| 80% admit to supplying false details on their profiles
Posted: 4/1/2009 2:00:07 PM |
that's why IMO the best is "to grab the bull by its horns" ... and suggest to meet. Applies especially to those ones who seem to be masters of pu s s yfoot i n g.
True colours pop out very swiftly indeed ... as to why n o t
You beat me to it!
Long email conversations "to get to know the person first" are way more dangerous than simply getting together for a coffee at a busy local mall. You are being reckless with your emotions, by letting yourself get invested in someone who very likely isn't all they appeared to be on-line.
The reality may even turn out better than the on-line persona, but by all means, progress from the "stories" to the reality, asap! | |
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| 80% admit to supplying false details on their profiles
Posted: 4/1/2009 2:15:11 PM | Your picture may be who you see......but your profile is not quite true to life, and that is the norm for most on here and other dating sites.
You certainly can not actually work at knitting with belly button lint as a job that secures you enough money to sustain yourself and your family.
You either have an education, or you do not and NA does not show true to life, as is the same with you owning or renting a car.
Can you not see that what you put down as being real and true to you, is nothing more than your interpretation at what is truth, and what is not depending on your feeling of being maybe flip, funny, private, etc.
I think all should take a profile as nothing more than a cover letter that is attached to a resume, and is postured in such a way as to entice the one reading it, to continue on and hopefully interview your for the open position.
Embellishment and humor are just two of the ways that many will get the attention of the one reading it and hopefully be willing to find out more. If we truly want 100% accuracy, the profile would have to be significantly more detailed, and written by an objective third party that maybe can see what you do not.
Just my opinion........   | |
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| 80% admit to supplying false details on their profiles
Posted: 4/1/2009 7:18:17 PM | I'll admit it-- I'm part of the 80% giving false details. I'm actually blond, seven feet tall, and currently cruising the South Pacific in my enormous luxury yacht 
I don't think it's as bad as that article led you to believe. 80% of what. . . everyone who's ever had a profile? 80% of current members? 8 out of 10 random members?
People who lie get what they give, eventually. I can't image people out there are actually like this Mr. Vincent Fourstar-- but the new depths of cruelty and selfishness some people stoop to surprise me every day. | |
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| 80% admit to supplying false details on their profiles
Posted: 5/6/2009 7:29:12 AM | I just don't get the lying thing - a guy that just contacted me says age 39 on his profile but then said he was 45. I said that's not on your profile so he said it was a mistake and he'd change it. Later he came back to me saying he'd changed it but I looked and he hadn't so I called him on it. Then he said he tried to change it but couldn't (which may have been the only honest thing he said to date). He seems surprised that I'm not rushing to get to know him better at this point!! Sheesh.  I mean how does someone say this stuff and think they won't be caught out? Do they really think it doesn't matter that they start off by lying??? | |
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| 80% admit to supplying false details on their profiles
Posted: 5/6/2009 10:49:17 AM | Hey now, I don't know what all this 80% of profiles being lies is... All I know is my profile is 100% of 3/10ths my awesome self, and the rest of the 7/10ths you got to earn...
OK I admit, I'm not really 5'6",
I'm 5' 7" because I spike my hair the rest of the way up.  | |
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| 80% admit to supplying false details on their profiles
Posted: 5/6/2009 12:17:22 PM | | Well my profile is 100% accurate. I am happy in my own skin and see no reason to lie or 'big' myself up. If you have a false profile and someone wants to get to know you for the person that you are not, then one day you will get found out. | |
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| 80% admit to supplying false details on their profiles
Posted: 5/7/2009 2:16:24 PM | | So far many have lied about their jobs. Being a student is not the same thing as already being in the career you hope to someday have. Being on unemployment is not the same as being employed. And a hobby is not the same thing as a job!! | |
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| 80% admit to supplying false details on their profiles
Posted: 7/19/2009 10:57:16 PM | SURPRISE!! SURPRISE!!!!
Now how much do you think that people who lie on their profile think about what will happen when or if they actually meet someone who has read it.
Could this be an intelligence test???? Mighty effective, I'd say. | |
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| 80% admit to supplying false details on their profiles
Posted: 7/20/2009 6:27:48 AM | Everything I put on my profile is true and, combined with my forum posts, I am pretty much an open book. Maybe being honest isn't really a good thing, obviously those who lie have much better chances of being responded to or people might view some of the things I say out of context but, reguardless, honesty and clarity are important to me.
People have a lot higher standards online though, so I could see why a lot of them would feel that they need to cheat to get anything: it works. People don't take the time to really get to know you unless you sweep them off your feet first; unless you are truly extraordinary, being yourself doesn't work. I know being honest hasn't really helped me get responses either. | |
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| 80% admit to supplying false details on their profiles
Posted: 7/20/2009 6:48:32 AM | I always try to meet as early as possible. First, to get the face-to-face experience to know if there is any point in continuing, but also to remove any questions about my honesty. The stories I have heard about lying men are amazing.
#1 response I get on meeting: "You look just like your pictures." Which tells me that is not always the case.
As to lying about height... Unless I plan to wear elevator shoes or have my legs surgically lengthened I assume "the jig is up" at the first meeting. So which is better? To be honest and say I'm 5'9" (which eliminates me immediately in the minds of many women, even those several inches shorter than me) or saying I'm 5'11" and then being found to be a liar, AND 5'9". | |
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| 80% admit to supplying false details on their profiles
Posted: 7/20/2009 7:11:01 AM |
So which is better? To be honest and say I'm 5'9" or saying I'm 5'11" and then being found to be a liar, AND 5'9".
Reminds me of the movie History of the World. Ceaser says "Bring me a small lyre!" and they bring a midget who says the check's in the mail.
