| Do men ever fall for BBW?
Posted: 2/29/2008 5:50:07 AM | And now for me to cultivate the ire of the entire site.
All of this Oprah-esque back patting is all well and good, but the harsh reality is that men...given the option between an overweight woman and a woman who is in shape with similar personality assets are going to choose the thinner one every time. To put it in terms that you women would understand, consider your universal bias regarding height. (I can hear some of you grudgingly nodding your heads to that example).
I am currently the weekend manager at a gym. Previous to that, I worked in muscular and skeletal rehabilitation for over 4 years. So please don't bother pulling the "thyroid" card. I'm well aware that true thyroid dysfunction is a VERY small fraction of obesity in women. I've also dealt with (and continue to deal with) the health repercussions of obesity in the countless people I help.
Want to know an angle that I bet many of you have not considered, both male AND female? It is the PERSONALITY QUALITIES that lead to obesity that disgust me just as much, if not more so, than the visual impact of adipose tissue (I'll save you a trip to WebMD -- it's a medical term for fat). With the extremely rare exceptions of true defective thyroid, most obesity is caused by a continuous cycle of poor and careless decisions followed by a healthy dose of laziness and apathy...with a light sprinkling of ignorance on top. I have a very difficult time respecting someone who just lets their health fall apart and cannot find the motivation inside themselves to do anything about it.
On the *other* side of the coin, I have the highest respect and admiration for bigger people that come into my gym and decide to turn it all around. It shows incredible conviction and drive. I like people that take control of the things they don't like in their lives and change them. | |
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| Do men ever fall for BBW?
Posted: 2/29/2008 6:31:28 AM |
given the option between an overweight woman and a woman who is in shape with similar personality assets are going to choose the thinner one every time.
Not true! The majority of men, probably would, but not all men!!!
I believe there are some men who "need" to be with an overweight women because of their own insecurities. They believe with an overweight women, they do not have to fear being left or an overweight woman will be so grateful to be loved, she will treat them like a god!
I also believe that there are some men who simply find a larger woman attractive.
And, I believe there are some men who look beyond the physical appearance of a woman to find the true inner beauty.
But, what do I know.... I'm just an overweight woman.
Sandee | |
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| Do men ever fall for BBW?
Posted: 2/29/2008 7:47:55 AM | | Gee, thanks, TurboTiger, for speaking all men. NOT! Yeah, maybe the word “all” wasn’t in your sentence, but it sure was implied. You have your opinion, and that’s well and good, but don’t presume to be the bastion (that’s an intellectual term for “keeper” in this usage) of all male opinion. On the other hand, you may have unwittingly placed your finger on the pulse – as many men (and women!) do feel the way you do, and make a partner choice by physical characteristics over personality, no wonder so many are single, divorced, and/or miserable! | |
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| Do men ever fall for BBW?
Posted: 2/29/2008 11:05:53 AM | Again -- if you take two women with the EXACT same personality traits, one being thin and healthy and one looking like a Burger King taste-tester, men are typically going to prefer the one that is in better shape.
Many of you are splitting hairs, or perhaps looking for things to single out and use as ammunition in tearing into my post. That's your prerogative, but you are blatantly disregarding the foundational message of what I wrote.
People who do not take care of themselves are unattractive to ME and are unattractive to MOST people. I hold the same personal prejudices against those that choose to shove cocaine up their nose, let fungus grow under their toenails or lead a shiftless life devoid of ambition.
You'd be floored how many people I do nutrition consultations for that shovel absolute crap into their body then try to blame age or having children on their situation. When I was working as a rehab coordinator, we had a 93-year old woman who would hop up on the treadmill at our office for 10-15 minutes before seeing the doctor -- not because we asked her to, but because she WANTED to.
If you're happy being round, cool! Enjoy it. Do your thing. There seem to be plenty of fellas that will date you for a gamut of reasons. But let's stop being delusional by having a support group focused on telling people that looks never matter, that everyone's a beautiful snowflake, and that anyone that makes physical attraction a factor to their dating preferences is somehow shallow and un-evolved.
To be clear, my stance is not gender-specific. Any insecurities aside, I imagine most women would LOVE for their significant other to be in great shape, look good with their shirt off, have some great shape to their muscles, etc. | |
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| Do men ever fall for BBW?
Posted: 2/29/2008 9:47:44 PM | I have a very sad true story to tell you, however, you aren't accepting messages
from someone my age, I would like to share this story in your message board.
It is another viewpoint to your advantage. Hope to hear from you. | |
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| Do men ever fall for BBW?
Posted: 3/8/2008 6:22:34 AM | I myself am around a size 20. I didn't get to that size until the last several years. I was actually stick thin most of my life and to be honest, in some pictures my Mother just sent me from 20 years ago, I look downright anorexic!
