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| friends in wheelchairs - is the extra work worth it??
Posted: 4/20/2007 6:35:09 PM | This one I have problems with - two buddies and me (one quad, one para) have always joked about how we'd get 'er done.... loads of bungee cords was the verdect!
|Other than the awkwardness, I'd have no problem dating someone in a chair either ;) | |
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| friends in wheelchairs - is the extra work worth it??
Posted: 4/20/2007 7:40:07 PM | | i have a freind in a wheel chair! due to car accident! I would trade all the rest of my freinds for his freindship!Not that i need to simply cause all of us love him for a buddy!Best freinds for life! no matter what happens! we love going out with him! The extra time,or "energy" so to speak is well worth the effort. He's a great person,has tons to give and he has a good looking girlfreind even when other good looking single guys are desperatly looking! well worth it@@ | |
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| friends in wheelchairs - is the extra work worth it??
Posted: 4/20/2007 9:41:56 PM | I had the honor of being a blind man's 'seeing eye dude' for about two years...... I had no problem trying to tell him visual cues to movies when we went........laughing as pit bosses in casinos kept a watchful 'eye' on him when he accidentally threw the dice off the craps tables in Vegas...... loading his plate up at buffets...... telling him what bills he had just been given so he could fold the corners for correct identification....guiding him around rooms and telling him what was what till he 'felt' it out himself......oh....and sitting across a stage playing with him night after night......
You....I could handle....... | |
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| friends in wheelchairs - is the extra work worth it??
Posted: 4/28/2007 12:25:45 PM | Cool, I always wondered how blind people do things like that. I guess it`s all about finding ways to cope with whatever `disability`we have.
Oh and you think you could handle me...... how cute...... and how little you know about me | |
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| friends in wheelchairs - is the extra work worth it??
Posted: 4/28/2007 12:53:32 PM | i had a friend who was a quad, and that wasn't his problem. i loved being around him and being able to do things for him.
but in his case, his personality changed and that did it for me. i couldn't handle all of his negativity and being in a one sided friendship.
but the wheelchair had nothing to do with how i felt about him, but eventually it had alot to do with how he felt about himself. | |
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| friends in wheelchairs - is the extra work worth it??
Posted: 5/4/2007 1:06:30 AM | | thank you for posting this forum...I WAS curious...being a wheelchair person...I was put here by a bad blood clot amputee....Having had the luxury of being able to walk 50 and a half years...sure puts a damper in a well established lifestyle....to me it is hard to adjust to the obsticles but I generally figure out what to do...or I ask for help...like in Wal_Mart ...it seems everything i want is on that blasted top shelf...I asked one lady for help one time and she refused....saying I should get it myself...I told her...I HOPE it NEVER happens to her to know how bad it is when YOU CAN"T DO the things you want to....I have a hard time asking for help now...fear has it that all people are too busy to help out ...same thing as for the dating scene....is my wheelchair too much bother to have some real fun for a change?....IF only I'd get the chance to find out if there is actually Mr Right who cares...no matter what obsticles there are to climb...I saw this on a response and I believe it says it all..........**In my opinion being someone's friend is about being there for them - regardless of a wheelchair or not!!** | |
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| friends in wheelchairs - is the extra work worth it??
Posted: 5/4/2007 3:31:42 PM | Hotpinkangel -
I hope I never have that issue, where someone has refused to help. I'm stubborn for asking for help too, having some sort of 'disability' sure teaches ya how to not be ashamed quick! Did you read all the responses to this? To me it mostly says it's fine with people as long as the person's personality isn't all negative and bitter. You say "If only i'd get the chance to find out if there is actually a mr. right...." what's stopping you? It's not the chair for sure, as I get used to being in one and meet others in them that's not a huge barrier. More of a conversation starter actually!
forum reader -
I have a buddy who's a quad too, he's the funnest guy to party with. Always doing new and interesting things, having adventures. It's amazing how the same thing happens to two different people, and they react to it in very different ways. I'm glad he didn't get all bitter and angry, then we wouldn't be friends. I've seen/met those kind of people, and I don't see how anyone could stand to be near that and come out not wanting to slash their wrists. (or the complainers wrists in some cases!!)
