| |
| |
| Would you have a relationship with a guy who's living paycheck by paycheck?
Posted: 11/1/2006 10:20:55 PM | lovely bonita-I know what you are saying. I find guys that have a little more stabillity to be more appealing. I can manage my entire household/bills/yard/kids myself and don't need any man! It's hard to date someone that doesn't have their sh!t together because you feel like your always putting the money out. It's one thing if your in school aslong as their is some kind of motivation. I don't believe money is everything aslong as you can pay your bills and put food in your belly. Just sucks if your the only one contributing.
From the sounds of it..I would find yourself a better man! | |
|
| Would you have a relationship with a guy who's living paycheck by paycheck?
Posted: 11/1/2006 11:12:46 PM | | If he's living paycheck to paycheck but has some direction in life and some goals then I'm ok with that. If he's blowing all of it on things that won't help him in the future and relying on me to support him then I will definitely pass. Been there before, don't care to do it again! | |
|
| |
| |
| |
| Would you have a relationship with a guy who's living paycheck by paycheck?
Posted: 11/2/2006 7:09:01 AM | My thinking is this...........HE WORKS! Now if money is coming out of your pocket more than his , then I think there is a problem but if he is contributing to things you both do to together than maybe you should be accepting that he isnt this well off dude who can give you a "certain lifestyle" and just a normal, hard working man which I am thinking most of us would be more than happy with.
Geez it isnt about money, what you have or don't have but how he treats you........really how does he treat you? If you're happy with that part of it, than you work together to build a stronger financial future. Working together........... | |
|
| Would you have a relationship with a guy who's living paycheck by paycheck?
Posted: 11/2/2006 7:23:17 AM |
As I know, he spent his money to go to clubs by himself. I talked to his boss (my friend) the other day and he told me it's really hard to get him a visa since he didn't have any special skills but he worked for him because they are friends for a long time
bonita, unless you and this guy are commited i wouldn't even worry about his finacial statis since it's none of your business. if he wants to go to the clubs, let him go, it's his money. you should condem him for what he does with his own money on his time. as for talking to your friend about him, unless you're really interested in this guy and want to have a relationship with him, leave his name out of your conversation. what his boss is doing is completely wrong and shouldn't be telling you what this guy does on his own time. now as for this guy not being able to get a visa because of not having any special skills, what's stopping your friend from helping this guy? why doesn't your friend (his boss) help him by teaching him things. i know that you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink, but i also know that you can teach an old dog new tricks. maybe if your friend (his boss) was suck a good friend and been friends for a long time (as you say), i don't know, i always believed that a friend will always be there for a friend through thick and thin. they would be there for guidance, coaching, as well as someone to talk to or a shoulder to cry on. honestly, if i had a friend like your friend (the boss) i would have something to say to him about being a friend.
wow, i guess people must really think of me as being a sucker.....i just care too much for and about my friends and even their loved ones. i even went to the extent as to receiving a phonecall 5:30 one saturday morning from a friend that threatened to kill himself, for an hour & a half drive it took me almost an hour to get there to sit with him. he's fine now. | |
|
| Would you have a relationship with a guy who's living paycheck by paycheck?
Posted: 11/2/2006 9:18:06 AM | | i totally agree with onedayatatime, here i thought he was getting some goverment money and that is what you where complaining about? BUT HE WORKS.... well good for him, soo is the rest of the world!!! geez girl to me this sounds like it's all about you! ? you don't like him for who he is that is obivious ... move on with your life .. find someone else ... I think he deserves better. | |
|
| Would you have a relationship with a guy who's living paycheck by paycheck?
Posted: 11/2/2006 10:13:59 AM |
here i thought he was getting some goverment money and that is what you where complaining about? BUT HE WORKS.... well good for him
My income is from government money. I'm a disabled veteran, so I get compensation. I don't work, but I still live pretty decent. Does this make it BAD for me because I'm not working?
My brother once made a comment to me about guys like him working to support guys like me on welfare. This comment was made about a month out of the hospital, when I first got diagnosed with the heart condition.
I didn't get to bothered by it. I did tell him to kiss my butt. Then I just had to ask him if he's ever been in the service (I knew the answer to that). I told him NO? Guys like me serving my country so guys like you can make the dumb ass comments you made to me!
I still haven't seen him or spoken with him since. Oh well, life goes on.
