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Cadkaw
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Joined: 5/19/2006
Msg: 101 | |
| What if the love of your life has genital herpes?
Posted: 1/16/2007 10:11:33 AM | | Ok, well, If the love of your life has herpes, you have to ask yourself two things... Can you accept the fact that you may not ever have an intimate encounter with said person, and if you do, you will be stuck with stds for the rest of your life, and second, are you sure the opposite person feels the same way about you? If the answer to both these questions are yes, then go for it, as long as no one cheats, you can both be std carriers together, without affecting anyone else :D just remember, If being with him is a mistake, you will live with it for the rest of your life, Mind you, who else would you two have if not eachother after that point? | |
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| What if the love of your life has genital herpes?
Posted: 1/27/2007 9:06:01 PM | ya know, it just amazes me how so many people are simply clueless to the fact that they could be living with herpes. A very good friend of mine has NEVER had an obvious outbreak, but did ask to be tested with the "Western Blot test" and it was found that she does have genital herpes (not sure if it is HSV1 genitally or HSV2). She only asked to be tested, due to another mutual friend has herpes and my friend was concerned about her status.
Someone else mentioned that after a person has lived with herpes that it becomes less and less of an issue and I would have to say that based on what I've read and talked with others about this issue, I would say this is very true for the majority of people living with herpes. Based on what I've read from other people's experiences (google: herpes true stories) their outbreaks became less and less severe over time, meaning that living with genital herpes was not nearly as bad as they thought they were "doomed" to when they had their ititial outbreak. Now, there are some cases of herpes, I believe it's called Herpes Neuralgia and very rare as far as the 1 in 4 figures are concerned is the more, shall I say, debilitating (sp?) of the herpes virus conditions. Another poster mentioned that if one person has HSV2, that they might not get that virus? Hmmm, so you're saying that a person can get neuralgia from a person who is HSV2 positive? I'd have to see that on some medical journal before I'd believe that as it just doesn't seem possible.
Did you know that just because you say you've "been tested" and you're "clean" that herpes testing is not a standard test which is run by clinics or doctors offices. You HAVE to ask for the test to be done.
You WILL NOT DIE from herpes. There are some extreme cases and situations. Yes, you can have children and you don't HAVE to have them via cesearean (sp?), however if you are having an outbreak (and your doctor should be aware of your status)
I'm sorry that I digressed so much from the original question, but so many of the comments which were made and were sooooooo off base!! Ah geez.
My recommendation to every single one of you, especially those of you who are so worried about getting it, should really think twice about sleeping around (as I suspect that you are under the impression that any one you sleep with will be totally honest and upfront, because that is NOT always the case). From what I have seen, the HONEST ones are the Keepers and the ones who can not handle the honesty, well, maybe they simply aren't as interested in a long term relationship as the person who felt it was important to share something so personal with someone in which they had interest in having an intimate relationship with. Ah, my recommendation is; go out on a date together and both of you have a full battery of STD testing done!! Why not?  Because as many others have stated, you could have it and not even know it. Sure, it might not be something you want to hear about or deal with, but wouldn't you rather know? I know I would so that I could deal with the situation responsibly. Would I turn someone away with herpes? It would depend on how much I liked them to begin with, but if they were the "love of my life", I'd have to seriously consider taking the relationship one step further.
It appears as though the original poster has removed her profile, but I would love to know what she ever decided to do. Someone else said that maybe the fellow from Oregon had the virus before and never told her? I have to say, yes, that's very possible as many people live in denial with herpes and try to sugar coat it after the fact after they have gone through the guilt of not disclosing their status. You'd be amazed at how many people agonize over having to have "the talk", how difficult it is for them to "tell". Who wants to be rejected?
