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| Why Do Women Do Stupid Things During Breakups???
Posted: 2/10/2007 2:15:18 AM | Personally, I don't trash things after a break-up. I do email/write and/or call and try to make sense of the situation and get closure. Then I move on and try to remember all the good things about the relationship and how I grew. I do think you generalize, the old adage comes to mind, "You reap what you sow."
In response to your subject line.
[Quote]Why Do Women Do Stupid Things During
Breakups???[/Quote] Why Do Men Do Stupid Things During the Relationship?
[Quote]I also heard stories about my friend's ex's throwing there tv's and stuff out the window just because of a break up....jeez grow up, act your age, and move on...don't throw a hissy fit or get ur panties all in a twist because of it...he doesn't like you, there's the door now move.[/Quote]
We could request that men grow up, act your age...like don't be chasing each and everything that makes you happy for the moment...whether it's other women, drinking out of control, always hanging out with your friends........new electronic toys....the last two are fine and normal done in moderation....whatever it is that has you out of balance
[Quote]he doesn't like you, there's the door now move.[/Quote] Now that sounds like a statement coming from someone, in this case a man, that uses women for his benefit, and then throws them away....and you are surprised women have a negative reaction?
When you objectify women, your objects may get broken.
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| Why Do Women Do Stupid Things During Breakups???
Posted: 2/10/2007 2:22:13 AM | Personally, I don't trash things after a break-up. I do email/write and/or call and try to make sense of the situation and get closure. Then I move on and try to remember all the good things about the relationship and how I grew. I do think you generalize, the old adage comes to mind, "You reap what you sow."
In response to your subject line.
[Quote]Why Do Women Do Stupid Things During
Breakups???[/Quote] Why Do Men Do Stupid Things During the Relationship?
[Quote]I also heard stories about my friend's ex's throwing there tv's and stuff out the window just because of a break up....jeez grow up, act your age, and move on...don't throw a hissy fit or get ur panties all in a twist because of it...he doesn't like you, there's the door now move.[/Quote]
We could request that men grow up, act your age...like don't be chasing each and everything that makes you happy for the moment...whether it's other women, drinking out of control, always hanging out with your friends........new electronic toys....the last two are fine and normal done in moderation....whatever it is that has you out of balance
[Quote]he doesn't like you, there's the door now move.[/Quote] Now that sounds like a statement coming from someone, in this case a man, that uses women for his benefit, and then throws them away....and you are surprised women have a negative reaction?
When you objectify women, your objects may get broken.
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| Why Do Women Do Stupid Things During Breakups???
Posted: 2/12/2007 9:46:24 AM |
I just think it is an emotional release. Women are normally more emotional then men we express pain differently. I know, I feel after a break up that I wasted so much time with someone that didn't really want me. Women have very few years to really find someone. I mean after 30 we're considered washed up. So anytime we wasted with someone is time we can never get back. I think thats why we get so crushed when a relationship doesn't work. We invested time and effort into something with no return on the investment.
Interesting outlook, I never looked at it that way. Now I feel nothing but pity for those kind of women, the vindictiveness is really a sickness in itself. | |
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| Why Do Women Do Stupid Things During Breakups???
Posted: 2/16/2007 10:54:34 AM | because they are in real love, that is what happend to me but still she the only one realy loves me and i havnt find any one better then her, we are good friend now but there is still love. | |
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| Why Do Women Do Stupid Things During Breakups???
Posted: 2/16/2007 11:09:46 AM | oh its not just the women that do this.. I know someone whose husband threw the computer out the window when she decided to leave him.. he thought she had found someone else through the internet.. she didn't have anyone else.. she was just sick of him..
people get all sorts of crazy when they break up.. its that surge of chemicals in the brain. | |
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| Why Do Women Do Stupid Things During Breakups???
Posted: 2/16/2007 1:41:49 PM | [Sinbad said]
If the man were the one letting himself into her house and doing all those things, most women here would call him a stalker and claim for the police to be called.
I suppose commiting felonies is OK, if the felon is a woman and the victim is an ex-boyfriend.
"Your honor, I destroyed his property but you know, like, I was mad at him, so you can't blame me."
Well said! I'm sick of the "you just need to understand how they feel, and what their frame of mind was because of the hurt they felt" defense.
If I were the judge in that case I'd be like. "Listen here miss. I don't care what your motivations were for commiting the crime. You broke the law. Thats the only fact that matters in this case. How you feel about the plaintiff is irrelavant!" | |
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| Why Do Women Do Stupid Things During Breakups???
