|
|
|
|
|
| friends in wheelchairs - is the extra work worth it??
Posted: 1/22/2007 1:32:29 PM | >>had to go on the road. (scary!)
Hey Codee, there are things you should do to improve your visibility. Like, getting reflectors, and one of those little red flags.
We would hate to lose you. ;)
I am reminded of a cartoon I saw as a kid, where the bad guy caught the heroine, and said, "You got spunk!...I HATE spunk!"
Well, we like it, so you're ok with us, kid.
I like little firebrand type girls...it has to do with someone I used to know. | |
|
| friends in wheelchairs - is the extra work worth it??
Posted: 1/22/2007 11:01:28 PM | OK, I have realized how awkward 'we' can be in the snow. I tried to take a bus, the lift wouldn't go past the snow. I tried to wheel into town, sidewalks covered in snow, had to go on the road. (scary!) Makes me realize how much I need my friends to come get me when it snows so I can get out of the house!
Codee, do what Ms. Goldwheels did one winter. She went out and bought a small snowmobile and a tiny snow sled. She tossed her regular (non-gold) wheelchair onto the sled and off she went. Drove it on the sidewalks all over town and used the wheelchair indoors. I bet her $100 she couldn't do it for a week without getting a ticket. I lost that bet. She came back with the business cards from twenty cops and messages on the back of each card testifying that it was cool with them. She was only stopped once by a rookie cop. He said she couldn't drive it on the sidewalks. She said she was told she could. He didn't believe her. She gave him all twenty business cards to call so he could talk to cops that thought she could. She suggested he start with the top card. It was the city's police chief. She said his jaw dropped to the ground as he read through the business cards. His captain was one of them as well. He let her go then came back a couple minutes later and gave her his card too.  She was a real woot. | |
|
| friends in wheelchairs - is the extra work worth it??
Posted: 1/23/2007 11:07:03 AM | Smith, I have bike lights all over the damn place, two white on the front of my chair, two flashing red on the back. Most people are good, they give me room, but some come within a foot of me, I just don't trust people. I don't wanna be roadkill quite yet!!!
So now I know how to meet hot cops! I want to know this chick, she seems wikked! | |
|
Quadly
|
Joined: 8/5/2005
Msg: 154 | |
| friends in wheelchairs - is the extra work worth it??
Posted: 1/23/2007 9:37:50 PM |
>>had to go on the road. (scary!)
I ride on the road frequently. It's like a kid on a bike, you just shouldn't hit them, doesn't matter why they're on the road, it's bad for your insurance...
ok here they have kabuki cabs, powered by a bicycle.. imagine..
Quadbuki
hook one of those suckers up to my power chair..motor vehicle code doesn't include electric W/C's here..
you have no idea where I'm going with this... | |
|
| |
| friends in wheelchairs - is the extra work worth it??
Posted: 1/23/2007 10:24:50 PM | | I do so and I think it's a GREAT idea! Something to keep ya buisy, and you'd meet some real interesting people that way! I'd go on it for sure! (mind you, that's just how we always travel - I trail behind you! how would you get one that attaches to your w/c? would you have to invest a lot of money? | |
|
| |
ddream
|
Joined: 8/24/2006
Msg: 158 | |
| friends in wheelchairs - is the extra work worth it??
Posted: 2/15/2007 8:07:52 AM | Well I for one wouldn't mind and I don't think it's a problem getting to know someone in a wheelchair at all... And as for accessible places well there's plenty to choose from.
And lemme say one more thing: You say it's so much more hassle, but when you are somebody's friend then for them it's no hassle at all... :) That's what friends are for....  | |
|
| friends in wheelchairs - is the extra work worth it??
Posted: 2/15/2007 8:47:31 AM |
PPS, having lived as a disabled person for awhile, and an able bodied person for a long time before that, I think the problem is this--able bodied people are worried about making some sort of faux pas around the disabled. This is the result of the terrible scourge known as political correctness.
Don't think of yourself as a disabled person, let people know you won't get offended if they make some blunder, and you'll do fine.
smith2267, I think you hit on something here. I've been in almost the exact same position as you, except my crutch time was much longer. It seems that the new thing to call a stump is "residual limb". Well, I call mine a stump, because that's what it is. All that politically correct crap is sometimes for the birds. Lot's of people are self conscious about that sort of thing, but for me it gives me the chance to to talk candidly about my condition and answer questions. | |
|
| friends in wheelchairs - is the extra work worth it??
Posted: 2/15/2007 9:09:49 AM | A very close friend of mine is in a wheelchair, he is the greatest man. The accident happened our senior year of high school he is now 28. Since then he has built his own home and started his own landscaping business. He is very self sufficient no hassle at all. I would never stop being his friend just because he was in a wheelchair. We have alot of fun together and there is so much we can do....we still go bowling, hunting, fishing, we even go to the bars...there is nothing like dancing on a guy that is in a wheelchair : )~  | |
|
| friends in wheelchairs - is the extra work worth it??
