| Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 11/21/2008 9:39:14 PM | | I am dating one. But the thing that I have in objection to it is (coming from my punjabi friends) that in the end most Indian guys end up marrying an Indian girl just to pelase their parents. So why would I waste my time? So he can dumb me once he wants to marry. Someone explain this. Why are E. I. men cowards to stand up to their parents. | |
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| Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 11/21/2008 11:32:31 PM | This is an interesting topic. I have never been interested in East Indian men. It's not that I don't find them attractive (I have the hots for my son's pediatrician whom is east indian) but I guess I just have always been more attracted to white guys. It's just like as you say some white guys like east indian women. Same ordeal.
My number one concern has been east indian men whom have contacted me have different religious beliefs and it's important that a person i date has the same religious beliefs as me. I would not oppose an attracive east indian guy who was also a christian. :) | |
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| Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 11/21/2008 11:51:07 PM | OP
My youngest daughter dated an East Indian man for a very short time. She is very attractive. She broke off the relationship after the first time he brought her home to meet his family and this is why. She claims everyone fussed over her but she was alarmed at the way he commanded his mother AND sisters. I don't know if it was an exaggeration but she felt that he almost snapped his fingers and they scuttled to serve him. Could this be true? | |
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| Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 11/26/2008 7:18:09 AM | | Lil Brooker - The experience your daughter had is quite common in East Indian cultures where unfortunately, men and women are not seen as equals. However, I think this guy's family is very old fashioned and certainly back dated in their customs. Most of the Indian families living the US now are progressed beyond such traditional customs. I assure, that if I snapped my fingers at my mom or sister or "commanded" them in any way, I would get severely yelled at and reprimanded. | |
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| Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 11/26/2008 8:24:07 AM | I am East indian to and I completely agree with you. I will find much more luck dating a white girl in person than on online websites.
A lot of stuff on onlne adting is to do with looks and people take great efforts I find to take special snap shots of themselves. If u see my pic I haven,t worn andthing special .It is not some potrait photo . I would be interestedto know how many more responses I would get if I took all that trouble.
I know one has to dress well and look good but what matters inside is as important as what is inside.
Anthony | |
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| Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 11/26/2008 2:17:10 PM | Replying to message 86...Yeah you do all look alike And give me the creeps... | |
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Zain.
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Joined: 9/20/2005
Msg: 232 | |
| Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 11/29/2008 4:26:06 PM | ^^^^
"people say all black people look alike we don't flip out we just call them police"
dave chapelle 
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p~s
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Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 233 | |
| Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 2/5/2009 7:23:43 PM | Reluctant.
I could care less if you are of a major minority group.
I'm reluctant because Indian men I've met or liked are expected to keep up family traditions and their parents expect them to marry good little Indian women.
I respect preserving your traditions and values but if your mom tells you what to do when you are in your 30's then you aren't a man at all.
I know it isn't true in all cases, but it is generally true and us white women get hurt because you guys want to play with us but don't want to stick around. | |
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p~s
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Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 234 | |
| Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 2/5/2009 7:26:25 PM | hmmm,,,not likely.
The mothers command their sons. Believe me. | |
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| Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 2/5/2009 8:40:22 PM | OP msg 3 post: ANSWER - Yes it definately would be. I have actually dated someone who was born and brought up in India and it just did not work out due to too many differences in values.
