| Living Alone
Posted: 1/1/2008 6:53:46 PM | | I have lived alone going 5 years now. Is not bad but you have to get used to cuddling with the pillow, and that part sucks... Remember however, that you have to like someone A LOT to live together in relative harmony. Are you ready to share your bed for instance, and sleep only on one side, and adjust the temperature so you don't freeze or fry your mate? What about your mate falls in love with cats and you're a dog lover, if you have an all-out - everyone does- who slams the door and who sleeps in the couch? Maybe you should try spending weekends under the same roof before you try the permanent thing. And if you have lived 32 years alone, I don't think you are about to change your habits. | |
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| Living Alone
Posted: 1/1/2008 7:37:59 PM | I’ve been living completely alone now for almost 2 yrs. However, since my separation 8 yrs ago … I’ve spent the majority of my time by myself. My son lived with me when he wasn’t going to college until he got his own place & moved out 2 yrs ago.
I’ve read with great interest the posts by people who have lived alone for long periods of time. Since I was married for 25 yrs before my 5 yr separation & then my divorce 3 yrs ago … I have found adjusting to the single life very difficult. So much so that after investing almost 2 yrs working on personal issues following my divorce & almost 18 months of dating … I’ve decided to take a break from dating & focus on getting more comfortable being single & living alone.
Prior to my divorce I never expected to be single again so I was totally unprepared. I find that I really miss having someone special in my life. It’s hard to explain but it almost feels like a part of me is missing … gone. I still find myself rushing to the phone when something special happens to me before realizing that I don’t have anyone to call. I find myself constantly turning down invitations in order to avoid feeling like a 3rd wheel. And the holidays … well, I guess everyone knows how tough the holidays can be when you are alone.
On the other hand I have learned a lot about myself since I began living alone. While I don’t make resolutions … 1 of my goals this year is to reach a level of comfort in being single & being alone. I’m not exactly sure how I will accomplish this but I’m determined to give it my best shot. Now this doesn’t mean that I’m opposed to meetings someone new & beginning a new relationship … it just means that it’s not going to be my 1 & only focus.
Happy New Year Everyone!
Gary | |
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| Living Alone
Posted: 1/1/2008 9:26:59 PM |
When you move into someone else's home, it never becomes your home. No matter how hard you try, you don't have any power to make necessary changes.
I hear ya from the other side. About 12 years back, I had a girlfriend move in with me. She was moving from a large 2 bedroom apt. with her kids to my tiny, tiny, 1 bedroom hole in the wall. [The kids went to live with their dad.] My closet was waaaaaaaaay too small, so I tossed a lot of clothes, and I think I must have moved stuff to my parents' house, too! 
She brought no furniture, hardly anthing but clothes. Even so, the place was like a dumpster, we just couldn't move around. She started to point at things. "This should go, you don't use it/need it." I resisted, but....y'know....I thought about it....and she had sacrified everything to move in---was I going to quibble about stuff I didn't even use? So I tossed the stuff. Yes, I was sad to do so because I'm a pack rat, but truth is, I was never going to use that stuff again. It's a learning process. I was lucky that she didn't really throw a fit or anything, she was just trying to make the place more livable for BOTH of us.
We got a new place six months later. | |
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| Living Alone
Posted: 1/2/2008 10:39:13 AM | | Celebrating 2 years of living alone is just fine with me. I teeter between finding the last love of my life and giving up my independence. I guess, when the right man comes alone, I will be entrenched in making a life for the two of us. Until then, I am happy to call my time my own........... but, I would rather have someone to spoil. Living alone poses the problem of what to cook for supper. THAT is my biggest obstacle. | |
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| Living Alone
Posted: 1/2/2008 12:01:47 PM | | Been living alone for almost nine years. Got my kids half the time but with two now in college and one in early teens my time alone is increasing. Used to it - enjoy my time. I never once have felt lonely in all these years. Only thing is - something cool or interesting will happen and I have no one to turn to and say "wow, did you see that" - the scary part for me is that it feels right. And I know being alone is not "right" - my focus has been on kids, business, and really not too worried about someone in my life. Which brings me to POF - maybe someone comes along - maybe not. I don't press or get depressed about it. I love to cook and cook a meal for one each and every night. I like where I am - and I sure won't settle just to be with someone. I KNOW that is not right. | |
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| Living Alone
Posted: 1/2/2008 12:18:54 PM | Living alone poses the problem of what to cook for supper. THAT is my biggest obstacle.
Restaurants, look into them.
No cooking issues, no dishes.
Obstacle?!
What obstacles do I have?
Dang, seriously...all I can think of is sex.
Well, a partner for dinner at the restaurant would be nice but it's not an "obstacle".
Obstacle....obstacle....obstacle...
Driving back from the doctor after a sedative or eye exam.
