| What if the love of your life has genital herpes?
Posted: 11/3/2006 11:03:08 AM | I really like Sperenza's reply... some words that you would probably be wise to take seriously. As for the boy that kissed his mother on the mouth and contracting the herpes virus... it is my understanding that she probably had a cold sore which is a type of herpes virus. Everybody I know has had a cold sore at one time or another. I doubt that she gave him genital herpes by just a kiss. Good Luck to you, Hon. It is your decision alone, but I would evaluate my own thoughts and feelings  about this man and take it from there. Getting others advice is okay, but in the end it is all up to you... not us.  ~~~WildFire65 | |
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| What if the love of your life has genital herpes?
Posted: 11/5/2006 10:21:52 AM | Read your question... you called him the love of your life! Seems to me if that is true you will never truly be happy unless you are with him. No matter the situation.
Herpes? Half of men and women in the Nation has herpes per the statistics I have read.
If you dont' want to be with him because of herpes, than you never really loved him, your love is conditional and that is not love.
Would you feel differently if he lost a leg or both legs for that matter? Whats the difference? Either you love him or you don't, if this is an issue for you than I would say that your love is conditional, same as not real. Kind of like loving a rich man, and then when he loses everything you suddenly fall out of love with him.
You can have herpes and still have a quality relationship including sex... do some research.
Good luck to you and to him
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anth28
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Joined: 9/28/2006
Msg: 79 | |
| What if the love of your life has genital herpes?
Posted: 11/5/2006 10:22:41 AM | | Oral herpes type HSV-1 is a very common infection and many people have it. It is also known as a cold sore. HSV-2 genital herpes is carried by 1 in five people apparently. Oral herpes can be transmitted to the genital area through oral sex contrary to belief, so if your partner has a cold sore at the time, it is advisable to not allow them to come near that region. People with herpes are not lepers and should not be tossed out of the dating game because of it. However, it is indeed a very personal choice to be involved with someone who has it, as you are taking a risk of contracting the disease. In the olden days, it was believed that you had to see sores in order to contract herpes, but we are finding that this is no longer the case. Someone can look perfectly fine with no infection and still be contagious. They may not even know they have it themseleves, moreso if they are women and the infection is internal. Condoms work, but only on covered areas. So as you can see, it is a very easy disease to catch. I would say if you really love this person, obstain from sex until you are certain this is the only person for you and then keep an open line of communication between the two of you in order to reduce your chance of infection. | |
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| What if the love of your life has genital herpes?
Posted: 11/5/2006 10:26:10 AM | | 1993? and your still not together? Sounds like herpes is the least of your problems to me. But to answer the question, herpes is not that big of a deal, according to the CDC one in four of us have it anyway. Unless you have other health issues and you seriously want to, then why not. I probably wouldn't, but I'm not in love either... | |
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| What if the love of your life has genital herpes?
Posted: 11/5/2006 10:31:55 AM | EDUCATE, EDUCATE, EDUCATE!!!....and after you have done this....read up on it some more!!..
Talk to him and then decide what you are going to do.
If he is worth it then the two of you will be able to get through this | |
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Smjle
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Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 85 | |
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| What if the love of your life has genital herpes?
Posted: 11/5/2006 2:34:16 PM | I AGREE WITH MS INDEPENDANT,,,THE STD ISNT THE PROB APPARENTLY HE DOESNT MAKE REAL GOOD JUDGMENT CALLS OR TAKE THE RELATIONSHIP SERIOUSLY ,NEXT TIME IT COULD BE SOMTHING WAY WORSE THAN HERPIES | |
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| What if the love of your life has genital herpes?
Posted: 11/6/2006 11:05:39 PM | I think the person who mentioned that your lives are full of drama perhaps wasn't meaning it as a compliment - more as a comment on the whole thing.
I definitely didn't mean it as a compliment. More like a vague "get your shit together." | |
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| What if the love of your life has genital herpes?
Posted: 11/6/2006 11:13:16 PM | if they are the love of my life, i'm thinking it wouldn't be important. but, loves of life are not large in number...so i'm thinking, it would be something i am sure of...not just toying with.
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| What if the love of your life has genital herpes?