Oh and one more thing, HSV2 genitally does not like the mouth area so much, meaning that cases of HSV2 very rarely show up on the face, but that transferring a basic "coldsore" which is called oral herpes aka: HSV1 can be transmitted to the genital area which then becomes HSV1 genitally. HSV1 genitally is the less severe of the genital herpes viruses and those who have that variation, may experience outbreaks, once every 3 years, if that and many times, the outbreaks are caused by stress. Mind you, every person who lives with herpes, reacts differently to the virus, some claim that diet affects them, some women claim they have outbreaks around their menstrual cycle?? The only death's I've ever read about, sadly was someone committed suicide because they were so ashamed at having been diagnosed with herpes and felt as though they would never be loved. I've also read some disheartening stories about neonatal herpes, but as long as you have a good doctor, you can still have a normal childbirth. | |
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| What if the love of your life has genital herpes?
Posted: 1/27/2007 9:13:40 PM | and one more thing, yes, even though a person might not be having an obvious outbreak, they could still be experiencing "asymptomatic shedding" and unfortunately a condom as others have stated is no guarantee of being totally protected because many times, the "contagious" area can not be covered by the condom. Again, chances are you won't die from it, but it will simply put a cramp in your carefree sex life.  | |
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| What if the love of your life has genital herpes?
Posted: 1/8/2008 1:14:15 PM | What if the love of your life has genital herpes...didnt feel like going through all pages...thats why I like the option of just being able to respond to OP...
love is blind babydoll...heart cant 'see' (gotta admit...wonder if ya all got married, 2 yrs later here...hope ur both happy little clams)
if this thread takes off again, i'll add 2 more cents (from a nurses point of view...the 'distress' of this condition...how Dr. and I treated such cases...poor babies...horrible cases....i've had so many careers...lordy) | |
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| What if the love of your life has genital herpes?
Posted: 1/8/2008 1:42:00 PM | If it is the one you want to be with and make it permanent, then that is the way it is......
There are so many drugs out there now that can help minimize the chances of getting it from your partner, along with a deep commitment to each other to share the times when you know that symptoms are happening to let you know that an outbreak will be coming shortly, and avoid infecting the other out of respect for each other.
It is sad that I have had to let potential partners go because they had herpes and I do not, and in those days there just were not the drugs or information enough to educate all to understand the "pro's and "con's" of having a relationship with another that had the disease.
I appreciated all that let me know up front that they had it, and let me make the decision about being intimate or not, talking with their physicians and discussing what the chance would be for infection if we had that relationship.
There are some that I have met from here or know from the forums that have herpes and want to be discreet about it but cared enough about me to inform me of that infliction long before we ever got to the point of having sex with one another or even meeting. I respect them for it, and remain their friend for as long as they care to have me around, and if we were to ever want to make it permanent, having herpes would just be another item on the list of things to talk and think about......
Just my opinion.......   | |
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| What if the love of your life has genital herpes?
Posted: 1/20/2009 2:30:57 PM | First off, you need to be sure he has HSV-2 and not HSV-1. People can get the 2 mixed up, and because they have an outbreak in the gential area, assume they have HSV-2. Which in some cases is not true. They have HSV-1. If he has HSV-1 the odds of passing this on to you may be less.
Be thankful that he was honest with you. Herpes isn't the end of the world. We are just in a world where people aren't educated. (Seen that from the other posts)
Educate yourself, be aware, and keep the lines of communication open. It will work out. I'd say if he is drinking and going out and not knowing what he is doing, that is where your problem lays. | |
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| What if the love of your life has genital herpes?
Posted: 6/6/2009 2:07:57 AM | Herpes does not make a person. It is sad that the stripper had so lack of respect for herself to NOT tell him before they had sex. However.. She made a choice for him. It goes both ways.. People dont talk about it at all..
If you decide to have a relationship with him there are ways to have sex and being safe. Make sure you talk to you girlfriends if they have had an encounter with Herpes or HPV (genital warts).
I have talked to many people who get Herpes or HPV cause their partner cheated on them. We live in America and are able to make choices for ourselves til someone makes one for us. If you care about him... Educate yourself on the topic. | |
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| What if the love of your life has genital herpes?
