| Why is it so hard to find a relationship when one is middle aged?
Posted: 4/17/2008 8:04:32 PM | Thanks, Ann Marie........ I know a lot of men and women who have no problem finding happy fun relationships when they hit 65, 70, and even 80. It's the ones in their mid 50's to mid 60's who seem to be having the problems....... And it's mostly expectations that cause the problem. No women or men they meet are attractive "enough". They are still looking for what they had when they were in their 30's. Or they are just freed from bad relationships and aloneness is a blessing after that but there comes a time when men start to see older women as attractive again, when playing and laughing and having someone to do things with becomes the definition of love again instead of sex, skydiving, and rock climbing or kayaking........... | |
|
| Why is it so hard to find a relationship when one is middle aged?
Posted: 4/17/2008 9:49:30 PM |
I know a lot of men and women who have no problem finding happy fun relationships when they hit 65, 70, and even 80. It's the ones in their mid 50's to mid 60's who seem to be having the problems.......
I think you can chalk alot of that up to the "frisky fifties" phenomenon!
LH | |
|
| Why is it so hard to find a relationship when one is middle aged?
Posted: 4/18/2008 3:06:51 PM | moraima you are so right!
especially that line about "better to be alone" than lonely with someone else...I am , like you single and have been for about 6 years after a 10 year relationship which ended badly. It took me a while to find my footing again and finish (are we ever?) raising my then teen age daughter before I decided i was "ready" to look for someone who might be "the one"...and
like you..I look around and see people in relationships who are miserable but somehow "proud" or something that they are 'not alone'..wow..is that sad or what?
I'd like to think that I have lots of love and life left in me..i know I do..however the right person who is not intimidated by me, who is kind and interested in life has yet to show up!..ha ha..oh well..
Hope springs eternal I like to say and I will enjoy my time nevertheless..
Never give up! but ..don't give in! | |
|
| Why is it so hard to find a relationship when one is middle aged?
Posted: 4/18/2008 4:10:31 PM |
I think you can chalk alot of that up to the "frisky fifties" phenomenon!
Oh, I love that........."frisky fifties"
I caught my 80 year old neighbor kissing his 81 year old wife in their hallway and they were pretty frisky in their eighties! Frisky is fun! | |
|
| Why is it so hard to find a relationship when one is middle aged?
Posted: 4/19/2008 5:50:45 PM | | I read further back in the post about marketing. Too honest for my own good but I'm not going to exagerate to "sell myself" so to speak. I'm in decent shape, work hard am very open with not alot of "issues" but still get no response. Ah well, sometimes like said before btr to be alone than with someone and lonely. | |
|
| Why is it so hard to find a relationship when one is middle aged?
Posted: 4/20/2008 5:34:14 AM | | The responses I get seem to be from men in other countries or African Americans. OTA student you sound great, a lot has to do with where we live it seems, and maybe too many women like men who have a lot of issues who have a lot of money and no substance? | |
|
| Why is it so hard to find a relationship when one is middle aged?
Posted: 4/20/2008 5:51:59 AM | When the relationship you seek is 'fairy tale' it's difficult.
When you need to dominate the relationship, it's difficult.
When you need to be dominated in the relationship, it's difficult
When you act like people that don't think like you are inferior, it's difficult
When you act like you have superior 'values' than others, it's dificult
When you need to find someone to blame for not finding relationships, there's only one place to look,
The mirror | |
|
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
decca5
|
Joined: 7/2/2008
Msg: 514 | |
| Why is it so hard to find a relationship when one is middle aged?
Posted: 7/26/2008 5:26:16 PM | I have found it hard to find a man that looks human!! They lie about their age, weight, height and their photos, in some cases, do them no justice and I think a man who bears a naked chest or wars dark glasses or has a blurred photo has something to hide and has to be one of the untouchables. I do not want a man with chins that fold down onto his chest!!
In my area they all look like a sack of potatoes and if I am going to date, this time he has to be right in as many ways as possible.