Although I appreciate TurboTiger's point, I'll be the devil's advocate here. In my occupation, I have seen plenty of contestable death claims on people who dropped dead literally and were big into physical fitness and into their diets. I have also personally underwritten older people in their 80's who were not running to the gym or watching their diets and they are doing just fine.
In my situation, I will be quite honest. I like to eat and I admit it. I am quite happy in my body and really don't feel the need to change things. I may not be living in a gym or eating rabbit food, but I take care of myself and am quite anal about my required maintenance (the nails/hairdresser, ect). The only thing I can't do is fit into the cutesy clothes my daughter (who is a size 3) wears but then again, why would I want to?
My opinion is that I think I have a lot to offer (we're not talking my weight here) someone and the right person is going to love me for who I am, not whether or not I am built like Barbie. Barbie has to be a miserable creature if she is exercising 24 hours a day and eating nothing but iceburg lettuce! | |
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| Do men ever fall for BBW?
Posted: 3/9/2008 2:07:19 PM | I dropped from a size 20 to a size 10-12, and if I can do it, anyone can!! I am serious when I say that. My body and systems were so messed up, no amount of "cutting back" made any difference. Well I wont go into it now, and its probably better in a different forum but once I understood the things I really needed to do, it made all the difference. I am actually a *smaller* size now than I was in high school!
Now if I could just figure out what the "right" amount of confidence to show is, I might make some real progress. | |
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| Do men ever fall for BBW?
Posted: 3/9/2008 2:21:56 PM | | Apparently they do. I've seen plenty of couples where the woman is large. I don't want to be mean, but I think blaming a lack of relationships on size is a cop out. | |
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| Do men ever fall for BBW?
Posted: 3/13/2008 9:32:14 PM | "blaming a lack of relationships on size is a cop out."
Probably. But men are part of the game game, too. When over 60% of US women are overweight or obese (worse for blacks and Hispanics), if I guy prefers a woman of normal weight, he excludes 60% of all women. ouch! Luckily for the heavy women, something like 50% of US men are overweight or obese. | |
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| Do men ever fall for BBW?
Posted: 3/13/2008 11:27:29 PM | | Thank you HowdidIgethere---we can always count on you to come up with a great response! Cheers! | |
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| Do men ever fall for BBW?
Posted: 3/14/2008 12:41:00 PM | Turbo, I truly wish you could see how disgusting your arrogance can appear.
Judge much?
Somewhere you posted something totally opposite, didn't you? It went something like ....."There are a few rare birds who don't give a damn what anyone thinks -- gotta love those. Also as women get older, they seem to start living life on their own terms instead of the way others say they should." didn't you say that? hmmmm....so which is it ?
Someday you will realize how living your life to the fullest is what makes one happy. I've seen so many men just like you fall dead of a heart attack. They push to hard, they worry about their BMI, how much cardio they fit in their day.
I had an ex-husband just like you.....He loved to criticize my unhealthy lifestyle. A lifestyle critic of everyone who didn't do the things he did. Run, jog, ate nuts and twigs, low fat, low carb, because he truly thought he was the only one who knew how to take good care of himself. He was an a$$hole .....and yes it's ...... too bad.....
I visit his grave often.
Sudden cardiac death for no reason whatsoever.
I wished he could have saved all those wasted heartbeats, he spent with his finger in other peoples faces, telling them how unhealthy they were.
I wished he would've hurt less and hugged more.
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| Do men ever fall for BBW?
Posted: 3/17/2008 10:17:19 AM | SunnyTexas,
I know lots of men like that!
Lots of overweight men who like to give overweight women advice.
Sandee | |
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| Do men ever fall for BBW?
Posted: 3/17/2008 1:10:17 PM | Oh yes, and the overweight men who like to judge smokers. But oh well....I'm gonna live my life the way I want to.
I don't wanna be old and in the nursing home dyin'....of NOTHIN' ! | |
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| Do men ever fall for BBW?
Posted: 3/17/2008 1:30:08 PM | This is my take on the topic.........and try not to sound conceited or anything as I say it
I will be 46 in 2 months......I am not overweight, but am not thin either. In my eyes I am just right. I don't diet. I am cheer coach for the high school here and can still do a high kick probably better than any kid on my squad. (which really surprised them too) but some would think I might be a lil heavy as I don't fight into the cutesy lil clothes.
It doesn't matter what size you are. It matters what you do with your size! As most anyone can tell you as they have met me in person(at pof functions) if men don't like me for my size or my looks.....then I will be the first to stand up and yell........NEXT
As Sunny stated.....I also am going to live my life the way I want to. I don't give a rats patootie what anyone else says. And for the people that think only pencil thin people are the only ones in shape and are the only ones that live a healthy life...... | |
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| Do men ever fall for BBW?
