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| What does it take to have an affair?
Posted: 11/11/2006 8:21:09 PM | I am sure your not alone but it doesn't make it right.
Try going to counselling with your wife and see if you can make it work. You did take vows after all. For better or worse.
If you are looking for a spark with someone else at least get out of your marriage and over your wife first. Why ruin 2 homes! | |
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| What does it take to have an affair?
Posted: 11/11/2006 8:48:37 PM | This is the problem with morality today. Everyone tries to justify the immoral action through some ridiculous logic. You are trying to justify that having an affair is OK because your intention is to not break up the marriage, but just to cheat on our wife and f.. the other guys wife. OMG.
Here's some more logic for you:
It's OK to rob this bank because I'm not taking all the money.
It's ok to beat this child because I'm not going to kill him.
It's OK to spread lies and rumours because they don't hurt physically.
Yeah... you're a great guy. | |
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| What does it take to have an affair?
Posted: 11/11/2006 9:09:20 PM | OP and anyone else that ever cheated on their spouse, boyfriend/girlfriend.......cheating is not right, it is a perversion of the normal way of doing things. It's fornication and is a henious act.
You can get help, I am sure you may get furthur that way, but don't cheat on your mate. | |
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| What does it take to have an affair?
Posted: 11/11/2006 9:29:38 PM | Actually, Simon, despite all the heat you're taking for your post, I think it's quite healthy that you're putting this out in the open! It's better than bottling this up, and monogymy probably isn't really normal for males, but our society forces it on us. I'd like to have an affair with a married woman myself, but the problem is I never had a full fledged relationship with her to start with and I haven't seen her in a long time, so I've got a much tougher battle than you!
But anyhow, in your case I can't tell if this is a specific woman you want to have an affair with, or just a married woman, period. If it's a married woman that you don't know who you're trying to seduce, your appearance will be crucial, or you'll have to fill some void that the husband isn't filling. But again, your appearance and your ability to turn the married woman on are the easiest nuts and bolts ways to win a married woman, plus the ability to somehow get near to her. My experience with married women is that most of them are dissatisfied with their marriages and ripe for the picking! Also, I've found that it's easier to have affairs with married women in small towns than in big cities, which is strange since you'd think the opposite, but I guess women in smaller towns get bored more easily. | |
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| What does it take to have an affair?
Posted: 11/11/2006 9:55:39 PM | Ok.. I have been on both ends. Did not know this at the time. It stinks.
Just try to renew what you already have. Believe me!  | |
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| What does it take to have an affair?
Posted: 11/11/2006 11:45:13 PM | | here is what it takes to have ana ffair: no respect for yourself...for her..., for her hsuabdn, her kids..and anyone else whos lives will be forever changed by this. Oh yeah, ever heard of Hepatitis?aids?herpes?Gohnnorhea? If these things sound good, have at it. | |
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| What does it take to have an affair?
Posted: 11/12/2006 12:02:36 AM | Wow, I'm amazed.
Then again, being anything other than loyal to ones partner is hard for me to grasp. I mean if it's a mutual open relationship that's one thing, but when it's not.... Man.
I guess people forget the vows or maybe don't take them seriously. "Through thickness, and thin. Till death do us part."
When I was married, I took those vows very seriously. And when things got bad,I didn't give up until she wanted out. And I obliged her against my own personal desires. If you love someone you should want them to be happy even if that means it is with out you.
In my opinion, you need to discuss all of this with her including the prospect of anulling the vows you two once took. Anything else would be dishonorable in my opinion. Now if she agrees to an open relationship, that's entirely different. But in all reality, an open relationship is a difficult thing for most to handle.
Good luck in your endevours. O.o | |
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| What does it take to have an affair?
Posted: 11/12/2006 4:35:19 AM | Well put confused2......As I mentioned I was on both sides of the coin and clueless.
I had no clue this fish was married.
On the other side my hubby was cheating and I was working like a dog to keep him in rehab.
I could wirte a book on being on both ends.
advice....just make it work | |
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| What does it take to have an affair?
Posted: 11/12/2006 4:50:50 AM | i agree with the other posters.put the energy back into your marriage......you say she cheated on you ......i say 2 wrongs dont make a right.......you think it will make things even......it wont............if there is love left between you two rekindle it.... if not get out and start fresh........why hurt people unnessicarily(?)...back in the day an affair was when 2 people met and found an attraction too strong to ignore thus engaging in an affair ...it didnt make it right....but....premeditated adultry......shopping for affairs ...whats next....
not judging here just giving my opinion
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| What does it take to have an affair?
Posted: 11/12/2006 9:10:07 AM |
I'm not a bad guy I just want to have an affair with a female that is also married.
And this makes you not a bad guy? What does it make you..a good guy? A great guy?...Come on now.......It makes you a bad guy....
You want some excitement?...you want some spark?...You bring home a dozen roses, pour some wine, you stay home and work on it....or...GET OUT!...But, I suppose GETTING OUT would not be the easy road......'nuff said!!!
maybe have a discreet mutually gratifying relationship[/qoute] You can have a discreet, mutually gratifying relationship with yourself!  | |
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| What does it take to have an affair?