Posted: 2/15/2007 5:17:24 PM | | I once danced with someone who is in a wheel chair:) He kissed my hand after to say thank you for dancing with him. I sometimes go to this night club and there's a fellow there who is one of the regulars who is in a wheel chair. I think it's great that nothing stops him from having fun. Everyone treats him like an equal which is cool and the bouncers are always happy to help him up the stairs to get into the actual club. It's always great to see that there's no discrimination. Having a friend with a disability or not should not be burden nor should it matter. | |
|
| |
| friends in wheelchairs - is the extra work worth it??
Posted: 2/27/2007 11:03:07 AM | | I see no problem being friends with someone in a wheelchair,probably because my late grandmother had polio and ever since I knew her she was in a chair,if anything I go out of my way to be nice and respectful to "disabled people". | |
|
| |
| friends in wheelchairs - is the extra work worth it??
Posted: 2/27/2007 3:26:11 PM | | I've had a sister and a friend in a wheelchair. NICE PEOPLE BUT NOT WHAT I CONSIDER DATE MATERIAL. I don't mind if they are in a wheelchair but I can't carry them everywhere and do everything for them, they have people to help them hopefully. It's not that I wouldnt but it's not my thing to play nurse. | |
|
| friends in wheelchairs - is the extra work worth it??
Posted: 3/2/2007 6:12:24 PM | I've come to a conclusion after meeting another person in a chair.
This person is in it temporarily, broken ankles.
She has pain to stand, but she can.
She complains and whines NON STOP about how hard life is for her, being in a chair.
If I have to listen to her and her pool of self pity another second I'm going to FREAK on her.
That being said, I think it's the person in the chair that makes the difference. There are some people out there *ahem to this chick* that want to be catered to, pitied, and treated like a "handicap."
There are also the people like some buddies of mine and myself, who are always laughing at the stupid situations we get into, being in chairs. We don't take it seriously, and we damn well find new ways to do things we used to. Yes, we have bad/frustrating days, but on a whole, we HATE being pitied or "patted on the head." We want to be seen as a person, not a wheelchair with a person in it. We are proud to call ourselves "gibbles," refusing the title "handicap."
The more I think about it, "handicap" is something someone chooses to be, just a sign you can hold over your head.
The kind of people that hold that sign over their head and expect the world to make a path for them are the kind of people I never want to know, gibbled or ablebodied. It's not an identity any more than having a mole on your @$$.
I may be rambling here, the pain meds I'm on are kinda strong, but I really think I may have a theory here. | |
|
| friends in wheelchairs - is the extra work worth it??
Posted: 3/2/2007 6:15:16 PM | We know what kind of person you are, Codee. You don't have to spell it out and hand us a dictionary.
We like spunk.
Spunk: synonym--mettle
Main Entry: met·tle
Pronunciation: 'me-t&l
Function: noun
Etymology: alteration of metal
1 a : vigor and strength of spirit or temperament b : staying quality : STAMINA <equipment that proved its mettle>
2 : quality of temperament or disposition <gentlemen of brave mettle -- Shakespeare>
Other synonyms-Pluck, game (archaic) as in, "I'm game!" (i.e., I'll give it a shot)
(Can you tell I like the OP?) | |
|
| |
| |
| |
| friends in wheelchairs - is the extra work worth it??
Posted: 3/17/2007 1:52:08 PM | Waving hello from Virginia!
Ok, as you can see, I am in a chair also... although it is 'only' due to an accident 4-ish years ago. Crushed pelivs across the front, which they repared very nicely with plates and pins and causes no problems. Broken and displaced hip which can't be repared due to plates in pelvis. So, it's "wheel chair life" for me... and I concentrate on the last word of that, which is LIFE!
I can stand on one leg, I can do so many things... and I never-ever stop being so very thankful that I can do so much. I concentrate on living thankfully and happily, rather than with any sort of "poor me" attitude. That's just who I am.
Now I WILL have, at times, an attitude about how other people view a person in a wheel chair!! I had an attitude about that before I myself landed in one, because I was a foster mom for special-need children for many many years before the accident. I already knew, beforehand, how lots of other people 'look' and 'speak' to someone in a chair. I understand, Codee, how totally irritating it was for people to talk to me instead of whatever child it was, ie: "does she want a glass of water"? I would always say, "I don't know, ask HER". And in the case of my little darling that had severe CP... I loved it when someone would actually talk to him and would always compliment them on it. "Hi, what is your name little boy?" I'd say "his name is Robert and he can't reply but he just loves that you are talking to him and not to me, thank you for that!".
So now I am retired from caring for and being a mom to children with disabilities and I am the one in a chair. Well, I'm very outgoing and friendly so usually people can tell I am easy to talk with... but still there are those few that will talk to me as if it is my brain in the chair and not my butt!!!!<< one time I actually said that to a lady, hahahaha!
