| Why do you think it becomes so much harder to find a relationship when one gets older?
Posted: 1/25/2008 9:53:17 PM | Yes, change becomes difficult, and what do we have to change? Someone has to move into another's house. That's a huge change. It's an adjustment. Then, there's the financial arrangement... and the inheritance..... and the assets. Of course, the couple keeps seperate fianancial affairs.... but someone has to have the deed to the house. If Dad marries a new woman, then the woman gets the house, when Dad passes away, leaving the children completely OUT OF THE INHERITANCE. There are so many other issues that go along with having a relationship. If the couple decides to live seperately, without sharing a space, and keeping both homes.... what's the use in a dating situation that is monogomous? Eventually, some one has to give in, and move in with the other. Then what? Live together... consolidate assets through marriage? or just live together and charge rent? here's me, all alone at night with my DOG! | |
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| Why do you think it becomes so much harder to find a relationship when one gets older?
Posted: 1/29/2008 11:53:49 AM | | I agree with you CMF. I have found that it is much more difficult to find a good relationship as I get older. I usually date men younger then me since they can keep up with my maturity. I am still a kid at heart, but ....I like the mature end of relationships too. As I get older I am much more particular about whom I date. I am tired of all the head games and sex games and whatever else the men play with us now a days. I am not saying women dont' play games, cause some of them do! I am not one of them. I am set in my ways and I too am looking for someone who will compliment my life and not be "all about him". | |
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| Why do you think it becomes so much harder to find a relationship when one gets older?
Posted: 1/29/2008 12:29:24 PM | It isn't. Introducing yourself on a dating site is difficult because the words you use don't necessarily have the same meaning for the recipient of your message as they do for you. As a result, what you say may create a negative perception, thus you don't receive a response, or if you do receive a response, it is not an affirmative one.
The number of words in your initial approach on a dating site do not necessarily protect you from erroneous perception. The best message is one that shows that you have common interests. The only way this is possible is for you to read the profile.
Your age has to be appropriate for the person you approach, as does the picture you placed for review.
In my experience, personal meetings are best. You will be evaluated upon first impression, and your appearance is the most important ingredient. Next comes the way in which you express yourself, and finally, if you are a man, you have to take charge and provide a polite way for a female to accept your dating advance.
I realize there is disagreement and everyone has their own ideas about dating. I'm just detailing what works for me. Hope it helps. | |
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| Why do you think it becomes so much harder to find a relationship when one gets older?
Posted: 1/29/2008 5:00:33 PM | Everyone has 2 cents to slip into this pot so, HERES MINE !!! wooohoooo
think of it as a numbers game... first off, as we get older the number of eligible woman/men goes down, toss in the fact that dysfunction runs rampant around the world and it can only figure that theres a very good probability that the existing numbers are tainted...
If you put 100 single people in a room that are 35 and up you would have the perfect description of a whine cellar, at that point everyone has had their fair share of heartache and disappointments and the scars are clearly defined.. now your looking for a relationship.. Surely its there and available, but with all the fear and reluctance are you really going to find your soulmate...? take out the baggage and it could have been, but now if you think its going to be easy, well thats just wishful thinking.
I'm not trying to say that theres no hope for relationship after 35, I'm saying that with age comes experience, many times the experiences we remember most clearly are negative and that makes it very hard for someone to open up, give their hearts and risk the failure.. It's ironic that you hear the statement "I like myself enough to not settle, or I would rather be alone then with the wrong person." coming mostly from older adults. Having said allll that, Im not giving up hope and I will fight till the end to have her...    | |
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| Why do you think it becomes so much harder to find a relationship when one gets older?
Posted: 1/29/2008 5:35:39 PM | Seriously....cause I think I'm in a serious mood tonight so you are going to get a very serious answer....
Look around you at the state of affairs in this world...everything is connected...and with this state of affairs the trust levels of many people are low, so it's no wonder many people are also having problems in this area as well.
On a more positive note: things CAN turn around... :) | |
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| Why do you think it becomes so much harder to find a relationship when one gets older?
Posted: 1/29/2008 5:57:14 PM | No, I do not think that it is harder to find a relation as we get older. Well, it is not for me.
I am more confident in myself then I was as a younger man. I do not have issue with my physical appeareance these days and I know that I can please and entertain a lady, something that I could not because I was very shy before.
Doc Sage  | |
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| Why do you think it becomes so much harder to find a relationship when one gets older?
Posted: 1/30/2008 1:46:22 AM | | Not a reply to the essence of the thread, just a factor imo -- when you're young you believe you're somewhat bulletproof, just dive right in. As time rolls by and you've taken a few direct hits, the no-fears deal tends to take a back seat. Checking water depth first these days. Personally, on a dare could wake up the 'stupid' echoes, rather not though. | |
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| Why do you think it becomes so much harder to find a relationship when one gets older?
Posted: 1/30/2008 1:10:15 PM | I'm 67 years old I'm tall thin, good looking, half Latin, half Italian,. I remember everything anyone woman has ever commented me on. Sort of like a photographic memeory same when I was an investigator for an insurance company. Yes as you said people get set in their ways. when they get older, There is only one problem with that reasoning , I don't concider my self old. Guys get in the down syndrome mode, I'm old I can't dance, I've fallen and I can't get up. Well if I thought like that then I should be bed ridden. I go for daily walks in the park, I sometimes run but not needed, I drive every where I go because in this town you darn well better have a good running car or your not getting to the grocery store. My favorite drink is Snapple Peach Iced tea, and Orange Aide, because water I think is the most over populated rip-off of this century.
Some water I have gulped down taste just like the faucet water I don't drink at all.
I'd rather have a PEPSI, or a large glass of tomato juice over water and orange juice any day. Coffee is like a 2 times week if I'm lucky. And I have plenty of opportunities of making it with lots of women, I have one excuse. I'm very particular who I sleep with at night. the end AARON JESSIE | |
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| Why do you think it becomes so much harder to find a relationship when one gets older?
Posted: 2/7/2008 8:37:21 PM | I really don't find it harder (little blue pill aside  ). In fact, I'm tripping over guys who want relationships.
Problem is, I don't want the kind of relationship they want. I don't want to ever live with anyone again. Don't want to wash his clothes, pick up after him or pick up his drycleaning. Don't want to remember the birthday of everyone in his family, be responsible for picking an appropriate card & send flowers they're not allergic to. Don't want to be the stepmom & deal with all the "no win" that goes along with that.
Cook, I'll do that. I like doing that. And I like having sex, and doing other mutually enjoyable things with my SO.
I think I won't call it a relationship, though. I think I'll call it something else & I'll let you know when I figure out what that's going to be. | |
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| Why do you think it becomes so much harder to find a relationship when one gets older?
Posted: 2/7/2008 10:53:25 PM | | This is a complex issue. I have been divorced for 4 years after a 34 year marriaage. Since I didn't date during that time here is my take on it. When you are young you are not aware of certain "flags" in a relationship and just simply fall in love and think, OK we'll get married. As you get older you have certain things you look for in a partner. Then there is just not as many in the pool to pick from. Then the ovious issue is where do you meet the people that are out there...the internet??? Where is the common ground? Speaking to people and meeting face to face can be a rude awakening...And then...lots of people just do NOT want to get into a relationship after having so many failed ones in their lives. But since the old saying goes "Love Makes The World Go Round" ...sometimes even in the "golden years" people do find each other, make adjustments in their lives and form relationships of sorts. I could write a book. | |
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