| What do women think of guys who dont drink??
Posted: 12/2/2006 11:23:17 PM |
you have my respect lostrider
considering at your age drinking is supposed to be a part of socialising yet you choose not too due to reasons you have stated -- this will work against you amongst your peer group more often than not -- i speak from experience
commendations to you for being a individual and not one of the multitude of sheep that do it because its the expected thing and they want to "fit in" or get validated in some way by doing it.
Thanks! That's encouraging for me, that some people understand.  | |
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Dom77
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Joined: 11/11/2006
Msg: 128 | |
| What do women think of guys who dont drink??
Posted: 12/23/2006 5:05:08 PM | | I'll have 2 drinks tops when I go out. I like to stick to maybe one if any. I don't feel like I have to drink when I go out and to have a good time(I think I've been drunk twice my life).I have no problem with poeple who do drink to have a good time, but I prefer to be sober. Yes other people(usually ones who don't know me at all) sometimes tell me to "come on. loosen up!" when I'm offered to drink. I find that ironic because people who know me well say I'm a pretty calm, loosened up kinds of guy. I have never had anyone give me crap about not drinking on a date though, but if anyone does it's ususally in a group setting not a date and they're drunk anyways. | |
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| What do women think of guys who dont drink??
Posted: 12/23/2006 6:27:04 PM | | Well my friend I'm sixty four and sober going on twenty seven years! I understand your delema, however I soon got tired of doing the bar scene while not drinking. I realy don't think she was nervous about your sobriety? Maybe she was just not into you my friend. Your right about having fun and enjoying life without booze. Over the years I've had relationships with women who also did not drink! The results were the same. So back to the drawing board. Most women on this site are a little older with a lot of experience and are pretty specifice in what kind of guy they are looking for? Remember when the rubber hits the road, they will make the final decision. I'm very comfortable in or out of a relationship.The challenge of the chase is like fishing, I'm always open to catch and re-lease. When you sleep with someone you consider a friend, trust me it just doesn't work! I would prefer being lonely from time to time rather then being in a bad relationship! Good luck just keep being Mr. nice? | |
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| What do women think of guys who dont drink??
Posted: 12/23/2006 6:59:07 PM | Jindelray, go to places were they don't serve booze--duh--
I feel compelled to compliment the many shades of grey in this thread--a little of this and a little of that--the truth is--you do or you don't--what ever it is--drinking,smoking,walking, talking, breathing, or getting pregnant--it just isn't done a little bit --you either do or you don't--so if you don't drink then its what you do and who's better to judge you than you--so why the self doubt???--and why should you care even?? If you smoke --to a none smoker you stink--don't like it? tough-thats how it is-- if you drink, to a none drinker you're stupid--don't like it?-- tough-thats how it is.--you want to make some one who doesn't drink think your cool when you do?? then you're really stupid- you can't make them happy and you can't make them sad and you can't make them understand why you drink--even though you fully understand exactly why you do. YOU know its so you can be different than you really are--cause who you are isn't how or who you want to be--don't like to hear it?? --tough thats how it really is--and whats really the kicker is that its inside of you-that thing you don't like--sometimes it makes you angry and you take it out on others around you --sometimes you can cover it up a little(loosen up a little)--but the truth is the herb or the booze changes you and you welcome it--its always been like that--for thousands of years--not right, not wrong, not evil, not good,--don't like it??--tough--thats how it is. So if you drink why should you put up with someone who doesn't drink like you or if I don't drink why be around those that do??--just do what you like and leave everyone else alone--just stay out of their faces and stop trying to change them -- | |
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| What do women think of guys who dont drink??
Posted: 12/24/2006 7:07:21 AM | I had to quit drinking, for health reasons a couple of years ago.
Ever since, I find myself avoiding most social settings that may involve alcohol.
I find it too hard to be around a situation where people are drinking, because alcohol's often pushed in your face. People constantly offering drinks, asking why you won't drink, etc.
I'd prefer avoiding such situations, rather than find myself explaining personal health issues, to people who I feel it's none of their business. | |
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| What do women think of guys who dont drink??
Posted: 12/24/2006 8:56:25 AM | I feel the same way about men who don't drink as I do about men who don't smoke.
As long as they don't have a problem with me doing it, it's fine by me.
I rarely drink anyway, and when I do it's only a few, but when I feel like it I don't want to be made to feel as though I shouldn't just because they aren't. | |
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| What do women think of guys who dont drink??
Posted: 12/25/2006 4:57:48 AM | | i dont drink, smoke or do any drugs.....though in my younger years I have tipped a few. I am happier now than ever but I agree with you it makes people uncomfortable if you dont even drink a glass of wine at dinner. I am usually the designated driver but sometimes I don't last too long because of the smoke....have to sterilize what I have worn. I don't even have a problem with people who drink occasionally...just drunks, and that would be with either sex. | |
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| What do women think of guys who dont drink??
Posted: 12/25/2006 10:05:10 AM | Scattered thoughts responding to issues in the thread.
I'm a "recovering alcoholic". I'll celebrate 16 years in May. Struggling over alcohol has been a non issue for a long time.
I'm not against alcohol, partying or the responsible use of chemically enhanced fun. *I* can't do it; but there are those who can without risk. Have at it!
Drinking or not isn't a factor in who I date. I'd end a relationship with someone I felt was abusing substances. I'd not have an intimate relationship with someone recreationally using illegal drugs (More because I have kids than a belief that pot should be illegal).
Normal, truly social drinking? Fine with me. In fact, I'm more comfortable with that than conservative Christian anti-alcohol inspired abstinence.
It's my observation that people uber focused on what others drink (or not) have issues of their own relating to alcohol.
