| Verbal Abusers
Posted: 11/28/2006 11:01:23 AM | Hey, all:
Hey, 2a4r5i225: If I may, I would offer you a suggestion. You are entitled to say everything and anything you can and need to--you are entitled to all the feelings, thoughts, emotions, stories you have--there is no need to apologize for anything you have said. In fact, it might even help if made a point of saying to yourself, that they are yours and you don't have to be sorry to anyone. Expressing one's feelings is encouraged--that is one of the primary purposes for being here.
Okay?
David | |
|
| |
| Verbal Abusers
Posted: 11/30/2006 5:01:05 AM | | Having been on the receiving end of both, I believe that Verbal is far worse, physical wounds heal verbal ones sometimes never do, no mind you this was not done by a partner but by my father, the results are still the same regardless | |
|
| Verbal Abusers
Posted: 11/30/2006 10:03:54 PM | | Hi, I would in my opinion say having more done to me at one time would be worse, other than that I think the emotional abuse is worse, because it doesn't really go away just becomes numb at least in my case. | |
|
| Verbal Abusers
Posted: 12/1/2006 10:30:33 AM | I think that people will look at this differently. For some verbal abuse is not bad, these people have tougher skin and think that they are just words. Some people are more sensitive than others.
I think that words can hurt a lot, especially when they come from the person/persons who are supposed to love you and build you up , not tear you down.
Physical abuse is very scary, and it can turn one into an abuser and also a paranoid person, walking around thinking people will jump up and hit them, since that is all they know. | |
|
| Verbal Abusers
Posted: 12/1/2006 10:37:52 AM | | I have been verbally abused over the internet by a guy I havent even met. He even got insulting about my kids. I have taken lots of verbal crap in my life but when my kids are being insulted then thats it and wont put up with it. He has probably moved on to his next victim by now | |
|
| Verbal Abusers
Posted: 12/1/2006 10:54:22 AM | Cuddly! When someone is low enough to insult you and your kids, you must immediately block
them out of your life, completely!!!! That person is a lowlife , sicko, loser, lonely **stard!
If anyone even so much made a wrong comment about my kids I would tell them they are an ass, and to NEVER talk to me again!!!
When you hurt my kids, you are hurting me.
It was wrong for him to do that to you, be glad you did not meet that jerk!! | |
|
| Verbal Abusers
Posted: 3/25/2008 1:36:14 PM | There is a user on here, who has verbally abused me for no reason, I don't know if I can mention his name,but it's a long one and I just got a phone call from him and he was name-calling me and then hung-up, I told him if he called again, I was involving the police, stay away from C, he's a stinky fish .....he's the kind of man that makes you think singleness isn't so bad after all.  | |
|
| Verbal Abusers
Posted: 3/25/2008 1:44:05 PM | Even on here theres verbal abuse.
I'm a widow for two years now and I had a "man" email me and tell me I'm a killer because my husband is dead.
Nice eh! | |
|
| Verbal Abusers
Posted: 4/2/2008 1:37:42 AM | i had a message sent to me and this is what it said ,Sorry i dont do fat birds like you, your a 10 pinter.try a weight watchers diet, you fat dollop big bird
it was left by a guy called justclive
how rude was he. all i did was say hi to him | |
|
| Verbal Abusers
Posted: 6/4/2008 9:25:09 AM | ""I'm a widow for two years now and I had a "man" email me and tell me I'm a killer because my husband is dead.
Nice eh! ""
It is absolutely unbelievable how unfeeling and crass some people can be. I lost Sue 7 yrs ago now and I've had pretty much the same thing a number of times. Involve yourself in any kind of public discussion and expect that kind of response from some. It says a lot about how many nutbars there are on the Net. It says a LOT about how cruel some people can be and probably not even realize the pain they're causing. The few who are rotten to the core simply don't care what they say to anyone under any circumstances and abuse from them will be constant and forever no doubt contributing to the overall homicide rate too is my guess. Even those beaten down by life often jump up and say ENOUGH !!! Personally I think anybody who is really THAT nasty and abusive to somebody they supposedly love and are in a relationship with ... well the " burning bed " syndrome is probably too good for them.
A few years after Sue died I started as thread on Literotica and it details a Technique re: the Gspot. No big deal. Lots and lots of couples have never heard of it and many who have heard of it never learned the techniques used to trigger it over and over again so ... I posted them. It is on the HOW TO section of the forums and is called TRY THIS. Again, no big deal. I'm not bragging. I'm sharing a technique that anyone can try. The IM's and emails that I got (and still get sometimes) after the thread survived and became popular was crazy. The typical ones suggested I was lying, was bragging, didn't know what I was talking about, there IS NO Gspot - it's a MYTH. I posted the Technique here and mostly what I got was " if you think you're was such a stud what are you doing on a dating site?" When I mentioned that she had died, several suggested that I'd probably killed her that way. Your words - ""Nice, eh"" I have another word but the mod in here would ban me for life if I typed it. I think you get the gist.