It is hard to find a date when you are nearing 60 as you do not want to waste your life ever again on "no hopers"
I know I maybe picky but at my age I will not settle for less. I am beginning to think men prefer their relationships with online dating rather than doing the dating in the flesh, so to speak.
Surely I am not on my own with these thoughts. | |
|
| |
| Why is it so hard to find a relationship when one is middle aged?
Posted: 4/19/2009 8:25:03 PM |  "I think it is a good thing that we find it hard to find a relationship when 45+. It means that we aren't dependant on being in a relationship, and aren't willing to waste time with people that we know won't make us want to be with them."
I agree with you, moraima. | |
|
| Why is it so hard to find a relationship when one is middle aged?
Posted: 5/13/2009 7:51:30 PM | Maybe the men and women today have been hurt so terribly that they just can't seem to believe in the human race anymore. if that is the case then they need to remove themseves from the sights and stop wasting others time.
However when the right guy / gal comes across the right guy / gal and the chemistry is there they really should pursue it. Time is short and we have no guarentee of tomorrow.It is better to, of loved even if for a short while ,than to never have experienced loving or being loved.
I have tried to put the past hurt and all behind me and leave it there,life moves forward for us not backward. Our lives are only what WE MAKE THEM.
Good luck on your search.
Just one question ? What is age but a number,love knows all ages and age shouldn't matter if the feelin is there.
Always Sharon | |
|
| Why is it so hard to find a relationship when one is middle aged?
Posted: 5/13/2009 7:55:23 PM | Well have to say? That if what I met up with, or rather didn't meet with, is any indication of what is available at our age? Count me out! Never met this man, yet he had the balls to think our first meeting would be a booty call? And I never once talked to him with any sexual connotations! According to him, I have to pay for my fellow female friends and how they contact him. If the male population is like this person? I choose to remain on my own. Having said that, I am talking to a nice, pleasant, respectful fellow whom I hope to meet soon. Gawd, this is definately not for the frail of heart! | |
|
| |
| Why is it so hard to find a relationship when one is middle aged?
Posted: 5/13/2009 8:56:37 PM | | There are a few individuals, who (judging by their profiles and consistently thoughtful contribution to these forums) are either incredibly skilled fakers, or genuinely admirable people. I choose to assume the latter. And elementary logic suggests that if they don't succeed, the rest of us don't have a chance. Duly noted, and surely not a product of coincidence, is that (even after having been confronted by the common pig) one of these has a "pleasant respectful fellow" waiting in line. This is how it should be. | |
|
| Why is it so hard to find a relationship when one is middle aged?
Posted: 5/13/2009 9:23:19 PM | I think we teach others how to treat us and if we walk away when we are not treated as we want to be, we stop adding bricks to our walls of disallusionment and hurt. We free ourselves to be available for something wonderful.
I think it is more difficult because we come with so much experience, but honestly, I do believe that it is quite possible. | |
|
| Why is it so hard to find a relationship when one is middle aged?
Posted: 5/13/2009 10:08:03 PM | | What I have seen is the women are entrenched in their own company, happy to be rid of the last one, way too good for any of the men at hand, whom they ignore or abuse, keeping busy with a mix of profound crone wisdom and eerie outbursts of sexual glee, and life is good, then one day they post saying how they have been seeing a great guy for a couple of weeks, it's all coming back to them about how wonderful love can be, and for nobody else to give up because it really can happen! Now, I am not sure what the men they found had been doing all that time, but it was probably not looking for a relationship. It seems to me that what women do is slowly emerge from some kind of hibernation and then as soon as they are ready again, they pounce. Trying to get near one when she is in that dormant state is pointless. You almost have to be standing there waiting for her to come out that first day, and be the first man she sees. | |
|
| Why is it so hard to find a relationship when one is middle aged?
Posted: 5/13/2009 10:47:30 PM | Perhaps it's because life tends to make us defensive- much moreso than when we were younger. I know the verbage is definitely more terse IMHO.
People laugh at the syrupy-sweetness of teenage puppy-love, but I've noted with my kids growing up that teens express far fewer angry or hurtful words even when they're having relational problems I remember...and want to live that type of lifestyle with my partner. | |
|
Home
login 
