| Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 6/2/2009 1:37:15 AM | | I think maybe in twenties there is a larger dating pool, maybe is why more interest for your son. When you reach forty there is smaller and smaller dating pool as more people are married at this age. | |
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| Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 6/2/2009 10:54:34 AM | | I'm a big fan of Indian men :) I'm a white American woman living in London. I think if I had stayed in the US my interest wouldn't be as developed as it is now. If I move to the US I will still be interested. I think it's all down to personal interests! Or else a lack of exposure. Good things come to those who wait! | |
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p~s
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Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 278 | |
| Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 6/2/2009 12:46:00 PM | [Haha! ABCD.. I didn't think any one outside of our community even knew what that meant.... American Born Confused Desi.. (Desi - [day-see]: noun; a phrase used mostly by people of Indian/Pakistani origin to refer to their own ethnicity, usually employed by ones living abroad such as in North America)]
Well I've been friends with a couple Indians in the past, don't speak the language or anything but I did pick up a couple of things :D
[Peace out. Or something. ]
Or Namaste ? | |
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p~s
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Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 279 | |
| Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 6/2/2009 12:53:51 PM | [India has changed very much. Women, are not covered up and docile these days. Just rent any new Bollywood film and you'll see . :)]
I haven't really watched any Bollywood but I was under the impression that you have two types of women portrayed in them, the pure woman and the Item girl, I guess the item girl is indicating of how sexuality is beginning to gain more acceptance in the Indian film industry. | |
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| Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 6/2/2009 4:04:49 PM | I used to work with Indian people for almost 5 years. I learned from them that they practiced arrange marriage to get married. The parents are the one who pick or decide for their bride or groom. If they pick someone for their daughter or son, they set up a date for them to meet. They said there's no dating, the parents will talk to set up the wedding. My Boss asked me one time if my parents are looking for someone to marry me. I said no, then I asked him if he also had an arranged marriage. He said yes. Then one time I found an indian newspaper and when I looked at it, I saw there's a classified ad for personals where indian parents put an ad for their daughters or sons who are looking for marriage. I couldn't believe my eyes! My Boss told me he had some gf from the past but I think his parents had a good choice for him and I think he's happy with his wife and 2 kids. But I remamber when he told me never to date Indian men, and I was surprised when he told me that. Of course I asked why, and he said because Indians are cheap! He said, they count everything even a dollar. Sometimes I told him on his face that he's cheap and he replied yes I am cheap!
Personally, I can't date an Indian men, not because my Boss told me not to. But I've met some of them, worked with some of them and I didn't really get along with them. I've met one indian guy through friends. We became friends but just really friends. When I told him that I work with Indian people, he told me Indian people are the most difficult to deal with. I was so surprised when he told me that. And this guy likes to date white women. I just stopped talking to him because one time we went to a party together as friends. At the party he's just gone, then he called me and told me he left already with some white women from the party. But he was nice though. East Indian are very conservative people. I used to work with an indian woman and I heared that she was talking behind my back. She said she didn't like the way I dress. And I always caught her looking at me like checking out what I was wearing. She always wear long sleeve top like all covered. I heard that once they are married they are not allowed to wear something that exposed their arms, chest, back, or legs. So she hates me when I'm wearing sleeveless tops or mini skirts. And it's really annoying. The way she look at me is like I'm a bad woman for wearing something like that. Her husband also works there so some of my co-worker told me that maybe she's thinking that I'm a threat to her husband. I said please, if I want to attract someone else husband, I'll find someone who are good looking. Her husband is so short and ugly and also has a strong body odor, ewww! Being conservative is not a bad but being judgemental is not good. | |
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| Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 6/2/2009 4:05:05 PM | When a slim, tall, attractive white lady has lots of white male friends, it's very obvious she won't be interested for Indian males. Education etc matters nothing, only thing matters is the look and feel of the same race people. And also via Internet no such lady will be interested for any Indian male for sure. If they see each other at work or so then something might spark, although very unlikely.