I've been stunned a few times now by men AND women sending me that same kind of message. I can't imagine what they'd be like actually meeting or dating one after a loss or some tragedy in your life. We can only hope that if/when we find another love they will understand the circumstances of the loss. We can just hope and pray that we know potential mates well enough BEFORE we commit so that any of that behaviour is spotted early and we can bail. | |
|
| Verbal Abusers
Posted: 6/10/2008 7:09:10 AM | Considering the fact, I deal with it still on a constant basis to this day from an X. E-mails, telephone calls etc.
I am fat, obese etc, I am 5'5 85 lbs and on meds to gain weight aand get this UGLY. Oh and wrinkles!! LOL I don't have one, you ought to see the fat thing he's dating now, 100 lbs more than me.
The verbal abuse also went hand in hand with the physical abuse.
I ask this question... if in fact I am so fat, ugly etc, why do you still want to bang me? | |
|
| Verbal Abusers
Posted: 6/10/2008 8:57:10 AM |
Verbal abuse in many cases is worst than physical abuse. The cuts and bruises heal, the cruel words people speak can stay with you forever if you let them
The physical abuse doesn't effect you in only a physical manner. Physical abuse also causes emotional scars, and usually when they are beating the crap out of you, they aren't saying many nice things about you, so that constitutes as verbal abuse.
However I agree that verbal abuse sucks. As I often say, life is too short spend it with a psycho.
And getting out of it is a lot more complicated then one who never experienced it would think, but it is possible for most..... not everyone gets out alive with the physical abusers. I've known a few that didn't.
| |
|
| Verbal Abusers
Posted: 6/10/2008 9:20:02 AM | There are apparently lots of insecure people who log on pretending to be something they are not, women pretending to be men, men pretending to be women. Sickko's chasing shadows.
What you got to do, is ignore the idiots - block them and move on, their loss. | |
|
| Verbal Abusers
Posted: 6/10/2008 9:29:48 AM | Loz Hunter...Women pretending to be men, men pretending to be woman...WTF..."Am I missing something?...Maybe its good, Iam...
Sickkos chasing shadows..."Good one"...
Verbal Abuse..."No one should put up with verbal abuse"... | |
|
| Verbal Abusers
Posted: 6/10/2008 9:36:51 AM | | Verbal/emotional abuse is worse than physical abuse because the verbal abuse always stays with you, the physical wounds from physical abuse heal. | |
|
| Verbal Abusers
Posted: 6/10/2008 9:49:30 AM | I agree sandra, words hurt more than fists, and the theory just joking around.. is not joking anymore when it's a constant thing.
When an overweight man can actaully call a woman who is 40 lbs underweight, call her OBESE, and for me to lose weight, it truely shows who is the insecure person!!! | |
|
| Verbal Abusers
Posted: 6/10/2008 9:51:19 AM | While growing up, children learn this behavior from observing and recording the interactions of mom and dad. Unfortunately male children practice abuse in their relationships with women, since they are conditioned in childhood to feel this is the appropriate way to deal with females. Women on the other hand hookup with and stay with abusers due to their experiences as children.
Abusive behavior is extremely common across all cultures, nationalities, and races. Women are often regarded as property and are subjugated to the control, dominance, and influences of men.
In the last century in the United States, women have gained a considerable measure of economic independence and as a consequence social mobility and freedom. In the past, women would stay in abusive relationships and marriage until death, but today they quickly extricate themselves from these situations.
Fortunately, men are learning new behaviors in dealing with women on a basis of equality but still have a long way to go to shake off the psychological shakels of the past.
Yes any form of abuse is extremely destructive to the human personality. Most of the time verbal abuse is accompanied by physical, since it isn't much of a leap for most men to become physically violent. Also drugs and alcohol are often involved.
Women have a very difficult time leaving these relationships for several reasons. The first and foremost is childhood conditioning, the second is they believe they can change men, and the third which is very tragic is they believe the problem is their fault!
Even if they do escape from one abuser, they are likely to hook up with another. In therapy, abused women often take several years to develop the emotional tools to understand why they get into these affairs. One must understand that abusers work in very defined way to trap their quarry and once they have her under their spell, it's nearly impossible for her to escape.
Abusive men are very manipulative and controlling, so they set out with a very good plan to get a women. During the initial stages of the relationship, they are kind, sweet, loving, and perfect gentlemen. Once the woman is emotionally hooked, their behavior begins to change ever so slowly. In the end, they'll have total control over her life dictating what she does, where she goes, who her friends are, and every other facet of her life. A major tool to enforce this control is physical and verbal abuse.
Finally, women who are the best candidates for abuse usually have low self esteem and are non-assertive again these traits are the result of childhood conditioning.
