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| Why is it so hard to find a relationship when one is middle aged?
Posted: 10/29/2006 12:06:02 AM |  we all learn as we go what we are likes and dislikes are, and as we get older most of us have already spent time alone, are more settled in our lives and less likely to want someone to upset our routine. I think there are lots of single people out there male and female, but since we are not likely to be having more children there is no urgency in finding a partner. by now most of us middle aged folks have seen the good and bad side of relationships, through our own experiences and those close to us. I am not going to give up my life as it is for any relationship but if the right person comes along would certainly be willing to pursue it. Nothing wrong with being picky, it is only using the knowledge we have accumulated, and the wisdom that middle age brings . ,, am sure most have said, if I only knew then what i know now. ..... well now we know it... | |
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| Why is it so hard to find a relationship when one is middle aged?
Posted: 10/29/2006 3:40:20 AM | I have posted before, but a thought just crossed my mind. What is so wrong with being alone? I mean you all have friends and family. It isn't like you are all by your self in this big wide world.
Having some one is nice, but it isn't a matter of life or death to be in a relationship. I mean if this is the case then your lost.
If you are that desperate then you are going to be very unhappy. You will take any thing just not to be alone. I mean haven't you already done all the husband, kids, grand kids thingy? Isn't it time now to do for JUST YOU??? Getting up when you want, not having to worry about pleasing any one but your self, and if you feel like dinner at 9 pm that's okay to.
So heads up people, it is okay to be alone. It must be the society that we live in, where if your not hooked up with some then you a dork. You can be the life of the party all by your self.
So ladies, slip on those red high heels, and that sexy little dress you have been saving for a special occasion and go and kick your heels up. Walk with your head up high and tell the world that you are complete with out holding on to some one. You a person and you don't need an extension to be some one great. Because your great all by your self.  S. | |
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| Why is it so hard to find a relationship when one is middle aged?
Posted: 10/29/2006 4:22:08 AM | I will never be old, and will wait till I am 90 to even thing of middle age. LOL!!!!!
But the reality of it all. Most men my age want women my age to date and I can understand that. I have dated a lot and have found very nice men. We do have nice dates and hit it off very well. But when they want to settle down, they want much younger and arm candy.
I am a pretty woman, but I would never be a gold digger or do I have to worry about someone to support me and my childern. (Was unable to have them.) But some how I will always be a good friend. I even get invited to the weddings???
Yes, I am picky also. And I usally pick very intelligent men. But, what I want to kow is why they pick younger women with kids and end up devorcing them in a few years. OK, men! Just with what head are you thinging with??? 
And before you say it. I heard that one from my very churchy and 97 years old grandmother when I was 17. | |
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| Why is it so hard to find a relationship when one is middle aged?
Posted: 10/29/2006 8:14:51 AM | "So heads up people, it is okay to be alone. It must be the society that we live in, where if your not hooked up with some then you a dork. You can be the life of the party all by your self."
"You a person and you don't need an extension to be some one great. Because your great all by your self."
I couldn't agree more with the above.
All my family have passed away. My responsibilites of others have ended for everyone but myself".
" If you are that desperate then you are going to be very unhappy." So true. I am so glad that I have learned to enjoy life. I have been blessed with many wonderful long term friends. Holidays come along, and most times I plan a trip to my favourite Latin country where I have friends that I love very much being with.
If I met the right person, I would want to be in a relationship with them. So far I haven't met that person. What I have done is to do more things that I enjoy than I ever did when I was in a relationship.
Being happy and enjoying life is a choice, not a result of being in a relationship. | |
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| Why is it so hard to find a relationship when one is middle aged?
Posted: 10/29/2006 8:17:37 AM | I agree with that too. I am single and happy, and if I happen to meet someone, all the better, but it certainly doesn't take all my time and energy looking for a relationship. I can be happy sitting home alone with my furry friends or going out with friends!
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| Why is it so hard to find a relationship when one is middle aged?
Posted: 10/29/2006 5:17:45 PM | | I think that maybe some of us "middle agers" get a bit lazy in trying to form a good relationship (not me, of course) and we expect the other person to take the lead. (not me, of course) Many of us have been alone for awhile (not me, of course) and we are not willing to make the necessary sacrafices and compromises (not me, of course) required for a successful and meaningful relationship. (not me, of course) Who would be dumb enough to post what I just did? (not me, of course) | |
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| Why is it so hard to find a relationship when one is middle aged?
Posted: 10/29/2006 5:44:21 PM | Hard is not the word for it.
Impossible. I hardly get a date.
and If I do I dont enjoy myself. I doubt he does also.
Not as ir I have changed alot.
Still look good.
gee i used to have tonnes of men after me
gee
well it is harder
AND I CANT FIGURE IT OUT, NEVER WILL | |
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| Why is it so hard to find a relationship when one is middle aged?
Posted: 10/30/2006 1:53:38 AM | cute post
I think that maybe some of us "middle agers" get a bit lazy in trying to form a good relationship (not me, of course) and we expect the other person to take the lead. (not me, of course) Many of us have been alone for awhile (not me, of course) and we are not willing to make the necessary sacrafices and compromises (not me, of course) required for a successful and meaningful relationship. (not me, of course) Who would be dumb enough to post what I just did? (not me, of course)
Dragonpoo, not me either 
And what is with the name? I don't think I ever saw dragon poo and dont ever want to see any in the future either. lol  | |
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| Why is it so hard to find a relationship when one is middle aged?
