| | Can Friends with Benefits turn into a Serious Relationship?Page 6 of 8 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8) | | Wow, I just want to say you are definitely a great woman. The fact that you stuck by this man through all his insecurities shows me that whoever you love you will definitely go the extra mile for. To me that has got to be the one quality a man looks for in a good relationship with any woman. We all want someone who will stick with us through the good and especially the bad times. Unfortunately you have yet to meet that right guy for you so I wish you the best of luck, I know you will find him. Also to all those that kept telling you to drop the guy, dont be ridiculous, like its so easy to drop someone you are emotionally attached to. When it comes to relationships and emotions we all learn in our own time. | |
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| Can Friends with Benefits turn into a Serious Relationship?
Posted: 12/9/2009 6:23:24 PM | | I've been thinking about this question for a long time and I believe it can happen, but just not in my circumstances. We were friends very close at one time. He's younger than me by quite a few years. Things evolved slow at first. Lite kissing and hand holding turned into heavy and intense makeout sessions. We became inseparable. Always together. Then his interests shifted to someone else and thats when I realized I ****ed up and fall in love with him. It was like torture each and everytime I saw them together. He would lie and say it wasn't serious between them. I guess to spare my feelings, but it was way too late for that. I tried as best I could to control my emotions, but he was telling me all the time how he loved me, how I mattered to him. I told him I love you too, but not like a friend anymore way more than that. And it didn't help that the sex is so good. Recently I ending our friendship completely. I can't do it anymore. It hurts too much, but it hurts even more seeing him and not talking, laughing, joking with my friend. The lines can get so blurred. My advise to anyone thinking about crossing that line really think it through cause once you cross over you can never go back and a friend could be lost. | |
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| Can Friends with Benefits turn into a Serious Relationship?
Posted: 11/11/2010 4:28:01 PM | Her is my take as I have been in a FWB situation before.
I have enjoyed the Friends With Benefits because it allows two people to engage in a no strings encounter that can potentially lead to more...time and time again when we human get attached too fast too soon...the feelings can wreck the potential for a relationship. Like some of the people have said there is NO doubt you both are in a relationship. FWB is simply hanging out, having sex and that's it...no getting to know one another and growing together as a couple...however if the FWB has a potential for more...then because it can be a casual encounter and really when we think about it....doesn't anything start off as CASUAL anyways? It certainly does! We simply get blinded by the fact that when the potential for more can arise, is when problem can occur. When I get involved with someone for FWB (and yes I still do it, because I do want the casual to turn into more) I give them the potential for more down the road and if not, then it was great sex and nothing more...however when it can turn into more....because the mindset wasn't for a serious tone and rather a casual one....you would be amazed sweetie that most men DO want a relationship....having approach in this way we all pretty much do it anyways...is have casual sex until someone we really like keeps coming back for more...is when that journey will be FULFILLED. Just practice safe sex, have fun, and when the trust and intimacy is built, it can truly go further....just remember and BOTH men and women should take this into consideration....when the benefits situation or relationship is at a question...STOP and talk to your partner where things are going! If the other person is NOT on the same page then let it go! If not....then go for it and it will turn into MORE!
Because then the feeling for each other will be given room to grow and for men especially...this will help men better succeed in the dating world and far more successful in attracting and KEEPING better mates....women in this case.
Yarisman1974 | |
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| Can Friends with Benefits turn into a Serious Relationship?
Posted: 11/12/2010 4:38:58 AM | | I'll never get the Friends with Benefits thing and how it ever benefits women. I've never been in heat, that has to be the only reason a woman would degrade herself to orifice status for a man's private parts, hoping one day he'll see you as a human being with feelings. | |
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| Can Friends with Benefits turn into a Serious Relationship?
Posted: 11/12/2010 9:38:48 AM | I had a friend who totally fell in love with a gal in FWB situation, she kicked his butt to the curb and ended up with someone else. Ouch.
I'll never get the Friends with Benefits thing and how it ever benefits women. If two people are getting good sex and are both satisfied with the arrangment, what's the problem? It's not like men are the only beneficiaries of sex; last time I checked, women enjoy sex too. Maybe you don't, but that's your problem. | |
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| Can Friends with Benefits turn into a Serious Relationship?
Posted: 11/13/2010 3:13:44 AM | About a month ago, I asked my FWB of seven months if she'd like to be my GF!
