitted on the *Forum. All Threads MUST have a Topic." and this one: "Forum Spam:...could also be obnoxious Posts, such as *Bumping a Thread*, Chatting, Smilies "only" on an ongoing continuous Basis, connection with Surveys, Contests, Pyramid Schemes, Chain Letters, Junk E-mail, Public Notices, or even large Quantities of Off Topic Replies.
So the forums, which otherwise would be a great place to get to know other people apparently is NOT a place to chat. Not a place to exchange dialogue. Which is what we are all doing here anyway. So I guess the dating website is just a place to post pictures and make "statements ONLY" in the forums. If you make anything other than a statement (i.e. ask a question to elicit a response/feedback from others) then (at least in the world I live in) it's called a conversation...chatting.
It seems to me that the people that created this dating website and the rules that go with it, have a particular idea about what dating is, sex oriented. This doesn't make POF Unique, it just makes it hard for people to get to know each other based on anything other than physical attraction (or suffer being in violation of the rules).
The short and skinny of POF is to find a picture of someone you find attractive, and as quickly as possible, start a dialogue/conversation/chat off site as soon as possible.
Seems to me, the whole concept here is to post a picture, and state your random opinions about things, all while trying to avoid chatting. So Rose, how serious can anyone be to look for someone to meet or date on here? | |
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| Is Anyone Seriously Looking 2 Meet & Date On Here...?
Posted: 2/28/2007 6:12:41 AM | [Makes it hard for people to get to know each other based on anything other than physical attraction (or suffer being in violation of the rules). ]
Amen to that IROCKET -
I tell people yes I have met someone here he is great and I have all these mixed
emotions about him and they say - " well you cannot feel anything for someone
until you meet them face to face " yeah okay leatherheart - I think when you are
talking to them they are showing and telling you who they really are - maybe they
cannot express themselves so well thru body language but in speech they thrive -
and maybe I am just the kind of person who can be attracted by the sound of thier
voice and how they express themselves to me - just a thought -
I can say that if I were blind I would have to rely on that sense so
I see this as no different - I cannot see them - but I am falling for them - JMO- | |
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