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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?      Mod Threads Home login  
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 Author Thread: Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
 Billbutler8

Joined: 3/12/2005
Msg: 926
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Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 9/6/2006 1:29:29 AM
I also think it is shallow not to speak with someone who doesn't have a pic. When I see someone post that they will refuse to talk to anyone without a pic, I won't have anything to do with them. It's typically an indication the person is full of pride or is only after looks. Very shallow.


Shallow. Shallow? This is nonsense. This thread is nonsense. What is the first thing that attracts one person to another? We approach people because they are ATTRACTIVE TO US. Period...end of story. How can one be attracted to ...another...if there is nothing to base the initial attraction on?


full of pride or is only after looks.

Only after looks...? Wrong again. We are talking initial attraction. Again, how can someone become initially attracted if there is not even a photo to go by?
And who walks around with and spends time with someone ONLY because they like the way they look? That is plain silly. Many times I am physically attracted to someone and after talking with them learn they are: 1.) stupid 2.) Uninteresting/boring 3.) Fill in turn-off here:________
My point is there must first be an initial attraction. Even if we find someone that is attractive in terms of intelligence, common interests, whatever...if we are not physically attracted to them, then would I want to be involved in a long term committed relationship with them? NO...would anyone? NO, NO, NO...NO! Not unless you are some kind of moron. Look, there are lots of people out there...some we will find attractive, some we will not. The next step after finding someone we are attracted to is to get to know them to see if there is any common interests, and if we are compatible…and a ton of other criteria. It’s not all about looks…but we will only approach someone for a romantic interest if we are attracted to them. I will challenge anyone , especially those without photos on this site to disagree. I’ve read some of these posts, and it is unbelievable what I am hearing.

So, ya mean to say there are people who actually think it is SHALLOW… to be attracted to someone that is attractive to us. Read that again please: “to be attracted to someone that is attractive to us” and again: “to be attracted to someone that is attractive to us”
The keywords are attracted…and attractive. Think about it.

Meanwhile: Hell, no…why would I approach someone without a photo on a dating site…where there is no initial attraction?

 bonzosmontreux

Joined: 8/25/2006
Msg: 927
Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 9/6/2006 2:24:43 AM
I always reply to people, though I would never meet someone before seeing what they looked like and I would imagine those without a pic are going to say they are hot most of the time, this happened to me and the picture I got was clearly a man dressed as a woman! so, you gotta be careful; I think we should all start on a level playing field if you know what I look like it should go the other way too; there's something sneaky about it.......
 fireguy2993

Joined: 4/22/2006
Msg: 928
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Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 9/6/2006 8:31:25 AM
Wow long thread so I didn't read the whole thing, this may be redundant but I'll say it anyway. This is the internet. People can be anyone they want. I could be a 60 year old woman using a masculine login name and post a pic of some schmuck I find on the net. Just because you have a pic posted with your profile doesn't guarantee that's you. The pic could also be from when you were 50 pounds lighter or heavier or 20 years younger. I don't have a pic attached to my profile but have no problem providing one to those who ask. I have my own reasons for not having there. I would be leery of someone who wouldn't provide one if you started talking to them, but to entirely avoid a profile that you find interesting just because there's no pic? That, to me, seems like you are really limiting your options. I'm of the mindset that you can never have to many friends, so even if I meet someone here and there's no physical attraction that doesn't mean that we won't have things in common and develop a friendship.
 funcanadian78

Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 929
Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 9/6/2006 10:58:13 AM
The very first person I met had no pic. He was ok looking but it was his bad boy features that I was attracted to. We where both attracted to each other from the minute we saw each other: we had an awesome night partied and went 4x4 but then he was not ready for a relationship and I have enough friends. I am happy it did not work b/c I would of not met the man I am with now
 Pokahontas

Joined: 6/23/2006
Msg: 930
Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 9/6/2006 3:48:26 PM
I'm not that brave to meet someone without a pic. Call me what you want but I need a pic to put with the voice. Just like breznthunder said, you don't know what you're gonna get when you finally meet that person.

I can understand if you don't want to post your pic on the internet because at first I was the same way but I've talked to people that didn't have a pic on here but they offered to send me one to my personal email add.

