| this is me so please feel free to get to know me thru my story
Posted: 6/25/2005 7:56:36 PM | Rusty,
Congrats on the courses!!!!!! I would love to read the books you write. I think your well ahead of the game already. I agree with John, about the respect and confidence in you. I think you can help many people out there in todays world. Good Luck friend!!!!!
As for the car, you can buy any car you want when the book is done!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sam | |
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| this is me so please feel free to get to know me thru my story
Posted: 6/27/2005 11:27:58 AM | lol well as for going to my head i let nothing go there that i can't handle as i've got a rather large chrome dome to much time is spent thinking lol . i'm going to enjoy life regardless of what life may throw at me as for the book i hope i'll make enough off of it to at least be debt free once in my life lol. i was thinking about my gramps yesterday and i remember him always telling me to keep a stiff upper lip and never let life weigh you down and i've been kinda teeterin on depression because my life isn't what i want it to be but thats all good and find because some day i'll be where i can be of use to people who have been through what i've been through , just the other day i met a joung man who was abused by his uncle and he has a huge chip on his shoulder and i told him that if he'd listen to me for just 10 minutes i'd show him a different way of looking at life well he gave me the 10 minutes and i made him cry (he read my forum on here ) he had never took the time to be positive so he's done some foolish things he told me a few things i'd rather not have known but he did say he'd work on being productive and changing his out look on life so not that i'm clapping myself on the back but i do feel good that i helped some one who understands exactly what i've been through i hope i'll be given the chance to help more in the future and i'll be starting my book next month with the guidence of a local writer she told me that i have a great story and i told her that my story is anything but great it's hard hitting true and painful i will succeed because i have support from you and thats what i have needed i hope any one reading this who doesn't respond i hope that it either helps you or at least some one you know who has been through a very difficult time life mine . my life isn't so bad when i get right down to it and i smile every morning knowing i'll make the best of the day ahead , i'm no ones victim and i'll never be again i will enjoy life because like all of you it's our right to be happy so i hope every one out there is doing well and please regardless of the bad in you'r life try to enjoy it because it's not worth the effort of thought so take care and enjoy , until next time  | |
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| this is me so please feel free to get to know me thru my story
Posted: 7/5/2005 11:52:28 AM | | well i either have to laugh or cry my van is a test of my patience the list of things that need to be fixed just went up because i the great dorkist took a corner to sharp and concaved my drivers side door and ripped off my mirror oh well i refuse to let this upset me the one thing i am upset about is i lost my wallet in portland and the only reason i'm upset about that is because i lost my dads picture with my wallet of course losing my license is a also a pain in the butt oh well i will pull thru this because i've no other choice life will get better i'm sure it has to right ? i mean it's near as bad as it can get right now and i'm not breaking so the test must nearly be done and i'll be granted some peace of mind soon lol well i hope all is well at there with you all i just felt the need to ramble a bit so take care and bye for now | |
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| this is me so please feel free to get to know me thru my story
Posted: 7/8/2005 8:36:32 AM | | i've decided to put off my life story as a book because i had this really bizzare dream that would make for a great sci fi book and maybe even a movie lol look at me and my dreams of grandjure lol any way i think that odd dream is a really good book in the making lol and even if it doesn't get big notice at least there will be a book i've written oh i can't wait to see it in print lol well i've got to get to it take care all and enjoy oh before i go i had a great talk with my mom on the phone we enjoyed the conversation so at least i'm putting stuff behind me lol well bye for now | |
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| this is me so please feel free to get to know me thru my story
Posted: 7/11/2005 11:50:54 AM | | aw shucks tahnx only hope it doesn't put you to sleep lol. Well after years of hicking all over the country and getting rides and such i decided to give back and pick up a hitch hiker and it didn't go well i had to go in to use a restroom and when i came back out she was still there and tells me that this guy is going to the same place she was so i was like ok have a safe trip i leave and about 40 miles down the road my back acts up so i go to get a pain pill and low and behold there gone i was so pissed off at this situation that i thought eveil thoughts about her and well i don't normally wish ill will towards any one but i was in pain and had no way to relieve myself from the pain but i doubt i'll lose anything over it because a few days later i had a really good person buy me a alternator for my van which was way cool considering i was getting tired of recharging my battery lol so good and bad will continue to happen to me but i hope more good than bad oh well life it's a real fun ride huh lol well take care talk at you all later | |
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| this is me so please feel free to get to know me thru my story
Posted: 7/14/2005 5:39:24 PM | | (laughing at my self as i right this) my neon stupid sign is on because i can't remember how to start a new forum ??? some call it a brain fart i call it neon stupid lol a newage way of looking at life , i think any way lol bye for until my intellect comes back i think i'll just think or at least try too lol | |
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| this is me so please feel free to get to know me thru my story