But, in addition to the other issues recovering alcoholics can have, I find it uncomfortable to have a drink around someone who can't drink due to addiction...and I find it hard to understand why they'd even want to be around alcohol in the first place...so it does make one uncomfortable at times.
I don't expect to change your mind. Your posts indicate a lot of experience with people in "recovery" but who have issues of considerable merit. But it doesn't bother *me* at all to be around alcohol or with someone drinking reasonably. Just the other night, I was in a bar with a date who had a reasonable 3/4 of a drink. I've been out dancing, and informal parties at homes with alcohol. It's truly not an issue.
FWIW, I would not want to date anyone in recovery with less than 5 years of completely sober and clean time, who was active and *balanced* (not using meetings/fellowship as an addiction). | |
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| What do women think of guys who dont drink??
Posted: 12/25/2006 10:13:01 AM | To me, there is a huge difference between a person that
has chosen not to drink, and one that has an addiction!
Some might be afraid of becoming involved with one that
could erupt again, without warning! Many people have
some very uncomfortable memories centred around
addiction.
I have to say, I am surprised at the number of addicts of
one kind or another on here! | |
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| What do women think of guys who dont drink??
Posted: 12/25/2006 10:14:03 AM | I don't drink and would love to date a guy that doesn't I sure don't need another drunk on my hands a beer once in awhile is cool but even us nondrinkers can have fun I don't find being drunk so much fun myself but some do but hey be who you want to be you will find that someone special that loves for who you are.. | |
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| What do women think of guys who dont drink??
Posted: 12/25/2006 10:30:37 AM | I would prefer to date a guy who didnt drink rum..lol
heres my reasoning
Im allergic to it, and cant even kiss a guy who has had a drink with rum in it..and if I do, I turn all hot and red, and get this rash on my body..lol and that is not attractive, or comfortable... | |
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| What do women think of guys who dont drink??
Posted: 12/28/2006 12:21:35 PM | I don't drink often, as a rule. I have an addictive personality, but have the awareness and determination to control myself.
I'd prefer not to be in bars because of the temptation to drink... If I were to drink, I'd rather buy the alcohol and bring it home.. it's much cheaper.
Since I don't drink much, I prefer not to be around people who drink a lot.
Your case is different.. you hang out in bars because you're into music.
I don't see why that should be a problem for a woman, in the situation you described.
Unfortunately, we can't always control how people feel.
I think maybe some people are secretly concerned that they might be alcoholics. So they feel uncomfortable around those who don't drink. | |
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| What do women think of guys who dont drink??
Posted: 12/28/2006 7:00:41 PM | I hardly drink either, only on very special occasions, such as a wedding. Here in Australia, most people drink excessively, so Ive had to really say no a lot over the years.
I still have fun without drinking. Plus save heaps of money.
She must be using the non drinking as an excuse, if a woman really likes you, she will not care if you drink or not. Just face the fact she is not into you.
A lot of people that feel they have to drink are only doing it out of peer pressure. To me it is a waste of time and money and that money could be spent on much more worthwhile things.
Don't drop your standards, when the right woman comes along, she will appreciate that you don't drink - your liver and kidneys will also thak you, good luck mate | |
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| What do women think of guys who dont drink??
Posted: 12/28/2006 7:43:03 PM | | It doesn't matter to me whether a person is having tea, cola...or a beer when I am out. It's all about the person and who they are. But what does bother me is non drinkers who preach superiority to others....like some non smokers who do the same. It shouldn't be about telling others how good you are because you don't partake...but rather being comfortable and sure enough of yourself to not partake and not make a big deal about it. Forcing a non-drinking view on others in a social situation to me is about the same as a drinker trying to force a drink on someone who doesn't partake. Neither is acceptable...and both make the other person uncomfortable. What should it matter what they are drinking? (as long as it's done in moderation of course) | |
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| What do women think of guys who dont drink??
Posted: 12/29/2006 9:29:25 AM | I think non drinkers are the same as drinkers just people having a good time. Whats the big deal as long as no one is getting hurt. In fact we make great reliable friends, cheap dates, terrific witnesses and taxi drivers, what more do you want.  | |
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| What do women think of guys who dont drink??
Posted: 12/29/2006 10:03:23 AM | i have to say when i was a drinker i avoided non drinking men as dates as i thought they were to straight and boring, also you get in this kind of fantasy world and want your partner to come with you and feel like you do. I understand both sides being a recovering alky also. My friends say they have to get drunk to be like me and thats the truth, im natrually weird and happy and ive been known to dance on my own waiting for all the others to get drunk enough, ha i love it but i must confess to having gods green occasionally and thats a different forum. nothing wrong with drink or green as long as its enhancing your quality of life and not controlling it. :     | |
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| What do women think of guys who dont drink??
Posted: 12/30/2006 8:08:37 PM | I personally would prefer one that does not.
I feel then that their actions and their personality
will not be altered or influenced by alcohol any then.
I have been with a drinker in the past a time or two
and then ended up feeling I did not know who they really were. | |
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lobo65
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Joined: 11/20/2005
Msg: 147 | |
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| What do women think of guys who dont drink??
Posted: 12/30/2006 8:21:59 PM | | Wish there were more of you around. I don't understand why people need there crutches to have a good time. I was called vanilla by a guy because I didn't need a crutch to have fun. | |
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lobo65
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Joined: 11/20/2005
Msg: 150 | |
| What do women think of guys who dont drink??
Posted: 12/30/2006 8:26:08 PM | | It usually isn't a problem for me though because I stopped trying to date a few years ago, and I don't hang out at bars. I'm more likely to be found in a bookstore or at the movies on weekend nights. | |
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