Posted: 10/30/2006 3:54:36 AM | | I think you hit the nail on the head with the word *lazy*, but I see it in a different way. We have become a society used to *instant*...instant meals in the microwave, instant mail from the net etc...I think we are looking for that *instant* relationship. Now I admit, at times I have been guilty of this as well. We oftentimes look at that first meeting/date being an all or nothing. If it isn't there *instantly* we move on. Perhaps we should slow down, long enough for a second, or even a third look before making our decisions. If we weren't so lazy, perhaps our world, and the people in it, would not be so disposable. | |
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| Why is it so hard to find a relationship when one is middle aged?
Posted: 10/30/2006 8:36:10 AM | ok, folks ... here's what i need for a relationship:
1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.
2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.
3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to
you.
4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.
5. It is important that these four men don't know each other.
ok, ok, so it's not a serious post (at least that's my story and I'm sticking to it). | |
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| Why is it so hard to find a relationship when one is middle aged?
Posted: 10/30/2006 9:58:13 AM | I have been single for 15 yrs (and I mean single) now I think I would like to maybe find someone to grow old with. It would be nice to find someone to ask you out. Have things changed so much that I'm so out of how you get a date? Or at least met someone? What am I doing wrong? I'm happy with my life as it is but now and then going out with the male kind would be nice. So I make them write through this, then do the Instant mess, then the phone # is it wrong to try and be safe from the ax murders? | |
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| Why is it so hard to find a relationship when one is middle aged?
Posted: 10/30/2006 7:11:35 PM | | One thing that would help, is if single men and women all wore shirts that said "Single" on them when they went to Wal-Mart :) crazy idea? yeah, but what if we all us tried it? Might be the end of online dating :) and sometimes crazy ideas have worked. Look what flying a kite in a storm did for the world. lol. | |
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| Why is it so hard to find a relationship when one is middle aged?
Posted: 10/30/2006 8:07:49 PM | Shirts that say "Single". - What happens if Wal Mart isn't where you shop?
I would bet that more married people buy single shirts than singles.
Back to topic. Two thing make it hard to find a relationship when middle aged:
1) People who know what they want
2) People who don't know what they want
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| Why is it so hard to find a relationship when one is middle aged?
Posted: 10/30/2006 9:43:38 PM | Actually, I found it not very difficult at all. Someone decided that they like my opinions and contacted me. We've dated a few times and it's been quite enjoyable.
I felt like changing my profile...
Maybe it's a myth that it's hard to find someone here or is it something I did? I don't know.
Thats my story and I'm sticking with it!
Walls, boundaries... We all set them up forgetting to put windows in. I know a good contractor that helped me with walls, doors and windows and she does a great job quick but leaves the mess for you to clean up. | |
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| Why is it so hard to find a relationship when one is middle aged?
Posted: 10/31/2006 12:34:23 AM | I am almost past middle-age, being 64 but I have been out in the dating field for 8 years.
Here is what I have found out. The men want the woman they married, in that she must look like that slim little thing they walked down the aisle with thirty or forty years ago. However they often neglect to mention that they are carrying a good-sized "hubbard squash" in front of them.
If I were to be in a crowd of 60 plus people, I would fit in and look fairly average . I keep my photos up to date and since I am no beauty, but reasonable looking, I do not get many fishing lines dropped my way. I do much better if a man is willing to correspond or chat with me and thus get to know me a little. | |
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| Why is it so hard to find a relationship when one is middle aged?
Posted: 10/31/2006 7:13:09 AM | I must admit... at first I was looking for a relationship, but not anymore. I've been single for too many years. Have gotten use to the way things have turned out. However, I would still like to find someone to communicate with. Don't matter if their from Canada, south, east, or west from here. To meet "friendship" doesn't have to be just local.
It would be nice to have "friends" throughout the country to correspond with.
Personally, I feel trying to "find someone" at this point in MY life is too much like it was when I was a teenager, and even then wasn't always easy. I've become comfortable with my life the way it is, but still, it would be nice to have someone to write to just to say hello, or get to know as "penpals."
I don't NEED someone in my life, but I would LIKE to have someone to share it with, just the same. Relationships have the tendency to come and go all of the time... but a friendship can be priceless, and last throughout time, also.
As far as "hard to find a relationship at middle age"... if the right does come along, I would welcome that hands down. But if I don't... I'm not gonna lose sleep over it, neither. I know the type of person that I am. I know that I still have the capabilities to love, and to show compassion, and romance for that right "one."
For myself, I would like to have a person where I love more that day than I did the previous day. That person that would light up any room, and every time I seen her... my heart would flip-flop just because I was so thrilled to be part of her life. But reality tells me, chances are that I'll never come across that again in my life. I had experienced such a woman ONCE in my life, years ago. And though I may never experience that feeling again... at least I can say that I had. And that was truly the greatest feeling that I have EVER experienced. | |
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| Why is it so hard to find a relationship when one is middle aged?
Posted: 10/31/2006 8:57:17 AM | Those of us who are middle-aged now also got a pretty raw deal from the start. Think about it. Relationships have always been tough for us, even when we were younger.
In our parent's day, there was an established and well known methodology to courtship. For us, that all went out the window. A lot of guys bought into the "Playboy" philosophy. Too many women bit into the Helen Gurly Brown fiasco of "having it all". The rules changed with the weather. We all felt the pressure of going for too many things that we never wanted at all. Most of the time we didn't know which ear to stand on. And it is still going on even today.
Is it any real wonder that the career woman whose biological clock ran down just can't meet minds with the gray-bearded hippie who rolls joints in his Wall Street Journal? How many draft card burners voted for Bush? How many Barnard grads turned into vegan, Wiccan feministas?
That's how it went down. Sure ,some of it is our fault, but some of it is our misfortune too. | |
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