That's all I can think of. | |
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| Living Alone
Posted: 1/2/2008 4:50:31 PM | The food consternation is easy. Red box is Stouffer's, white, Lean Cuisine.
I don't buy the green ones. Healthy Choice, I think. Tastes like the cardboard it comes in.
Did I shut the coffee pot off? Drink only instant during the week.
Is the iron off? Own 2 irons, one still clad in original box. Rescue and hang.
What about the curling iron? Shower, thow in hair goop, dries on way to job.
Can get away with higher volumes of music. I overlook my 70 year old neighbor's full pool nudity, he puts up with Bobby Darin or Sweeney Todd. Or maybe he's deaf.
Car issues are a problem. But I've got a good mechanic who usually has something slightly better than a Yugo to drive for a day. They usually have 4 doors, though.
Sedatives and eye exams could be a problem. Work pals or cabs. Or, just ingnore the fact that you needed new reading glasses 1.5 years ago.
The best had to be 6 months ago. House issue. Enter and hear "ppssssssssssss.."
Whaaa?! Houses are not audible. Fridge ice maker line decided to burst. Water everywhere. Call plumber who was here in 17 minutes. Only going for 2 to 3 hours. Could have been worse, like 10.
I am more ocd on one thing though.
"Is the garage door closed?"
Been known to drive around the block on that one..... | |
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| Living Alone
Posted: 1/2/2008 5:08:28 PM | | 14 years for me. The good news is that people who live on their own usually die a lot earlier. So we can all look forward to not having to put up with it for much longer. | |
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| Living Alone
Posted: 1/2/2008 5:11:15 PM | | I have been living on my own 11 years. I would rather live with a man. | |
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| Living Alone
Posted: 1/3/2008 5:30:08 AM | The fact that we are all alone, and happy doing so, says something about us all. And for me, being alone in my own home with all that room to run around as I please is exciting, to say the least, yet when and if, the time c0mes, I'll welcome her with open arms, to do with the place we choose to live in as she so pleases.
I'd only like it to be near water and a golf course. Not asking much now am I? | |
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| Living Alone
Posted: 1/3/2008 6:13:36 PM | I have never lived alone. In 47 years I have never lived alone. I went from my father's house to one with my first husband, had three children to keep me company during the two years I was single between husbands.
I am down to one teenager at home. These days there are times when I actually am alone. I look forward to them and enjoy them; mainly because they are rare and temporary.
I am staring down the road and see lots of alone time ahead. I am not sure if I like what I see. Fortunately I am too vain to put on my glasses so it's not real clear. I'll wait till I get a little closer and can get a better look. | |
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| Living Alone
Posted: 1/3/2008 6:56:15 PM | | I have been living alone for more than 7 years. Being busy at work etc, I do not feel very lonely but I do prefer to have someone in my life, provided the relationship does not bring trouble. | |
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| Living Alone
Posted: 1/3/2008 7:24:40 PM |
I am not sure if I like what I see. Fortunately I am too vain to put on my glasses so it's not real clear
That's okay, you can leave the glasses off.
Trust me, I really am Brad Pitt. | |
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| Living Alone
Posted: 1/3/2008 7:35:31 PM | I am relatively new at this living alone concept. I don't like it one bit! This was the first time ever that I spent Christmas Eve and Christmas alone. I couldn't stand it. I cancelled a party I had intened to go to, because I was so depressed, I didn't want to drag others down with me. I have been married my entire adult life. My biggest fear is being alone. BUT...I don't think I will ever live with someone again. I might fall madly and passionately in love with someone...but will not live with them. While I hate the lonliness...I love my freedom, more............................ JMO............... | |
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| Living Alone
Posted: 1/3/2008 8:10:39 PM | I have lived alone on and off several times in my adult life....but right now is the first time of actually being alone. I became an empty nester this past year and it was difficult at first to get use to. But now, it's not bad...in fact, I am kinda liking it. Kinda.
There are pros and cons to everything. For me, right now, there are more pros than cons to living alone. | |
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| Living Alone
Posted: 1/3/2008 10:14:42 PM | Lived with parents and 22 siblings. Married at 15 and have lived with a combination of kids/hubbies for the next 38 years. Almost 3 years living with critters, but no humans.
Let's see....milk container never put back into the fridge with a swallow left.
The toilet seat stays in the position I left it - albiet it frequently has wet foot prints
cause stupid cats seem to think toilet water is always better than fresh water in kitchen
Dinner is served when how and why I want it.......frequently at the coffee table.
Coffee is always made the way I like it
There is never an arguement about temperature of house, electric blanket or my feet.
Car always full of gas; my car keys hangin on the hook and no one complainin' cause "it's their turn to use the car" tho I have heard whisperings among the critters - no one has been caught joy riding yet.
