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| double standard?
Posted: 11/6/2006 6:53:35 PM | i disagree. With the fellow above me.
Some guys are just after some A$$, nothing more. | |
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wilco1
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Joined: 8/20/2006
Msg: 27 | |
| double standard?
Posted: 11/6/2006 9:04:44 PM | Let me ask you a question..
Why do BOTH men and woman want to have sex? Specifically on the first date?
I hate to say it, but it is because men and woman want to be socially accepted. Think about it, if a man had sex with a woman, his buddies would give him a pat on the back and be treated like a god.
Now, for the woman, and someone please correct if im wrong with this statement...when a female tells her close friends that "I did it with so-and-so" usually a response is met with an "Ooooooooo" and then the art of 20 questions breaks out etc.
The thing is there is a reverse effect at play here..woman want men who are a challange, so oppositely, the same holds true for woman vs. man on sex. If you ever have slept with a guy on the first date and he did leave after..odds are it wasnt "good" or maybe you werent teasing him in the bedroom..try that maybe?
It all boils down to your morals and what you want, do you want to date around? Do you want a relationship? etc. It is up to you to weed out the guys that dont "fit the bill" as the old saying goes.
Hope this helps. | |
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| double standard?
Posted: 11/6/2006 9:39:11 PM | Because when men accomplish something (sex on the first date) they tend to crow and gloat but when men fail in some manner (no sex on first date) they tend to blame....?  | |
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| double standard?
Posted: 11/6/2006 11:43:45 PM | The best part of having sex on a first date is telling all your friends about it  | |
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| double standard?
Posted: 11/7/2006 12:54:46 AM | Of course there's a double standard. Don't most women want to be treated as an equal, and yet expect him to pay for dinner on their first date? Of course they do, because there’s a double standard. That's what life is all about -- it's not supposed to be fair.
For many men, if you're gonna let him spend a lot of money on you, he might expect a little pay-back…and guess what that might be. One way you might alleviate some of this pressure, is to make sure you go dutch on the first date. Thus, eliminating a possible motivating factor (to get his money’s worth).
AceFiles | |
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| double standard?
Posted: 11/7/2006 4:34:08 AM | Its a double standard and will always be one. It will always be more acceptable as a woman to hold back. It will always be expected that men will want sex more than yourself.
I dont try to change the obvious. Men are made differently than women. They have a lot more testosterone flowing in their bodies than women. This makes for certain behavior including sex. It is what it is.
Op. You spoke of having sex on the first date. Therefore you have obvioulsy done so in the past. Im alot like a man in the sexual regard of things. If im with a man, the sparks are flying, we connect, then sex can be a natural next step. I dont overthink it or worry about. If I feel like doing it, I will.
Its how I go about it that makes a difference with the way they might see me/you afterwards. Maturity and a level head. I dont ever go on a date with a man until I have gotten to know him through emails or phone or both. With those convos, we will have a good idea about who we are as people and what we are expecting from a potential mate.
Sex is a natural subject that eventually comes up. I approach it with the same frame of mind as any other subject. Honestly.
We as women need to face that some of us want sex as much as a man. That isnt a terrible thing. Nor is it a cardinal sin that a man wants sex. Its a natural feeling and process.
How well you get to know someone BEFORE the actual first date makes it much easier with the first date sex issue.
ALot of women refuse to have sex on the first date regardless of the circumstances. They deny themselves the simple pleasure of a mans touch and intimate company when they clearly want to. Alot of women feel that they will be the *slut* and never talked to again.
Actually, alot of men dont do that at all. If you build a repoire with a man before the actual first date, this man will have a clear idea of who and what you are. He will know quite a bit about you including your sexual desires. Will he expect it on the first date? Probably. But alot of women want it on the first date too. They just act like they dont. They arent fooling the man, he knows full well you want to. Men just let you play it out for awhile.
I go about sex alot like a man. If I like you , I feel a spark with you, You make me feel all giddy inside....then I might act on that. I dont feel any less about a man that ive had sex with on the first date. Nor do I expect them to feel any less about me.
Its how you as a woman, approach the topic. Its how you as a woman carry yourself. Sex on a first date doesnt equate sluttiness....sex on a first date, to me, equates a mutual attraction. Period. Dont complicate it. Men dont complicate the sex issue, women do.
I feel if more women were upfont with their potential dates and did less hiding behind the * shy I dont do that on the first date* when they are clearly wanting to pounce the guy, things would be a whole lot clearer. I never lie to a man about my sexuality and try to get him to believe that im something im not.
This doesnt mean I sleep with alot of people. Actually, quite the opposite. I dont date much. But when I do, I have zero problems with acting on my sexuality with a man Ive grown a repoire with. This goes without saying, that if ive taken the time to get to know a man and then date him, he is worthy of that date. I will find him captivating in many areas, and that would include us both having similiar interests in sex. | |
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| double standard?
Posted: 11/7/2006 5:07:23 AM | its because Bolotye is a scorpio - thats why  | |
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