| How do you love someone with a Disorder
Posted: 11/2/2006 3:55:09 PM | From the botom of my heart, I thank you! Your words couldn't be better spoken. So many people don't realize or better yet don't care and understand the things that a "disorder" can do to a person, no matter what the disorder might be. Thanks for speaking your mind on this matter.
teeseyesrgreen | |
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| How do you love someone with a Disorder
Posted: 11/3/2006 12:31:43 AM | | well, I dealt with them all in their presence for yrs. and yes it is another ballgame, but I also realize these same people are the only ones I got and vice versa, that's my motivation for loving them, i got no other choice but to like them and tolerate them, who else will? | |
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| How do you love someone with a Disorder
Posted: 2/9/2007 10:24:59 AM | i know how you feel there i am 35 with adhd
i hv been in and out of relationships where my partners take advantage of my disorder
but not nomore the thing is we r still humon we know how to love and care be gentle and honest .......................  | |
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| How do you love someone with a Disorder
Posted: 2/9/2007 10:36:44 AM | I've never been in a relationship with someone with a "disorder", but my former step-daughter is bi-polar. Bless her heart, she's a good kid, but if she doesn't take her meds she can be a monster. She's 15 now and I think the bi-polar sometimes interferes with her relationships with the boys. There were times her mother and I had to walk on eggshells or suffer her wrath. It's hard enough to be a teenager let alone have to deal with something like that every day.
My nephew, who is 40 was diagnosed as bi-polar last year. He takes his meds faithfully and I can tell a big difference in him. I wouldn't know he is affected that way if I weren't a family member.
Everyone is different. And I have no good advice to give other than take it slow and easy and see where it leads you. You'll know if you can handle it as time goes on. | |
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| How do you love someone with a Disorder
Posted: 2/9/2007 10:50:15 AM | Hey there,
I am a 33 yr old single mom with Bipolar disorder. It has been hard for me to date because many men feel that they don't want to date anyone who is not normal. As far as I can see NOBODy is normal. I think it takes a very special, open hearted and loving person to look past the disorder and see the real being inside. I am a highly functioning, medicated, Bipolar sufferer and I know what I need to do in any crisis situation. I have been suffering with this disorder since I was old enough to express emotions. It has taken my most of my teen and adult life to assure myself that I am quite normal and that my disorder does not define who I am, but it adds to the struggle of finding someone to love. Try to look beyond the disorder, and be thankful that the person who shared it with you needed alot of courage to do so. | |
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| How do you love someone with a Disorder
Posted: 2/9/2007 10:55:28 AM | Ya472.....I agree with you and absolutely so when you say *You should be loving someone for who they are, rather than what they have.*....
I feel exactly the same as you. Tho I do think....it can depend on how they handle their own illness. Like they can be constantly cranky with you and the whole world.....and continually.....so this could wear one down over time.....and make life hard to bare. But if they were handling it the best they could and you knew they loved you to bits.....then for me it wouldnt be a problem.....because like you....I would be loving the person for who they were. I have often maintained this attitude.
I guess it could depend on how much off the planet they were with their disorders.....this could be a big factor in making a decision. But I guess it doesnt stop you loving them.....but could have a baring on the degree of that love. Sometimes you can love someone without an intimate love taking place. I guess it depends on the person you are loving......and how lovable they are in themselves. Many people with disorders can get wound up in their own world.....and can shut people out......and only call on them when they feel some need for companionship. It all depends on the people loving and the people being loved. ONLY you can work out what you are capable of......and how far you can go when it comes down to it.
I hope this has been of some help...lol. | |
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| How do you love someone with a Disorder
Posted: 2/9/2007 10:57:40 AM | Thank you
I am Bipolar and you are right. We are just like everyone else when we are medicated. I have suffered the rejection of others for several years. It is nice to know that the Bipolar community is fighting the sterotypes and winning. Thanks again. | |
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| How do you love someone with a Disorder
Posted: 2/9/2007 12:57:22 PM | DOES anyone love people like that? Unless they have some sort of similar disorder too... I have social anxiety disorder, depression & general anxiety. And have never been loved by anyone(except family of course). I think my problems must drive people away.  | |
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wurl
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Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 109 | |
| How do you love someone with a Disorder
Posted: 2/9/2007 1:32:43 PM | | one loves another with a disorder just as anyone else. the only deal breaker for me is that many personality disorders manifest an emotionaly abusive behaviour - so unless you like negative attention, it's VERY difficult. I speak from tons of experience. (shrug) my ex was diagnosed bipolar - and well that explained a lot about the years of difficulty. | |
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| How do you love someone with a Disorder
Posted: 2/9/2007 1:45:09 PM | I have Tourette Syndrome, ADHD, OCD, Rage Disorder, and Bi-Polar Disorder.
Understanding what that means for my inner life is an impossible thing for me to help you achieve.
All I can say is that I hope I find the right person soon. It gets lonely in my mind, but that's the only place I can stay interested in.
Still, if you want to understand what it's like for the person, then you need to listen to them, and ask them questions, and always be ready for them to feel any number of ways. One effect of these disorders is that the person thinks differently.
It's not that they think outside the box. Their box simply runs by different rules entirely.
But that's one of the rewards: each one of us is a gem once we have some help getting polished.
~ David | |
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| How do you love someone with a Disorder
Posted: 2/9/2007 2:50:39 PM | | I married someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. The 7 years I was married to her were the most miserable of my life. I only found out about this condition when we were divorcing. There is no cure for NPD and the only thing you can do, for the sake of your own sanity if you become enmeshed with someone with this condition is to get right away from them. | |
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| How do you love someone with a Disorder
Posted: 6/11/2007 8:12:10 AM | | Kudos to you ladyc4 who says....you would "LOVE " someone "with" a disorder the same way you would "without" one. Has anyone ever of Fibromyalgia? If you can't even pronounce it...try adjusting your life to it. Curious about what it might be...and have a few minutes...go to the web site Fibromyalgia.com and check it out. Maybe then...if you ever meet someone who has this disorder...and there's the possibility of LOVE...(or even friendship)you won't let egnorance rule your heart! | |
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| How do you love someone with a Disorder
Posted: 6/11/2007 3:28:36 PM | | I agree, very carefully. Seriously, you can, you just have to understand their situation and realize sometimes that they may need your help . | |
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| How do you love someone with a Disorder
Posted: 6/11/2007 7:03:53 PM | I am bi-polar...I don't expect to be treated any differently than anybody else.
Do some research on the disorder, understand it. But, don't treat her any different than you would anybody else. That is the last thing she needs. Talk with her about it, get her feelings on her disorder. See how "aware" she is of her disorder etc. Other than that, just love her and support her... | |
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| How do you love someone with a Disorder
Posted: 6/11/2007 7:09:30 PM | It's very simple....you love them....... in spite of their disorder.
People don't need to be fixed,they need to be understood.If YOU understood them.....you wouldn't try to fix them.I think understanding is what is called for.
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| How do you love someone with a Disorder
Posted: 6/11/2007 8:28:26 PM | | Most notably clinical depression + bipolar +++ ... in my own experiences, the only absolute is to set your own personal boundaries, and stick to them. As with any other relationship, you've got to have your own life on the side , interests that are just for you. If you choose to share, so be it, however, keep something for only you. It will do your heart good in the long run. When the relationship is good, it can be wonderful ... however, when it's bad, it's draining. EXTREMEly draining. | |
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