| why do people add you to their favorites and never contact you?
Posted: 8/2/2007 2:54:02 PM | I think i have the easiest answer to this!
"WHy do people add you to their favourites and not contact you!"
Probably for the same reason missionarys will come bother you at your house, but yell at telemarketers!
If being Ignorant is bliss, then being omnipotent is.... | |
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| why do people add you to their favorites and never contact you?
Posted: 8/2/2007 11:47:43 PM | You know it's funny, because i am not one usually to not be short of words when i email someone.
This is an example that i copyied and pasted from an actual profile that i read on a woman. I will withold her name for obvious reasons.
" Interests Travelling friends dancing
going out staying in working hard
About MeI recently moved to Calgary and I love to have a good time. I have many interests and love going out, but also enjoy staying in from time to time. I own my own business and it definitely keeps me busy, but it's so much fun! I'm not looking for a serious relationship, but I'm not just looking for a one night stand either."
Like seriously, this is so much a common example that i see on some women's profile. You want to get emails, how about you give the guys something more concrete to go with? I mean the same goes the other way of course. It applies to men i am sure, not everyone has an interesting profile, so you gota give something to hook the other up.
In that above example i am sorry but there's nothing that would make me want to email her or want know her. It is blend and without interest. It's more or less the same stuff i read on so many women.
Borrrrrrrrrrrring!
Not sure what guys profile are in general as i dont really read them, but gosh how hard is it to say something? Wether it's a first email or a reply to an email you received. Why is it so hard to email someone? I dont know...just say whatever you wana know...
As for why adding someone and never contacting them? Beats me, all i know is if i DO add someone, i usually try to email that person within a few days and such. Maybe some guys feel if they have a lot of favorite added that it gives them a harem? who knows... | |
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| why do people add you to their favorites and never contact you?
Posted: 8/3/2007 3:49:11 PM | Hey Senadin -
I commiserate with you about the lack of informative POF e-mails from the fairer sex ... you just gotta read between the lines sometimes. Using your example, you could any - or all - of the following questions:
Where did you live before you moved to Calgary?
How does Calgary compare to ______ (your previous home) as a place to live?
How long have you lived in Calgary?
Did you know anybody in Calgary before you moved there?
You wrote that you have many interests ... what do you like to do?
What type of business do you own?
How long have you ran this business?
Did you own this business before moving to Calgary?
Is this your first business?
Did you run a lemonade stand or have a newspaper route when you were younger (thus displaying early entrepreneurial desires ...)?
What is the most fun about owning your own business?
Those are just a few ideas. Now, when she responds to you, you will have the basis for some further conversation. Good luck with it! | |
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| why do people add you to their favorites and never contact you?
Posted: 10/5/2008 6:29:33 PM | | what I am seeing is a misconseption between woman and men.Men use the favorites as a wink to get the lady's attention.Woman see it as a lame attempt at contacting them.When men don't get any response back they move on.I have even seen it on a few lady's profiles where they are confused why the guy won't contact them except for being added to their favourites.This feature is also used by men to keep track of the lady's they are interested in.Adding to favourites is really not a hard concept but for some reason on this site the genders have this all mixed up.I don't think this problem will change for a while unless maybe POF adds a wink button as well.Als o a note to the lady's when a guy adds you to his favourites (it means he is interested) maybe if you try adding them back things might go a little smoother on here.Byu him adding you he has made the first aproach at breaking the ice instead of being rejected which there can be some nasty ones on here.The nasty rejections people does not help this matter any. | |
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| why do people add you to their favorites and never contact you?
Posted: 10/6/2008 9:41:05 PM | I'm totally with you on this, and it's truly probably my biggest pet peeve on POF.
If a guy adds me without making any sort of contact, I will delete within 48 hours.
If a guy adds me without making contact, then I consider him to be too insecure and not nearly strong enough (of character) to be a a match, thus, he's weeded himself out of the running for me.
If a guy adds me without making contact, I take it as a sign of laziness or weakness (of character), in which case he has no business on my list.
Having me on his favourites list allows him to keep track of my comings & goings. I don't like that, unless there's a reason.
Nothing is accomplished by adding me without contact, except ticking me off and placing a black mark against his own name.
The only thing that hadn't occurred to me was the possibility of death...lol.
Thanks, Bradley...I feel so much better now! | |
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| why do people add you to their favorites and never contact you?
Posted: 11/20/2008 1:03:55 PM | Here are a couple of possibilities:
--- As mentioned before, maybe they are just trying to get your attention so you will read their profile.
--- Maybe they found your description interesting and witty or they just liked what you had to say.
--- Made you a favorite for future contact because they were not able to start something at that time.
--- They do not live close enough to you (30 minutes seems too much for most) so if the fishing in their end of the pond goes nowhere they may look a little further.
--- Future consideration, liked the photo, stacking the odds,....
Those are a few possibilities .  | |
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| why do people add you to their favorites and never contact you?
