| | Can you have male friends?Page 8 of 17 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17) | | In Western countries its alot easier for women to have male friends. On the other hand, in countries where the Macho male egel dominates is alot harder to have male friends. In those countries if a man says he female friends, he would be call Gay by his male peers. | |
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| Can you have male friends?
Posted: 11/18/2006 1:05:44 PM | | When I was younger, I found it easier to be friends with guys. I'll admit, as I've gotten older, I guess I'm a little jaded because I find it almost impossible to be friends with males, especially if your in a relationship. I always find lately, that the friendship starts off innocently enough, however, at some point some hidden agenda pops up. I haven't given up though. | |
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wurl
| | Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 178 | |
| Can you have male friends?
Posted: 11/18/2006 3:53:28 PM | Sure I'll telll you that it's ok for you to have male friends, if it might get me laid. That is the way it works. then your husband will have to raise my kids if and when you get pregnant? Sorry for sounding crude. but I assume you get my point. It's not like it doesen't happen. I for one do not want to provide for anyone elses kids.
anyway, this is exactly the concern men have unconciously imprinted as an instinct and the reality bears it out enourmously.
What you decide is actually morally acceptable is up to you. I do date women that have lots of male friends, but I wouldn't take them seriously. Most guys won't tell you this because it will reduce the likelyhood of getting in your pants. lol
Meanwhile, the women whom tell you it's ok, are likely either single or haven't had any very long term successfull relationships.
anyway, .... that's my 2 cents | |
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| Can you have male friends?
Posted: 11/18/2006 4:08:11 PM | I would LOVE a gay male friend. Especially if he was into ballroom dancing. I had a gay hairdresser once who would chat away about all his relationships and really he was having identical problems to mine so it was helpful to share.
I like the concept of platonic friendship but I've never had much luck with it. And excuse me if I step on anyone's toes but I do think that a woman who has all or mostly all male friends, especially a reasonably attractive woman, is getting a lot of ego gratification - what a power trip. She probably doesn't have to pay for handyman jobs around her house either. And if she has a boyfriend, she can enjoy making him jealous. In theory it's just fine but in practice it's very rare for that to work. My 2 cents. | |
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wurl
| | Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 180 | |
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| Can you have male friends?
Posted: 11/18/2006 4:22:23 PM | Of course you can have a number of male friends. I have several of them. That is normal and natural isn't it? Guys are people too. LOL!   | |
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| Can you have male friends?
Posted: 11/22/2006 10:14:44 AM | Why cant you have male friends. I have female friends and I'm not going to stop being friends with them because of another women. You should not let another person change who you are becuase he is now in the picture cause then you arent you anymore. If they dont understand do you really want to be with a man that tries to go agains what you want. | |
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| Can you have male friends?
Posted: 11/22/2006 11:47:17 AM | I was hoping through friendship that it could be something like networking...you know they introduce you to their friends.....cause you are friends with them for a reason....right...like attracted to their life style etc etc.
So by hanging out with them and doing stuff with them ( and you like them)....it benefits both of you!!!
I wish men could understand that concept.....my gay friends do.
There are some men I will never be attracted to physically for my own reason, nothing to do with them....and why cant they be just friends with me especially since we get along etc etc.....I have yet to find a man who wants to be my friend that way.....they always seem to get put off after awhile and get pissed that I dont suddenly become turned on by them.
Thats how you meet other people through friends....and its not usually through the same gender lmao.
I try to make friends with men for that reason....its fun...you can meet others and then there is that great platonic friendship that you can have for years...
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| Can you have male friends?
Posted: 11/22/2006 12:52:52 PM | I would LOVE a gay male friend. Especially if he was into ballroom dancing. I had a gay hairdresser once who would chat away about all his relationships and really he was having identical problems to mine so it was helpful to share.
We call those women FAG HAGS down here in Australia | |
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| Can you have male friends?
Posted: 11/22/2006 12:56:35 PM | | I can have male friends and control myself...but can a guy control himself with female friends? Not likely... | |
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| Can you have male friends?
Posted: 11/22/2006 2:06:54 PM | but can a guy control himself with female friends? Not likely...