So to each his own.
 BigRedPrincess

Joined: 8/31/2006
Msg: 931
Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 9/6/2006 6:51:19 PM
Look no one has made a site for us uglies yet, so we have to go somewhere. And looks aren't everything. Getting to know a person on the inside is far more sexy then looks. You never know unless you try.
 Billbutler8

Joined: 3/12/2005
Msg: 932
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Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 9/6/2006 10:50:37 PM

Look no one has made a site for us uglies yet, so we have to go somewhere.

What are you saying? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Post your picture. There will be SOMEONE who will be attracted to you...but as I indicated in my former post, just because you are attracted to someone, or someone is attracted to you does not necessarily mean you will be compatible...

Also, if you really serious about your statement quoted above VS kidding (not funny, by the way if that is the case), then you , my friend has some self esteem issues going on in which you will be well advised to address and heal from before you will be able to attract the type of person you want.

Just my 2 cents.

--Bill
 southerngirl0719

Joined: 8/29/2006
Msg: 933
Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 9/7/2006 3:59:29 PM
I would.....:) I would give it a try never hurts!!!
 Cheap Trick Fan

Joined: 12/12/2005
Msg: 934
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Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 9/7/2006 4:13:34 PM
Five years ago, people met each other through newspaper and telephone ads. THEY didn't get to see what the other looked like until they met. Most of the men I met looked fine; there was only one who looked like a monster. If they look that bad, you just don't see them again. What's the big deal?
 Bionic Woman

Joined: 4/6/2004
Msg: 935
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Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 9/7/2006 4:42:56 PM
Ya I did ten yrs ago. UGLY AS SIN.
what a liar.
lol
 dorian60

Joined: 9/3/2006
Msg: 936
Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 9/7/2006 4:50:41 PM
Hey boss lady ,
I have a fear of posting a picture because of a situation at work. This guy who everyone teases (who brings it upon himself ALL THE TIME !) happen to have a profile from another website with photo posted . Well one of the guys took his profile and printed it and then photocopied it and posted it all over the station for all to see. placed in everyones mailbox and the amount of humility this individual endured would prompt me to quit !
He didnt and is still there ! tough little guy and takes all the comments that are thrown his way. I am also mortified at how cruel my coworkers can be . My quest for my significant other is personal and how i choose to go about it is just that ...PERSONAL !
I have people who have seen who i am thru what i am typing to you right now and it has been interesting to say the least . I am a firm beliver that one can determine who a potential friend can be by what is placed before them . it is derived from education , intellect , and a concerted effort is put into a reply ,response, request etc that helps another determine who they are dealing with looks can be secondary but there is a shallow minority who just wont budge ...no photo ...no reply. thats ok they have self eliminated themselves.
I also have seen that once a photo is sent that these select few dissappear and others dwindle away and some stay friends ! I am honest and i really despise the horror stories that i hear about what men pull on some of these sites. just the same I have been many a womans victim and one thing that i gather from it all is that it is in the quest for love ! once you have found who you are looking for NOTHING ELSE MATTERS !!
So Back to your query it is done ! and there are those who do and we are not all ugly ,
What is seen is in the eyes of the beholder and that is what kicks it all off !
Gee I think i have vented more than anything !! but thanks for the right question , I wanted to say this for a while !
 Billbutler8

Joined: 3/12/2005
Msg: 937
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Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 9/7/2006 10:53:56 PM
Five years ago, people met each other through newspaper and telephone ads. THEY didn't get to see what the other looked like until they met. Most of the men I met looked fine; there was only one who looked like a monster. If they look that bad, you just don't see them again. What's the big deal?


I never did. And I never would have.



I am a firm beliver that one can determine who a potential friend can be by what is placed before them . it is derived from education , intellect , and a concerted effort is put into a reply ,response, request etc that helps another determine who they are dealing with looks can be secondary but there is a shallow minority who just wont budge ...no photo ...no reply. thats ok they have self eliminated themselves.


You just may as well post an ad in your newspaper...

I imagine you walk into a singles c o c k t a i l party with your eyes closed?