Posted: 3/17/2008 2:22:50 PM | TexRodeoGirl, maybe you and I should form our own "can can" line.
Double entendre intended ! We can and we will. I can still high kick a man's hat off his head....but I don't do it often...teeheehee, but I darn sure will if he starts tellin' me I'm out of shape.
Beats the hell outta pointin' at people or swingin' from trees ! ! | |
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| Do men ever fall for BBW?
Posted: 3/17/2008 2:32:51 PM |
This is my take on the topic.........and try not to sound conceited or anything as I say it
I will be 46 in 2 months......I am not overweight, but am not thin either. In my eyes I am just right. I don't diet. I am cheer coach for the high school here and can still do a high kick probably better than any kid on my squad. (which really surprised them too) but some would think I might be a lil heavy as I don't fight into the cutesy lil clothes.
Not overweight in your eyes?
Most people are overweight according to medical opinion. If one wishes to argue medical opinion that one should argue with the medical profession. NOT us!
Outward appearance is not indicative of good health.....If looking upon the outward appearance all of those believing in the outward body and it's appearance should research the number of thin people and those that are built up have died from heart failure and diabetes.
[People who do not take care of themselves are unattractive to ME and are unattractive to MOST people. I hold the same personal prejudices against those that choose to shove cocaine up their nose, let fungus grow under their toenails or lead a shiftless life devoid of ambition.
A person 6"1 weight 230 is overweight. But men that have muscular looks weighting 230,250 with height being 6'0 6'1 or 6'2 is overweight.
Shorter men weighing 180 but 5 '7"- 5 9" are overweight....So,what the hell is being muscular and appearing to be in shape mean? Nothing other than they are stuck on themselves feeling superior to others they believe are equal to cocaine snorting druggies.
You'd be floored how many people I do nutrition consultations for that shovel absolute crap into their body then try to blame age or having children on their situation. When I was working as a rehab coordinator, we had a 93-year old woman who would hop up on the treadmill at our office for 10-15 minutes before seeing the doctor -- not because we asked her to, but because she WANTED to.
If allowing a 93 yr old to hop on a treadmill before seeing her doctor isn't bordering on malpractice ,not to mention the lack of responsibility is shameful and distasteful I would like to know exactly what it is.
Want to know an angle that I bet many of you have not considered, both male AND female? It is the PERSONALITY QUALITIES that lead to obesity that disgust me just as much, if not more so, than the visual impact of adipose tissue (I'll save you a trip to WebMD -- it's a medical term for fat). With the extremely rare exceptions of true defective thyroid, most obesity is caused by a continuous cycle of poor and careless decisions followed by a healthy dose of laziness and apathy...with a light sprinkling of ignorance on top. I have a very difficult time respecting someone who just lets their health fall apart and cannot find the motivation inside themselves to do anything about it.
Personality Qualities? HMMMMMMM,
I am not believing the motive behind this users post....Is it money that motivates some to degrade and vilify Innocent Obese people that in most cases cannot help the obesity?
Why doesn't user just curse then and be done with it? Helly Dayum! | |
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| Do men ever fall for BBW?
Posted: 3/21/2008 8:58:20 PM | As I recall...didn't Jim Fixx, the world renowned runner, drop dead of a heart attack? Here's another tidbit....I know from having to be checked out a year ago due to chest pain caused by overzealous snow shoveling in Michigan, my lipids are low, my blood pressure is extremely low (110/65), and my myocardial perfusion study (done for my age) was negative for ischemia and I am a size 20. I have Grandparents in their late 80's and early 90's with multiple Great Uncles who got to the 100 mark.
You can exercise until you fall off the treadmill but you can't escape your genetics and family history, that is what really sets the course. Exercise helps but it isn't the be all end all. Diet is also helpful I suppose, but I am not about to start eating twigs and grass. I can tell you I eat a lot less red meat than I once did. Most of my meat consumption comes from fish or chicken. I also enjoy a good salad or vegetables. I rarely eat dessert (not a sweets person).
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| Do men ever fall for BBW?
Posted: 3/22/2008 5:35:04 AM | Here's the take from someone who admittedly has a few extra pounds on his frame:
While looks are important for initial attraction, I'd rather spend the evening with a woman who has an awesome personality and a great sense of humor who might be considered overweight than a model with no personality. Yeah, they're fun to look at, but after 5 minutes of conversation it's just painful.
As for all the excuses - I'll admit that the reason I'm overweight is because I didn't watch my diet or exercise in the past. So instead of making excuses (it's hereditary! It's glandular!) I eat better and get to the gym. The result? I still have more to go, but my friends will all admit that I've got way more active and energetic than most. So get out there, live life, have fun, and you'll notice those pounds start to fall off. ;) | |
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| Do men ever fall for BBW?