Posted: 6/6/2009 2:31:07 AM | | I'd be far more concerned about the fact he is the type of man who gets drunk and sleeps with a stripper than that he has herpes. Ick...to having a one night stand with a stripper at your birthday party 'cause you are drunk. What a sleaze.... | |
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| What if the love of your life has genital herpes?
Posted: 6/6/2009 2:49:04 AM | I wouldn’t be surprise if he lied to you about his herpes. He used that as an excuse because he probably has another woman. He didn’t want to chuck you his backup woman away, why he remained close to you. Look at this way his last woman probably ran off because he is just no good. Now he wants you - AGAIN and for how long this time? LOL. How would you know the truth if you both live states apart.
At first reading this, I thought okay no one is perfect and it’s your journey so whatever you two do if it works why not. Then half way down I realise maybe you are his puppet and he is just stringing you along.
I would say bye bye to him and the little critters in his pants | |
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| What if the love of your life has genital herpes?
Posted: 6/6/2009 2:59:56 AM | | EEWWW YUK NO WAY, if someone has herpes absolutly not even if yo think you may love the person, its not like cancer or something that they didnt ask for they just simpley didnt take care of themselves. | |
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| What if the love of your life has genital herpes?
Posted: 6/6/2009 9:49:05 AM | EEWWW YUK NO WAY, if someone has herpes absolutly not even if yo think you may love the person, its not like cancer or something that they didnt ask for they just simpley didnt take care of themselves.
I can tell by the way you spell, that you are a dumb twit. Those of us with herpes did not take care of ourselves? Um, I have had oral HSV-1 since I was a kid you moron, do you think I asked for HSV? How the hell was I supposed to take care of myself to prevent getting HSV as a kid?
There are tons, literally TONS of people who contracted GHSV after only sleeping with a couple of people. Having HSV does not make you promiscuous or dirty, not everyone who contracted it slept with a slew of people. Some were cheated on while involved in monogamous relationships, others were raped. Yes, there are some who were careless and did have many unprotected encounters, but more often than not those who have GHSV were not careless with their health.
HSV is very common, those who do not have it (at least type 1) are in the minority. Those who do not have genital HSV-2 should guard themselves against contracting it. However, if I were to find someone who had GHSV but they were honest and I found them to be the love of my life I would pursue a relationship with that person and accept the risk. True genuine love is difficult to find, HSV or not. | |
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| What if the love of your life has genital herpes?
Posted: 6/6/2009 10:38:25 AM | Some of the stupid comments by people on here, just blow my mind.
90% of us has HSV1, got that? Even without an outbreak, we can pass it on to someone else. Honestly, how many people are you going to kiss, when they have an obvious cold sore on their lip? You can transfer it to your genitals, even without an outbreak. Got it so far?
Handwashing, cleanliness wont take away the risk, cause you arent washing your hand or mouth while you are having sex. HSV 1 HSV2. The medical field doesnt really differentiate between the 2. It isnt part of the standard STD testing package, because it is so prevalent. You can get a blood test at your doctor's office specific for HSV 1 and 2, or you can culture a sore. Still with me here?
Valtrex, exaulted at being the cure, is useless. It "MAY" decrease your sick of outbreaks, but you can still pass it on in between outbreaks. WHY are we buying the valtrex? Someone earlier posted that it decreases outbreaks to once or twice a year. Most people dont have that many outbreaks to begin with. If you actually listen to the valtrex ads, they tell you it doesnt stop transmission. Has anyone read the side effects of valtrex? The cure is worse than the problem. The ads do nothing but prey on people's fears and charge them hundreds of dollars a month. Condoms are useless in decreasing the spread. The only way you know for sure, that you dont have either, and wont get either, is to have the bloodwork, and never have sex, or even kiss again.
The largest majority of Herpes sufferers say it is no more than a nuisance. Maybe once a year outbreak, maybe never again. Yes, someone immunocompromised, it will hit harder, and they will have a worse adverse effect. Still no worse than the side effects of Valtrex. Get off the high horse, all these people with their 10 foot poles, You could have slept or just kissed someone 10-15 years ago and contracted it.