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Quadly
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Joined: 8/5/2005
Msg: 184 | |
| friends in wheelchairs - is the extra work worth it??
Posted: 5/4/2007 8:21:23 PM | Hey Mel, you better stop talkin about me..lmao.
Always doing new and interesting things
Snorted any Tequila lately?
My bro is coming over in an hour..oh my..6am here we come..
Wow..lot of stuff touched upon here..
The mayor of Vancouver is a Quad. Vancouver is hosting the 2010 Olympics.
At one speach he mentioned how 30 yrs ago people were like..
"C'mon, use your willpower, get up."
Or how in many countries (lol towns) a disability is viewed as a moral issue..
"You must have done something wrong."
Amazing the attitudes that still prevail.
I was walking 17 months ago. I never will again.
So what.
I'll have a wonderful life regardless.
This is not a moral issue, nor an issue of sheer positive thinking, hard work and belief will make you walk. If that were the case, Rick Hansen would have walked a long time ago.
I have more honest friends now than pre-injury. One girl on each side taking my number at the same time..wtf?
Q | |
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| friends in wheelchairs - is the extra work worth it??
Posted: 5/11/2007 9:54:15 PM | Hey there man, you're my prime example of a "well adjusted" quad/person with a disability. I don't think I'm well adjusted in any way shape or form so I have to use you!!
No, no snorting booze latley, good memories though! The weekend I come down to party get the mugs out! (for everyone else, snorting tequila burns like a MF'er, then goes straight to your head, try it!)
And hey, just cuz you have girls on either side of you taking your number isn't cuz you're a quad, it's cuz you're hawt! | |
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| friends in wheelchairs - is the extra work worth it??
Posted: 5/18/2007 9:15:50 PM | Hi again.
It's me "Kittenz" again... new account. I kinda have a dumb question but I dunno where else to put it and I dun wanna make a new topic so....
I like going to the theatre.. mall, getting my nails done and my hair done... you know... IMPORTANT THINGS! In order to get there.. I have to drive on the highway in my chair.. on the side of the highway, anyways and I dunno but it's scary as heck out there... especially when semi's rip by you doing 50km's/hr. Luckily, it's a two lane so they scoot over and give me my room coz I like a lane to myself... ha.
Well.. I usually get 5 or 6 blocks before a cop stops me.. sirens and all. He asks why I'm on the highway... yadda yadda.. and I inform him there is no sidewalk and there's no other roads I can take to get to the mall and he realizes he's an idiot for stopping me and there's nothing he can do but tell me to be careful.
Okay fine.. yah I know I shouldn't be on the highway but there's no sidewalks!! But I get stopped by the cops ALL the time and they always leave and be on their merry way when they realize there's no other way, but the last cop TOLD me I couldn't go coz it was too dangerous. It's not like it's even a busy highway anyways! So this old bald cop tells me to go home.. doesn't even offer to take me there.. I miss my nail appointment and I'm so mad.. and he even told me he'd give me a ticket if I tried it again!
Okay, so my question.. is he allowed to do that? Or can I just ignore him and go anyways lol :) What would the ticket be for anyways? I would have asked but I was so beyond mad I missed my appointment I didn't even ask. | |
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| friends in wheelchairs - is the extra work worth it??
Posted: 5/19/2007 9:33:24 AM | I have no idea what the ticket would be for! Oh mabie "being on a highway in a vehicle that is not capable of going 50km/hr." I seem to remember seeing signs on some of them that said that. I'd call your local police station though, and ask about the specific rules about that.
Do you ever get honked at, yelled at and fingered? I find I do when I'm on buisy roads with no sidewalks. People just don't know that there's no other way.
What a GREAT way to meet hot cops though! I can't believe none of them offer you a ride though. They must know that chairs can come apart to go in a car, well I'd hope so anyways. You'd think that they'd all offer a ride, not just the one who told you to go home.
When you find out, tell us, now I"m curious!!! | |
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| friends in wheelchairs - is the extra work worth it??
