Di5
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Joined: 3/14/2005
Msg: 26 | |
| What makes for a great relationship
Posted: 11/8/2006 5:46:38 PM | I agree with truckmaker trust, honesty and respect, very important. Also with Leeanne. I believe good sex/intimacy in a long term relationship is very important for a couples happiness and to keep a close bond with each other. But good sex in a long term relationship depends on the quality of the relationship outside the bedroom and that both partners emotional needs are being met.
Like Dr Phil says..." fellas you have to create the mood all day long for what is going to happen in the bedroom!!!! Girls too!! | |
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Di5
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Joined: 3/14/2005
Msg: 27 | |
| What makes for a great relationship
Posted: 11/8/2006 5:53:01 PM | | I agree thunderstorm, that finding someone with a similar personality to your own may work better for a long term relationship. I found that with my ex, he was my opposite which lead to bickering and emotional detachment. I believe opposites attract but will it last?? Didn't for me...now I look for different things than I did then. Live and learn. | |
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| What makes for a great relationship
Posted: 11/8/2006 10:00:17 PM | Hey Di5,
great comments. I married my opposite too and it failed. I looked long and hard at what went wrong. I found two major things, we were opposites and could never really understand each others needs and were too immature to figure it out. By the time we did it was too late. We also failed in the bedroom, she liked routine and I liked variety so we failed there too. Noe I look for people with similar personality types. It seems the communication and sex parts impact all aspects of the realtionship. I liked your profile Di5....
Thanks for your posts.
Jo..I liked your posts too. | |
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| What makes for a great relationship
Posted: 11/9/2006 6:06:30 AM | The Fundamentals
E = Enjoyment
V = Values
A = Accessibility
L = Love
U = Understanding
A = Attitudes
T = Temperament
E = Environment
Successful Relationships
Complain constructively
Share your concerns
Be a little selfish (us time)
Break the cycle (criticism)
Fulfil your dreams
Support each other
Communicate with clarity
Calm your anger
Take time together | |
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| What makes for a great relationship
Posted: 11/11/2006 4:47:06 PM | Well you can have respect, honesty, loyality and even love with a dog, your mom, frineds and family.
It is the sex, intimacy and romance that makes work couple with all the rest. If the sex isn;t there you just have another friend.
Have a great weekend everyone. | |
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| What makes for a great relationship
Posted: 11/11/2006 7:00:55 PM | I agree with what everyone here has said, and man that is soooooo hard to find. I am finding that communcation and honesty are the hardest things to come by!!!!!!!!!!!!! Especially when long distance is involved!!
Without honesty, can there be trust? That is a very hard one. I am a person that is way too trusting, and it gets me so darn hurt!!!!! I am so loyal and honest, almost to a fault. But I never seem to be able to get the same in return. 
It definitely makes me put up my walls, which is never good in a relationship. Oh well, one day those walls will come down again
-Syllie | |
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| What makes for a great relationship
Posted: 11/11/2006 11:50:20 PM | Common interests, values, goals & lifestyles.
Mutual Respect
Mutual Trust
And did I mention ..........Great Sex! | |
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| What makes for a great relationship
Posted: 11/12/2006 8:13:55 AM | Hi Syllie,
it is not you that is the problem, it is the others that need to be fixed. Most of us need to been fixed. We have been brought up in a very negative world which makes it hard for us to trust others. When someone treats us with respect and kindness, most of us thinks why are they doing this, what is in it for them? are they trying to scam me? Are the depserate?
so so sad!
To make things worse most do not even know how to communicate effectively. I was one of those, but I have learned and I stgill continure to learn and get better.
I am like you I am trusting and open from the start until that persons gives me a reason not too. Innocent until proven guilty...LOL I think that it youwant good open communication you you have to enable your partner to be the same. For those of us that have the skills, we must take the lead here. If we truly know how to communicate and can be open and trusting, we too know the risks and can also sense when someone is not being honest. Not being open is a different story, some of us are very self-confident and can be that way from the start. However no everone can be that way in the begining. We will have to give them time and enble them to open up. Knowledge is power and knowing the risks also allows us to accept the hurt if things don't workout. It is better to have loved and failed than to have never loved at all, even if it is just for a moment in time.
Most of us want great open non-judgmental communication. But most of you who want it can't be that way yourselfs....Chickens!!! and Damn if your 40 and haven't learned this shame on you!!! You haven't learned yet. May be I shouldn't be so harsh for most no one has really taught us how to communicate or even help us understand who we are and why people respond to us the way that they do, or why we respond to the world the way we do.
For those that are brave enough to want to know and become better I challenge you to read the book "positive personality profiles" By Robert Rohm. You'll have to order this on the net as it is not in book stores. Hint every police force in Canada uses this book to learn how to get you to talk to them...LOL That is how powerful this book is if you truly read it.
Sorry I had to vent, but there is the challenge!!!
Randall
ps.. I don't make anything from this book, I am just share and oustanding book that changed my life and has helped make me a much better, happier person, and I thought I was doing pretty good before I read it. But then when I read it I discovered I have so much more to learn. | |
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| What makes for a great relationship
Posted: 11/16/2006 12:45:52 AM | In my humble opinion....