90% of us have it. 90%. YOU do have it. one is no worse than the other, and both could be on the genitals or mouth. I do not believe all the people posting, stating they do not have herpes. They are in denial. Youve been exposed time and again in your lives. Only 10% of the population dont have it. | |
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| What if the love of your life has genital herpes?
Posted: 6/6/2009 10:49:49 AM | ^^^I'm wondering where you get your statistics...
"Herpes Percentage In General Population
You may not believe it, but herpes virus is quite commonly found in most people. When an infected person is asymptomatic and sheds, it is the major cause of transmission of virus to other people.
In a recent study conducted on herpes percentage in the general population, 50 participants were recruited from the general population in the age range of 19 to 71 years. Out of these, 19 were males and 31 females. All the participants were asked to provide blood samples and swabs of their eyes and mouth for 30 consecutive days.
Results showed that 49 participants shed herpes virus HSV 1 DNA at least once during the 30 day period while 37 participants tested positive for herpes virus; while just one participant did not shed at all. 3 participants shed the herpes virus in their tears but not in their saliva.
These results prove that even if you are not infected by herpes, you might be carrying the herpes virus. A large percent of healthy people in the population carry herpes virus and it is unavoidable. However, population demographics play an important role in herpes infection. Other facts include age, stress, level of education, age of first sexual intercourse and socioeconomic status. Several studies point out an increase in herpes infection with increase in age.
In the U.S. it is believed that herpes percentage in general population is around 20 percent. However, the rate of herpes is not evenly distributed. Some areas are more prone to herpes infections than others. "
http://www.scumdoctor.com/disease-prevention/herpes/herpes-percentage-in-general-population.html | |
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| What if the love of your life has genital herpes?
Posted: 6/6/2009 11:00:49 AM | These results prove that even if you are not infected by herpes, you might be carrying the herpes virus.
WTF?! The above quoted statement makes no sense whatsoever. If your body has antibodies for HSV present (these can be detected via blood test), that means that you DO INDEED HAVE HSV.
If you are "carrying the herpes virus" that means you are infected.
WOW, it's no wonder so many are uneducated and misinformed about HSV. With so much untruthful garabge floating around. | |
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| What if the love of your life has genital herpes?
Posted: 6/6/2009 11:10:35 AM | WTF?! The above quoted statement makes no sense whatsoever. If your body has antibodies for HSV present (these can be detected via blood test), that means that you DO INDEED HAVE HSV.
If you are "carrying the herpes virus" that means you are infected.
WOW, it's no wonder so many are uneducated and misinformed about HSV. With so much untruthful garabge floating around.
"It is estimated that 50 percent to 80 percent of the American adult population has oral herpes. 20 percent, over 50 million people, are infected with Genit*l herpes, and the majority of these cases may be unaware they even have it. Studies show that more than 500,000 Americans are diagnosed with Genit*l herpes each year." (Herpes.com)
I think your 90% statistic is misleading. Most of those are people with oral herpes. Only 20% have genital herpes. | |
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| What if the love of your life has genital herpes?
Posted: 6/6/2009 11:32:53 AM | I get coldsores.... I've had shingles too... dang the luck... back when I was a kid no one ever considered a cold sore as something other then sore and icky... but had no idea it was picked up by those aunts and uncles who kissed you.... no one was really that careful about it unless it was open and oozing....