Posted: 2/16/2007 10:59:50 PM | | he knew when he married me, if you cheat, you're out. I found out and calmly piled all his belongings in the living room and even offered a piece of furniture or two. He packed it all the next day in the back of his pick-up truck and took off. End of marriage. There need not be any drama when groundrules are set. I sent a dozen, white, long-stemmed white roses to her with a good luck card. That was eight years ago. Still single. Happy. No regrets. | |
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| Why Do Women Do Stupid Things During Breakups???
Posted: 2/18/2007 4:14:48 PM | | Women and men can do stupid things at anytime and immediately regret it. think before you act is good advice but we're all capable of letting the red mist cloud our judgement. for me, it's usually out of frustration, not because of a break-up but due to one-sided conversations forcing your hand to get a reaction. No point being vindictive though. It doesn't get anyone anywhere. | |
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| Why Do Women Do Stupid Things During Breakups???
Posted: 2/18/2007 9:00:49 PM | First off, SOME women probably act this way for the same reason that SOME men act this way. Because they lose control. It happens. Do I agree with that kind of behavior? Nope. But you really shouldn't be pointing any fingers at just one gender.
Secondly, you said;
they were very expensive items that she probably didn't pay for
Rule of thumb. If the items were purchased during the marriage, she most certainly DID help pay for them. What is purchased during a marriage- IS purchased by BOTH parties, with funds that belong to BOTH parties. What's his is hers, and what's hers is his. It doesn't excuse her behavior, or anyone elses behavior in a situation like that. But who am I to judge? I don't know the whole story....kinda like you. | |
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| Why Do Women Do Stupid Things During Breakups???
Posted: 2/19/2007 12:29:47 AM | Wow Pink Wine Cats... what a great post... love the 40ish woman for all of those reasons... prefer the company of women, not girls.
They only thing that worries me is that you appear to come from a place called Bossier City... knew there must have been a place nagging wives came from! (just kidding),.... | |
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| Why Do Women Do Stupid Things During Breakups???
Posted: 3/21/2007 11:13:53 PM | Ok, what have I done? Umm went into his email inbox and deleted all of his emails and contact lists, all really important ones like flight itineraries and resumes and stuff and emailed people using his email address, humiliating him...
Which is nothing compared all the physical damage that he had done to my personal possessions over the years, like broke my mobiles, keyed my car, damaged appliances, cut up my clothes, oh and there's lots more... I took all that, silly me for loving him... but once I did the email thing, man was he pissed... it was over then... he can give it but he couldn't take it... seriously the guy has mental issues... | |
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| Why Do Women Do Stupid Things During Breakups???
Posted: 3/21/2007 11:32:42 PM | WOW!!! So men dont act crazy??? They dont park outside a womans house, call sixty times a day, send hundreds of abusive emails, key cars??? Punch walls? Throw stuff? and yes even punch and beat the person that not that long ago they loved? They dont kill wives, girlfriends, dates because they "think" they were cheating??
What a idiot blanket statement... better realize that there are violent rage based people all over this planet.. heck, I think a few of them are in the oval office now...
It is not all black and white. so you may want to rethink this question..
It is like the question,, why do old, stupic, fat, bald men like twenty year old girls?? well all men are not old, fat, bald, or stupid and they are all not all looking for a twinkie... so come on... grow up,, act your age, move on and dont get your tidy whities in a twist because you dont know how stop generalizing with "all women"..
okie dokie?
BL | |
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| Why Do Women Do Stupid Things During Breakups???
Posted: 3/21/2007 11:51:31 PM | Hmmm OJ? Scott Peterson? and thousands of other men kill after or before divorce.. and I wonder what Lacy did??? NOTHING..
That woman handed the stupid tv to the liar, cheater and only hurt a laptop and threw the clothes on the street... I think it could have been alot worse... some people just shoot, stab or poison the other person, sometimes just for money...
that sucks.
bl | |
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| Why Do Women Do Stupid Things During Breakups???
Posted: 7/3/2007 7:45:36 AM |
I never damage people's things or try to hurt them in any way, I just call it a day, pack, leave, count my losses and move on. Well maybe I throw out the occassionaly F U on the way out the door, that's as bad as I get.
I totally agree with this statement! Why bother wasting energy on someone who clearly doesn't want to be with you? Use that energy instead to look back on the relationship to figure out where it went bad. When people break-up it's not usually out of left field, there are usually signs first, be it, he's pulled away, or she's pulled away, the moments of intimacy are not the same, the phone calls don't get answered, or go straight to voicemail. These are SIGNS! For all those people that say, "Geezus, I don't now what happened, it just ended..." (insert cough here) Bullsh*t! Come on now, be real, face the facts for what they were.