At 22, she still has a LOT to learn about life and the whole paycheck to paycheck living. | |
|
| |
| |
kmhstx
|
Joined: 8/23/2005
Msg: 39 | |
| Would you have a relationship with a guy who's living paycheck by paycheck?
Posted: 11/2/2006 11:03:43 AM | | Hey atleast he's making a paycheck. With the cost of living, and education these days even people who are lucky enough to get a job right out of university/school are likely to be living paycheck to paycheck if they have student loans. I'm not there, but I have been, and I can still take care of myself. I have plans for the future. What I won't date is someone unemployed with no ambition to change the situation...someone content to let the gov/mom and dad support him. Nope that I won't deal with. | |
|
| |
| Would you have a relationship with a guy who's living paycheck by paycheck?
Posted: 11/2/2006 12:59:08 PM | I totally have nothing against goverment income, I know it can help people out in tough situtations, what I meant was I thought she was complaining ABOUT him being on assistance.
Money is money, and that is his choice, no one elses. also I dated a man from the military soo I do respect that you where/ are in the service, I may not live in the usa but I have a magnet on my fridge for the troops and that means any troop.
Kristie | |
|
| Would you have a relationship with a guy who's living paycheck by paycheck?
Posted: 11/2/2006 1:30:55 PM | I understand what you are trying to say OP. A lot of people are just mistaking your post for another one of the women on here (of which there are many) who are with their men for the money and looking for men with money so all they see is your reference to money and jump down your throat.
There are huge differences between the two basic categories of paycheck to paycheck people:
#1. scenario-There are people out there who are living paycheck to paycheck who are striving towards a home of their own and who are eking out their living one new thing at a time and who juggle their lives according to the pay periods (i.e.vacations, days out, bill paying, and aquiring new things). This type of person is a good portion of the population of men and women. These are the people who get together and through the two incomes are still living beyond their means but not so much to get themselves into trouble. They buy homes, live off their credit, and still enjoy happy meaningful lives.
#2. scenario-There are a group of people who live paycheck to paycheck who have no further ambition than to blow their next check. They have no proverbial "pot to pi$$ in" and no desire to get one. They work deadend jobs and are happy to do so because the expectations of that person are low enough that they settle for the minimum pay they get from it as long as it covers their food and shelter. These are generally (yes I am generalizing here so forgive me) the people who are happy to have their mate as their only source of companionship because to make friends outside would require effort and time that they don't care to put out. They lack a desire to do ANYTHING beyond getting to the next paycheck.
Not everyone is after and out for money, it is just sometimes we have to think of what our life is going to be like if we commit one hundred percent to them. Unfortunately I was a very idealistic person in thinking all you needed was love. At first our lives together was okay. I was fine with picking up the slack and sometimes being left holding the bag to pay for everything and to get everything. It however doesn't work so well after you have kids. Because then it becomes a burden and that person becomes the ball and chain. I no longer look for someone for personality only....I know I know big b:tch I am, but I now look for someone who can take care of themselves. I am fine with taking care of my own ass as well as my children but my days of taking care of my man are now over. Please do not misunderstand me though, I mean if it was a situation where my man was working and we were trucking along and he lost his job...well by all means I will pick up the slack cause that is what it is all about. I just refuse to do it on a one hundred percent basis anymore. | |
|
| Would you have a relationship with a guy who's living paycheck by paycheck?
Posted: 11/2/2006 1:40:36 PM | You didn't say how old the guy is...but if he's your age, cut him a break. I for one, didn't go back to college until I was 23. (I floundered in the Military for a couple years post high school)
I will impart a little piece of advice my wonderful late father drilled into my head.
Do whatever you have to do YOURSELF, to take care of yourself..NOW and in the future.
Never depend on a man or his money.
When it comes to coupling...two incomes are way better than one. (you get to share the expenses and save more ;)
And lastly, millions, probably billions, live paycheck to paycheck. Saving is tough these days. I'd love to be saving for my boy's college education, but I'm too busy saving for our next 1 week vacation...a rainy day...a leaky roof...the list goes on.... | |
|
| Would you have a relationship with a guy who's living paycheck by paycheck?
Posted: 11/2/2006 1:53:41 PM | Let me say this to this.. Most of you all are reading the words and missing this persons point of view.
No I would not be in a relationship with a guy who is living paycheck to paycheck with nothing to show for it. His apartment being messy just shows that he is unorganized.