We are now officially Bf/Gf and I'm starting to get to know her son slowly... while FWB I never met him and feel that was smart on her part. He's three BTW. | |
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| Can Friends with Benefits turn into a Serious Relationship?
Posted: 11/14/2010 10:44:34 AM |
I'm into good sex with commitment and respect, I don't take sex as unspecial as a bowel movement
OMFG-I don't think anyone here said any such thing. Yes, some women hate sex so freakin' much that they will only submit to it when there is a HUGE PRIZE for them at the end of the "ordeal"...a big banners-waving, somewhere-over-the-rainbow "RELATIONSHIP" with all the committment and the social approval and the "look at me, I got a boyfriend!" boost to their nearly non-existent self esteem. Some people can take ONE negative experience as an excuse to hide in a corner and lash out at those who actually enjoy dating,sex, FwBs or whatever else they want to do( myself I draw the line at immediate hook-ups, one-night stands, general promiscuity. While I wouldn't personally ever participate, for those women who choose to straight up exchange sex for cash, I do tip my hat to them for cutting straight to the chase as they see it .
I don't know about anybody else, but the day I start equating sex with bowel movements, I'll seek professional counseling.
As to the OT-yes, it does sometimes happen that a FwB or even a f*ckbuddy situation becomes more. But anyone who enters into that type of involvement with any sort of EXPECTATION that it will become more, is only setting themselves up to get hurt and maybe wind up angry, bitter and equating sex with a trip to the outhouse. Which is very sad, IMO.
Cindy O | |
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| Can Friends with Benefits turn into a Serious Relationship?
Posted: 11/15/2010 2:07:14 PM |
Can Friends with Benefits turn into a Serious Relationship?
Yes. And that is generally the sign all relationships with that person are going to end soon.
People can't handle unbound relationships, too insecure. People like familiarity, with control over it. Look at most products in your life. They either give immediate pleasure, or allow greater control over your environment (sometimes both).
So they get what they want (immediate gratification of social interaction and human contact) with FWB but without any real security in the relationship they start to feel a little uneasy and insecure, there's no rules, there are no guarantees.
That turns into a false sense of "emotion" which pushes them to pursue a structured, familiar (according to how they are taught) relationship environment, seeking to stick labels on it, and bring in expectations of behavior. That makes them feel more secure, but inhibits their "freedom" (lack of commitment and therefore loss of control) so to speak and ability to shirk responsibility.
So they try it for a while. Flounder. And then kill it so they can go back to looking for immediate social gratification without strings, commitment, change, or responsibility, until that becomes too scary and insecure, and try it again.
So yes, most FWB relationships turn into serious relationships (sometimes without a conscious decision being made), and when it gets too serious it's time to end it and go back to looking for a FWB.
It's just another cycle of unhealthy relationships, IMO, that people try and rationalize in order to justify unhealthy behavior. | |
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| Can Friends with Benefits turn into a Serious Relationship?
Posted: 11/15/2010 3:49:22 PM |
I don't get why it is you feel a need to insult or put down people when they disagree with you....
Because the people who are in favor of FWB's are constantly being insulted and called names by those who are against FWB's ... WE don't go to all other threads promoting FWB's, but the same people follow every FWB thread and sling insults...you just don't SEE them as insults...
Calling our relationships meaningless, devoid of emotion, bowel movements, unhealthy, deviant and all the other stuff that's been said in this and other forums ARE insults!
My question is if you're(meaning everyone) so offended by something, why not just avoid it? | |
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| Can Friends with Benefits turn into a Serious Relationship?
Posted: 11/15/2010 4:30:07 PM |
with FWB but without any real security
Nope...in order to have a FwB that doesn't result in a permanent anger/embitterment, the participants need to bring THEIR OWN security. Security for what, anyway? It's not SUPPOSED to morph into a "real relationship". Sometimes that DOES happen despite the participants' intentions. But its' not supposed to be about "security"-you really shouldn't expect any more from a FwB than you would from any other fairly close friend/companion. Again, we aren't talking about a series of "hit it and quit it" episodes with the same perpetrator, we are talking about a friendship that permits and enjoys RESPECTFUL sexual intimacy,without a "price",such as an expectation of it becoming a "serious relationship", or other specified behaviors. I can't speak for anybody else, but any FwB of mine that started treating me like a secret cum dumpster would be sent packing with his head under his arm and his nuts in a brown paper bag...and if I treated HIM like nothing more than a convenient secret weiner ride, I'd expect the same reaction on his part.