Posted: 7/15/2005 3:52:30 PM | | thats my problem i want to post my opinion on all subjects and so far it just doesn't seem to fit any one catagory lol . i have so many opinions lol and well i just feel like it would be an extension of getting to know who i am i think it any way lol and i feel kinda foolish with this forum because i don't really know what else to say about myself on here and i feel it's kinda lost it's scope ? or either that or i've bored myself , with myself lol so i guess i'll ponder this problem and see where it goes lol take care all for now | |
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| this is me so please feel free to get to know me thru my story
Posted: 8/3/2005 11:56:07 AM | | well i doubt i'll be on a computer for a very long time depending on whether or not i decide to stay in this god forsaken place nothing is going well for me and i so feel like just giving up i guess i'm tired of working hard just to find that it means nothing because evry single time i get back up and think to myself that it will get better some jack ass or some situation comes and knocks me right back down and to be honest i'm getting tired of getting back up so i think i may just go to a place were i can enjoy the beauty of nature and live off the land because i can't take very much more i enjoy life when i'm on here or when i'm working but since i've found out whats wrong with me (in part any way ) i'm not having any luck getting work and since i'm poor white trash no one seems to give a damn about some one like me (present company excluded of course) my book thing is coming along very nicely though i've sent in some chapters of my book i was told that it wasn't worth there time not in so many words of course but i got the message so i'm going to continue on the book and see if i can't get it up to snuff though i'm feeling like it may take awhile to get it on the shelves i know at least it will get there as far as making a living off of writing not so sure any more lol well i gotta go library computers blah blah blah | |
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| this is me so please feel free to get to know me thru my story
Posted: 8/4/2005 9:37:07 AM | | hi rusty your thread here has inspired me greatly i just found it today and read it all today i just couldn't stop.....it drew me right in....i know some what of what u have gone thru......i just want to say dont give up i know things may seem very dark right now but there will always light to show u the wat thru and if u just pay attention u can find it....ur story gives me great comfort that i will be able to get over things that have occured in my past that i have tried desperately to forget and cant seem to accomplish........or i do forget and then at the least oppotune time it rears its ugly head to bite me in the butt.......i have suffered a lot and am now trying to work thru and seeing what u have over come gives me great strength.......thank you and please continue | |
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| this is me so please feel free to get to know me thru my story
Posted: 8/6/2005 8:34:43 PM | | i really am very happy i've helped you in some way that makes me feel better though i'm not so sure i want to continue writting or much of anything really only because i can't seem to keep myself from getting knocked right back down the harder i try the more i seem to lose i'm not sure where life is going to take me but i do know that i'm sick of it it's rather hard to explain and it's not that i'd kill myself because that just isn't going to happen but i am stuck working very little and not able to get or keep a job is much more than i can deal with and i'm so darn tired of it not sure what changed in the last few weeks other than i just don't seem to be able to be positive about anything life is a cruel joke and until i can get something going like school and a job i'm nothing more than a bum and thats what i hate the most .................................................. | |
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| this is me so please feel free to get to know me thru my story
Posted: 8/8/2005 7:40:38 AM | oh Rusty I'm so happy you wrote here, give me a sense that I'm not the only one striving for sucess, we don't care maybe we should make a thread that is writting for dummies because then you wouldn't have people saying stuff like that there. That was not nice at all of that guy ! Everybody is there own person, and I find your a fine ladde !!! The reason I haven't wrote a book either is cause my writting sucks too. But who's got the courage to do it ? YOU DO !!! I'm so impressed with your courage and how you've made life changing events !!! This is where people usually go wrong...they don't give a shit and they screw up there lives by doing what they know !! Like I said to a girl that I know is that, she was scared cause she was due to have her baby soon and I told her cause I had already had mine around a year before hand. I told her yeah the pain is here now but Hunny you'll be fine in short time !!! You know what she had that baby and I'm so proud of her...she did better than I did...:) ah well just to say that life throws shit stuff your way sometimes but you know it's how ever you deal with it. Just to tell you a bit about me !!! I moved out of my home at 16 and well lived where ever I could...life sucked !!! I then 3 years later met the man I thought would take care of me when I was grey and old !! Well that never happen he kicked me out then told me that we would be single parents. I gasped at the idea, broke me apart but you know what I hold my head up high and live my life !! I love my daughter and she's beautiful and walking and I love being a mom ! Some people may get dealt a shitty hand but when you come out with a fullhouse, makes god GASP !!! I'm not going to sugar coat it, it wasn't easy but wow I'm happy with myself cause I never thought I was that strong. Change the things you think you can and know the things you can't and you what the most important thing KNOW THE DIFFERENCE. Rusty hold you head up high and gasp cause that's what it might take !! Smile it helps alot...make yourself smile !!! there you go hun take care and I wish the best for you... 