Posted: 5/19/2007 6:07:21 PM | | I don't see it as extra work at all. It's just the way it has to be so us fully mobile people should just get used to it. I have a good customer that comes to my shop and he's one of the coolest/greatest people I know. He's legally a quad but can walk with much difficulty for a short distance. I go over to his place and have dinner with him and his wife sometimes and have a blast with them. I was just thinking the other day of how I can make my place more accessable so they can come to my place for dinner for a change. I'd love to also take him on my boat for a cruise but find it hard at times to talk about his mobility with him as I'm still a new friend. I think if people are really your friend , they'll be fine with what ever "extra work" is and won't think of it as "extra work". For me , I just have to get over sometimes being embarrassed to ask what my friends needs are so I can better plan outings. I know he likes to do as much as he can for himself and doesn't like it when I start to do things for him that he can do himself. So it's all about learning where the boundaries are I guess. | |
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| friends in wheelchairs - is the extra work worth it??
Posted: 5/21/2007 1:20:40 PM | Wow what a thread.
I walk with crutches... I am like a wibble wobble with them. I just fall down. I always feel that the term "friend" is to lightly thrown around. If someone is my friend in the truest sense of the definition, there is nothing I wouldn't do for them and hopefully vice versa. | |
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| friends in wheelchairs - is the extra work worth it??
Posted: 6/2/2007 11:15:29 PM | Chase,
Just ask him if he'd want to go out on your boat, and ask him how you could do it. Quads are usually better than paras about being able to direct their care because they need more. Ask him and his wife to go out with you for the first time, because she will know how to do things or arrange things.
Just make sure he knows that you won't help unless he asks. Let him 'struggle' with things, it may not be easy, convienent, or nice, but then he feels like he can do things. I have that same issue. People assume for me that I can't open doors. They'll rush ahead of me to open a door. How do they think I survive in a home with a front door and a bathroom door? I just shake my head and act like I needed the help, they seem to be happy.
Clive,
I agree, people do throw the term 'friend' around too much. I use friend sparingly and aquaintence more. I can count the number of friends I have on one hand, but I have many acquaintances. People always want to think they're on the 'friend' level, I don't know why. Friends know your secrets, acquaintances are the ones you call to go dancing with. | |
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| friends in wheelchairs - is the extra work worth it??
Posted: 6/7/2007 10:50:13 PM | hi ppl
well im not in a wheelchair at present and never have been , however ive ever the optimist and have been renovating my old shack with the idea one day i may be in a wheelchair or i may know someone who is in one
it made perfect sense to me at the start and still does , other than the ramp thing im pretty much set up for it now anyways
i read that gals comment about the cop stopping her on the street and personally id have told him where to get off
bicycles are allowed on streets and they have no licenses or ability to hit the speedlimit , even if they could hit the speed limit the brakes on them dont enable them to stop in the appropriate amount of distance .
the next time that cop pulls u over u make sure to get his badge number and his name and commanding officers name as well ans i would also log a complaint with human resources and write a letter to the editor of the sun and the journal
in this day and age where are the city planners and all thee great ideas
for a person in a wheelchair to go solo out and enjoy some quality of life and freedom only to b insulted and treated like an invalid or child told to go home is just sick
i would personally ask the cop to give me that ticket and then id get a camera and document the road and time of day and everything
then id take the prick to court and ifd fight it all the way to the top
u have every right to b on that road or pathway
in the case of there not being appropriate services set up for you it is your right as a human being to do what u need to do in the safest way possible
its truly amazing the depths these animals will go just to try to exercise their authority on a person in a wheelchair even just unbelieveable
what ya should have done is told him to take u on your errand if he felt u were doing something unsafely
a decent human beng would have offered u a ride or a hand or would have at the least parked his vehicle and walked beside u to your appointment
since when is it a crime to b in a public place in a wheelchair anyways? the rule of the road is the pedestrian always has the right of way
how could someone dare to fault u for being in a wheelchair. maybe u should have asked him if hed prefer u crawled n ur belly to your appt
so much for protect and ser e eh
wheres all the police officers maybe one of them could advise this gurl | |
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| friends in wheelchairs - is the extra work worth it??