I dated a guy who lived paycheck to paycheck.. he made good money paycheck to paycheck and if he had financial management skills, less child support he would have been pretty well off.
So the issue is not paycheck to paycheck ... it is this guy doesn't manage well, has over extended maybe because of child support enforcement issues, or other demanding bills he must pay.. or garnished wages or something.. but.. you need to find out the real reason, and if he is in a bind.. and you love him.. you stick by him and help make a brighter day for the both of you... or
Realize he is not a good budgeter, or financial person... or you cannot help him out.. maybe he isn't helping you financially...
But.. It is not the fact that he is living paycheck to paycheck you should be concerned about, figure out WHY he is living paycheck to paycheck, and help him by hmmm..., adding your 50/50... or decide that you just want someone who can spoil and pamper you more...
Just my 2 cents.. don't bash him.. help him, if you cannot help him... don't hurt him.. | |
|
| Would you have a relationship with a guy who's living paycheck by paycheck?
Posted: 11/2/2006 1:59:17 PM | Let me clear this up.. NO I would not live with a guy living paycheck to paycheck, rather I would live with him and help him plan financially ... In my situation.. I learned the rules of child support enforcement.. they only count one job.. so he got a second job.. and I helped out financially. We decided to live to gether.. split everything fifty/fifty.. and help out with the raising of his child..
Then we budgeted our money.. he was no longer living paycheck to paycheck..rather.. we lived better on both of our paychecks and our spare odd jobs.. I took on music jobs on the side.. and he and I did janitorial work for different companies and schools. He had lotsa maintenance skills and made money on side jobs outside of his employment.
We worked on a plan.. and we are still the best of friends, I just don't help manage his finances anymore.. he does quite well on his own.
Two heads are better than one.. And in today's economy.. it takes more than one paycheck to take care of the household. | |
|
| Would you have a relationship with a guy who's living paycheck by paycheck?
Posted: 11/2/2006 2:04:03 PM | Essentially, we are all living paycheck to pay check. You get paid, you pay the mortgage, home insurance, land taxes, car insurance, gas, groceries, utilities, new clothes for the growing children, dental bills and other incidentals and if you’re lucky have a bit left over for entertainment.
Hell, any man or women that can keep their head above water without the assistance of a partner’s income is well deserving! | |
|
anth28
|
Joined: 9/28/2006
Msg: 47 | |
| |
| Would you have a relationship with a guy who's living paycheck by paycheck?
Posted: 11/2/2006 2:12:36 PM | | shallowbonita: Most of us middle class people live pay check to pay check. What do you do for a living that you make so much money that you don't have to live week to week? I'm sure most of us would like to know. I might change my occupation to yours if it means not having to depend on living week to week. | |
|
| Would you have a relationship with a guy who's living paycheck by paycheck?
Posted: 11/2/2006 2:12:37 PM | Thank you anth28!
February 2001, my VA pension got cut big time. I had to scramble to make ends meet, while at the same time as a disabled veteran, not able to work. My girlfriend at the time sat next to me when I was arguing with the VA (Veterans Affairs) on the phone and heard EVERYTHING that was going on. I was driving her 10 year old daughter to school, and going back to pick her up. I was using money I now didn't have. SHE, didn't stop to think wow he just hit a rough spot and might need help.
After we broke up, and she kept calling me, I tried telling her "In a good relationship" AND she'd cut me off with saying there's no such thing. I told her yeah there is you just haven't seen one yet. I then proceeded to tell her in a good relationship, when you hear your partner just hit a bad spot, you can't go out and play, play, play, and leave him to sweat big bullets worrying about keeping a roof over her head, food in her belly, keeping the water on so she can enjoy keeping clean, gas to keep her warm with.
That's a bit of what's wrong with now a days. I remember as a kid, my mom AND dad kept the roof over our head, food in our belly, and all the other stuff. It wasn't just his paycheck, or her paycheck, it was THEIR paychecks! | |
|
| Would you have a relationship with a guy who's living paycheck by paycheck?
Posted: 11/2/2006 2:17:32 PM | Does he have lawn furniture in his apartment?
I mean, I know this guy who moved TO the states, FROM Hong Kong and he has nothing but lawn furniture in his apartment. I've known this guy for about 25 years. And even after all that time, he STILL has only lawn furniture in his apartment.
I happen to know that he has a lot of money stashed away though - he just believes in living a very frugal life. So maybe its the same thing with your friend? | |
|
Home
login 
