| Just a phone call, can't be that bad can it?
Posted: 1/27/2007 3:42:52 AM | I have noticed that after talking through email messages or emails that upon suggesting we talk on the phone I get immediately disregarded. Honestly, no more messages or contact of any kind. This has happened a few times and only after it seemed like the next logical step in getting to know the person better. Not sure what to make of that experience, I'm getting frustrated with getting started and then getting ignored all of a sudden.
thanks for the feedback,
-Extro
I've had the complete opposite experience. Several women I've chatted with want to go directly to the phone. I had one take off because I wouldn't give her my number. We only exchanged two e-mails and she said she was tired of e-mailing men back and forth and could tell a lot more over the phone. She came off kind of pushy and when I told her I would prefer chatting online a little more first she never contacted me again. I had one girl IM me and within a few exchanges she gave me her number. I called her and she immediately tried to get me to come meet her at a bar that night. When I told her I couldn't meet her that night I never heard from her again. The reason I'm running into this is probably because some of these women have been doing online dating for quite some time and want to just cut to the chase. They seem adventurous and carefree about it. I'm new to this so I like to chat online awhile before giving my number out and running out to meet someone.
I've encountered a couple of them who've suggested meeting within a day or two of our first contact. I guess the longer people have been doing this the more impatient they get. I haven't run into this problem with the women that are new to online dating, it's just been with the veteran crowd. | |
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| Just a phone call, can't be that bad can it?
Posted: 4/29/2007 10:47:36 PM | One can't tell time wasters just by not giving out phone numbers. I agree with the ladies I want give out my phone number till I'm absolutely comfortable with a person from chats. My next step from chats here is msn. Then see about swapping phone numbers for meeting for coffee.
That seems to work for me..I find some guys move too fast. | |
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| Just a phone call, can't be that bad can it?
Posted: 4/30/2007 6:12:36 AM |
I'm getting frustrated with getting started and then getting ignored all of a sudden.
Probably because the women you are emailing with are not serious about finding someone to date. They enjoy the emailing and attention.
If a woman I am emailing with, does not want to talk on the phone after, say, a week of emails, say one per day... then I just delete her. I am not here to waste time or feed into someone's fantasy. | |
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| Just a phone call, can't be that bad can it?
Posted: 4/30/2007 7:15:12 AM | Talking on the phone is an important component along the way to the eventual 'meet'.
First emails.....then pics....then ims or web......then phone calls. As I have said to many potential dates...if you sound like a cross between Mike Tyson and Michael Jackson with a bad stutter/lisp thrown in for good measure....chances are we arn't gonna get to third base.
Yeah yeah........call me shallow.........lol | |
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| Just a phone call, can't be that bad can it?
Posted: 4/30/2007 7:29:09 AM |
Yeah yeah........call me shallow.........lol
I will not call you shallow. What is shallow about wanting a guy that can string together a few words into a coherent sentence? | |
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| Just a phone call, can't be that bad can it?
Posted: 4/30/2007 7:41:09 AM | Agree that talking on the phone is important before actually meeting. I can tell alot from a phone conversation. If the person has no personality what so ever or there's no chemistry why waste their time or mine in meeting. They can be a great e-mailer but you need to actually talk mono e mono to know if there's something there.
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| Just a phone call, can't be that bad can it?
Posted: 4/30/2007 11:46:50 AM | Usually if I guy emails me and I'm intersted in him I will send him my IM info and chat...then we chat a couple of times and if we get along and have good conversations (more than yes and no answers  ) then I would ask for his number (if he hasn't given it to me by then) and give him a call. You can learn a lot by hearing their voice and know a bit better if you are still interested. For example, you talk to this guy online for awhile, hit it off....talk to him on the phone...and can't get a word in edgewise and feel like an idiot cause he talks over your head! Or talks all about himself the whole time....ect. There are times where after I talk to a guy on the phone I'll know we won't be compatable. It's much easier learning some of the quirks on the phone than in person where they can see your reaction  And if they have a GREAT, SEXY voice....well that is a bonus!!!!
JMO | |
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| Just a phone call, can't be that bad can it?
Posted: 4/30/2007 2:24:41 PM | | Don't know why some women are like that. I would rather talk on the phone because I feel it gives me a better insight into the person. emails are great but you can write anything you want get a buddies advice etc. I will IM first and if that works out then move to the phone. I am not into this emailing for months on end because I find meeting someone easier. I can tell a lot more about someone face to face than I can in emails. Just me, maybe I am impatient but at least I haven't wasted months only to find out that we are not compatible when we meet. | |
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| Just a phone call, can't be that bad can it?
Posted: 5/10/2007 6:51:28 PM | I personally HATE trying to make phone conversation with someone i havemt met face to face....
Id rather just meet face to face than do a phone call....
thats just me though | |
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| Just a phone call, can't be that bad can it?
Posted: 9/24/2007 12:39:19 AM | I agree with a lot of the comments here....if a guy gives me his contact details in his first email and wants me to call him right away, I don't anymore. I have learned from experience that these kind of impatient guys really are after sex just as easy as they can get it.
As someone else said in this forum, I am not free and I require a little effort to be got!! | |
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| Just a phone call, can't be that bad can it?
Posted: 9/24/2007 1:55:04 AM | Re the OPost
I can relate to the OP's experience. Even when it comes to audio IMing (so no security risk in giviing your number out). I even posted a thread on the topic and it got deleted!