These people who keep yakking on about disrespect and being used and all that crap...tell me do you disrespect and use YOUR friends? I don't do that to mine, regardless of gender or "benefits".
Cindy O | |
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| Can Friends with Benefits turn into a Serious Relationship?
Posted: 11/15/2010 5:00:33 PM | It's exactly the friendship part that makes each other care for, respect and communicate.
Without those elements its not a FWB relationship....
I've never been in a committed or monogamist FWB relationship, but thats not to say neither of us DID anything outside of each other...just that it was allowed with disclosure after the fact. Could disclosure result in ending of benefits? Certainly! Then again you're not in a FWB relationship just for the benefits...its the friendship...the benefits are there because of the friendship.
Perhaps that is the difference some are confused about...
Are you friends BECAUSE of the benefits or are you sharing benefits BECAUSE you're friends?
I suppose either is fine as long as BOTH of you are in the same page with it! | |
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| Can Friends with Benefits turn into a Serious Relationship?
Posted: 11/15/2010 8:47:41 PM |
Because the people who are in favor of FWB's are constantly being insulted and called names by those who are against FWB's ...
So.... Your justification is that you do it because other people do it?
That's not really a good reason now is it?
I've been insulted numerous times... Doesn't mean I lower my standards... I also know that insulting people really doesn't help convince people of a point of view....... | |
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| Can Friends with Benefits turn into a Serious Relationship?
Posted: 11/15/2010 9:00:50 PM |
. I also know that insulting people really doesn't help convince people of a point of view.......
Okay, off your high horse there Bucko!
YOU...were one of the people in another FWB thread slinging underhanded comments about those involved in FWB's... | |
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| Can Friends with Benefits turn into a Serious Relationship?
Posted: 11/16/2010 5:32:39 PM |
fwb can't go into anything serious because it is not a relationship in the first place, you and friend are just there for sex and then the 2 of you part ways until you need another roll in the hay.
Really? You speak for ALL FWB's? ...Interesting...I wasn't aware that a FWB spokesperson had been designated to define our relationships for us and decide WHY we are in that relationship!
THAT quote sounds more like a FB.... which still COULD become more....
MY primary reason for being in a FWB is the friendship...the sex is born out of mutual attraction, respect and safety...which is also why there should be full disclosure with your partner if you play with anyone else!
The simple answer is ANY interaction between two or more people IS a relationship!
ALL possibilities are POSSIBLE at all times for EVERYTHING... LIKELIHOOD is another matter!
My current BF/GF relationship started as a FWB... technically it started as acquaintances, became a friendship THEN FWB.
It IS possible.... YES!
I caution people to not HOPE or EXPECT it to though.
If you're hoping or expecting it then you're not being honest with your friend and shouldn't be in the FWB situation in the first place. | |
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| Can Friends with Benefits turn into a Serious Relationship?
Posted: 11/16/2010 7:10:23 PM |
THAT quote sounds more like a FB
a fwb, fb or nsa are all one in the same thing, if you are doing anything else with them other then sex that makes you girlfriend/boyfriend which is a relationship and in that case you should be serious about each other. | |
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| Can Friends with Benefits turn into a Serious Relationship?
Posted: 11/16/2010 7:27:56 PM | ^^^^^^ You're completely WRONG!
Not for having that OPINION but for insisting your OPINION defines everyone else's reason and definition.... FWB, FB's and NSA are very much NOT the same thing.....its sad that you actually think that though...I feel sorry for you....you apparently don't understand what a friend is. | |
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| Can Friends with Benefits turn into a Serious Relationship?
Posted: 11/17/2010 7:18:21 AM |
you apparently don't understand what a friend is.{/quote]
a friend is someone you can confide in and do other things with (movies, dinner. etc) however once you add sex to the equation you are no longer friends, you are girlfriend and boyfriend. you can't have it both ways where you are having sex, going to the movies and doing other stuff while not calling it boyfriend/girlfriend.
You either are boyfriend/girlfriend or you are no strings attached. | |
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| Can Friends with Benefits turn into a Serious Relationship?
Posted: 11/17/2010 8:04:36 AM | | Any situation can develop into a relationship, if both people are willing, feeling it and want it AT THE SAME TIME-the odds are as likely for a fwb turning into a relationship as any other type of friendship blossoming into a romantic relationship. Not really that high in my opinion, but still possible. | |
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