Get real.
 WomanInProgress

Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 938
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Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 9/8/2006 8:11:39 AM
I also agree that at a time when photos were harder to come by in dating services, chat lines, and the like, I didn't like it then nor would I participate in it. I even hate blind dates, someone else's idea of what you might like is almost NEVER the same as what you actually want.

In this day and age, we could just meet random people we've never seen, but with so much modern technology that makes it near impossible not to exchange pics or cams, why should we? Attraction is based on the mind, the chemistry and all senses including sight. Of course you want something pleasant to YOUR individual eye.

Even with friendships, it all comes into play. If you can't post your pics due to personal reasons, you can still e-mail them or use cam. There's really no excuse. It's just better to see expressions, mannerisms, etc.

If you don't post or e-mail a picture, less people are going to contact you. Deal with it. It's not shallow, it's their complete and total right not to want to participate. If you e-mail someone with a pic because you liked their look, you are just as guilty as they are of wanting to see who you are talking to.

All you without pics should contact others without pictures, that way at least you're both in the same boat and have the same starting point.
 tnshadylady

Joined: 4/13/2006
Msg: 939
Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 9/8/2006 11:03:57 AM
I do agree that not meeting someone without a pic could mean you miss out on meeting great people. I only recently got a current pic up by taking a photo of myself in a mirror. LOL! But hey, even that is better than nothing, in my opinion.

If you're just looking for friends, fine. But if you're looking for potential romance, then there definitely has to be some spark of attraction there. That's not shallow... that's realistic. Shallow is only wanting eye candy. Realistic is knowing what trips your personal trigger and what doesn't.

However.... I'd be okay with getting to know someone who doesn't have a photo posted, but for safety's sake I want a recent photo before me meet. That's just common sense. Safety first.

The problem I find is that many MANY guys don't want to take the time to get to know someone online before meeting in person. Some of the posts in this thread talk about emailing and IMing for weeks, even months, before meeting in person. I have yet to meet a single guy online who has that kind of patience. They've seen my photo from my profile, so I know there must be SOME attraction on their part. But without seeing a photo of them, how do I know who I'm dealing with here? And they won't spend any time allowing me to get to know them first.

Shallow?? Puh-leeze.

If you're not going to put up a photo of yourself (and that's your choice) then at the very least you should be prepared to spend some time in emails or instant messaging, so the other person can decide if your personality is what they are looking for.
 Enchanted..

Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 940
Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 9/8/2006 11:16:47 AM
I have found that people who wont put up pics ....and please dont jump on me for this but most... not all ,,,are married or involved ,, God forbid their wife or gf or hubby or bf should happen upon them in POF ....
Pictures are not important to me , however , My guard goes up very quickly when i hear >> I cant show you my pic because i work in the public ....
And one more thing that really p...sses me off is the >>> Looking for discreet times ....Marital statis > Single?????...Hellooo......Why discreet??????? 5 bucks on Queen will give you discreet ;0....
I am happy for your nice date ,,, but would have to ask ...did you ask him if he is a married pilot;) >.Angelzzz...
 fuzzle

Joined: 4/27/2006
Msg: 941
Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 9/8/2006 2:49:52 PM
^^^^^^^ What angelzzz said.... either that or they are playing games.... probably have multiple profiles on here and if you reject one of their e-mails they just e-mail from another one of their profiles......obviously photos would mess up their little shell game....

I just had one guy e-mail YET AGAIN (from a new profile) then delete his profile after reading my reply that I was not interested. I guess I would rather be called shallow than stupid....

If someone is not interested in you, why bother with them, why try to convince them how wonderful you are? Why not just move on to somebody who is interested in you and will aprreciate whatever you have to offer??? Not a difficult concept! Who understands men???
 RosePassion

Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 942
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Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 9/8/2006 3:30:50 PM
I finally put it right there on my profile -- if you don't have a pic, I probably won't answer because in my experience it often means you're married. And if not married, living with someone or otherwise involved. I got sick of wasting time only to discern (i.e., figure out on my own -- the cheater seldom admits it up front) that he was not single. Of course, a photo isn't concrete evidence of single status either. Early in the online game, I wasted EIGHT MONTHS on a guy whose photos, which spanned several years, were utterly gorgeous. I should've been more suspicious that he had no phone because he'd "had a stalker." I showed his yummy pics to a chat friend who said, "he looks just like actor Mark Ruffalo." Long story short, the pics WERE of Ruffalo, I finally found one of the exact ones on his imdb.com page.....sigh....