Posted: 11/20/2008 1:33:05 PM | I think it's a sign of a weak character. If you add me to your favourites than clearly there is something about me/my profile that interests you. If you can not follow through with an email then you are not the sort of person that I will date. If you want me to read your profile and see if we might click...invite me to do so with a quick email.
This isn't rocket science people...but it does require you to use your brain. If hoping that by adding someone to your favourites is going to get them to respond to you it just shows that you put forth the absolute minimal of effort to get someone's attention. I will not date anyone who can't put their money where their mouth is so to speak. | |
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| why do people add you to their favorites and never contact you?
Posted: 11/20/2008 2:02:06 PM | "I think it's a sign of a weak character. If you add me to your favourites than clearly there is something about me/my profile that interests you. If you can not follow through with an email then you are not the sort of person that I will date."
What if it was not you that interested the person but something in the profile. So you are saying that anyone who adds someone to their favorites list but does not follow up with an e-mail has a weak character? That is quite the judgement to make about people you have never meet. | |
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| why do people add you to their favorites and never contact you?
Posted: 11/20/2008 2:29:33 PM | I have to agree...A sign of weak character? That's a pretty harsh judgement.
I rarely add people to faves unless they are forumers, but I've done it when I didn't feel bold enough to e-mail. I just do it in hopes that the spirit will move me in due time and I will then message them, LOL If I knew they would make that kind of "character assessment" of me, then I would hope they would remove themselves.
I recently added someone I recognized who had either messaged me or added me to favorites one time in the past when I probably wasn't available or actively looking. It was when I first signed on this current account and didn't have pictures because of computer trouble, so I thought that was the most respectful route. He messaged me, either that same night or the next. "Well, anyone who adds me to favorites is alright in my book!" ...or something like that and a few lines of chit chat (which was very sweet when I think about it because I didn't even have a photo. Helped me with my "assessment" of him) We proceeded to send a handful of messages back and forth over the next few weeks and then we met. Had a really great coffee date with plans to go out when he returns from vacation.
People have various ways of using the favorites feature and nobody should be looked down on for how they use it. | |
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| why do people add you to their favorites and never contact you?
Posted: 11/20/2008 3:06:52 PM | I'll add my voice to the "pretty harsh" chorus. I say we get a stick, or at least put her over someones knee.  kidding/teasing
In response to the thread however, I used to add people to favs occasionally because I liked their comments, perspectives, modus operandi, or maybe even just their sense of humor and felt their future posts would quite likely be of interest. (both guys and gals BTW) Sadly, I got tired of incessant derogatory comments from others here jumping to conclusions and passing judgement as they felt appropriate, along with the hassle of defending said actions, so I just quit using the function altogether.
Doesn't mean anything necessarily, and it is a free country, as well as site. People are also free to delete and or interrogate as they see fit.
edit: comments such as the ones that follow. Oh, and BTW, if this is ONLY a dating site, perhaps you should explain that to Markus and maybe give HIM a piece of your mind. | |
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| why do people add you to their favorites and never contact you?
Posted: 11/20/2008 3:09:43 PM | Why bother adding me if you can't get the courage to talk to me? I don't think it's harsh at all and it does speak to your character - everything you say or do speaks to the type of person you are.
Daisy - even you admit that you were not bold enough to contact the people you have put on your favourites.
This is dating site - if you don't have the courage to contact anyone - why are you here? I'm not interested in having to wait for the 'spirit to move' anyone...or for a person to get bold enough.
For myself, I know that I don't get along very well with weak minded people. I expect that a person act with integrity, intelligence and with purpose. I dislike people who believe they can get by in life (in any category...financially, romantically etc) by simply coasting along. The early bird gets the worm...not the bird that sits there with it's mouth open hoping that a worm might somehow find it's way into their mouth. | |
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| why do people add you to their favorites and never contact you?
Posted: 11/20/2008 3:13:23 PM | I've added people to my favourites for one reason or another...not necessarily for dating. I always send them a quick email to say "Wow! Loved your comment in the (insert appropriate title here) thread. Or "I really liked what you had to say in your profile".
I have guys and gals on my favourites and for me...it doesn't take a boatload of courage to type out an email to say "Hi! " | |
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| why do people add you to their favorites and never contact you?
Posted: 11/20/2008 4:50:40 PM | Did you read the original post. It's wonderful that you are the extrovert that you are and kudos for sending a note to the persons you have added to your favorites. But alas we are all, obviously, not as extoverted as you. A person can be intelligent, act with integrity and purpose, and still be shy.
"- everything you say or do speaks to the type of person you are." I agree with this particular statement but do not mistake someones caution with lacking courage. Courage comes in many forms. As to this dating site, there is no one doing personal interviews and character checks on you before being allowed to post a profile. You are assuming what is posted actually represents the poster. I have read enough profiles on this site from all over to understand why someone may not wish to immediately send an e-mail after adding someone to their favorites. Peoples natural disposition, environment, and life experences tend to shape their character and will influence the way they decied to do things.
So, from your previous posts I can only assume that no matter what the person looks like, handsome or otherwise, or how interesting his profile may be, you immediately consider him weak minded, lacking courage, and delete him right away because he did not send you an e-mail, and not worth your consideration. | |
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| why do people add you to their favorites and never contact you?