I once dated a guy (who I met online) and after I broke up with him, he plastered horribe rumours about me online, on his profile, on his blog, saying things like, "Nikki is a puss-filled walking disease who will give you HIV..." just to mention the one statement that DID stick out in my mind, that obviously hurt the most. While I wanted to retaliate and spread horrible FACTUAL statements about him (which came straight from the horse's mouth), I didn't bother. I chose the higher road in fact, and sent him an e-mail stating that if he didn't take down these vicious unfounded RUMOURS about me, then he left me no choice to report him to his ISP provider, not to mention the RCMP (as he threatened to use his plane ticket to come to Toronto to "make me sorry" for breaking up with him). I told him that not only did I forward his statements to the RCMP, but to all my friends and family, and that if ANYTHING every happened to me, he'd be the first direction the RCMP would be looking. Needless to say, he took down all his postings, and sent me a flaming 7 page letter (by snail mail) with a few pieces of jewellery that I'd bought for him. I didn't even bother reading the letter, as I knew it would be filled with b.s. and anger, and I knew reading it would only get my own blood boiling.
Ex's are an ex for a reason, and while I could not be friends with this particular ex, I am still very good friends with 2 of my ex's and their now wives. Just because 2 people aren't good together, doesn't mean you can't be happy for them once you've both moved on. Remaining friends with an ex is sign of maturity, clarity, and wisdom. Not all relationships have to end in someone destroying another person's property, or making unfounded statements about someone. Ask yourself this before making the mistake of doing something stupid, "How would I feel this was done to me?" For those people who destroy other people's property, shame on you, how dare you?! You have NO RIGHT whatsoever to destroy anything, even if he DID cheat on you! If he cheated on you, geezus, thank your lucky stars, he did you favour cuz obviously he's a bum and doesn't deserve your time and energy! Be thankful you found out when you did and move on. There are far too many GOOD men out there who will treat you with love, respect, and dignity. If you're not being treated the way you feel you should be, then move on. Remember, you should NEVER accept less then you expect.
'Nuff said! | |
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| Why Do Women Do Stupid Things During Breakups???
Posted: 7/3/2007 11:22:20 AM | | We are not all like that ...lol...that's a bit drastic. If I am in that situation then I take time out to deal with all the hurt. Different people react differently given the situation......look at it this way....at least you know what gives now. | |
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| Why Do Women Do Stupid Things During Breakups???
Posted: 7/12/2007 5:47:30 PM | | Oh, so many mature, sensible people here. Now while I applaud anyone with the dignity and strength of character to walk away from a situation where they have been hurt or cheated on by a partner,.. i have to say that i may be verging on the side of 'hell hath no fury@. Although i dont really get these sly sneaky methods of revenge, like cress on the carpets, or rotting prawns in the curtain hems. I want the person who hurt me to know I'm mad. I dont want my revenge served cold, I want it right then!. I have only been cheated on once, to my knowledge. I was told to my face by the SO, we were standing at a cab rank, in the centre of town,.. I could have just shook my head in contempt and walked away, but i wouldnt have felt the satisfaction and closure that I did, by putting all my hurt, and anger into one huge punch in his face. he went down on his ass in the cab rank. Several onlookers laughed. he was humiliated, just as I had been. Now, there will be tuts and disapproval at this. I am not proud of my actions,.. but I dont regret them either. That one smack gave me instant satisfaction and closure. No lingering hurt and frustration and anger. All over and done with one punch. You hurt me... i hurt you back. playground tactics for sure, but ultimately very satisfying. x | |
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| Why Do Women Do Stupid Things During Breakups???
Posted: 7/13/2007 12:30:13 PM | | i knw wot u mean , i dated a gurl a wile ago, i eventually moved in with her, and all the time i spent with her , she always made out to me that her ex was a bad guy, wasnt until i spoke to him on the phone and met up with im, she turned really nasty towards me, i guess she didnt like the idea of us getting on so well, its hard also when there are chidren involved but i treatedthem like thay were my own, i loved them both to bits, and he knew how much i cared for them, so he was ok with that, but like i said she turned nasty, and i didnt like it, i decided to call it a day with her, but the worse thing had happened was she always thought i would b there, i moved out and left some of my stuff at hers, wen i went to colect it she had smashed it all, i werent to bothered about the small things , but my pride and joy was my stereo, so why do women get so sressed bout things, i will certainly think twice now, and i knw not all ladies are like that ............. | |
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| Why Do Women Do Stupid Things During Breakups???
Posted: 7/13/2007 12:51:04 PM | [So..... For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free?", here's an up-date for you: Now 80% of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig, just to get a little sausage./quote.]
'Theres no fury as a woman scorned' comes to mind, men never learn and go around scraching their heads saying they don't undestand women...for me its like banging my head on a brick wall and I go around scraching my head saying 'Men' don't understand them.. | |
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| Why Do Women Do Stupid Things During Breakups???