Posted: 11/7/2006 6:11:06 AM | | I think the point that you are missing here is NOT the genital herpes...but the fact that he cheated on you and by virtues of that, got the herpes. I know that you love him...and it's easier said than done..but infidelity ( with its bad karma - herpes in this case ) is a very hard thing to take...and frankly, I wouldn't give him another chance. But judging from your history I guess, it's hard for you to just say " Ok, I am leaving him " and actually do it. But remember the fact that he did cheat on you. | |
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| What if the love of your life has genital herpes?
Posted: 11/7/2006 6:20:06 AM | Bingo! H-o-t-H,....thats what i was trying to briefly say a few posts ago...  an STD is just that,...and NO, its not like "he lost an arm or a leg," etcetc,..or some critical onset of Nature, ...He went and #%&*@! cheated...~until the next time~ Hugs...    | |
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| What if the love of your life has genital herpes?
Posted: 11/7/2006 9:58:39 AM | I have to admit that this thread has been a real eye-opener for me.
Personally, I cannot not begin to comprehend why anyone would pursue a personal (and, as a result) sexual relationship with someone who has an STD of any kind. There are millions of people out there - millions who will not endanger your health in some way.
I am really surprised to see that so many people say it's just no big deal if he/she has an STD...because it's "all for love"...or something like that. Maybe it's just that I haven't experienced to the same degree this much-lauded emotion that convinces people to set aside thier own health just so they can be with one specific person.
One poster even went so far as to say that, if you like them enough, the STD is "something special for you to share". How inane and utterly stupid.
Yes, you can take precautions and, yes, everyone should become as educated as possible about STDs and other health issues. However, it's a simple fact that you drastically increase your chances of contracting the infection and/or disease by getting into a romantic/physical relationship with someone who is already infected.
When you are talking about your health, is "love' or any one person worth it?
To me, no. There are plenty of other people out there.
But, like I said, this thead has been VERY educational for me in that I never thought there would be such a high percentage of people who think the STD isn't that big of a deal. | |
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| What if the love of your life has genital herpes?
Posted: 11/7/2006 10:15:02 AM | There is some unGodly statistic that reports that about 60% (could be off) of the population has either active GH or they are carriers.
At least he told you.
If you love him and plan to marry, then he can take medicine for outbreaks and you all just need to be very careful between outbreaks. There is a slight chance that you could never contract it, however, very slight.
But...if it were me, I'd do it. | |
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| What if the love of your life has genital herpes?
Posted: 11/7/2006 5:57:18 PM | I think we need to realize the question was, what if the Love of your life has herpes?
I understand the OP’s position, but overall people with GH are going to have a rough go of it. At what point during your getting to know you phase, do you let them know? Of course it would have to be before sex, if you had any morals at all. But what is society to do with these people? If the numbers I read from the CDC were accurate, (1 in 4) are we to group all of these people together, give them tattoos on there forehead and indicate they may only love others with GH? We all know it won’t work that way. This isn’t AIDS were talking about, GH is a controllable disease, unless you have other illnesses that it can severely effect it is not out of the question to tolerate it in someone that we call, “The love of our life” But that is the main thing, those with the disease must have the responsibility to control it, they could be endangering someone's life if they are not up front about it. Unfortunately the type of behavior that gave you the disease is not saying well for how you conduct your affairs, this should be a major consideration when it comes to taking on someone with the problem.
Tough call no matter how you slice it, but only a call that can be made by the individual with that choice, and I would not think less of them for making the choice. | |
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| What if the love of your life has genital herpes?
Posted: 1/6/2007 4:01:40 PM | | It shouldn't matter. If you truly love him who cares if he has herpes. It's only contagious when he's in an outbreak and You'd know because you could see them. Besides you could get herpes just by a man who had a coldsore giving you oral sex. If you love him hon by all means marry him who cares if he has herpes | |
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| What if the love of your life has genital herpes?
Posted: 1/6/2007 4:36:01 PM | uuhhhh,,,I got drunk?? why can't I find a woman that will buy that excuse,,but uno what I really think happened? a bunch of really bad and evil strippers took him out back and raped him,,,that poor poor man. I totally agree with the others on this thread that say the herpes are the least of the problem here.
good luck. | |
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| What if the love of your life has genital herpes?
Posted: 1/16/2007 9:59:32 AM | | with all the other serious and life threatning things out there a person can get "herpies "seem to be very trivial and to pass up on love for fear of getting them? no I dont think I would .I have never had a cold sore but i no many who have and it dosent seem to be a big deal.back in the old days it was considered bad news but now compaired to aids ..??.hiv?? | |
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