| Over 40 and no fish!
Posted: 12/2/2006 5:19:30 PM | Geeeeeeeeeez Louise! Let's all drop it. The only reason I was upset is because the gun was jumped and we were in the talking stages. I'm not married or dating anyone ...have anyone...etc. If that were a problem, I think my whole profile would get me in trouble...lol.
'Nuff said!
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| Over 40 and no fish!
Posted: 12/2/2006 10:43:06 PM | Hey I do read and understood what the women were saying .
And I also understand she was also excited & a wee bit shy .
And that she thought it was a bad thing for him to do.
There was nothing wrong with him posting her pof name when he was saying nothing wrong against her. !
Okay so she didn't want anyone to know ! I would find that very uneasy if I was the fellow who asked her out. And yeah it would have made me change my mind also .
Thats the bigest probblem with alot of you on here !
Your all too damed worried what someone else is gonna say or feel because of who you talk with or who you go on a date with .
And yes it also shows whyalot of you are so dam botchy too.
As for you mario I don't give a rats left testical who you are or what mouse you flew in on or the fact you also think someone is not supposed to get excited ! Well people do get excited and do things with out thinking and yes the fellow did ! BIG DEAL and thats how the lady should have understood it. Yes I understand better then alot of you on these forums . As for some of you I think you should read through more then once before flapping your fins.!!
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| Over 40 and no fish!
Posted: 12/3/2006 5:23:37 AM | Problem is too many jealous fishies in the sea! You start posting your going on a date with someone and theres always the chance of getting hate mail. Sometimes you don't even have to date them, just be friends and the wars begin.
I can understand his excitement for a potential date tho!
Let's not start judging him and gently remind those who do post their intentions to keep it to themselves in the beginning.  | |
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| Over 40 and no fish!
Posted: 12/3/2006 5:31:15 AM | lmao...this has taken on a life of it's own. First of all...he did not read what I posted and end the date...you know not what you speak of. Who was the excited one??? Of course, there is always some excitement over any date made...Good lord, people read FAR TOO MUCH into the why's ..the who's...etc. As for being shy...that's TFF. I'm far from shy but...I'd like to keep my dating quiet because ....see what's happening?? Besides the fact, the date may or may not be until the new year and I am still out here fishing, so is he. Why would I want to scare off any potential fish for the man, or vice versa? No..neither of us are serial daters or game players but, until we meet...I'm still going to date! That isn't my main reason of course. I just don't want to have any date I have played out here in public "will it work..won't it work...stay tuned for the next episode of........Memoires of a Forum Poster". Now having said that, I see nothing wrong with IF and WHEN I find that special someone, and I continue to post in the Forums, that I mention I have a special someone and who it is.
VVVVVVVV ...Yes, back to the subject at hand! Not many fishies left in the sea as we are approaching middle age to the late years. It's difficult to find Mr. or Miss/Ms. Right at any age. The odds dwindle as we get older. We get set in our ways, we have a laundry list for a potential mate to meet. I don't think being choosey is wrong, we just have learned from our mistakes and don't wish to repeat them. If it takes longer and becomes frustrating and lonely...that's just the way it is. *grabs her fishin' pole and gives it another cast* | |
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| Over 40 and no fish!
Posted: 12/3/2006 5:40:41 AM | Gee whiz Uncle Mario? Someone get under your skin over there? See how easy it happens? Should I make an assumption on your person because of this little "outburst"? No, I think not.
On the topic, being over 40 without a fish isn't a bad thing. Just the dating is a tad bit more difficult. There is a website that says there are just over 3,000 married women looking for fun. Add that to the gay and married men...doesn't leave a whole lot left now does it? lol
Tis all good though. I am not in any rush! | |
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| Over 40 and no fish!
Posted: 12/3/2006 5:43:40 AM | | Ok, back on topic. We were wondering why it is difficult to find suitable fish when we are over 40. She scratches her head and ponders over the latest turn of events in this thread. Hmmmmmmmmm, could the answer already have been revealed, but we just do not see it painted on the sky??? | |
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| Over 40 and no fish!