POF being a free site usually women in general has a Very High unrealistic expectations over here and may like to wait for their lifetime to find someone. They also forget that looks fade with time and age but dumb is forever. Also the male2female ratio is very high. On top of that younger males as compared to the females are very important for 37+ women. As dating an younger male as low as 20 or so make them feel back to that lost age. When all these negatives work internet dating for Indian males becomes unpossible. Also women in the California area are more open to date other than white males as they are grown up that way seeing others, whereas in the east coast women don't have such mindset. any 40+ Indian males should know that if U show interest to white women your first contact message will be deleted sometimes unread also. Sometimes women reply saying it's not a match. For this reason a dating preference option in the Profile would make life easier for all. Match.com has such option. | |
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| Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 6/2/2009 4:44:55 PM | queensgirl09:
What U said is your own personal experience. And what U said about the way Indian ladies dress is also your personal findings. When I was a married person I never imposed dress code, my view is "Go with the flow" or "As the country goes so are the customs". Most of the Indians are happily married in US and that's why it's not easy to find around 40+ single indian males/females, i.e supply is extremely limited as compared to white or the predominant people. So when an Indian male/female becomes Single he/she has to be realistic to find someone for dating to see a relationship is possible or not. I also think that some Indian males/females might be fascinated with white females/males. In US I hope we would be able to make that individual choice. Best thing is to go for the mind because it is the mind which keeps the relationship. Usually when people only think about the Physical Attraction, wining and dining, sooner or later they find the charm has ended. | |
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| Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 6/2/2009 9:58:33 PM |
Being conservative is not a bad but being judgemental is not good. I dunno. Ya think?  | |
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| Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 6/2/2009 11:37:57 PM | I am technically not East Indian since I am from Sri Lanka, but most people seem to ignore that fact (since I look like them and sound like them) and so will I for this discussion 
My ethnicity has never been a hindrance to dating women from any race. In the last 7 years (I've lived in California), I've dated vietnamese, chinese, East Indian, Caucasian (American), Caucasian (British), German, Swedish. Jewish, Eukranian, Russian, Ethyopian, African American and Japanese women. I never felt that there is a huge cultural difference, but no matter what ethnicity the person was, if they were conservative in their values, I found it hard to be compatible.
I've learned that looks, skin color and perceived values are only superficial in many levels, but a real connection is not based on these IMHO | |
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| Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 6/3/2009 3:24:32 PM | | I'm sorry but no. Has to be white. Its not racist i just rather date someone as the same color as me. For me its always a religous thing for me not to date people that are or look arab sorry | |
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| Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 6/4/2009 12:02:24 AM | [I used to work with an indian woman and I heared that she was talking behind my back. She said she didn't like the way I dress. And I always caught her looking at me like checking out what I was wearing. She always wear long sleeve top like all covered. I heard that once they are married they are not allowed to wear something that exposed their arms, chest, back, or legs. ]
Really? That is not true at all. Both my sisters are married, and they can wear whatever they feel like it. Some traditional clothes, such as the sari, reveals quit a bit (mostly stomach area). I am sure there are women who are not allowed to, but again you are generalizing. Come on, we do have the Kama Sutra here :).
As far as the two types of girls shown in movies, well, maybe in some movies. However, the "item" girl is now the main actress. Sure, we as a culture do value women who cover up to a certain extent, but times are chaning. There is so many variation of Indian people. All Indian people do not share the same culture, food, religion, or language. India is a huge country, with various cultures mixed into one. Yes, there is certain similarities between most Indian "cultures", but there is similarites between all cultures and religions.
Again, you cannot judge a whole group of people based on a few interactions. People in all religions, races, cultures, nationalities, etc are not all the same.
If you do not have a physical attraction towards Indian men, sure don't date them. But don't prevent yourself from dating an "East Indian Man" because of sterotypical notions. He may be an ***hole, sure, but he also may turn out to be the best thing ever. | |
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| Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 6/13/2009 3:18:21 PM | well, let me clear some air first..All of indians you people dated are those who are not having higher degrees, I dont think indian women need to cover her self like any thing or arrange marriage issues. But we love our parents and generally if they like the gal then only we married that gal..cmmon how can u imagine to get ur parents hurt naa!!!! never they are every thing for indians. And some body said that indians are cheap my friend it again depend upon class to class! i mean person who is working as a cleaner or store worker will even save a penny for a family. But Generally Engineers and other who is having higher degrees are not cheap.
