| Living Alone
Posted: 1/5/2008 6:31:39 PM | there is the classic difference between alone and lonely...i'd separated 7 years ago...and finally divorced, but always had a kid or two around the house (not to mentions our dogs)... my last dog pasted away last year @ 14, and my daughter just moved out...sooo, this is the first time i have been totally alone....ever.
so far, i am not lonely...i work, am involved with several things...and have found company on the forum....
yep, i'm alone at last.....but i may get a dog!
oh...maraima, one of my grannys died last year at 96 and had lived alone for 40 years...my other granny is living alone at 94...both were active, happy ladies (well, the 94 yr old still is...) ... i think that's the secret. | |
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| Living BY MYSELF...
Posted: 1/5/2008 9:33:55 PM | I live BY MYSELF, not alone, that seems to conger up some pathetic visual...lol. I love it, been by myself 14 years and have had a roomy once, recently for 2 months--more than enough for me. I like my freedom, privacy, quiet and ability to do whatever I want, when I want.
The down side is if I am doing something that take an extra set of hands, well, I have to find a neighbor. I do miss going on trips with someone else, even now, but I have traveled quite a bit and have done well.
Over the years (especially in the beginning right after the divorce was finished) I thought "some day, maybe" I'd find a great guy. Sadly, I only have found guys who are in debt up to their eye brows, addicted to porn, wanting women young enough to be their daughter or have some addiction...and then there are the scary ones...nope won't go there.
I will admit, before my divorce was underway, I met a guy that was the best. But it was not the right time. I figured we'd see each other after all the dust settled, but it didn't happen. Never forgot him, he was who I used as a guide to what I wanted--the best.
Sometimes I think I will not meet "Mr. Right", but then I don't put a lot of effort into finding him either!
I guess when I least expect it, I'll see a line in front of me with some great bait and take a nibble... | |
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| Living Alone
Posted: 1/20/2008 3:56:38 AM | Depends on if the question is living totally alone or just living without a romantic relationship in the house with you ~ there is a difference. I have had platonic room mates for several years, and now live with and take care of aging parents. So I have have not lived "alone" in a very long time.
It has been many years since I have lived with a man and at this point would not consider putting up with that again  | |
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| Living Alone
Posted: 1/20/2008 4:19:48 AM | 17 Months Living alone
3 months living in a Van
Moving 150 miles away from Everyone friends Family e.t.c to straighten myself out
Being made Homeless again by a Private Landlord after getting a Place to stay
2 visits to Hospital due to Injury Moving 2 times again with a Broken leg
finally getting the place I am at now ,with a lot of Help by the Local Council who I can't Praise enough
Never seem to worry about being alone , quite happy in my own Company
In no rush to start the merry go round of Dating , but keeping an eye out just in case a Engaging smile and a lovley pair of eyes crosses my path
Sure I miss being with Someone , but i'd rather live alone than be with someone just for the sake of Company
p:s my middle name isn't lucky | |
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| Living Alone
Posted: 1/20/2008 12:29:08 PM | | alone now for 10 years, Its nice to go when you want do what you want , but it would be nice to have someone to come by and see if you are ok and talk!!! | |
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| Living Alone
Posted: 1/20/2008 1:45:47 PM | | i have been the " renegade" for about 3 years now ( completely alone), no kids and grandkids, no space cadets hanging out etc. iam finding out who i really am, and some of my strenghts as well as weaknesses. i also am enjoying myself and my attitude a lot more now then when i was a mom, wife , attached with someone, hooked up with some cospirator etc. I LIKE WHERE I AM NOW- PEACEFUL. The hardest part of being by myself is when i cook meals. It is hard to make a meatloaf for one!!! I do enjoy being by myself, but i do occasionally get out of my "cage" and share with others the ambience of it all. | |
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| Living Alone
Posted: 1/20/2008 4:39:05 PM | Divorced 10 years to be exact though I do have two children and have dated in those years.Just never came across the right one I guess and I am not going to settle for just anyone to be married to so people will stop thinking something is wrong with me.
I know a few people that are so unhappy with their marriages but they dont' want to be alone or give up some of the perks of being married,they don't even like the person they are with so..............to me being alone is much better then living in misery with someone.
Me? Well you have to enjoy your own company before anyone else can,be content with who you are.And for me it took alot of soul searching to find that.But it would be nice to meet that best friend you can't do without,but something tells me I won't meet him online but you never know!!!!!!!!!! | |
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| Living Alone
Posted: 1/21/2008 4:29:20 PM | I have been by myself since I seperated December 2006. I was very surprised to discover that I really liked being alone. I have met some ladies and dated, but having my own place to flop when I want is really neat. And I have discovered myself in so many ways. I once heard a saying that went something like "You're only lonely when you don't like the person you are alone with"
Think about it. | |
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| Living Alone
Posted: 1/21/2008 5:02:10 PM | I've lived on my own for 5 and half years, although I did have a room mate for about 6 months at one point. I recently had someone camp out at my place for a month while he was doing some job hunting. By the end of that month I was getting antsy, lol, wanting my space back.