Posted: 12/3/2006 5:46:39 AM | | boy oh boy,did i ever open up a can of worms here or stir the hornet's nest!i realized i was overzealous and should have been more careful about what i said.but you can't be worried about little things like that all the time,life is too short.from now on my motto is "have fun,don't worry". | |
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| Over 40 and no fish!
Posted: 12/3/2006 6:00:51 AM | Back on topic, I think we're just a little more cautious with whom we date.
I know what I want, pretty sure about where I wish to retire and I would like to meet someone with my same goals in life. I want to be accepted as the person I am, don't we all?
Lots of factors to consider, children, younger ones especially, can make you think twice.
The other thing is, can we compromise? Are we so set in our ways at this age that this would be difficult?
I've got rid of the baggage, now I wish to fill my suitcase! | |
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Joined: 11/21/2006
Msg: 234 | |
| Over 40 and no fish!
Posted: 12/3/2006 4:32:04 PM | Yes Kit thick headed stiffs that you have to explain things too over and over again too always get under my skin. You can make all the assumption you wish about me he did and he was wrong as well so you may as well join him. LOL
I'm done with this thread good luck. | |
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| Over 40 and no fish!
Posted: 12/3/2006 4:37:37 PM | | Wow Mario! Now there is what I would call a "strong" opinion! Way to go, ya make me proud! | |
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| Over 40 and no fish!
Posted: 12/3/2006 5:55:01 PM | | hey kit,i know it was bad form for me to announce something that hasn't happened yet.i hope you will forgive me.i hope to have the chance to meet you sometime. | |
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| Over 40 and no fish!
Posted: 12/3/2006 6:04:45 PM | Well now no one went over board !!
But back to the topic of this fourm .
There sure is lots of single women for all the single men available that are 40 or over.
But yeah so many singles have so many reasons better known as excusess as to why their not dating then those actually doing it.
Why do we do this who knows !! It seems to be alot that where married before and are now single again tend to want another relationship and will say they do .
But then all them little insecurities pop up in their heads and then their not sure if they should or should not date someone new!
Well are you confused too ??
Yep me also !!
Oh I am sure that if any of you took a chance you'd 9 times out of ten will find that love again and so do all of you too.
Oh sure I may have never been married and hence I don't have them insecurities . Oh sure I know most women will have kids and that has never been a probblem with me and it should never have to be one with anyone else either.
But I know some do find someone with kids a little hard to handle sometimes .
But thats just them insecurities in your head and those anyone will have to get over or you won't stand much of a chance in the dating world to find your sweety !
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| Over 40 and no fish!
Posted: 1/17/2007 12:24:42 PM | Good thread Greanize,
Although you started it in November of last year I found it interesting to read most of the posts. I too have found it harder to meet someone in my forties than when I was in my thirties. My friends and co-workers say I look like I'm in my thirties and I love to have fun with my friends, but finding someone special is hard. I last dated two years ago and it didn't work out.
You talk about paid dating sites. I was in a paid dating service who's profiles were written by the psychologist who operated the service. I found that even if men are professionally screened and their profiles written by the dating service itself, it can still have untruths in them as the dating service is only going by the information given to them by their clients. One man I met through this service was the opposite of what his profile had portrayed.
I like the honesty in what Dantes had to say, that he's in his 30's and has many female friends but due to his high standards has not met his significant other. I guess every age group had trouble meeting the right one.
I also agree with him that it's okay to have friends of the opposite sex until you meet the right one. The one's I have had the best serious relationships with started off with good friends first. You have to start to get to know someone is by the first contact and then the first face to face meeting.
I also think people focus too much on photos and not the profiles. I've heard of people getting either no responses or minimal responses to people they have written on this site and I've had the same thing. I don't know what the guys are looking for exactly either.
Either way, I encourage everyone who's still waiting to meet the right one to not give up or feel their's something wrong with you. My self esteem does not depend on whether I meet someone or not on this site. I'm not perfect, just like no one else is either, but I accept myself the way I am and am working on the things I'd like to improve on.
I'm also believing that there is someone for everyone and that one right fish (not perfect) will swim my way. | |
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| Over 40 and no fish!