Posted: 11/20/2008 5:21:10 PM | I have a few that have added me that have never said boo.
*shrug*
To each their own I suppose. Some are shy, some hope that if they add you to their list, you'll make the first contact, some just want a string of women on their list... Who knows.
I don't even really pay attention to mine. Periodically, I'll go thru it and clean out the people I've never talked to and let it start all over again! | |
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| why do people add you to their favorites and never contact you?
Posted: 11/20/2008 7:14:23 PM | Different strokes for different folks, Alluria. You want to attract someone that is more forward. I just think you can't make assumptions about how driven they are in life by how they do things on here. This is a whole other ball of wax!
Yes, I prefer to "coast along" on here. I don't go at it like a job - If something is meant to be, it will be. It's not the only way to meet someone and mostly, I want to enjoy this site. I don't mind if someone adds me to favorites and doesn't e-mail me. If he is interesting enough to me, I will take the lead after he's made that start. Hearing through these forums from guys who send out many e-mails to get no responses, I can't say I blame them and I'm glad the guy I added, messaged me and didn't consider me too weak. | |
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| why do people add you to their favorites and never contact you?
Posted: 11/20/2008 7:25:06 PM | Well, could be your settings, there is a person I've talked to in the past, I'd love to be able to contact her but can't because of her settings. I could of course modify my profile to fit, but that isn't honest. I may do it though............................................. | |
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| why do people add you to their favorites and never contact you?
Posted: 11/20/2008 7:42:53 PM | Just to answer the question!
Some times I add some to my favs list...as a way of saying hi...or ...it is late at night, and instead of saying hi and something stupid..i wait a bit until i am wide awake and can say something really stupid....lol.
sometimes they live more then 75 miles from me...and it is a way of getting their attention..hoping they look over my profile and go...WOW>>where the h`e`l`l` has she been hiding???
lol
some times it is a way of saying...hey....look!!!..
i am getting rather tired of not having my mails answered or the old read/deleted, or not read/deleted..so..it's a way of putting the ball in his court.....if they look and respond..great!!!...if not...then in time i just take them off my list.
if someone adds me..i always reply with some sort of hi..how are yah..what's up??
if there is never any contact between me and my list or me on their list..or not much of any in a long time ....1 - 2 months..then I take them off...and take myself off of theirs....
beauty of all of this is...it is my choice who is on my list...and whose list i stay on....my list is mostly of people that i actually talk to..and some i have been too chicken to contact yet..
gulp!!
lol | |
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| why do people add you to their favorites and never contact you?
Posted: 11/20/2008 7:58:27 PM | I put it down to.. I intrigue them... yet scare them. 
Eventually they will contact me... or not. No harm - no foul. I tend not
to check who adds me unless I am bored. If they intrigue me - I ask why.
Interestings answer back but have yet to meet. See ... I told you, I scare them.
As for the one person I have added... I am just stalking him! | |
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| why do people add you to their favorites and never contact you?
Posted: 11/20/2008 10:07:29 PM | I do think it's a bit odd that I basically echoed the sentiment a few posts above me from Moonlightphoenix and I get panned for being 'harsh' though she received no flack.
I guess it's because my comment is fresh and I think it might have offended the shyer folk amongst us.
Yes -I am wanting to attract/ be with someone who is more assertive and sure of themselves. I am of the mind that though someone may be shy...it does take more than just adding someone to their favourites to make interest known.
I believe that in a lot of ways sites such as these; where you are able to be safe in your own environment, really enable people to be less and less interactive with each other. Shy people become more reclusive or at least choose to have less opportunity to connect in a real one-on-one sense with people.
Relationships (even friendships) are work...they take real effort and real contact. Of course this isn't the only way to meet people - but in the real world there is no such thing as a magic button to add someone to your favourites in hopes they notice you and take the next step. | |
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| why do people add you to their favorites and never contact you?
Posted: 11/20/2008 11:06:14 PM | With an attitude like that no wonder moonlightphoenix is still single. Also, she has apparently closed out her account in Oct 2008. You have something to hide moonlight?
Assuming someone is weak minded and lacking courage for not sending a follow up e-mail is not a fresh statement. Judgemental but not a fresh statement. | |
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| why do people add you to their favorites and never contact you?
Posted: 11/21/2008 6:42:33 AM | Don't take offense for openers because my intent isn't to "pan" anybody. The biggest between difference what she said and what you said was that her post was clearly portrayed as just her own opinion
then I consider him to be too insecure - I take it as a sign of laziness or weakness (of character)
and your posts, were rather assumptious and sometimes directly derogatory and/or insulting.
This isn't rocket science people...but it does require you to use your brain. - who can't put their money where their mouth is - I know that I don't get along very well with weak minded people. and such, hence the responses.
Finally
everything you say or do speaks to the type of person you are. Very true, and the pond is particularly adamant at times that good taste be exercised, unless of course one feels like being exposed to these pannings of which you speak. No hard feelings and have a good day. | |
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