Codee, you said this: (quote)I also have to say - I DON'T like it when people push me without asking. I had someone doing that in a club, and because they aren't used to the chair and how big it is, they were running people over left and right. I felt bad for them, they were outta the way. My chair is a part of me, I don't like people pushing it without me asking them to. The offer is nice, but don't just do it. Makes me feel kinda out of control too, I'm not in control of the speed, direction, etc. Ya feel more helpless, and I HATE feeling helpless. Just another thing for food for thought. (unquote)
Boy oh boy do I agree!!!!!!!!!!!! I am in total control of my chair, it's part of my body. For someone to grab hold of it and try to move me really makes life difficult, to say the least! And truth be told, I can do so much better on my own and usually faster than they could walk behind me anyway. I can stop and turn on a dime, I can go in between and around things just fine. One older lady was so sweet, though. She grabbed hold of my chair and said "oh let me push you to the store", and I was thinking "oh dear Lord I'm going to pull her over 'cos I go fast" and I was saying "no, it's ok, thanks anyway, I can do it fine, thank you" and she said "but honey, I need to lean on it to get to the store myself"!!! LOL. I of course let her.
Someone said on here that they heard: (quote)" Do you believe in God? " " No, I don't " " Well thats why you are still in a wheelchair."
Dang I got that too!! Now I DO believe in God, in fact I know of His love very personally. So what I get, from Christian people(!!!!) is this "Oh I am sure He will heal you" or "I'm praying for your healing" or "you keep your faith, He can make you walk". Goodness gracious! I always answer "I AM healed, you should have seen me before". And who are they to even THINK they know the ways of the Lord? And, by the way, why are they to be even trying to make me feel "bad off" or "not healed" or "not as good as I can be". Personally I think I am pretty darn great!
Ok what else did I read on this thread? Hmmmm, there was something else I wanted to comment on. Gheesh I'm getting forgetful in my middle age mind, haha.
Ah yes, I got it now. (Hehe, I cheated and went and looked.) I was interested in responses to these questions posted also:
(quote) this is just a question for anyone. of all the replys everyone says that they would not have a problem being FRIENDS with a person that is in a wheelchair or some other disability, but how many would date someone with a disability? how many would give a person who walks with a limp or a person in a wheelchair a second look romantically?(unquote)
Ok, I've taken up a lot of space. Sorry. But I'm sure I'll be back!
Robin ♥ | |
|
| |
| friends in wheelchairs - is the extra work worth it??
Posted: 3/20/2007 7:56:41 AM | Robin -
How frustrating would that be! To fix one thing that creates a problem with another and sticks you in a chair... geez.
The poor kids that you talk about, with disabilities. My mom works with adults with disabilities, and they get the same treatment. (they are mental disabilities, but they're still people and love as we all do to be spoken to and with, instead of at and about....) Such a small thing that we can do to brighten their days, just talk to them. Something most of us take for granted, and it must mean SO much to them.
I love your story about the older woman pushing your chair!! I've had people use me as a walker too, at least we can help, and the person needing the support doesn't look as gibbled!!
I LOVE that from some people.... about the healing thing. Here's my thought on it...
We are different.... therefore need to be 'healed' to return to the 'norm.'
We should also pray diligently for those with large noses to be 'healed.'
What makes us need to be changed? We're enjoying life, we're out there, yet we arn't good enough?
<div class="quote"> And who are they to even THINK they know the ways of the Lord?
AMEN to that! My whole family is rallying behind me being in hospital for a while to try and get some movement back, and praying hard for some. Yes, it would be nice, but it's not the end all and be all of the world. Who knows how I'm supposed to be. What is so bad about living life with wheels? In the bible plenty of people had amputated limbs etc yet Jesus didn't go around healing them all. He healed mostly the dying/dead. I'll agree, if I'm dying or dead I wouldn't mind being healed, but to assume I need it and that's what's best in the big scheme of my life is just (damn there's a perfect word for what I"m thinking... kind of arrogant... ignorant.... dammit)
I was going to word the original question/thread as more of a dating one, but then I figured people would look at my profile and think I was BS'ing about only looking for friends. I believe there are two threads up about relationships with someone in a chair, Hot Snowman put the links up earlier. Seems people assume that we need 'taking care of,' and they don't want to be that caretaker. I just say to them, well you just have to find an independent person. Same as TAB's, (Temporarily able bodied) some people want to be taken care of and babied. Others don't. Just cuz we're in chairs doesn't make us one of 'those' people, but some don't have enough experience with people in chairs I guess to realize that yet. | |
|
| friends in wheelchairs - is the extra work worth it??
Posted: 3/22/2007 11:49:52 AM | Well, anyone who thinks of friendships or such as "work" or "extra work" doesn't have a grasp on the true meaning of the word "friendship." Friendships are based on mutual respect and understanding between the parties, admiration of the other person for a combination of qualities they possess - it has very little, in my opinion, to do with the physcal prowess or limitations the person may possess. In other words, if you get the impression that people feel you're "not worth the 'extra work'", then it's time to find someone else to be your friend.
I think I speak for lots of people when I say the above. A caring and decent person doesn't care if you're in a chair or not, they want to know you for you!! | |
|
| friends in wheelchairs - is the extra work worth it??
Posted: 4/6/2007 8:14:09 AM | Jeph,
That's what I'm learning. I've got some great buddys who I've known for years, and they're all still around. I've made new friends post-para too. Actually making new friends is easier now at the clubs anyways, I have to ask for help getting carried up and down the stairs, and at the end of the night, I know the entire club! (cleating, I know, but hey, it works!) | |
|
|
|
Home
login 