....very simple....
...where both parties "give" 100% of themselves towards their relationship.....each and every day !!! | |
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GUMMLE
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Joined: 10/15/2005
Msg: 36 | |
| What makes for a great relationship
Posted: 11/16/2006 5:02:12 AM | For a successful relationship...
I would have to say...
It would require a mix of qualities...
In both peeps...
Including, but not limited to...
Honesty...
Communication...
Playfulness...
Humour...
Understanding
Patience...
Compassion...
And...
Passion...
That's my list...
Plus an emotional bond...
Of course... | |
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| What makes for a great relationship
Posted: 11/16/2006 6:10:30 AM | ^^^^^Sidhartha is wise.
Oh...and ladies...despite your glaring double standards....men like game time...playstation is not stupid and something to roll your eyes at. Most of you just don't have the gene. We know better than to say "That shite is just a waste of time" to your interests...don't belittle ours!!!!!!!! | |
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| What makes for a great relationship
Posted: 11/16/2006 6:51:53 AM | Love
Trust
Respect
Tolerance
Honesty
Communication
Common Goals
Mutual Commitment
Solid Foundation built on Friendship
Intimacy/Romance
Attraction
Forgiveness
Strong support from family and friends
Shared Responsibilities
Ability to work as a team even during the rough patches
Finding time in a busy day to say 'I love you'
Great sex life
Consideration
Time/attention
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| What makes for a great relationship
Posted: 11/16/2006 8:46:39 AM | | ^^^ that list makes me dizzy. I thought giving her the key to your door and keeping the toilet seat down was enough. | |
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| What makes for a great relationship
Posted: 11/16/2006 9:36:34 AM | | Friendship, trust, honesty and loyalty are good starts....and knowing how to fold fitted sheets would be a bonus since i am totally incapable of such a task | |
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| What makes for a great relationship
Posted: 11/16/2006 9:42:23 AM | The question was, what makes a great relationship.
It's not just one single thing. Personality conflicts, character conflicts, past experiences, gender differences, habits, work, finances, children, family, friends and growth are other factors that will affect a relationship. I'm not so naive to believe that love alone will take me through to my golden years. If that were the case we'd all still be in great relationships.
I put together my list from past experiences, and positive role modelling of people who are married still in their retirement years, and negative role modelling of people who aren't.
A key is a form of commitment.
Putting the toilet seat down is consideration.
I forgot to include laughter and humour, if you truly can't laugh at your life, you are never going to survive. Acceptance is important too.
Feel free to edit out whatever you think is NOT important to a great relationship. I leave my list as it stands. It takes a lot to make a relationship truly GREAT...and the work has to come from both partners. If it were easy...'break-up', 'divorce', 'separation', 'annulment' and 'infidelity' would be words we didn't need.
Not settling,
Dev | |
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| What makes for a great relationship
Posted: 11/16/2006 11:23:39 AM | a very good thread...
lots of great information, insights and thoughts
I agree with alot of what has been said.
honesty, communication, openness for sure are key....along with a number of others that people have commented on...
you do need to know who you are and what you want...i've come to the realization in the past 2yrs of who i am and what i want...i dont ever want to wonder what if....if at all possible...
life is full of so many experiences, its also about attitude....how you take things, learn from/about things, deal with things...in all aspects can say alot about a person...
thanks for sharing your views everyone
hugs,
silkie | |
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| What makes for a great relationship
Posted: 11/16/2006 11:32:09 AM | Just to expand on my thought on lists of what you want in a relationship or what makes a good relationship........
Each and everyone of us has a list of wants - likes and dislikes, but if we stopped to think of the things on that list and applied them to each and every person we met - then based our contact with them on that list, we may never ever find that special someone - because no one on the planet will fit our ideals. We may come close or - extremely close, but to have an exact fit - forget it!!!! It's good to know what you want, but you certainly need to learn to bend in order to find happiness. | |
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| What makes for a great relationship
Posted: 11/22/2006 7:06:24 PM | | Uhmmm....all of the above posts mentioned. *Shrugs* We're all trying to get dates or long term relationships.....so how would any of us know what a "great Relationship" would be until we did snag one for ourselves? | |
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| What makes for a great relationship
Posted: 11/22/2006 7:18:29 PM | I'm pretty sure what makes a great relationship is the mutual desire to do so. 
And Jet...I had a great one at one time....it just lost it's stamina.  | |
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| What makes for a great relationship
Posted: 11/22/2006 7:19:56 PM | Really...who the heck knows!!!!!!!!!!!! Frig haven't we all tried to do our best to make our relationships work???? I know for sure though it takes 2 people who put the same amount of effort in building one......if ya can't even get that far...well then... | |
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| What makes for a great relationship
Posted: 11/22/2006 7:26:09 PM | honesty, trust, 100% open communication, some things in common, and some separate interests, unselfishness
i'm sure there are more but those are the top things for me. | |
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