I find this totally strange, I'm a caucasian and dated a great Indian woman who grew up in India , intellegent, educated, and i sure didn't see any differences in values or much else from any other woman of any other background, i think it's all in your mind and just about what you desire....women are women, whatever country, background, etc. etc. all different, but all women, wonderful things, from anywhere | |
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| Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 2/6/2009 4:06:49 PM | | No reluctance whatsoever; I have done so, and enjoyed their company. | |
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| Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 2/6/2009 9:50:37 PM | | OK, let me give you an un-biased, politically incorrect, and matter-of-fact answer. The U.S. has many people from different continents' origins on this earth live here. For the most part (my humble opinion), the culture of the U.S. over the years has been more and more tolerant of the difference in other people's background. However, when it comes to mating/dating/family building people tend to go with what they are used to and grow up with. This country was built by Europeans. So the majority of the people are caucasians in the classification. Imagine if you will that you grow up in an all white neighborhood your environment and your background will influence you to date/marry a white person. It is only natural right? OK, there are some people who are more interested in dating someone else from different race because they like it for whatever reason. However, that is in the small number and not enough of a dating pool for everyone to date. If you count all people of all races that want to date/marry someone outside of their race, you do not have enough people to pair up! Therefore, the conclusion is that if you are not caucasian in the U.S. and you fancy someone who is in the majority of the race you set yourself up for failure. Maybe only 1 out of 100 women on here will date you. That is life and you have to deal with it. If you have better answer, let me know because I'm only 5'2 and I want to join the NBA. | |
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| Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 2/9/2009 6:45:42 PM | | From my own experience, the thing I find about Indian men is that they are not as aggressive as some other men may be in terms of pursuing women. I don't think it has anything to do with one being Black, Asian etc. its about confidence and going after what you want in an assertive (not desperate) way. | |
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| Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 2/17/2009 1:56:41 PM | | This is not always the case. My parents didn't have an arranged marriage. I was married for some time to an east European woman and my parents supported my decision. I think there is a lot of stereotyping going on here. My brother is married to a Caucasian American female and they have two lovely kids. And love each other very much. I have many friends who are Indian and are married to white American Women. I also have friends who have mixed parents (Indian Father and Caucasian American Mother). All are very happy and successful in their relationships. The only thing I can think of is if some guys use the parent’s approval thing as an easy out clause. If you love someone then you should stick by him or her. I am half Indian. I respect my parents but make all my decisions freely and independently. So I don’t buy this mother rules business. This sounds way too much like an Indian movies. And just like Hollywood, Bollywood exaggerates. Come on P~S. If you break up with a Caucasian male are you saying your feeling wouldn’t get hurt? Or you would date a Caucasian man again? Or would it hurt less to date a Caucasian man? Break up are messy, People make excuses, and blame others. There are way too may people with too little information about Indians, Arabs and other cultures. I would suggest that you date few and give them every opportunity as you would anyone else. There are always exceptions to the rule and it doesn’t matter what culture you are from. | |
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| Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 2/17/2009 1:59:28 PM | | Don't worry about it. As long as you both are happy and support each other. Tell everyone to go fly a kite! If they support you they are not your friends! As are as being cowards .. Its more respect them fear. This is common is not only East Indians but most Asians. Look around you will find the same. | |
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| Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 2/17/2009 2:07:42 PM | | This is double edged sword. I have been told that I am very too agressive. I can point out many women that say Indian men are very agressive in relationships and in business. I would say - Understand them and if the objective is the same then be happy and worry about other real issues like unemployment and recession. | |
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p~s
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Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 242 | |
| Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 3/13/2009 6:38:32 PM | Hi InSearchfortheone .
Maybe they do use this as an out, actually I've only really liked a couple Indian men, started seeing one for a while. Ok, I admit part of what I said was based on the stories of friends experiences but I've heard it from Indian men that they just use white women for sex. It's disgusting the things I've heard them claim. It was on an Indian vs white forum and maybe they were purposely trying to be rude but the attitude from men born in India was generally that white girls are easy and they don't mind messing around with us but when it comes down to marriage they prefer to settle with and Indian woman.
The Indian man I started to see for a while was married once before in an arranged marriage and his parents were pressuring him to go to India and chose another wife.
I'm just saying that the mothers really do have some real pull. Not just basing this on my own limited experience of knowing Indian men.
I know there are exceptions but you do have to be careful because some of the less open families where the parents don't like whites do to stereotypes will undermine the relationship.
Of course if I break up with Anyone regardless of race I will be hurt. | |
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| Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 3/13/2009 7:13:00 PM |
Nobody can come even near to India man. We should saltute them. In Europe, North America and othe countries, the divorce rates have reached 60% and touching 70%. India is the only country in the world, where divorce rate is less than 1%.
Well I'll have to take your word for that.
I would suggest there are a whole bunch of different social dynamics here relating to family social standing, pressure and pride. In many asian cultures one's obligation to their family overrides all other considerations, and the consequences can often be deadly. In India there are plenty of once-beautiful girls permanently scarred by acid because they spurred a suitor's advances and it's just accepted, marriages are arranged between families and the individual's wishes are disregarded.