My solution is: I move on, no matter how attractive the woman POFer is. I was not made to speak with my fingers and listen with my eyes (I have a mouth and ears for that). I guess some women have!!!! lol Live and let them live and "talk" with their fingers. | |
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| Just a phone call, can't be that bad can it?
Posted: 9/24/2007 8:12:04 AM | I never ever ask for a womans phone number. EVER. What I do, and it seems to work for me, is somewhere along the way I'll tell them look, I'm gonna give you my number. Call me if you're comfortable doing that, however if you're just not comfortable with doing that yet then just pocket the number and call me when you do feel comfortable. To date no one has flown the coop lol.
Jim | |
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| Just a phone call, can't be that bad can it?
Posted: 10/19/2007 5:59:22 AM | | sometime you are one person online ,but when you get a number you get a differ idea and maybe they are not sure if the truth was being told and they probably were not telling all the fact, so be careful when given your number out | |
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| Just a phone call, can't be that bad can it?
Posted: 11/14/2007 1:38:57 PM | | It must be a big step for some gals to take. Then some women respond to me giving them my number and stating that if I had theirs I would call. Opptions then. Not to talk on the phone after a week of email never seems to go anywhere for me. Like a china egg, pretty but never go to hatch. lol | |
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| Just a phone call, can't be that bad can it?
Posted: 11/14/2007 2:23:37 PM | | i made the mistake of giving my number out to a guy that i had only emailed back and forth a few times and it turned out he just wanted to get in my pants. i stopped taking his calls and he kept calling me anyways about 10x in one night. i was horrified. so for me it's once bitten twice shy lol | |
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| Just a phone call, can't be that bad can it?
Posted: 11/14/2007 8:18:25 PM | | I absolutely HATE talking on the phone...with anyone! and I refuse to give my number out to some guy that has only sent me a couple messages. I had that problem last night his messages barely equaled a whole sentence and he wanted to chat on the phone. You have to earn the right to my phone number sorry. I'm more talkative online or in person I've just never liked talking on it at all not even with family or friends. | |
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| Just a phone call, can't be that bad can it?
Posted: 11/14/2007 8:46:06 PM | Like a few of my female posters here,.. I like a man that can express himself well. After about a week of emailing,.. I'll switch to IM,.. if its a lot of yes... no.. dialogue.. and trying to make a conversation feels like pulling teeth, then he;s certainly not going to get my fone number. theres nothing worse than one of those phone calls where you hardly know someone,.. and you're trying to think furiously of something to say,.. and then get a one word response... Ughhh why do some men think thats ok?
I'm hardly going to meet someone who cant even type a sentence on IM. So, the phone call for me.. would come after some decent conversations on IM. DAx | |
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| Just a phone call, can't be that bad can it?
Posted: 11/15/2007 3:34:00 AM |
I have noticed that after talking through email messages or emails that upon suggesting we talk on the phone I get immediately disregarded. Honestly, no more messages or contact of any kind. This has happened a few times and only after it seemed like the next logical step in getting to know the person better.
I think some people on here just like getting attention with no real plans to actually meet. It's one thing if the other person felt no chemistry or attraction, but why all the messages then? Mention you would like to talk on the phone and some take that as you mentioned you have a STD or something.
It's happened to me a few times as well and I just write it off as people whom I probably would not have clicked with in person anyway if they are that afraid of a phone call (but not opposed to sending endless e-mails). | |
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| Just a phone call, can't be that bad can it?
Posted: 11/15/2007 5:25:45 AM | | There was a time once before the internet was the place to date, that the phone was popular.....It was how we all communicated......When we met somebody we were attracted to while out somewhere we gave our number and then waited for the call.....And now we have more features on our phones than ever before.....Including call blocking....Yes this lovely feature enables you to block a number that calls your house, so let's say call 1 doesn't go so well after he/she has called you....you press the magic numbers (here it's *60) and you add that last caller to a list...the message they receive is "this person doesn't want to be disturbed at the moment" .....I don't know if you can get it for cells....However, I too don't always give out my number to everybody either.....Depends on how the first few conversations go, and I like a guy to offer up his number first it shows he is interested enough in me.....As soon as a guy in the first conversation on here starts asking for more pics of me (I already have 5 up) .....Starts asking me what I am wearing.....Or any other sexual refrence or getting pushy with me...Noway you are getting my number....Not the way to win the chica over.... | |
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| Just a phone call, can't be that bad can it?
Posted: 11/15/2007 6:04:05 AM | Well, I personally will share a few emails. Then go to IM. not this one.I hate this one with a passion..
I love yahoo. since you can call computer to computer.. No phone numbers exchanged for a while..
Then as things move a long. I give out my phone number. But to be honest, Before I give out my phone number I have a pretty good idea, that I want to date this person..
The only exception is if we both know right from the get go, They are in the "friends catagory and will never come out of it..
A huge turn off for me is to get their phone number in the second email.. It doesn't make me feel all that special. I feel like I just hit by a telemarketer
Hope that helps OP | |
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| Just a phone call, can't be that bad can it?
Posted: 11/15/2007 7:02:21 AM | | I hate talking on the phone...really only have one so that my kids and my elderly mom can get ahold of me when necessary. I'm more likely to meet you in person in a neighborhood bar than give you my phone number. | |
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| Just a phone call, can't be that bad can it?
Posted: 11/15/2007 7:31:01 AM |
A huge turn off for me is to get their phone number in the second email.. It doesn't make me feel all that special. I feel like I just hit by a telemarketer.
Nicely put, Sass... And, the thing is - you cannot just put yourself on "No Call" list that easily. | |
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