Ha ha Indians who said indians are bad, difficult to deal, cheap , never date them are loosers they dont know what their culture is, may be they r too americanised, they are shame on themselves to be indian. Thts the truth :)..so please dont even think of dating a person who says like this, how can u date a looser who is shame on what he is..:)
Amen! | |
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| Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 6/14/2009 10:34:24 AM | Regarding this comment-
well, let me clear some air first..All of indians you people dated are those who are not having higher degrees
Very wrong my friend Prashant has a Masters degree from a school In USA. All of his sisters also hold a Masters degree. As for only marring a girl your parents like? Whose life is it? They had their choice to make in love and marriage, now its yours. Any parent who loved you would also not want to see you hurt by not liking your choice. | |
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| Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 6/14/2009 12:47:03 PM | Lol, I was just going to post about this, but from a more "scientific" angle.
I've been on the site for a month or so and as a curious and scientific minded person i've started analyzing a few things about the "demographics" of girls showing any level of interest in me. By looking at who's viewed my profile (which may indicate interest but not necessarily) to who has sent me messages (which definitely shows "some" level interest), I've realized that race/ethnicity is by far, the most similar shared characteristic between those women.
Like the OP, I'm East Indian and I live in a predominately white community, yet the overwhelming number of women sending me messages, viewing my profile are of an east indian background....which I guess shouldn't be that surprising but it is kind of odd. I've only dated indian and black/mixed women, and that just seems odd, given the demographic of the neighborhood i reside in (overwhemingly white). it's not that i want to date white women, i'm just interested in WHY there's basically no attention from them yet much more from a smaller minority (in terms of POF's overall membership).
all of this leads me to several questions on the topic:
how much does race/ethnicity play a role in attraction?
what role does the media and other external factors play in how women of other races' perceive you?
are women less likely to "look" outside of their race than men?
am i intrinsically less attractive to other women than i am to women coming from a similar racial background? | |
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| Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 6/14/2009 12:49:56 PM | | obviously this is just about "attraction" on a superficial level, but it's fascinating to me. i'm such a numbers/patterns nerd. | |
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| Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 6/14/2009 4:19:34 PM | I can't help sitting here laughing to myself. I'm crazy about Indian guys. I think they are soooo cute
Would I be listed as a troll if I told Indian guys to message me? Probably,so I better not say it | |
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| Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 6/14/2009 5:27:59 PM | Very wrong my friend Prashant has a Masters degree from a school In USA. All of his sisters also hold a Masters degree. As for only marring a girl your parents like? Whose life is it? They had their choice to make in love and marriage, now its yours. Any parent who loved you would also not want to see you hurt by not liking your choice.
Well, Again it depend upon person to person....The thing is in our country we love our parents like any thing, our culture give them respect and status more than the god. so generally we dont go against their wishes, And most of the times they are always agree with the son's choice. Its not about we need to always follow their instructions, its all about respect and love we have for them. | |
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| Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 6/16/2009 2:54:11 PM | | Hmm and you think that beacuse my skin is white that I do not love and respect my parenta as much as you do? Very big misconception, I talk to my parents almost everyday and value their viewpoints on any decisions that I make in life, but the difference there is my family would never stop treating me like their daughter if I made a decision they do not like. | |
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| Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 6/16/2009 10:13:21 PM | I have found many East Indian men to be attractive and charming and with good
educational backgrounds-- the only issue comes in for me when they have stricter
ideas about women and a womans role --- americanized or not, you may still be
influenced by family members overseas or family who still carry some ideals about
different views than americans... thats not for all, of course, but its my experience that many indian men want the control. | |
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| Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 6/17/2009 10:05:23 AM | Sexyangel17 Joined: 5/23/2009 Msg: 285 Dating East Indian Men Posted: 6/3/2009 5  32 PM I'm sorry but no. Has to be white. Its not racist i just rather date someone as the same color as me. For me its always a religous thing for me not to date people that are or look arab sorry
OK that last sentence has got to be one of the more ... hmm.. how do I put it tactfully, ah screw it. It's one of the more ignorant comments I've read here.