Posted: 1/17/2007 12:31:13 PM | Well for me it is a matter of not remembering my name when i apply for a darn fishing lisense and i go fishing without one ,sure enough along comes the warden and i am up chit creek without a paddle again ................i guess i better buy that lisence or no fishing .  | |
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| Over 40 and no fish!
Posted: 1/17/2007 5:00:35 PM | Well it's only 31 days until I am officially over 40. Egads that happened really really fast. Maybe I will just buy an aquarium. | |
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| Over 40 and no fish!
Posted: 1/17/2007 5:53:09 PM | How ironic that this thread was brought back. I just spent some time re-reading some of the posts and I came across this one...message 45 by Leeanne:
HUM - All I 'still' hear is self depreciating, excuses, stubborn and whiny!! Truthfully, it's all right infront of you all - nice, kind and loving partners - ripe for the picking - make some personal changes and the world may open up big time!!!!! Just a thought?!?!?!
Jezus....how correct is that statement!! Personal changes, shift in attitude, a more open mind, a more open heart, and recognize the signs that are put out there for us every day.....holy hannah, things start to happen!  | |
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| Over 40 and no fish!
Posted: 1/20/2007 5:45:28 AM | Well I know from experience as one gets older one has less patience and flexibility to accommodate another persons idiosyncrasies... it all depends on how willing the person is to make the personal sacrifices that comes with a relationship (and whether or not one is willing to modify personal values and morals).
Some people talk about "baggage” and believe me we all have some... it all depends if it is "carry on" or a huge trunk that you have to pay extra for.
One of the other reasons (also to do with the above) is that (and I speak for myself here) a lot of people 40 and above are already established and comfortable... I know I can look after myself, have my own space, happy with myself (for the most part), basically I do have a full life outside of a relationship..(plus I like to dance and you would have to be able to keep up LOL) so an ideal thing for me would be a relationship that would "enhance" my life and not hinder it... and that can be tough on the other person.
Just my 2 cents worth
[[[SyMoN]]]
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| Over 40 and no fish!
Posted: 1/20/2007 6:55:06 AM | | 40+ and no fish? I just know myself better than I ever have, and for the first time in a long time have firmly planted my feet in being who I am, and not settling for any partner just for the sake of having a partner. Why worry about it? It won't help. | |
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| Over 40 and no fish!
Posted: 1/20/2007 7:09:51 AM | LMAO well Greanize I was going to revisit that point - thanks for bringing it back!!! It always holds true!!!
JeepRennie no one at our age will simply settle for the sake of having a partner - nor should they. We do indeed have our feet planted firmly on the ground - we should!! The key is to find someone that will allow you to simply keep them there, while at the same time, help you to sore above the world - hand in hand into all that life has to offer. No one wants to face lifes hurdles alone all the time - that is no way to live. To settle would be wrong - it would not enhance your life, only make it more difficult - but if that SO came along that will enhance your life and make life worth waking up for each day - wouldn't you embrace that? No worries - to worry definitely is not warranted - but to simply allow love in is not such a bad thing!! Let the barriers down - open up and let life happen!!! | |
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| Over 40 and no fish!
Posted: 1/20/2007 7:38:44 AM |
JeepRennie no one at our age will simply settle for the sake of having a partner - nor should they.
Perhaps they shouldn't.... but I've seen a couple of pretty unhappy people do it.
With patience, love comes when its meant to. I'm not the type to "love" all as many seem to here. I think I have just grown a more constrained version of "love". My life experience has taught me to exercise caution and well-considered deliberation. | |
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| Over 40 and no fish!
Posted: 1/20/2007 7:53:55 AM | .... but I've seen a couple pretty unhappy people do it.
Gotta agree to that.. seems as though society governs what some people should do .. I think in the back of everyone's minds (being babyboomers) that by a certain age you should be hooked up and ready for retirment and the grave... and in reality that is not the case.. I am finding that "alternative" thinking people of the age group refered to here are more apt enjoy the single life rather than get tied up in someone elses problems and drama... on the other side, the more "traditionalists" are the ones searching for the holy grail of a partner and sometimes are willing to do to much to the point of unhappiness. When the two views come together .. it is a fine line one walks between acceptance and "forget it"
A friend of mine (same age as me) has completely opposing views than me.. he looks at some of the POF parties as Juvenille ... he much rather stay home and cook for a lady friend .. however to each his/her own...