On a serious note, people with things they are ashamed of, or things they are trying to hide, misrepresent themselves just to get their foot in the door so to speak. If no woman will give you the time of day if you say you are 5'9", then you might as well lie so you can at least try to get her interest. Then once you go out with her it'll already be in motion and maybe it won't be that big of a deal if she likes you for who you are. | |
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| 80% admit to supplying false details on their profiles
Posted: 7/20/2009 11:10:36 AM | I'm beginning to wonder if 80% of people on the internet don't intend to actually meet anyone. They are here for kicks!!
The real ones post recent photos, including full body ones so you can see what you are getting into ahead of time. All of the details will eventually be apparent when you meet and start dating. | |
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dlros
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Joined: 10/14/2008
Msg: 95 | |
| 80% admit to supplying false details on their profiles
Posted: 7/20/2009 12:32:00 PM | I'd say this is pretty accurate, although it has different repercussions for each of the sexes.
Women tend to lie about their age, and men about their height. Age you can get away with for awhile, but height,-boy you are really deceiving yourself, man!
I remember when I started this, I was pretty rigid and felt that any deception would be a red flag, but I've become more softer since then. When women explained the reason was not to deceive, but to be covered under searches, it seemed to make sense, and many of them actually put the correction in their profiles. The profile rules (at every site) don't let you leave something blank, which really hobbles your flexibility in portraying yourself.
Another problem with the height thing is that well, age is just a number- usually what someone is being discriminating about - is appearance and demeanor. Height, on the other hand, is an absolute... they are clearly looking for a minimal height. When they come all the way out to meet you and you are completely different that you say you are (not a "little" different, no pun intended) then to me, that's a real, overt deception.
I have a little pet peeve about weight, (IE thin, athletic, etc), I feel many women are fudging; judging from their pictures, but really, the pics are there so it's not as big a thing.
Personally, I felt the most important thing I could do to show the "real" me is to choose recent, clear, accurate pics. I took plenty of time to choose pics that reflected my personality in some way. I t's your best ally, and pics don't lie- | |
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| 80% admit to supplying false details on their profiles
Posted: 7/22/2009 4:19:38 PM |
Women tend to lie about their age,
I met a man yesterday who lied about his age on his profile. I had given him the benefit of the doubt when I saw his pic on his profile, but when I saw him in person, I thought--there is NO WAY this man is 57.
When I got home, I rechecked his profile and there, hidden among the rest of his self proclamations, was a small sentence saying, "I am really 62. I just wanted you to read my profile." The ages of the women who could contact him were up to 60.
If I had seen that earlier, I never would have met him. He contacted me today and I told him that he might want to change the lie about his age on his profile.
He was very upset that I called him a liar.
He is the 5th or 6th man I have met who lied about his age--so, no, it it isn't only women who do so.
Oh, and I think his height was wrong, too. | |
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| 80% admit to supplying false details on their profiles
Posted: 7/22/2009 5:00:37 PM | Personally, I felt the most important thing I could do to show the "real" me is to choose recent, clear, accurate pics. I took plenty of time to choose pics that reflected my personality in some way. I t's your best ally, and pics don't lie- dlros
Pics may not lie, but angles can be deceptive & I have heard/read that "the camera will add 10 pounds". So why is it that EVERY person I have met
from online has actually looked heavier than in their pics?!?
I have never knowingly been dishonest in my profile. However, when I first started dating online nearly 5 years ago, I didn't have a digital camera. I
only had 2 pictures scanned before I moved. Because I am usually the one taking the pictures in our family, there aren't very many of me. This one free
site I was on, you could only have 1 picture unless you got the paid upgrade (kind of like the 16 pics thing here). One of the pictures, you could tell
someone had been cropped out & people often asked & got highly weirded out to learn that the picture was from my last wedding reception. So I got fed
up with constantly explaining this & changed to the other photo. I was chatting with a guy from the Island before he came over for a visit. He's checking
out my picture so that he will recognize me when we meet at the ferry terminal. He asks me, "Are you really 44? You sure don't look it, you look about
20" & I am like WTF? What picture do I have up there, anyway? I checked & sure enough, the photo was taken in 1982. I emailed him the more current
one right away & he said "No worries, but you still don't look like you're in your 40s". | |
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dlros
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Joined: 10/14/2008
Msg: 100 | |
| 80% admit to supplying false details on their profiles
Posted: 7/23/2009 4:48:35 AM | That's so true "michaelann", I never thought of that. That maxim seems to hold true everywhere but on dating sites! ;)
<div class='quote'>Pics may not lie, but angles can be deceptive & I have heard/read that "the camera will add 10 pounds". So why is it that EVERY person I have met
from online has actually looked heavier than in their pics?
I suspect it's because of how people choose their photo's. There has been much study on how attraction works, and how people go about making themselves "attractive". People will subconciously choose pics in which they look the best, forgoing other factors. Like you I think many people will unwittingly put up old pics.
But your comment about deceptive pics really hit home- blurry pics, really small ones, and the ubiquitous "soft focus" all fascinate me! When the rubber hits the road, you are who you are, and you aren't going to fool anyone.
That being said, as I've experienced this whole game, I become more and more easygoing about these "white lies". Finding love is a tough game, and I see how people can fall into this trap- even the best of us. Never think that that blond barbie doll with perfect porportions and 300 people in her favorites is having an easy time of it. I've seen too many of those same barbie dolls with tears flowing, feeling the same pain of rejection that everyone else feels.
Trust me, it's tough for all of us. I'm not saying it's an excuse for deception, but there's a reason the 80% is inaccurate- it's us!  | |
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