It's taken a long time but I can enjoy my own company now. It would be nice to be in a relationship where he has his own place and I keep mine. We would spend time together, but if either of us needs some space, we have a place to go. | |
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| Living Alone
Posted: 1/21/2008 5:41:12 PM | I've lived alone for 5 years, been divorced 8, so it's nothing new for me.. I do have my dog and cat, and they are always happy to see me when I come home. The dog wants to go outside and the cat wants food 
I enjoy being by myself, although it does get lonely at times. Better to be alone than with someone you don't care about! .. JMO | |
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| Living Alone
Posted: 2/15/2008 6:02:44 PM | without question, it is a terrible thing to live with or be married to someone who makes you sick to your stomach. that being said, i never thought i would be living alone for any long period of time, let alone be married "twice" and each for about ten years married and a couple added years before that, intensely involved.
i think it takes two team players, two concerned and caring individuals with lives of their own --but also respect and admiration for each other's purpose and interest. it takes two people with a keen sense of self respect and not needing to put the other person down or constantly assuming that "judging" is a necessary part of life. it takes trying to accomadate and being accomodating. having some sort of rythmn together and a keen sense of enjoying each other's company. having a mutual consideration for each to have sufficient space, equitable interest in property shared, trust and security. and of course, attraction and equal delight in touching and nurturing.
well, so far it seems my dream ain't coming true. yes, there's a man in my life and we make it work a couple of times a week, feeling secure that we are not out looking to screw around. but i guess some are more wounded than others from past relationships, some are more solitary and needing of more exhorbitant times of loneness. then again, some are more apt to take risks.
so, i just take it all one day at a time. beats being totally alone and miserable (for me). dating scenes trying to impress people i know nothing about and/or screwing around are just not my style. well, i guess we all have our dreams and our realities. i've just let it go the the universe and try to give service whenever i can, as well as learn to be with myself and know who i am and that i'm pretty proud of myself.
would i rather be spiritually and intellectually and morally linked "until death due us part"? you betcha! | |
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| Living Alone
Posted: 2/15/2008 7:30:23 PM |
How many of you are now living alone? And for how long? What do you like about living alone? Dislikes? Would you rather be living with a partner?
I’ve never lived completely alone, but I lived without a partner for 23 years … most of my adult life. All that changed last fall when my Honey moved 300 miles so that we could be together and live together.
Was there trepidation? You bet! Has it been an adjustment? Absolutely! Many of the things that we had become accustomed to doing by ourselves and for ourselves have now become things that we do WITH each other and FOR each other. But we are both extremely adaptable people, we have very similar temperaments and dispositions and very similar lifestyle preferences. This has made the transition from being a single to being part of a couple a lot easier than I ever thought it would be. I am not as set in my ways as I thought I was.
Living with a partner after so many years without one has not been without some challenges. But so far, none of those challenges has been insurmountable. I think a large part of the reason for that is that we are both ready to share our lives with another person, we both recognize that there were certain parts of our “single” lifestyle that we have to give up or change and we’re willing (and able) to do that in a way that neither one of us feels that we are “sacrificing” something important to us.
After living alone for many years, it’s not uncommon to fear that we may lose our freedom, independence or identity when and if we choose to partner with another and I was no exception. It’s also not uncommon to fear the lifestyle changes that inevitably occur when another person shares your life. And again, I was no exception. But for me, those fears have proven to be unfounded and I enjoy living WITH my Honey far more than I enjoyed living without him.
“It's not so much that we're afraid of change or so in love with the old ways, but it's that place in between that we fear . . . It's like being between trapezes. It's Linus when his blanket is in the dryer. There's nothing to hold on to.” ~M. Ferguson
LH | |
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| Living Alone
Posted: 2/15/2008 7:42:33 PM | 15 happy years now! Can't imagine meet anyone my age, who could make me want to change that. Good friends and fun with them, beat the baggage laiden types available.
Either they aren't over the late spouses/ex's, or there is some issue (couch potatoes comes to mind). This isn't a gender issue for me. Women aren't any better it is an age issue in my opinion. Burned out, and just not appeal to me. | |
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| Living Alone
Posted: 2/15/2008 8:52:11 PM | 6years but could be 20
It's better to be alone and lonely than with someone and alone................... | |
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| Living Alone
Posted: 2/15/2008 9:53:32 PM | Alone but not lonely..............works for me. | |
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| Living Alone
Posted: 2/16/2008 7:54:17 AM | | I've only been living alone for 5 months now. It has its good things and bad things. Good thing is that I'm no longer attached (to my parents). I've actually gotten in better shape and there's not a lot of noise (from my parents). The bad thing is that now I hear every type of noise like the refrigerator running or the wind outside. And I also love going back to work because that's where are the people are at. I've been living with my parents for so many years that I still can't believe I'm living on my own and alone. | |
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| Living Alone
Posted: 2/16/2008 9:58:46 AM | I have been living alone for 1 year and a half now. I don't feel lonely when my kitty is around or when my music is playing, watching a movie, playing a game, watching a game, whenever I keep busy with something.
What I like about living alone.... do what I want, when I want, how I want. Virtually no stress.
What I dislike about being alone is the most obvious reason.
I'll live with anyone that doesn't add stress to my life and that balances my life as well I do her's. I'm all for good balance and chemistry in life. | |
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| Living Alone
Posted: 2/16/2008 4:57:51 PM | Hmmmmm, about four years I guess. I lived part time with a girlfriend after my last situation (don't know what else to call it, in retrospect there is no way that was any kind of "relationship" although he was at my house 6 days a week), and worked away part time on boats. Then four years alone. I loved my little space and didn't mind being alone.
I would like to think that at some point I might find someone to share some part of my life with. Perhaps living together. I don't know. I like my independence, and I like him to have his and his own interests. I don't like to mingle finances either.
It does cross my mind that the more time I spend alone the less able I will be to comfortably live with another......hmmmmm. | |
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| Living Alone
Posted: 2/16/2008 7:06:59 PM | | I had the luxury of living alone for my last year of college, and I've been living alone since. That's almost 9 years! I don't know if I could live with someone again--I've probably developed some unusual habits that only an outsider would notice.. But I'm pretty adaptable, so I guess it's possible. | |
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