No porn on 'puter: altho the cats get up on desk to play cards occaisionally. Dawg lays under desk and enjoys space heater and tryin to blast me out with the rankest farts known to woman-kind ( thought I left that in custody of last spouse - guess not)
After 3 years alone I have learned so much about myself. I think I am funny; the remote is never lost. All movies are my tastes and I am still a valid and loving/lovable person even without a wedding ring. Do I want a final love? Sure, but not at the expense of going back to what I left.
Living alone is lonesome at times, never lonely. Some man willing to just co-habitate from another place? Go home most nights? Do your laundry at your house? And not invade the above list too much ? Swell. Drop a line ; but I am tellin ya, the role of fart machine is taken - talk to the dawg. | |
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| Living Alone
Posted: 1/3/2008 10:16:41 PM | | I have been married since I was 18..have only been alone for 19 months, its hard, I hate being alone and would give it up in a heartbeat to the right person, hopefully I have just met him..I have kids but they cant take the place of a man in your heart.. | |
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| Living Alone
Posted: 1/5/2008 10:41:07 AM | Can make another sordid attempt at "Lullaby of Birdland" without anyone uttering "ugh".
Cleaning commences at 7am or 7 pm. Dealer's choice.
AC never below 76-77, heat never goes on. Ever! Florida is never that cold that long.
Agreed. Tolilet seat position surprisingly stable.
I can always find the remote.
I can replay :37 of a cd 19 times if I want to learn the real version. Sheet music is invariably dummied down.
Enjoy Rat Pack re-creation with Sinatra or Rocky Horror at volume of choice.
"It's just a jump to the left!" | |
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| Living Alone
Posted: 1/5/2008 10:53:55 AM | | mrsmiles HONEY stop following me around.LOL I left my glasses at the other site, and you know I cant stand the glare from that smile. lol As for being alone. I like it for the most part. I eat when I want..go to bed when I please. I answer to no one but Andre my dog. He's the boss. I just cant get away from those bossy males. Would I like a S/O. No denying that as long as the right one comes alone. I will know. | |
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| Living Alone
Posted: 1/5/2008 1:04:33 PM | | I WAS living alone - or at least without a partner - for 22 years, and I liked it that way. Now I'm living with a roommate, and gradually adjusting to it. We took live together for financial reasons mostly, and we aren't involved sexually. Separate bedrooms, separate lives. Not such a bad situation at all, really, as long as our other partners or love/sex/romance interests can deal with polyamory. | |
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| Living Alone
Posted: 1/5/2008 1:09:54 PM |
Obstacle....obstacle....obstacle...
Driving back from the doctor after a sedative or eye exam.
That's all I can think of.
Well, you don't need to move someone IN with ya just to get a ride back from the doctor's office, silly! Just ask someone for a ride....or call a cab. | |
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| Living Alone
Posted: 1/5/2008 3:28:37 PM | Well, I am not alone...I still have 3 kids at home. But I remember living on my own in my early 20's. It was just me and my cat. I loved going for walks to the park on Sundays with the paper and just sitting there for hours, or going to the book store for hours on end. Sitting in front of the tv watching old movies on a rainy day is pretty good too.
I don't want to move in with someone just to not be "alone". Not sure what will happen down the road, but I definitely will discuss much before making any major moves. | |
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| Living Alone
Posted: 1/5/2008 3:41:25 PM | | i've been living alone for 10 years, but have had a ltr (or two) in the meantime, we just didn't live together. the longer i have my own place, the harder it is to let go of that privacy, the freedom to do what ya want, where ya want, when ya want. not having to mediate everything, every change in decor, put up with each other's messes or finicky habits....all those compromises are hard work sometimes...but even though i'm happy to be single and living alone, i still think that if the right guy came along and LOVE happened...i'd probably (gulp) even marry the guy! *L* | |
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| Living Alone
Posted: 1/5/2008 3:49:40 PM | Right now, I'm quite content to be living alone and I'm not too sure I'd want to give up my situation for all the tea in China.
I've been alone for 7 years and for the first 6 1/2 yrs. I absolutely hated it and fought it tooth and nail. I actually thought I would never know joy or be happy ever again, unless I had someone significant in my life.
Then about 6 months ago, I had an epiphany or what some might call an..... AH.... HA moment.
I actually got tired of not measuring up to men's expectations and how it was making me feel about myself. So, I gave my head a shake and I haven't looked back.
I have a great life, family, friends, security and freedom. What's so bad about that?
But, best of all.....I'm my own best company and I'm lovin' it. They can eat my dust now. | |
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| Living Alone
Posted: 1/5/2008 4:09:37 PM | "The good news is that people who live on their own usually die a lot earlier. "
Not necessarily. My relatives that have lived alone, lived into their 90's, and yes, independantly living alone, take care of themselves, and enjoying every moment. I come from a line of people who enjoy their own adventures. | |
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