Dont forget the old saying .. you meet people for a "reason, a season or a liftime" whether they be friends, lovers, partners or all 3 ... The universe is a big place .. never give up hope and never become to Jaded to try again ... and again.. and again...
[[[SyMoN]]]
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| Over 40 and no fish!
Posted: 10/5/2008 2:39:45 PM | I've read several of the posts here and somewhere along the line it turned into a "blamefest".
1st... maturity knows no age nor gender... and maturity to any one person can mean something totally different to another. Just be who you are, the true partner will accept you as you are as you should accept him/her.
2nd... the mistakes we made in a relationship or we chose to accept from a partner in a previous relationship were just that.. mistakes.. if we didn't learn from then, yes, we will repeat them but take responsibility for them. There truly is no sense in blaming someone else especially when it gets us nowhere but back into the same vicious pattern.
3rd... it sounds like many have put so much intense thought and pressure on what you want and how you want it before you've even met the person you may consider for a relationship... in that kind of situation, even I would run for the hills lol.
Whatever happened to meeting someone, enjoying their company and conversation and just walking down the road together? If we keep running, we'll miss the good stuff! | |
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| Over 40 and no fish!
Posted: 10/6/2008 10:17:51 AM | "why most people over 40 are not matching up with someone???"
well, of course, i can't answer for everyone... but for me, it's finding the combination of both the chemistry and shared common interests between us, which makes it difficult
plus, i'm not very good with small talk; as i've gotten older i just don't see the point (being polite is one thing, or sharing enough talk to find out if there *is* indeed something in common we share... but continuing with chat when there's no connection or real interest, i just can't be bothered...)
even with my two best friends, we get together sometimes and have a laugh... and we're always there for each other if we have a crisis or just need a shoulder...we've known each other for years, know we can count on each other for anything... but we're not calling one another every day, or even every week and rarely just chat for the sake of it - too much going on
soo, me being selfish and lazy, maybe? or perhaps i should say = time is more precious to me now and i don't want to waste a second... yeah, that sounds better, i'll stick with that... lol  | |
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| Over 40 and no fish!
Posted: 10/8/2008 1:35:53 PM | I really like what you had to say, I'm over 50 and cant seem to get out of the fog called life
I see that things in the dating world has changed so much, I am a gentleman, and I have always respected other peoples feelings, so why am I still alone.
I hardly get any messages, and I wonder why ? is it because I'm over 50, believe me I'm not dead, LOL.
For me I need the mental and physical attraction to a person, or am I being to shallow?
I hope some day to meet that wright person.
And for you I wish the same.
I'm new at this forum thing, I really hope that this was O.K | |
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| Over 40 and no fish!
Posted: 10/8/2008 1:57:30 PM | Having not read every single post in this very long theory of dating over 40, please excuse me if I am redundant with regard to some points.
I very rarely get any messages on here either...I have wondered for many months why this is. However, for I am sure the same reasons as most great women over 40 on this site, I can only suppose for myself what the issues might be, as I can in now way, speak for anyone else, especially the fickle minds of men and women over 40.
To be introspective about this, I have come up with some theories of my own, why I am over 40 and single, or why, in fact anyone is. As I said I am sure they have already been covered in this post, but for me, I think I am at the point in my life where I am happy and content with my life as it is. Although I may not have a "signficant other", I also do not have to answer to anyone but myself, don't have to explain the purchase of yet another pair of shoes (lol), I can do for the most part what I like when I like and I don't have to play mind games with myself..lol
While, it may seem to some of you that I am jaded, this in fact, is far from the truth. I would love to meet a great guy for me, but I am not about to put my present life and mental stability on the line to to do so.
I, too, need both mental and physical attraction, but I also concede that physical attraction can grow the more you get into someone's mental space.
For the most part my life is full with a great son, family and friends but there are times when I am lonely, but it passes and I really do like spending time with myself.
All I can say is, I cannot get into other people's mindspace but my I am going to continue to enjoy my mostly great life and be ok with the fact that I may never find my "prince charming" (lol) and not let this affect my quality of life. | |
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