| Why is it so hard to find a relationship when one is middle aged?
Posted: 2/8/2008 4:50:26 PM | ^^^^^^^^
For myself, I will keep looking/hoping but without getting my knickers in a twist over the situation, because I've come to accept that men my age are more interested in safeguarding their emotions and finances than they are a meaningful relationship. And I don't want a committed relationship bad enough to go looking for the elderly men who've gotten over themselves
I think you are spot on there about the men our age ,, but I think the last line is a cracker
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| Why is it so hard to find a relationship when one is middle aged?
Posted: 2/8/2008 5:04:28 PM | | I agree with Artisan. Why throw out the package because you don't like the wrapping paper. There have been times I haven't been really attracted to someone at the first meeting, but decided to get to know them anyways. As I got to know the whole package, they became more attractive. | |
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| Why is it so hard to find a relationship when one is middle aged?
Posted: 2/8/2008 5:06:42 PM | It is not easy or hard to find a relationship...
It is only about us....
Wake up to reality!!!
If you really want...you will find a relationship!
But people love their freedom...and it has many names...poor or reach (from lousiness to hight quality)depends on their lifestyle...attraction...perhaps their income...etc...
If you don't have strong willingness to change name of your freedom...you will never find anyone for the rest of your life.... | |
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longte
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Joined: 10/18/2004
Msg: 404 | |
| Why is it so hard to find a relationship when one is middle aged?
Posted: 2/8/2008 5:21:11 PM | I couldn't be bothered reading the whole thread
[bad me]
But what the hell does middle aged have anything to do with relationships except make it much easier to have one
We have usually finished with raising our kids
We have plenty of time on our hands in most cases
We are set up the way we desire
Openly know what we want and the type of relationship we want
Our responsibilities/needs are so much smaller now
Anyone having problems finding a relationship now; Always had problems finding/maintaining a relationship
Grab your baggage and toss it out the door
Don't chase illusions [we all wouldn't mind that tight bodied 20yr old; but what would
we do with them if we caught one]
TALK to everyone [that woman in the corner shop may have been lusting after you for years]
Fantasy is always just a dream
Reality is so much simpler
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| Why is it so hard to find a relationship when one is middle aged?
Posted: 2/9/2008 1:12:13 PM | People that are a little older look for a compatibility,common interests.common lifestyle,econicomical equality,someone that will blend into and be accepted by their kids.plus they want a fishing,hunting partner,chemistry.someone to share fianciancail responsibly.where as when we were young. most of us,jumped into the water,without seeing how deep it was. Learning from youth ,experience is a good teacher.
Most older people want it all.
Than there are the older men who want young women.perhaps looking for their youth.
and older women being pursued only buy younger men'aawwww'
But this scenario doesn't always turn into a healthy lasting long term relationship,
perhaps it's just a easy way of running from a commitment,once bit,twice shy.
Than there are the older group of people that have spent their youth and their life,sacrificing for their family,until they are feeling they need excitement to live,
existence is not truly living .
Personally I just haven't found the right person.
with the chemistry ,that wanted a long term relationship.
I found I'm ok alone.but I live doors open for possiblity.
Until than it's nice to meet new friends,
You never know where any relationship will go.
So I keep fishing.. | |
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| Why is it so hard to find a relationship when one is middle aged?
Posted: 2/9/2008 1:28:11 PM | Judging from the amount of younger generations turning to the internet as an avenue, I'd say it appears all ages are having difficulty, in general.
People seeking instant gratification. See the photos, expect them to really look like that in person, have the interests they listed, etc.
I'm just happy I came across one of the 'good guys' and I'll not be looking for any 'the grass is greener' scenario. | |
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| Why is it so hard to find a relationship when one is middle aged?
Posted: 2/9/2008 4:02:13 PM | | In my experience, it is simply fear. You find somebody, you enjoy their company, everytime you are with them. We really are old enough to work out the other stuff, money etc..... A jerk is a jerk, but when you find someone you enjoy things with, you are half way there, til the fear comes into play. The what ifs, will make you crazy. | |
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| Why is it so hard to find a relationship when one is middle aged?
Posted: 2/10/2008 5:38:42 AM | To the OP:
Middle-aged, I suppose, is around 40, give or take 5 years, going on average life expectancy.
Why do we find it harder? Most of our peers are already married, or dead, for starters. Then, on top of that, we're probably pickier and more set in our ways, lol. | |
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| Why is it so hard to find a relationship when one is middle aged?
Posted: 2/13/2008 6:06:40 AM | | I'd rather say... older and wiser... and realizing there are a lot worse things in life than being single ... I figure if I have made it this far (22 years) I can live alone for the rest of my life and still be happy. I'd like to meet someone and find a mate.. but if I don't I plan to enjoy the journey anyway. | |
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| Why is it so hard to find a relationship when one is middle aged?