Posted: 7/13/2007 1:32:11 PM | Mmm, to be honest I don't know why. Maybe it is to get "the last laugh"; maybe it is because the guy hurt something that was precious to her (her love, damaged the thing she treasured - the relationship she had with him) plus hurt her - he for whatever reason was tempted elsewhere, so that meant that she was no longer the centre of things for him. Oh I know a guy could argue that their partner is still at the centre of things and it is natural to be attracted and tempted and act on that for someone else. It's the old argument about whether we can be monogamous (well swans can manage it, why can't we?)...
So I guess , going back to the trash thing, you can't damage the relationship, as it's already damaged. So trashing things that are or were "valuable" in what ever way, financially or otherwise, to "him" is what you can do, i.e. that you have access too.
Don't forget guys you are the ones with the rational heads (so it is said). You for the most part act on reason, tis the yin and yang thing I guess. And so when we feel like a cross between Lady McBeth, Dark Vadar and the Wicked Witch it is so so hard to smile sweetly and have no response, it's a bit like trying to keep the raging tempest in with cardboard and a bit of selotape...
It happened to me, only once, but I didn't trash anything. It was much more subtle than that! And the odd thing is that the guy to this day doesn't know it was just me getting my own back. But it was enough. I knew, and the impact lasted for several days; needless to say I had a giggle about it and even because of that felt better and eventually the relationship was back on again; and yes I could have won an oscar for my role in it all but you know what, I got the relationship back but it was never as precious and as treasured as it was, at least not for me anyway.
And girls if you want to know, "it" sells in a certain shop in most high streets, is so so simple...and doesn't damage any material thing...
Having said that it would have been lovely to just have accepted things and know that as long as he was happy then I should be too, for him, and just move on... sometimes you know it is the best thing. Trashing things isn't the best option, its just over too quickly. Slow planning, long lasting results and not being found out and really having the "last laugh" is by far better, specially when the relationship comes back together again... | |
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| Why Do Women Do Stupid Things During Breakups???
Posted: 7/13/2007 3:10:52 PM | I will agree (alot) of women tend to be more emotional about things. To the point of being vindictive, whether warranted or not. I find nothing wrong with what this woman did. NOT ONE THING. She threw his laptop and clothes also dumping his golf clubs. I hope she also took him to the cleaners. In these cases I support a woman 100%
What I don't support is things like what happened to me. An ex discovered I had been dating while we were broke up. We broke up due to severe trust issues on her part. (documented by counsellors) (unwarranted) Yep that's right. Unwarranted. I'm friggin wonderful. :) I always thought she knew I had dated while we were apart as she had apologized to me profusely about some terrible things she had been saying to people one day when we saw a group of her friends at a restaurant (though she never
expanded on it) Also unwarranted. We had reconciled. I was still in love with this woman. Long story short. She started dating and sleeping around out of spite while still seeing me and bad mouthing me to anyone with an ear??? Emotional? Ahhhhhhhh Yeah. Issues??? Ya think?
She has never faced me to this day about her actions. Just keeps flapping her gums to whoever will listen to her and her bullchit. The oh poor little me nonsense and that bad man. :)
I am comfortable with the fact that actions speak for themselves and sooner or later they bite you in the ass. :)
I thank you. | |
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| Why Do Women Do Stupid Things During Breakups???
Posted: 7/13/2007 3:29:24 PM | I didn't trash my ex's stuff ,but I did hold it hostage and demanded a ransom. He left me for another woman ,two weeks after our son was born . He actually dumped me by telephone , while we was at my mothers . He went to visit a friend and called me from there and said " Oh by the way , I'm leaving you for another woman ." I was stranded ,and had to find a way home . He took all the money ,and left me with nothing ,plus a sick baby on a apena monitor that just got out of the hospital .
I went through the house ,and took everything of his that was worth any money and had a neighbor hold onto it for me . When he came to get his stuff 3 days later ,the expensive stuff was gone . The cops was called and I stood there ever so innocently and said "He is free to search the house because I have no idea what he is talking about. He could of came into the house and got it while I was stranded 25 miles away , and trying to find a way home ,since he has the only car . " He started listing everything that was missing and I said ' Do you have a recepit for any of the stuff ?" He said " Hmm yes " and I whispered in his ear , when the cop went into the other room , "You did have a recepit until I tore them up and flushed them down the toilet .Now give me 1000.00, so I can pay the rent and take care of the baby and I will give you your stuff back ." I needed enough money to get by on ,until my doctor released me to go back to work ,because I was still on maturnity leave . Needless to say , he paid up . | |
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