Posted: 4/22/2008 8:41:41 AM | | Hi,i really don't know much about you , but if you can be honest about and be more up front with age and all the rest i'll be glad to look in to BOB, HAVE A GREAT DAY | |
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| Do men ever fall for BBW?
Posted: 4/26/2008 12:19:01 AM | I didn't read all the responses you received. I didn't have to. Yes we BBW do have men in our life that enjoy the person we are or have become over the years. If you are looking for someplace to socialize with people of size, send me an email. I'll give you some info about upcoming events.
I wish you luck. It is about liking yourself and loving the person you have become. I like Me. | |
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| Do men ever fall for BBW?
Posted: 4/26/2008 1:57:05 PM | | My answer is if someone dont like you the way you are you dont kneed um in your life!! I myself think BBW S are GREAT! | |
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| Do men ever fall for BBW?
Posted: 5/22/2008 4:19:23 PM |
Want to know an angle that I bet many of you have not considered, both male AND female? It is the PERSONALITY QUALITIES that lead to obesity that disgust me just as much, if not more so, than the visual impact of adipose tissue (I'll save you a trip to WebMD -- it's a medical term for fat). With the extremely rare exceptions of true defective thyroid, most obesity is caused by a continuous cycle of poor and careless decisions followed by a healthy dose of laziness and apathy...with a light sprinkling of ignorance on top. I have a very difficult time respecting someone who just lets their health fall apart and cannot find the motivation inside themselves to do anything about it.
Some people try to say things like this every now and then, and it's fairly appalling. You have no problem attributing laziness and ignorance to fat people--but you're a "weekend manager at the gym"? Guess you were too "lazy" to go to college and get a real job? Or perhaps too "ignorant" to get in at all?
Assumptions make you look stupid. A half-azzed vocabulary doesn't make you sound smarter. Guess you "couldn't find the motivation" to make anything of your life, either, so why throw stones at others? Is it because your failings are less visible to the public eye, allowing you a healthy dose of sanctimonious behavior?
I'm engaged to someone wonderful who loves me for me. He's intelligent and kind and compassionate and a family-oriented guy who prefers cuddling with me to exercising himself into the grave at the gym or waxing rhetoric about calories to people who don't care (namely, everyone else). So he's overweight, but at least he's not a brain-dead internet troll who brags about a weekend job at the local gym while managing to maintain a certain amount of disdain for others. I mean, really, how much worse can you get? I'm overweight too, but I work at a newspaper, am a member of MENSA, and gee--novel concept--went to college. But I guess since your waistline is better than mine, you and your weekend gym job beat me and my fiance out. Go back to the gym and finish sweating off the rest of your brain cells before you come back on here attacking people with weight problems again. | |
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| Do men ever fall for BBW?
Posted: 5/22/2008 6:42:38 PM | | i havent read all the lastest posts.. and not like anyone cares but i was thin.. and even "hot" according to my ex who left me.. LOL and it grew so old so fast... so now im fat and i have piece of mind.. if im fat.. i get less request for bj and sex in general! hallalujah!!! Omg.. yet that's where my identiy lied.. sigh. oh well .. i'll be a fat nothing before a two bit one night stand ever again! just call me your friend! | |
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| Do men ever fall for BBW?
Posted: 5/22/2008 8:39:27 PM | Ok so I will weigh in here (awful pun I know) but the truth is that Turbo Tiger make his mistake in ASSUMING that he was qualified to speak to this subject as an authority instead of just saying it was his opinion ... Arrogance is never a plus in the personality department.
That off my considerable chestal region - I shall say that I have been a BBW most of my life. Even when I was "only" 15 lbs over recommended weight I thought I was FAT. So the reality for me is I have always been fat - SO WHAT.
Any man that cannot see me for who I am rather deciding he won't date me based primarily on what I look like is probably not someone I will get along with (this includes men who only want to date me because I am a BBW). I prefer men who like me not my packaging.
I finally learned that my confidence in myself and my own beauty is MUCH more valuable and sexy as hell. Trust me some men prefer BBW's but the best men prefer women who are confident in and of themselves regardless of the outside.
As for what people judge you by ... what the devil do you care what someone else judges you ... seriously if you don't like me ... don't get to know me. I really don't care what other people think of me - ESPECIALLY people I have not met, goodness why would I care about their opinions, they don't sleep in my bed, pay my bills, or hug me when I am sad.
I don't presume to speak for other people, some are genuinely hurt by the cruel remarks directed at large people and I am sorry for them. I got lucky - my dad always told me he loved me no matter what not everyone has that. | |
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