Posted: 2/14/2008 3:43:23 AM | | I have to agree with the poster who said most men today are more interested in protecting their emotions and their finances then in getting into a committed relationship again. They basically want sex and fun dates without committment. And there are women out there who want that, too..........I'm just not one of them! | |
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| Why is it so hard to find a relationship when one is middle aged?
Posted: 2/14/2008 9:30:44 AM | If you look for a relationship you will find it if:
You're not creepy
Your not delusional
Your available
You don't lecture others as to what is 'right'
You let others judge you
You use your brains
You don't lecture others as to what is wrong
Your over prior relationship hang-ups
Your realistic
You can accept your not finding relationships because of something that you are doing | |
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| Why is it so hard to find a relationship when one is middle aged?
Posted: 2/14/2008 6:39:29 PM | | I believe it starts as soon as we are born. We are brainwashed from day 1 to follow the path set out as appropriate by the society we live in. You obey your parents, date, get married, have kids, retire, then die. Our egos direct our everyday lives, making everything about us, I want, I need, I deserve, me, me, me. Many of us were not suited to the path society tells us we have to follow yet we blindly did as expected. This path has many bumps along the way that many of us were ill-prepared to handle. Many of us got married, but really were not the marrying kind nor good spouses. Many of us had poor parents as examples to follow. Many of us had children but were not the best of parents, we made mistakes. The problem with that is that as we age we never let those mistakes go, and whether we know it or not they influence the way we relate to every situation. Now, we are middle-aged and find ourselves alone, and since we have fallen off the path, we cannot figure out how to get back on. Most of us put up walls. I believe we have to stop and find ourselves again, tear down those walls, learn to like ourselves. Learn to forgive and let go. This means making ourselves vulnerable to others, which is quite scary. Remember, the people you are reaching out to have put up walls also. You find a common ground and you just keep trying. A lot of people think they are perfect, but no one is perfect. We all have issues and pain of some kind. Be open and don't judge people soley on looks. Kind hearts come in all shapes and colors. A good read is Eckart Tolle's "Awakening To Your Life's Purpose". | |
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| Why is it so hard to find a relationship when one is middle aged?
Posted: 2/14/2008 8:09:23 PM |
OMG, I've read a lot of Mac's posts that I've disagreed with. Then I read this one and I agree.
I must be losing it.
Maybe you might want to read those old posts again and see what you might have been reading into them.
I haven't changed and maybe what 'it' is that you're losing isn't worth holding on to............. | |
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| Why is it so hard to find a relationship when one is middle aged?
Posted: 2/15/2008 3:23:32 AM | When people post their opinions, here in the forums,we can only comprehend what the person's opinion is, based on what they write. Blatant sarcasm and/or insults towards others are easy to spot. Veiled derogatory comments are harder to discern.
I think that I'll continue to perservere, finding a relationship, all the while holding onto my own personal values and what I want for my life.
To "mine" own self, be true.
I must be losing it.   | |
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| Why is it so hard to find a relationship when one is middle aged?
Posted: 2/15/2008 3:45:35 AM |
I must be losing it.
was mean't to be funny. Obviously it was not interpreted this way. And, something else was read into it.
Obviously meant to be funny, at the expense of veiled derogatory comment toward me along with a derogatory comment about other posts I've made.
Yes, hold onto those personal values and what you want in life and figure out why you aren't getting it.
To "mine" own self, be true.
and check out some new cliche material cause that phrase is getting so boring and obviously is not working for those that are looking for someone else to be true to. | |
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| Why is it so hard to find a relationship when one is middle aged?
Posted: 2/15/2008 5:33:08 AM |
If you look for a relationship you will find it if:
You're not creepy
Your not delusional
Your available
You don't lecture others as to what is 'right'
You let others judge you
You use your brains
You don't lecture others as to what is wrong
Your over prior relationship hang-ups
Your realistic
Big Whoop, nothing earth shattering here. You want to impress me? Show me two people that both meet the above criteria, are looking for the same type of relationship, at the same time, in the same time zone.
But then I guess that would disqualify the realistic requirement. | |
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| Why is it so hard to find a relationship when one is middle aged?
Posted: 2/15/2008 5:58:42 AM |
Big Whoop, nothing earth shattering here. You want to impress me? Show me two people that both meet the above criteria, are looking for the same type of relationship, at the same time, in the same time zone.
But then I guess that would disqualify the realistic requirement.
Did you deliberately omit the last line...
If you look for a relationship you will find it if:
You can accept your not finding relationships because of something that you are doing
or are you trying to demonstrate my point?
Don't worry I'm not trying to impress you and there's plenty of people in every time zone that are getting dates and finding compatible relationships.
"Big Whoop", I haven't heard that since high school. | |
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