Divorce in these families is a matter of great shame and the pressure to stay together even in the face of marital rape and domestic violence is often enormous.
Nobody should be forced to stay in an unhappy relationship for the sake of 'face' and people who peddle this line have nothing to be proud of. | |
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Zain.
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Joined: 9/20/2005
Msg: 244 | |
| Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 3/17/2009 11:43:58 AM | "but I've heard it from Indian men that they just use white women for sex. "
You could say that about any man of any race.
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| Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 3/17/2009 3:21:41 PM | I read every single page of this thread, well I skipped page 9....and I have come to this conclusion about my chances... Ahhh Crap!
So much stereotyping here, I could make a record. There are a few of you that made good points in dispelling this Indian man controlling/using/sexist/crapola but unfortunately judging from what most people here have stated, it is no wonder most of us brownies get looked over, despite how different and unique we might be from the rest. Judged before being read.
Myself, I am somewhat traditional, but I would not mess around with a woman just for thrills. I know many families from India/Pakistan who live here (first generation immigrants, with kids raised/or born here) who are open and understanding and most importantly loving of their son's/brother's choice whether it's a white woman, hispanic, or of the same culture. You simply have to give each person a chance.
I think my points have been done and beaten to death. We're all gonna die sad, hateful, and bitter!
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| Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 3/17/2009 5:39:39 PM | | I have dated one East Indian man in my life. He was kind, warm and loving. I would not overlook anyone due to their heritage. | |
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p~s
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Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 247 | |
| Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 3/17/2009 7:20:36 PM | "You could say that about any man of any race."
No I don't think so. In western culture men chose who they want to be with without worrying that there families will consider themselves shamed by his choice and disowning him. Also I think there's a lot more pressure in an Indian family to listen to and respect their elders, not that that's wrong in any way but there is definitely more restrictions because of that, especially if the Indian man is taking care of or going to be taking care of his folks in their old age right? He would certainly consider what they want for him for the sake of there being piece in the home. very very few white men will ever bother to take care of their parents, I respect this tradition but it definitely gives a guy a reason to maybe consider sticking to his own women because of culture and language. Just makes things easier in the long run for him and his family.
maybe I'm wrong? | |
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p~s
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Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 248 | |
| Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 3/17/2009 7:24:39 PM | but I've heard it from Indian men that they just use white women for sex. "
'You could say that about any man of any race.'
Sorry, completely read and answered that wrong.
Yes you're right that can be said of any man of any race, unfortunately. But the other races don't mind actually settling down with a white girl. I know there's Indian men who are ok with white girls too but fewer I think. | |
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p~s
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Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 249 | |
| Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 3/17/2009 7:30:19 PM | | I want to clarify though that I'm not at all against brownies but, yes, I'm thinking from what I've heard and experienced that a girl needs to know what she's getting into from the word go when it comes to dating a brownie. Make sure that she wont be getting involved with someone she can't really be with in the end due to complications with his family or lack of understanding that not all white woman are porn stars :P | |
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| Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 3/17/2009 10:00:27 PM | And noone is saying white women are umm yah. And I've seen my fair share of Indian/Paki men who have married white women, many many who have children and who's children (daughter/sons) are married and have grandchildren.
And just because we care about our parents and respect them does not mean that we will not be allowed to marry who we choose and create a problem within our family. Many of our parents are open minded to the possibility of marrying someone who is not of the same ethnicity. Of course there are 100 details to be worked out but the point is that listening to our parents doesn't mean we are doomed to marry only what they see fit, or that the folks are closed minded about what kind of woman we can marry. Heck, my sister is marrying a Caucasian man whom she met off another dating site for crying out loud. My parents have met and accept him, and his family . Of course he converted to our religion (by his own free will) and that is an import aspect, in many cases.
I believe we need to take these stereotypes and take them apart one person at a time if it has to be done, because from what I gathered at least from this 10 page forum is that most of these stereotypes are from personal experience (bad apples) and hearsay. Again, my personal experience as far as knowing couples has been that they are quite positive relationships. | |
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