Nothing like a little misandry. While it may not happen as often, women fall into the trap of sleeping with their male friends all the time; meaning, the girl initiates it. But it sure is fun (and easy) to just point fingers at guys.  | |
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| Can you have male friends?
Posted: 11/22/2006 3:37:52 PM | LOL Bookworm....I wouldnt say it was all men either....Im guilty as well and can admit it.....but when you just want friends and thats it and there is no attraction physically what so ever and the boundaries are set....why oh why cant some men do it, instead fo thinking if a woman asks them to go to a concert for instance ,it isnt more then that being friends enjoying the concert RIGHT?..... see most WOMEN can do it...... | |
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| Can you have male friends?
Posted: 11/22/2006 3:47:19 PM | That's a good question, ladybug. It's true that there are a lot of guys who can be.... annoyingly persistent. For some guys (older), it could possibly be a generational thing; it used to be expected that a guy would have to pursue a woman, who would put him off. I've heard stories of men persisting to chase female coworkers after she declined repeatedly, to a degree that would be cut-and-dried sexual harassment today. Ironically, some of the people telling those stories eventually got happily married... go figure. I suspect that happy endings like that were fairly rare, but that's pretty much a guess on my part.
For some guys, their egos won't allow them to entertain the possibility that a girl isn't interested in them. They figure that if she spends enough time with him, she'll eventually "get it" (oh, the irony). It does happen, but I'm sure not often enough to please those guys that try it. | |
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| Can you have male friends?
Posted: 11/22/2006 4:57:22 PM | Good lord, you men simply presume if we have male friends, we must be (a) sleeping with them or (b) ready to sleep with them at the drop of a hat!
'Roo, what is the BS attitude? If we have a friend who may be gay, what the HELL does their sexual orientation have to do with our friendship? Zero. They have no interest in me other than as a friend, nor do I have any with them, other than friendship.
With my male friends, they know better than to institute a sexual relationship. Had I wished to have one with them, my relationship would not be platonic, from the outset.
I have never had a friendship with a man and decided he would be a jolly sexual fling.
For those men who cannot have platonic friendships with women because of their raging testosterone-fueled insecurities, please do not presume to speak for women on their ability to have platonic relationships with men. There are indeed men who can and do have healthy platonic friendships with women. Too bad. Your ability to trust, honor and respect your wife or girlfriend, very necessary attributes to establish a solid long-term partnership with a woman, will be severely hampered by your lack of emotional maturity. | |
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| Can you have male friends?
Posted: 11/22/2006 6:11:34 PM | alright...quite honestly are we not supposed to start out as friends first...in order to have a true healthy relationship?
A friend of mine had a really cool friend that she introduced me to...well he wasnt into me...it was obvious to me that he was with her....but not to her.
Two years later she tells me they are in love and are getting married...and she told me it was the best, cause she knew him through a great friendship first.
Man or man...what is so ****ing wrong with me that men cant do that at first.....instead of always wanting to get me in the sack quickly....and then if I set boundaries...they get pissed....
Do I look like a woman who is only sexual and nothing more.....damn it...Im educated...great at my job...a great Mom etc etc...someone tell me wtf Im doing wrong...
I always even in this dating site...initial friendship first...and is it not possible to have men interested in me to do things with and...a pal..etc. I know I am repeating myself but I asked a male friend to accompany me to a concert...why not..he asked me to a hockey game...why not reciprocate.....I told him from the beginning...Im so happy that you are a friend etc etc.
He hit on me several times that night and I had to repeat myself where I got to the point that I mentioned my ex and he said "you know your talking about your ex again". I literally had to because I had to remind him..I just got out of things and didnt want anything romantic in my life yet. He knew this...I was crying on the phone for days with him.
Thats why I adore my Gay best friend....we have great fun and he so respects me...fact is he doesnt have anyone to introduce me to LMAO. Really whats wrong with networking....people introduce people. Having male friends help find the one....female friends sorry to say usually introduce you to someone they dont want...and if you are their friend...you know friends relect each other..why would I like them LMAO....then the relatives introduce you to well............ummm lets not get into that. Most male friends if you like them as friends are sure to have friends they can introduce you to etc...am I confusing phew!!!! pardon me....life is so complicated....beginning to wonder if its worth it sometimes...
