| Is it Cheating when you are seperated and could you forgive?
Posted: 11/10/2006 1:03:37 PM | | OP, if you're talking married but officially separated, then IMO you're both free to do what you want to...and if by chance you get back together then neither should hold any dating during the separation against the other as cheating. Same thing goes if it's separation in a long-term relationship. The only time I wouldn't like it, if it was me, is if we were apart and trying to work things out...but then, if we were trying to work things out I wouldn't agree that we should be apart while we try to work things out. | |
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| Is it Cheating when you are seperated and could you forgive?
Posted: 11/10/2006 1:06:08 PM | i have been seperated for over 1 year and i dont think it is called cheating when you are already seperated, you are free to do with what u want to do. that right has been given to u when your other left the realitionship i feel...... knowone should feel they are cheating..... and i would not forgive because the cheating went on for a reason....a problem with communicating sexs or such...... | |
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| Is it Cheating when you are seperated and could you forgive?
Posted: 11/10/2006 2:08:30 PM | I have to agree with the NY Lady.
In addition I do not see any reference to spirtual belief or vows or death do us part in any of the discsussions thus farw . In the finally analysis separation divorce and relationship breakdown is an emotional whirlpool. In my case my ex wife did start a relationship with someone in our church while she was the number two lay person.. she then proceeded to have him put on Parish council.. and have the minister ask me to change churches..
if you are a christian, and if you were married in a church and you respect your own personal code of honour, then it seems to me when you made your vows, you need to make your words into actions. I suggest you take the high road and wait until the divorce is finalized. One party may always feel there is a chance of reconciliation during a separation. So lets not hurt people anymore than is absolutely essential. There will always be single people, and is sex afterall that important in comparison to your honour? It is your name and honour in question not whether others think it is ok.. and guess what ... others in the church were the ones who tipped me off...
In the end everyone will do what they damn well want anyway... people with class, honour, and self respect, will always honour their marital vow until the papers are signed and closure is brought about.. a piece of tail ain't worth your name. | |
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| Is it Cheating when you are seperated and could you forgive?
Posted: 11/12/2006 6:30:49 AM | You have a way with words with your last remark WILLY1805.
Why does the "church" have to be brought into any subject. Not everyone believes in religion. You would have NO clout with any of them.
Even the Catholic church I go to...during the sermon last Sunday...the Priest said that finally, the Catholic religion is seeing that it's better to divorce than to remain with someone that you prefer not to be with. It's harder on the children if there are any, for parents to remain together just because the church told them to. I totally agree. I think the same goes for being "separated". Once the two people involved no longer reside together and they have not agreed to a time limit...then they should be free to do whatever they feel is best for them with whomever.
My opinion on this subject is what I wrote previously. It has to be a agreed upon by both parties that the relationship has ended and both are free to see other people. Now if both parties decided that they needed a certain amount of time and space away from each other to reflect their relationship, then I think that it's wrong to be with others during that time.
In my case, it was just a matter of who was the first one to make our separation final. It happened to be me which was this past February. I feel that although my ex and I have been separated for seven years, I consider myself a person with class, honour and self respect even though papers weren't signed and a closure was brought about for those seven year. | |
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| Is it Cheating when you are seperated and could you forgive?
Posted: 11/12/2006 1:28:56 PM | I was saying the same thing to myself. Ten mths is a long time to be trying to work it out. I rather you tell me it's over then to put my love life on hold that long. It might be time to move on.
My separation has only lasted a couple weeks and I have already been ****ing and complaining and feeling lonely! lol I can't imagine how you feel. | |
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| Is it Cheating when you are seperated and could you forgive?
Posted: 11/12/2006 1:53:00 PM | | i think that in a long term relationship during a separation for 1-4 weeks, is cheating if the person still wants to be with each other. but more then a month its not cheating if they dont plan to get back togather at all | |
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| Is it Cheating when you are seperated and could you forgive?
Posted: 11/12/2006 2:01:38 PM | | i think that in a long term relationship during a separation for 1-4 weeks, is cheating if the person still wants to be with each other. but more then a month its not cheating if they dont plan to get back togather at all | |
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| Is it Cheating when you are seperated and could you forgive?
