| | why do men dump women who are too nice to them??Page 9 of 13 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13) | im sorry but why would you want to be with a slob..... if he carnt look after him self how can he look after you.............and why take him to work at 6am.....
you can be in a relationship and do nice things for each other but not become his servant. | |
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| why do men dump women who are too nice to them??
Posted: 1/12/2007 8:39:31 AM | I would definitly keep a nice woman around, she'll probably will receive more from me than she gives to me.
you can be in a relationship and do nice things for each other but not become his servant. She is being nice to him, nothing wrong with taking him to work.
I would do that too. I would take and I have taken her to work as well. I see nothing wrong with it. But you would say that is because I am male, it's normal.
Isn't that double standard? as usual.
What a world! Equal rights and functions only when it is convenient. | |
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| why do men dump women who are too nice to them??
Posted: 1/12/2007 9:32:52 AM | Because they are too nice to them. Plain and simple. If he had wanted to be married, you two would have discussed it and come to an understanding. He felt hemmed in or perhaps that you were forcing him into marriage. He ran away.
If a guy can't drag his ass to work and clean up after himself, there is something wrong with him. If you forced the issue by insisting on doing that stuff, you've seen what the result is. Live, learn and move on.
I hope you find a good man next time because you seem like a good woman. | |
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| why do men dump women who are too nice to them??
Posted: 1/12/2007 9:40:06 AM | I would be happy to find one who is merely "nice" to me. I wouldn't know how to act if I met one that was "too nice". I most certainly would not dump her for her trouble. I might tell her she doesn't have to try so hard if it actually bothered me.  | |
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| he was a slob on the inside as well as the outside
Posted: 1/12/2007 10:08:23 AM | | he didn't deserve u. that is why the bible tell us not to be unequally yoked. u deserve better and God has a man out there that will love u and apprecate u for the things u do. the man u meet will give back just as much as u give him. that is what i am looking for. i am nice like that too. but at 43 now, i know i deserve more. i will not settle for less. God bless u and i pray god will bring that Man that he want u to have into ur life soon. | |
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| why do men dump women who are too nice to them??
Posted: 1/12/2007 2:06:31 PM | i wasnt saying that its wrong, iv done that myself , but she said herself he was a slob, so if she willing to do everything for him he will just take.
she hasnt said what he does for her just that he a slob
im not saying double standards because you a male......it should be equal | |
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pensky
| | Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 207 | |
| why do men dump women who are too nice to them??
Posted: 1/22/2007 6:30:19 PM | This is an interesting thread to be sure. I don'y see anything wrong with someone doing special, helpful things for someone they feel affectionate toward. Cleaning up an aprtment might be off-putting for someone accustomed to filth, but I really doubt it. I'm accustomed to it at times, but if someone thinks enough of me to help out, I'm touched, pleased and more than anything, grateful. It was a lame excuse for dumping the OP. Makes me wonder how many other generous women he's given a key to long enough to get his place cleaned up.
I've noticed lots of advice about how not to look needy in this thread. I don't know if I'll ever learn my lesson on that one. Seems like when I'm not needy, I'm the one doing the dumping. I'd rather be able to get away with being just a little needy and having someone who's also just a little needy.
It's not as if each of us as individuals has some inherent deficit, while we as the great unknown fish in the sea have it all together--man we're with it, so long as somebody else is pursuing us (and not the other way around). | |
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| why do men dump women who are too nice to them??
Posted: 4/6/2007 10:10:39 PM | wow.....!!! i thought this only happened to guys! the guy obviously has someone else on his mind, or else he would definitely keep you ( i know i would!). you wouldnt be able to spoil me with gifts, cause ive already done that to myself...but to find someone who actually cared that much.......i think that kind of woman is very rare. what i want to know is "why do women break up with a guy whi is nice to them?" it would be cool to hear from you bethy
steve | |
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Ron9
| | Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 209 | |
| why do men dump women who are too nice to them??
Posted: 4/6/2007 10:18:08 PM | "why do men dump women who are too nice to them??"
Well ......... duh ...........
They should not be trying to date their mom in the first place.
(Through process of elimination it had to have been their mom [too nice to them]) | |
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| why do men dump women who are too nice to them??
Posted: 4/6/2007 10:44:32 PM | I'm with Ron9 on this. Act like you're a guy's Mommy, especially if he's young, and you're toast. Would you _really_ want someone hanging around who pretended he was your Dad?