if you ever need to talk let me know I'm here for ya !!! | |
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| this is me so please feel free to get to know me thru my story
Posted: 8/9/2005 2:37:11 PM | Rusty,
I told you that your words would help others!!!! Your not giving up, your just tired. Take a breather if need be, but keep writing for us!!!!
We're all waiting to read your book too!!!
Just remember, without the bad, there would be no good!!!
Sam | |
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| this is me so please feel free to get to know me thru my story
Posted: 8/15/2005 5:04:35 PM | | i feel bad that i worried some of you'll i just feel like things can not possibly get any worse i mean hell for a couple months i was on a hi that was far better than any drug i've ever done and now, well now i just feel so lousy and i'm in a slump of which i seem to slip further and further into and it's not right i mean i tell myself it will get better sooner or later but truth be told the only way it will get better for me is if i wasn't crippled up though my being crippled could be far worse but it is bad enough because after just a few hours work i hurt so bad it makes me cry and i hate crying not because it shows weakness but because it proves i'm in a pain in which there is no cure i hate the way i feel right now i enjoy smiling and laughing and i have no one to share in that part of my life being single is no fun but i really feel unworthy of any ladies love that is of course is something i've got to work on. i'm just feeling sorry for myself i guess ,but i'm lonely and feeling like my future is meant to be spent alone and i'm more tired of being alone than my own failure i need inspiration i guess i'm no loser but i am feeling lost thank you all for you'r kindness i'm a bum at least until i can plant my feet firmly on the ground and get some where with my life well i'm going now to do some real soul searching take care all and i hope it's all smiles and laughter with you | |
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| this is me so please feel free to get to know me thru my story
Posted: 8/15/2005 6:35:58 PM | Hey Rusty,
Sounds like your on the right track to finding your answers, soul searching is a part of everyones lives.. I just made some great progress on my own search.. I relate to the pain, my back will never be normal again. They took all the metal out in June, But the pain is still there all the time. I use a breathing tech. to work through it. Slow deep breaths and I count slowly at the same time. I'm allergic to most pain killers, so this is all I have to take my mind elsewhere away from the pain.. So hang in there, It's hard, but it's worth it in the end.
Sam | |
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| this is me so please feel free to get to know me thru my story
Posted: 8/16/2005 9:32:18 AM | | I'm sorry that you're still in a rut i know what it's like to be in ruts...i find myself falling in one currently but i know that if i keep focused i will exit it just as fast as i fell into it i really dont have much time to sit around and feel sry for myself....i'm not saying that you do either so i hope you dont take it like that.....but hang in there you'll find ur guiding light soon | |
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| this is me so please feel free to get to know me thru my story
Posted: 8/24/2005 9:01:12 AM | well ruts are very easy to follow into, we all do it. It's how we overcome this matter that helps us be who we our and if not what we are today...you know what I mean...
Things happen for a reason and you know what that is my bible, believe and you will achieve.
Things really do happen for a reason !!! think about..!!!  | |
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