Posted: 11/12/2006 9:30:02 AM | I'm not a bad guy I just want to have an affair with a female that is also married. I'm not looking to change anyones situation, but maybe have a discreet mutually gratifying relationship. Is this possible?
You can try and spin this however you want but the fact is you are married, your profile says you have children and that alone makes you a jackass for even contemplating in doing this. You come on here looking for support or help in cheating not only on your wife but also your children. AND you want to do this with another married woman and potentially screw up another family too. You can be as "discreet" as you want but it will come out sooner or later.
Give me a friggin break. Sorry I think you're an ass for even thinking of doing this.
What you should do is go home, sit down with your wife and figure out what happened to get to this point and then find a solution. Cheating on your family is not a solution. It's cowardly. | |
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| What does it take to have an affair?
Posted: 11/12/2006 10:38:21 AM | what kills me most is married people with children who have affairs. As said in previous posts its not just the spouse you are cheating on but the children. It does them a lot of damage as well. What sort of example are you setting for them.
Be sure to think of everyone involved before you go and do something silly for a cheap thrill. | |
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| What does it take to have an affair?
Posted: 11/12/2006 11:48:08 AM | "What does it take to have an affair?" Hmmm...let me think ... no morals, lack of respect for your partner, lack of respect for yourself, lack of a backbone to fix what's broken, being a chicken$hit. Just being a retard in general. So I guess you should look for someone who's just like you .... sheeeesh ... some people... And by the way "I'm not a bad guy" ... uh, yeah, ya are. You've apparently got no belief in karma. What goes around comes around. | |
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| What does it take to have an affair?
Posted: 11/12/2006 2:59:05 PM | Just being a retard in general.
I'm pretty sure that retarded people are no more likely to cheat on their spouses as the rest of us.
Just tossing that one in.  | |
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ksue44
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Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 44 | |
| What does it take to have an affair?
Posted: 11/12/2006 7:55:07 PM | | OP - be careful what you wish for, you may get it and more. An affair is not the answer to your problems in your marriage, in fact it will make it worse. The two of you need to sit down, communicate to one another whether or not you want to be in this marriage. If you don't want to be in the marriage, then get out, however don't use your kids as weapons or put them in the middle. | |
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| What does it take to have an affair?
Posted: 11/12/2006 8:00:53 PM | | So what; she did it and you should too? Gee, where can *I* sign up for some of that sh!t? Jesus Christ on a piece of toast batman, bad move. You're taking a bad relationship and killing it completely. Fix it or walk. | |
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| What does it take to have an affair?
Posted: 11/15/2006 10:01:30 AM | If you have ever been on the "bad" side of the affair then you wouldn't even put this thought out there! Affairs are cheating.. cheating is dishonest..to be dishonest is to be a liar..a liar does not tell the truth.. so when she says this is the first and only time and I swear I'll never do it again.. read from the beginning
just a thought from personal experience... | |
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| What does it take to have an affair?
Posted: 11/15/2006 3:36:16 PM | Having been the wife of a cheating pig, believe me you ARE a bad guy! Like it or not! Time to accept it. What is so wrong with your marriage that you wish to stray?? I think you should work on those problems before trying to deal with the problems of trying to have an affair!!!!!!!!!!!!! And definately if you truely love your wife...think about how much it will hurt her, because as much as you men think you'll never get caught, trust me we women ALWAYS ALWAYS find out...
trust me I found out about a woman my hub slept with when he was 1000 miles away from home, and now 5 years later, I just met another who simply called me out of the blue to ask for him, and apparently has a child he didn't know about...so remember we always find out! trust me on that one. No matter how careful you think you are, you'd be amazed at how things get back to the main woman in your life! | |
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| What does it take to have an affair?
Posted: 11/16/2006 10:41:14 AM | My marriage sucked for a number of reasons I won't list here, and the fault was at least half mine, but instead of cheating, I got a divorce. Because, like the woman above me said, you will get caught.
If you really think divorce is not an option, or all you really need is some variety, find a callgirl or go to a strip club or something. Just remember what some comedian whose name I can't recall said, "You don't pay hookers for sex, you pay them to go away afterwards and never come back."
Seriously, the reason an affair is a bad idea is because you are not only physically cheating (as in your spouse MAY forgive you getting a drunken lap dance), but you are loving someone besides your wife. I know a few gay male couples and they seem to have a general rule that having sex outside the couple is not cheating, but getting emotionally involved is definitely cheating. Do you see where I am going with this, dude?
I get the feeling from your posts that what you're looking for is just some variety, not a full-blown affair. Now, if it is sexual variety, like I said, there are options that won't come back to haunt you. On the other hand, if the romance is gone from your marriage, you need to think about a few things.
One, are you a romance junkie? Once the honeymoon is gone, is your interest also gone? Think about your pre-marriage romances... Did they end once the honeymoon phase did? If that is the case, you need to realize that it is and work on your marriage.
Two, on the other hand, is the marriage truly dead? If it is, get out. Simple as that. | |
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