The Eagle | |
|
| Verbal Abusers
Posted: 6/10/2008 9:58:48 AM |
Yes any form of abuse is extremely destructive to the human personality. Most of the time verbal abuse is accompanied by physical, since it isn't much of a leap for most men to become physically violent. Also drugs and alcohol are often involved.
Eagle,
you hit the nail on the head with that one, so very very true in my case!! | |
|
| Verbal Abusers
Posted: 6/10/2008 10:23:24 AM | | Tiny Skydiver, once I realized that they were the ones with the problem and not me, I was able to put the abuse in the perspective that it needed to be in, at least for the most part. It really hurts a person's soul to be abused like that and it takes a long time to build yourself back up again. The person doing the abusing usually has low self-esteem and are very insecure about themselves. I only feel pity for my abusers now, not hatred. | |
|
| Verbal Abusers
Posted: 6/10/2008 10:29:00 AM | sandra,
I totally agree with you, and I do NOW belive it was him that was insecure and not me. he was mainupulative, controlling etc.
No, I do not hate him now it has taken me a while not to do that even though he stalks me online, etc etc, I truely with all my heart pity him!!!!!!!!!!! | |
|
| Verbal Abusers
Posted: 6/10/2008 1:18:36 PM | | Someone who abuses another either physically, verbally or both is damaged. They are sick themselves. Too often the person who has been abused somehow shoulders the blame feeling in some way they caused it. THIS is not the case. These are difficult relationships to break free from but always worth the effort. Not everyone behaves like this tho thanks goodness. | |
|
| Verbal Abusers
Posted: 6/17/2008 8:17:30 PM | I have been through both and I am not sure which one is really worse. The aftermath can be similar, but they have their differences. After being physically abused I tended to look at every man (not of significance, even just men in stores) and immediately my first thought was if they could essentially overpower me. Needless to say I was not interested in jumping into another relationship right after my marriage ended and even to this day I look for signs that they may be potentials for any type of abuse. Even though I have overcome the feelings and aftermath caused by such things, there are still things that I can NEVER forget.
Some people will argue that verbal abuse is worse because it has effects on your confidence and self esteem and this is very true. I was told for so long that I was worthless and couldn't do anything, that by the time it was over I couldn't even order a pizza. I felt like the person on the other end of the phone thought I was stupid. It was terrible. And to think how intelligent he believed me to be in the beginning and how much he told me I could accomplish. I know I am a very intelligent woman and that I have alot of potential. Granted, I made some mistakes and allowed myself to be treated in a horrific manner. The thing is, men can do this over time without you even realizing how much damage it is doing. I never even really knew what was going on...until it was too late. Perhaps I was just more concerned with the physical abuse.
Others will say that physical abuse is worse. How can you recover from your partner hitting, choking, smacking, kicking...and maybe even worse things? It is no easy task. There are women whom are stabbed and put through walls and nearly killed by men everyday. Yes, verbal is hard to deal with and hard to recover from...but what about your partner literally trying to kill you? Can you honestly say that it is easier to recall how it feels to have every muscle in your neck shaking as you fight for your life; someone trying to snap your neck, than having trouble making a phone call?
I say that there are so many levels and so many ways to be abused and you cannot say that one is easier than the other. Everyone who experiences any type of abuse will be left having to cope. Some will do better than others and they will all have different experiences with it. I do not think it is right to determine that one is worse than another. It is really how a person can come away from it that really matters. From the ones that move on quickly and don't really ever think about it to the ones whom carry the burden and lasting affects their whole lives.
Physical, Emotional, Mental, verbal, Sexual.... I have experienced many...well in actuality ALL of them and I can only say which one left me feeling what and how I coped and all of that. But as for one being worse overall; I don't think that can be determined. They are all horrible and very traumatic..... | |
|
| Verbal Abusers
Posted: 6/17/2008 8:34:10 PM | | don't talk to any one who does not have a pic posted check outhis favs list if he is not on any got to be a reason i was married to one of those as well i feel for you chin up maybe he'll meet some body and leave you alone mine did finally good luck | |
|
| Verbal Abusers
Posted: 6/17/2008 9:30:49 PM | LADYMARIA;
Even if U are not certain U want to charge him, it is definitely wise to go to the police station as soon as possible while the scratchs & bruises show. Tell them you want to put it on file. Do a write-up of what happened & have them take pictures of your scatches etc noting that it is 2 days old.
These things get worse. Next time anything should occur, they will take it much more seriously. When we give things to God, he still expects some input from us.
Taking yr sisters phone & yr car were both thefts. When it is abuse that is involved, I think it is the police that lay charges.
As soon as possible, phone around & find a place where U can get therapy. City run Health organizations have phone lists etc. If U really want to take care of yrself, start tomorrow morning. You are worth it shud B yr mantra. | |
|
Home
login 