Posted: 11/12/2006 2:08:18 PM | seperated.........
to part,
divide,
sever,
become parted from,
disconnected,
there is more in the Canadian English Dictionary but I was to lazy to type it all out and this gives the general idea of the point I am trying to get across...
The sooner you move on with your life and put the past behind you..the happier you will be!!
oh yeah....ITS NOT CHEATING!! | |
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| Is it Cheating when you are seperated and could you forgive?
Posted: 11/12/2006 2:33:56 PM | K....... all u young, and un-old ppl.... :-)... From my prospective (after 38 year marriage) sex with non-spouse, while married, "IS" cheating. The hardest part of my breakup was on the final day of divorce - she admitted to cheating. Devestated.... Guess I'm done with none with "nice" women. Maybe, trips to Vegas and fishing trips to Canada are more down every every guys line...  | |
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| Is it Cheating when you are seperated and could you forgive?
Posted: 11/13/2006 6:41:02 PM | | If you are legally married and going through a separation (even a legal one leading up to a divorce) it is considered adultery if you cheat on your partner. You might not "feel" like you are cheating, but in the eyes of the law, you are. I have a friend who was legally separated for over a year before he met a new g/f. When the divorce papers were filed, his wife listed "adultury" on his part as her reason for the divorce -- even though they had been separated more than a year and planned to divorce anyway. | |
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| Is it Cheating when you are seperated and could you forgive?
Posted: 11/13/2006 7:12:53 PM | I agree with U * The only one she should be asking this too is HERSELF ~ and being seperated for 10mts a year, Seperation is SEPERATION ~~~ The Relationship is over and U move on ,
I have dated a man who was SEPERATED and I did not consider him married or any other I considered him Single the same way he considered himself ~~~ Molonel I like what u write*** | |
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| Is it Cheating when you are seperated and could you forgive?
Posted: 11/13/2006 10:07:47 PM | Hell from the desert ,what a great question,
As I am in this same boat this caught my eye,It seems there are many answers,
1. I am married by law,though I am seperated from my wife of 18 yrs cheating would be a violation of the Vows I took.
2.If and when I have sex w/ someone else while married I will be breaking the Vow I swore to uphold.
even though a divorce is far off,to keep insurance .and finances from getting screwed up we have agreed that our marriage is over.I have a green light,as does she....What every guy want's right??? NOT><... in my heart,I will still be cheating,So,if you feel it is wrong it is,if it can be used against you in court it is, can you live w/ your decision guilt free?????you pick.....I'm still trying to figure it out....good luck | |
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| Is it Cheating when you are seperated and could you forgive?
Posted: 11/13/2006 10:22:55 PM | Helloooo from the desert ,what a great question,
As I am in this same boat this caught my eye,It seems there are many answers,
1. I am married by law,though I am seperated from my wife of 18 yrs cheating would be a violation of the Vows I took.
2.If and when I have sex w/ someone else while married I will be breaking the Vow I swore to uphold.
even though a divorce is far off,to keep insurance .and finances from getting screwed up we have agreed that our marriage is over.I have a green light,as does she....What every guy want's right??? NOT><... in my heart,I will still be cheating,So,if you feel it is wrong it is,if it can be used against you in court it is, can you live w/ your decision guilt free?????you pick.....I'm still trying to figure it out....good luck | |
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| Is it Cheating when you are seperated and could you forgive?
Posted: 11/14/2006 7:35:11 AM | In my opinion, you should be talking this over with, with the guy
whom you seperated from, see what he thinks about it. Afterall,
if you did date someone else it would be this guy whom you
would be "cheating" on, if you both feel it is cheating.
If you have no intention of getting back with this man, then it is not
cheating, unless you are still married. | |
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| Is it Cheating when you are seperated and could you forgive?
Posted: 11/14/2006 9:17:23 AM |
Even the Catholic church I go to...during the sermon last Sunday...the Priest said that finally, the Catholic religion is seeing that it's better to divorce than to remain with someone that you prefer not to be with. That's kind of unusual considering the Bible's stance is quite different:
Consequently they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.
"Ad I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. " | |
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