Posted: 6/7/2007 11:35:04 PM | Trubble 
I dunno who that cop was.. I haven't seen him since.
Anyways, I was going to the store to get some stuff for supper and I rip across a 4 way stop without looking (like I always do) it's on an almost dead street... and if I do see a car I come to a rolling stop and zip by quick.. or just zip by quick ha. Who cares? It's a 4 way stop they gotta stop anyways and it's beside an elementary school!! And so I'm rolling along and a car pulls up beside me and some goof sticks his head out the window and asks why I'm not on the sidewalk... I sigh and I'm all like dood... I dunno if you live around here but you see those lil rocks on the sidewalk.. its crumbled... and there's a 2 inch drop off the curb... I can't get up or down it on my own!!! The sidewalk is fawked and I prefer the road..... is that okay with you? (I was getting a little irritated... silly me.)
So I glance at this guy and I see he's wearing a uniform... and I drive close to the car and I see the cop gadgets inside... so now I'm thinking.. oh fawk lol. That damn 4 way stop!! But no, he didn't care about that.. he was more concerned I wasn't driving on a crumbly bumpy sidewalk.. and he literally fights with me driving down the road LOL. after like 3 minutes he agrees that the sidewalk isn't wheelchair friendly and because it was daylight that it was okay, although he did prefer I was on the sidewalk... he repeated it like 4 times. Alls he says after is be careful... he looked new so I didn't pay much attention to him... he was a young cute guy LOL
3 days ago the same cop sees me driving on the HIGHWAY.... the same highway the first old bald cop seen me on.. but this time the cute young one waved at me LOL.
Figures.. gets mad coz I'm on a dead street, but waves at me when I'm on a busy highway??
Not to mention a sidewalk has a bump every 3 feet and that has to be the most annoying thing in the world. I wouldn't go on a stupid sidewalk even if I could :) | |
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| friends in wheelchairs - is the extra work worth it??
Posted: 6/8/2007 3:48:52 PM | Like I say girlonline, you've found the golden ticket to meeting hot cops!!
Some people are just ignorant no matter what they do as a job, but it is funny when it comes from someone in 'power!' You've got great stories girl! | |
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| friends in wheelchairs - is the extra work worth it??
Posted: 6/10/2007 3:25:40 AM | | Well anyone who has been out for a night in Dublin and is unlucky enough to have a wheel chair will notice thats its only a really good friend who will stick around for an extra 3 or 4 hours waiting for a wheelchair enabled taxi to pick them up, apart from that , friends is friends | |
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| friends in wheelchairs - is the extra work worth it??
Posted: 7/30/2007 1:18:28 AM | Codee....You asked what is stopping me from finding Mr Right...well #1 NO Vehicle..(this town is very small ...but where I am the driveway is even with a steep incline...#2...being a CABBAGE PATCH Doll and not Barbie...strikes me out too...#3...My age...and then #4 there is that accessibility factor....I did venture out one day ...my daughter had to work in a town close to ours and she took me to my old stomping grounds a bar..( I don't drink BUT love the friends there..)...anyway...I was there about 6 hours one afternoon...the bathroom was NOT accessible so I had to roll 1 and half blocks to a gas station to use the facilities...Talk about cutting things close..LOL...Am hoping to get my power chair soon...that will make a world of difference...
My 4th year will be August 6th....maybe I will get good news that day that it is in the makings...
I am very independant other than going to the store ...dr...etc. because of no vehicle I have to depend on my daughter to take me...but I DID keep my driver's license current ...just incase I find a vehicle I can afford that has HC access....or...IF my daughter or friends need a designated driver I can lend a hand there...
....Any fellas...near St Louis MO...ILLINOIS side who MIGHT be interested in a CABBAGE PATCH DOLL???....contact me..LOL...hugs to all....Donna | |
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| friends in wheelchairs - is the extra work worth it??
Posted: 7/30/2007 9:15:47 AM | You're a hockey fan, what else matters?!?
(I think as long as there is a specific interest you share with that person, it should be at most an afterthought. If there's nothing to the relationship other than someone wanting to be there to help you, it may not work as well.) | |
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