So you're saying East Indians look like Arabs, and so because Arabs are mostly Muslims (assuming that is your contention), you will not date East Indians??? WTF kind of logic is that?!?? So by your reasoning, East Indian Hindus, Arab Muslims, Arab Christians, etc All LOOK the SAME? Give me a minute.
HAHAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAH.
Ok sorry.
My, my. I feel sorry for you, as you are sadly just perpetuating the image of the ignorant narrow minded religious person (my educated guess would be Christian?). It's too bad your profile is closed, I'd love for you to respond...
Well I've been friends with a couple Indians in the past, don't speak the language or anything but I did pick up a couple of things :D
[Peace out. Or something. ]
Or Namaste ?
Ah I just didn't realize you had secret access via friends, so to speak. ;) Yes, Namaste would be the right greeting, except I'm not Hindu. ;)
Let's try something more generic.. Hmm..
Toodles! | |
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| Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 6/17/2009 10:34:06 AM | | I will not date an Asian guy because of what I have seen so far. Their families intervene so much and it feels like I am dating the whole family. I found most of them say they are westernized but when I got closer I found that they still hold the same values of me man, you woman... | |
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| Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 6/17/2009 1:17:46 PM | ...when I got closer I found that they still hold the same values of me man, you woman...
While I will not disagree with your observation or experience with that, I will point out that that sort of view is held by many people in western society be it Caucasian, black, brown, pink, or purple. Personally I don't think I have issues such as "me man you woman." My SO is free to do with her life as she pleases, be it school, work, friends, as long as it is a healthy influence, no different than what I would do for myself. However, many men in general may find it intimidating (possibly that or other reasons) when a woman is more successful than them. Or maybe you have come across men who like to be dominant and have a submissive partner? Just some guesses. | |
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| Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 6/19/2009 1:54:24 PM | | Now when i said ur white skin u dont respect your parents, Indian parents never interfere with dating stuff but if you taking a big decision like marriage they would obviously express their views | |
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p~s
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Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 299 | |
| Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 6/19/2009 2:57:04 PM | My parents don't have to like who I'm going to marry since they will never have to live with him. Regardless, like the in the work place you may not think the world of a coworker but you can still learn to get along, that's how it works in western families when parents are less than thrilled with a sig. other. Usually it works out just fine too.
If a child is taught all the values of their parents from an early age and is raised with wisdom then those children when they reach adulthood should be capable of making wise decisions for themselves without the parents having to approve. | |
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| Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 6/19/2009 3:21:12 PM | | My parents with a big decision like marriage express their views also, they also think I am an intelligent adult and will tell me what they think and say the decision is mine to make. When I told my parents Prashant asked me to marry him, my parents said great when can we meet him? When they met Prashant they hugged him and welcomed him and said to me later he seems to really love you and is very sincere. Prashant's parents on the other hand said to him when he asked what if he married a lady from USA, his mother said- How can I live without my only son? No we do not want that. Never asked can we meet her, what is she like, ect. I do not know you or your family, but I can go only on my own personal experience and to other women's experiences. I also have a friend who is married to an Indian guy and they lived toghter for 5 years and he took her to India with him to his sisters wedding and said she is a coworker. They loved her and his mom told her that she feels like she is her daughter. When Sachin told them he wants to marry her a year or so later, all hell broke loose. Told him to immediately break it off with her, told his friends to get him away from her. lHe ended up marrying her and they have a baby girl now. He went to India to visit, bought them a new car. Then he told them he had gotten married and they yelled for hours and said they dont beleive him and he left next day back home . Since then- Nov 2008 they have not spoken to him. Anyways what Im saying is these things do happen and women need to know that the culture is completely differnt before dating a man born in India. | |
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