A fun girl pushes the pile aside so she can jump your bones. A "nice" girl finds a way to make it fun to clean up the mess together, or just keeps her own place clean. A "too nice" girl pretends she's your mother by cleaning up after you and expecting you to appreciate it. Hey, if he wanted his place to be clean he would have cleaned it himself.
We are who and how we are. We are not projects for you to reform. And while it's true that the love of a good woman has inspired many a man to clean up his act, that's something that comes from inside him. You can't demand it just because you have feelings for him--just as he can't demand that you put out just because he has feelings for you.
All the best,
Robert | |
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| why do men dump women who are too nice to them??
Posted: 4/7/2007 2:07:02 AM | I agree with you totally, I think it was way to quick to be doing all that stuff for him, maybe he also thinks that your standards are to hi for him. And do you really think that he is going to change from being a slob.
Most of the good men do their own cooking and cleaning, I'am not looking for a maid.  | |
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| why do men dump women who are too nice to them??
Posted: 4/7/2007 4:01:56 AM | | They dump you beacause they feel gulty for taking advantage of you, because that is all any guy does anyway. You continue to be nice to him so he sees he can't take the guilt forever. Be greatful you were lucky enough have found one guy with a conscience. That doesn't happen too often. | |
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ddream
| | Joined: 8/24/2006
Msg: 213 | |
| why do men dump women who are too nice to them??
Posted: 4/7/2007 6:08:49 AM | Ehmm... Don't have a real answer to this one, all I know is that I value someone that is good to me.... A b*tch on the other hand is out the door just like that, no matter how beautiful she is....
But I also do know that I don't like women to do everything and say yes and amen to everything I do.. The yes nodders so to speak, that's also a reason for me not to stay around... A bit of personality would do no harm...  | |
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| why do men dump women who are too nice to them??
Posted: 4/7/2007 6:37:04 AM | I have learnt with time that men are hunters by nature,they like the idea of having a challenging task and succeding,if you are too available they find it absolutely boring...
with me for a start, am not easily available and anyway am really focussed on my job..but i get quality and limited time with my dates...darling you are not his wife yet nor his mama!He does not deserve you,try the next one! | |
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| why do men dump women who are too nice to them??
Posted: 4/7/2007 7:13:13 AM | Most men don't respect someone who kisses their ass.
Especially so soon.
To do so much for someone you make yourself out to be his slave or his tool. You aren't. Don't act like one.
Men do like that kind of treatment, but that sort of treatment is a privelege not a right.
What did he give you in return? | |
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| why do men dump women who are too nice to them??
Posted: 4/7/2007 7:16:44 AM | | I think a balance between active caring and respecting someone's personal space is important, although with men, Im often confused as to what that "ratio" looks like for them...Although I dislike cleaning and think doing that is way overboard, probably reminding him of his mother and feeling controlled in some way, I do enjoy cooking for my man...Early in the dating I like to cook....yes, to impress them but also to show care and affection..We live such stress filled, impersonal live at times, cooking and enjoying a meal together in privacy is a way to bring the familiar intimacy and warmth into a relationship...I do agree with the posters here that sometimes men dont know what to do with that and feel its too much too soon...I guess Im not thinking of it that way.....Im doing something I like and its fun....If you look at it like that, then any potential reaching out to show care to your date can be construed as "smothering"....I can respect and accept that but sometimes I wonder if they dont stay because they dont want to take the time to work thru an uncomfortable situation with an otherwise comfortable person in a comfortable relationship....I think alot of times if they took the time to work thru those feelings cos they care about her, the results would pleasantly surprise them..but then, Im touching upon another subject: courtship and the art of romance..Its a process of give and take and I wonder if alot of guys either just dont want it or dont know how to participate in it.. | |
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| why do men dump women who are too nice to them??
Posted: 4/7/2007 12:07:42 PM | | Why is it that women do the exact same thing? Give everything on a silver platter and then turn around and leave taking the platter with them. GO figure! Like good ladies getting dumped, it happens to the good men also. Not one sided. | |
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| why do men dump women who are too nice to them??
Posted: 4/7/2007 6:36:40 PM | He dumped you because he's seeing another woman and not man enough to tell you. I've had this experience. Take my advice never clean , cook or buy anything for another man unless your sure he cares for you.
Suz | |
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