Sombient I did reply to your last email...not sure what happened but I am truly grateful for the comfort and honesty you gave me and always will be!!! thank you! | |
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| Can you have male friends?
Posted: 11/22/2006 6:23:25 PM | | I would have to agree it does sometimes seem like a one way street. Women can be just as jealous as men when it comes to this. The reason I have lost a lot of female friends over the years. | |
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| Can you have male friends?
Posted: 11/23/2006 4:54:41 AM | | I have a great male friend that I ride motorcycles with for over six years; but truth is I know if given a sign the ralationship would change if I wanted it to. I do not feel that way about him. I have problems with my boy friends as yes they do get a little jealous with me being on the back of a bike with someone else quite a bit. I learned to ride myself so I could bring this problem to a close. Truth is I would not want my boy friend hauling around another lady all the time or even some of the time. Call it jealous if you like; I call it just plain smart. At this point in my life, I have seen how people can take a friendship and turn it around after a few drinks or just plain loneliness, cause conflict to other relationships and then move on as it was only a time in their life they were reaching out for someone to make them feel special or not alone. As the song says "she has a lot of pretty pretty boys that she calls friends". However, I will not give up my friend, but I will not let him come between me and my man. | |
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| Can you have male friends?
Posted: 11/23/2006 7:48:00 AM |
Meanwhile, the women whom tell you it's ok, are likely either single or haven't had any very long term successfull relationships.
First off you couldn't be more wrong...Secondly you obviously lack the ability to be a true friend to a woman because you believe women are here to be used for your pleasure. Thank God not all men think like you. | |
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| Can you have male friends?
Posted: 11/23/2006 7:57:41 AM |
I like the concept of platonic friendship but I've never had much luck with it. And excuse me if I step on anyone's toes but I do think that a woman who has all or mostly all male friends, especially a reasonably attractive woman, is getting a lot of ego gratification - what a power trip. She probably doesn't have to pay for handyman jobs around her house either. And if she has a boyfriend, she can enjoy making him jealous. In theory it's just fine but in practice it's very rare for that to work. My 2 cents.
What are you trying to do here...set women back a few decades. Maybe platonic male friendships didn't work for you because you behaved like the women you described. | |
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| Can you have male friends?
Posted: 11/23/2006 8:02:27 AM |
Why cant you have male friends. I have female friends and I'm not going to stop being friends with them because of another women. You should not let another person change who you are becuase he is now in the picture cause then you arent you anymore. If they dont understand do you really want to be with a man that tries to go agains what you want.
Thanks for your post...we need more real men like you on this planet. | |
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| Can you have male friends?
Posted: 11/23/2006 8:07:02 AM | | Once again, this comes down to trust issues. Either you trust the person you're with or you don't. | |
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| Can you have male friends?
Posted: 11/23/2006 8:13:27 AM | | of course women can have male friends, i have loads, off and online, i would never let anyone come between me and my mates, lovers come and go but a true friend sticks with you through the good times and especially through the bad, my closest friend is male and we have been friends for 20 years, i value his opinion on everything as he is always honest, we have never thought about the fcuk buddy thing it would be too strange and we would probably die laughing if we attempted anything naughty | |
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| Can you have male friends?
Posted: 11/23/2006 12:30:13 PM | | Actually, I have more male friendsthan I do female friends. Reason being not that they want to get into my pants as someonesaid earlier. Its that most women are too catty and play too many games and I am strictly down to earth and say it like it is. I do have a few female friends and they are the best.!! | |
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| Can you have male friends?
Posted: 11/23/2006 12:42:00 PM | Okay
I have NO female friends so to speak and thats fine with me
and i would not be comfortable with a woman that has sooooo many male friends
based purely on past experiences | |
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| Can you have male friends?
Posted: 11/23/2006 12:44:51 PM | ^^ Wrong, mate.
You HAD no wimmin friends. Not true now. Hahahaha. Get with the program. We're the equivalent of virtual sisters. | |
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