I had auto-immune issues a couple of years ago due to chronic bronchitis and had what I thought was a coldsore on my lip and on the side of my lip... couldn't get over being sick. Went to see the doc cause she wouldn't just give me an antibiotic like I asked. She said no, you don't need the antibiotic you need a antiviral.... because you have shingles. Which on your face could lead to bells palsy or even blindness... luckily I got the meds within 72 hrs so my case never flared as badly as it could have. Try going back to work tho... I bring it up because it is all in the same family as I found out. and the med that was used is Acyclovir which is the same med used on genital herpes. Have a bf find that med in your drawer and he's gonna think I have genital herpes.... I had a man who I'm sure stopped seeing me in those days due to my telling him about the whole situation. I understand how it can make a person feel like a leper... but until I had shingles and pray I never again have it because it's awful and painful and caused by the chicken pox virus.. that virus after you've had it stays dormant in your system laying in the nerves and when you grow older and your immune system wears down you have shingles... but all three are within the same family of virus... depends on how it's transmitted.... I don't deal with coldsores anymore because when I feel that tingle I take a med... if you don't want genital herpes use a condom altho its not sure proof either not if it's on the person's thigh or outer edges of the penis... there are meds... there is education... both are useful... I also know someone married 20 years her husband who contracted herpes from his cheating wife prior marriage... it didn't stop his current wife and she's never gotten it... | |
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| What if the love of your life has genital herpes?
Posted: 6/6/2009 11:36:59 AM |
I think your 90% statistic is misleading. Most of those are people with oral herpes. Only 20% have genital herpes.
You have me confused with another poster, I did not post those statistics. | |
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| What if the love of your life has genital herpes?
Posted: 6/6/2009 11:39:25 AM | ^^^^rose marie, sorry.
forum 101: "90% of us has HSV1"
I think your 90% statistic is misleading. Most of those are people with oral herpes. Only 20% have genital herpes.
"It is estimated that 50 percent to 80 percent of the American adult population has oral herpes. 20 percent, over 50 million people, are infected with Genit*l herpes, and the majority of these cases may be unaware they even have it. Studies show that more than 500,000 Americans are diagnosed with Genit*l herpes each year." (Herpes.com)
My sister always had cold sores. Obviously, many people have oral herpes. We never used to think much about it (or connect it to any type of sexual behavior) until the 70's and 80's and the change in sexual behavior of the populous. I read that in the 70's the amount of genital herpes increased 30%. | |
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| What if the love of your life has genital herpes?
Posted: 6/6/2009 11:42:41 AM | Oral can go to genital. either type can be in either location. That sore on your lip may very well be the dreaded type 2.
There was another herpes thread, where a dermatologist was posting. Trying to give info on it, how common both types are. Alot of people thought they knew more about it than he did. Ludicrous. 90% have herpes. I know I have fever blisters on my lip maybe every couple of years. I could easily transfer it to my genitalia. or to someone else. Whether I have a sore or not. herpes is herpes is herpes. Thousands of sites on here about herpes. some say 80, others 90, one I found today said almost every adults in the US carry the virus.
http://www.visualdxhealth.com/teen/orofacialHerpesSimplexVirusHSV-whosAtRisk.htm | |
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| What if the love of your life has genital herpes?
Posted: 6/6/2009 11:44:38 AM | ^^^
Even so, if someone has genital herpes, it is an STD and it is not something to take lightly. I'm not saying they have the plague or anything, but to paint is as a thing where just don't give a fig cause we all have it anyway, THAT'S MISLEADING. | |
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| What if the love of your life has genital herpes?
Posted: 6/6/2009 12:00:51 PM | I didnt "paint" it in anyway, I just stated the facts. Some medical books state up to 100% percent of the population has the antibodies, meaning they carry it.
It doesnt matter the type, either can appear on the mouth or genitalia. Just because you have it on your mouth, doesnt make you any less of a risk of passing it on to someone else. Maybe even more so, cause most people kiss more than they have sex. That's why the oral type is so high. Only a blood test is going to tell you which type you actually have. | |
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| What if the love of your life has genital herpes?
Posted: 6/6/2009 12:12:16 PM | I will say that my infectious disease doctor told me that 80% of the population has oral HSV-1 and about 25% have genital HSV-2. However, he did say that some doctors believe the statistics to be HIGHER because of so many undocumented cases.
My infectious disease doctor said that statistics will vary depending on which doctor you speak to. No statistic for HSV is concrete, it is merely an estimation. One must take into account all of the undocumented cases. | |
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