But I have to say I totally agree with Bill. That initial spark of attraction has to be there; it's not shallowness, it's BIOLOGY, folks! We're genetically programmed that way.
 Billbutler8

Joined: 3/12/2005
Msg: 943
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Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 9/9/2006 2:05:27 PM
RosePassion:

Thank you thank you thank you THANK YOU...geez...I was beginning to wonder about some of these people on here...

I see not much difference between meeting someone online and at a****ail party, dinner party, etc...EXCEPT...and this is a big except...You don't experience the instant chemistry...that you would in person, but I have found with photos posted, webcams...and a couple few emails and a couple phone calls, you can get a general idea of if you are at least compatible...and it's important to see a photo...because you can get an idea of what they look like and you can see if you are attracted...

ALSO...

I have heard from some...(mostly that don't have pictures) is that oh, some put up old pictures...Now, I am not saying this does not happen, but I do feel it is the exception rather than the rule....I have met MANY very nice women on this site...and I can say without any exception...ALL OF THEM Looked BETTER...than their pictures…as most people do.

It has not been my experience at all that I have connected with ANYONE who has posted picture several years old...I have read the posts about this ...but I can't imagine it happens that often...it has not been my experience.

If someone were to put up fake or old pictures...it might be better to use the screening process I use...I generally have them email the original pictures to me...because the POF site compresses them into the small space to fit the page.

I don't always asked for pics to me emailed to me, but sometimes the pictures as they appear on the site are not so clear.

Yes, RosePassion...it is biology, period. As I tried to make clear..."attracted" attractive" same root word. We must be attracted to them...the other (and yes) more important criteria must be there...and even if we are physically attracted, itf the other stuff is not there...then it's a no go.

shallow?

People who say that are MORONS. Sorry for using strong language like that, but. True.
 newtothis9906

Joined: 8/4/2006
Msg: 944
Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 9/9/2006 2:24:47 PM
i met someone with no pic and she was better than i hoped, she couldnt post a picture because of her work, so it isnt always to hide their identity from a partner etc
 bubblypersonality007

Joined: 8/1/2005
Msg: 945
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Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 9/9/2006 2:41:05 PM
Umm no not yet..im still workin on it though..
 Cheap Trick Fan

Joined: 12/12/2005
Msg: 946
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Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 9/9/2006 6:59:10 PM
Why won't the system let you copy and paste your picture into your ad?
 Billbutler8

Joined: 3/12/2005
Msg: 947
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Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 9/10/2006 11:19:32 PM
i met someone with no pic and she was better than i hoped, she couldnt post a picture because of her work, so it isnt always to hide their identity from a partner etc


did she also have the following in her profile as well, like you have?

########################
#########################
##########################
##########################
###########################
############################
 Rocky444

Joined: 3/29/2005
Msg: 948
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Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 9/11/2006 4:52:01 AM
The attraction thing is BS. the girl that I am dating at the moment , we were not tintially attracted to each other and I'm willing to bet you this is more than 50 percent of marriages.
We are in the stage of getting to know one another and she is hot and i am not. So attraction has very little to do with relationships, the ones based on attraction and no substance never last.
 000firefighter

Joined: 12/25/2005
Msg: 949
Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 9/11/2006 5:12:06 AM
I have done it several times ,,never again. To the OP message she only met with the guy after he said he was a pilot,,I bet she wouldn't have done so if he wasn't.I'm attracted to all types of women,but yes there still has to be that initial attraction. On saying that I will go out with any lady on a date,,just to get out and have some fun.
 verdante

Joined: 6/20/2006
Msg: 950
Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 9/11/2006 5:32:48 AM
I think seeing a person's face brings a certain level of comfort. Talking to a faceless individual online is just not that interesting to me, so I don't think I could get to the point of wanting to MEET a faceless individual. Maybe I am missing out, but that's how I'm wired.
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