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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 11/23/2006 5:54:29 AM | | ^^^^^ re red flags. The problem with first impressions (red flags) received by one's mind through the senses have a good chance of being wrong. To make the first meeting really count as a meeting, they should try to get comfortable to talk about real things, not some made up internet BS. The one thing that does suprise me is that sex can come up as small talk. And most people that bring it up can't perform. There is a difference between good sex and domineering and sex abuse. There is a difference between sharing or abusing. Some of the best first meetings I had was when I took a deck of cards along. Sometimes it is just hard to come up with a topic when face to face with someone you have had internet contact but is different in real life. When its hard to break the ice, let a few games of cards do it. | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 11/25/2006 8:09:31 PM | lovely, just ****ing lovely.
You'r response sounded a little more on track though leaving out the fact that not everyone has the tech. to tak a pic. so let's not forget the people like me that d0on't have the means right now. Sorry, I do run big jobs but I don't care to turn company epuipment into a photoshoot to make sure someone can judge me like the cover of the next book they seem to like to read. yes, I'aM AN ***hole. be nice and i play nice.   | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 11/26/2006 1:41:11 AM | I was...never again.
I met this woman on my first introduction to Internet dating in 1997. I was living in San Francisco. She had her face picture posted, a nice one, and saying that she was "athletic" on her profile. She was very nice on our 2 months long phone conversations. She lives in San Diego. After getting very personal and sharing intimacy on our phone conversations she invite me to visit her in her home in San Diego for a cozy weekend. Wonderful! Arriving in San Diego there she was, 5 feet tall, 200 pounds at least. That night I had to hide under the bed in her home and the next day I had to convince her to let me leave to an hotel.....
Anyway...Hidding under the best did not save my inocense..... Sounds funny?...was not.. | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 11/26/2006 8:09:59 AM | ^^^^^ THAT was funny not tha it happened to you (because it happened to me too) but just the way you put it made me laugh.
From my own experiences, 90% of the women think men are superficial and therefor will post their "best pic" even if its 10 or 15 years old, or of when they were skinniest. Likewise 90% of men are superficial and shallow and do the same thing. Most men are visually oriented and have nothing but sex on their mind. the same is true about women. That's the nature of the beast. People can lie their way through it, twist the "reasons or excuses" or try to formulate a respectable excuse for having a pic or not having a pic or the importance of looks of a person, or physical attraction all they want, but it wont change the facts. We are procreating, visual beings, who deal with a lot of pain, anguish, frustration, unhappiness in our lives. We also seek physical pleasures, dont lie about it. Women do too, but women do understand that aside from the physical pleasures, what matters most is something they wont find in a man, and that is a man that is the same way the women are. Men are men, women are women and we are different for a reason.
I read profiles ALL the time, women are doing two things in profiles, Trying to find a man with as many womanly qualities as possible without losing their "manly" characteristics, and contradicting profiles that say something like "Looking for a guy that likes to go out and have fun, or sit on the couch and watch a movie and cuddle". LOL and MANY variations to the same contradicting descriptions.
Women, as a general rule, all things must end in sex for a man. Why? because men have no connection in their minds between sex and love or sex and affection. Sex is an act of gratification to "most" men (their own gratification) and not an act of affection or love "toward" anyone, and that act ends at climax. (there is a reason why I am saying most or 90% because there are always exceptions to the rule, and incredibly small number of exceptions) The sooner women accept this fact of nature, the better their search results will be.
Men, as a general rule, women want a man who is affectionate, compassionate, tender, understanding,
and on the bottom of the list, be good looking, have a good job and can support themself (and quite possibly her too). If you can change nature, and change yourself into that feministic kind of character against mother natures intentions of what a man is, then you are going to have good luck with women.
Men shouldnt change their own nature and women shouldnt change their own nature. We are sexual creatures (animalistic if you will) at our roots. We are attracted to what is visually appealing and pleasing (or we wouldnt have a fashion industry or trends).
Some things we can do to increase our chances at a great relationship: Men, Learn to communicate, and I mean REALLY communicate. Not just act better at listening or pretend like you are actively listening. Women dont need you to "Solve" anything let alone the worlds problems, they just need you to "hear" them and be receptive to them talking to you. Participate in conversations with her EVEN if there is no point, because the POINT of doing it is for her to gain or reaffirm her confidence in knowing WHO you are and where you stand so she can count on you and trust you. Don't fake it, just DO it and you will be surprised at who you are also. This is a neccessary bond women must feel and "know" exists between you two.
Women, Understand that men are not communicators by birth or by nature, we are conquerers and have a need to feel accomplishment every day. We are solvers of problems, and makers of things. We feel self worth from creating things, or doing things. We need an end result (much like climax). We live for the end result, the accomplishment. If we dont have anything to solve or fix or create, we create a situation to conqurer (even a fight or argument) to be able to solve it of fix it. (let me remind you that this is most men, not all as with women)
Dont try and change the other person, work with what you know and LEARN about the opposite sex (and person) and what will be a winning situation for us both is that we will find someone that we work WELL together with in our way of doing things. We dont even have to be the same person or like the same things or have a modicum of commonalities, we only need to know how to accept these fantastic differences in each other and allow these differences to "Add" to the relationship. Knowing how to work with and accept the differences in each of us is the key to a great relationship, not trying to overcome or change the differences in each other.
In a couple posts in this thread people have mentioned "he really thought I was beautiful even after we met" why? Because what he knew of her BEFORE they met made his perception of her outward appearance "beautiful" to him. This is why we really don't need pictures. Needing a picture of what someone looks like? well....we all know the REAL reason for that, no matter how many excuses are made to justify it or force others to have a pic first before you talk to them or consider them worthy.
Excuses are designed to satisfy the teller, not the one its given to.
Rocket
Temet Nosce | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 11/26/2006 3:27:04 PM | Yes! I totally agree to that. If you were meeting for an interview, then who cares what the person looks like. But if you're meeting as "friends", whole different story. Friends can mean a number of things. WOMEN- you have to be careful! Too many crazy guys out there. I met a guy on the phone at a gas station years ago. Really nice on the phone, but gave me the creeps in person. I said bye, walked away, put gas and left. This idiot followed me 10 miles. I was speeding down a 35 mile zone and couldn't lose him. I jumped out of my car and ran to my friends door. He tackled me and tried to rape me before a man came up to him and threw him off. This could of very well been someone from POF....
Pics help alot, I don't care how shallow it is. And sorry men, but there are some pics on this site that are pretty creepy. Unfortunately, he could be a nice person, but we take enough chances already. | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 11/27/2006 4:20:55 AM | Whether your meeting some one off the site the 1st few meetings should be in a public places. Never exchange last names or adresses. Make sure you each have a phone # to contact each other. Coffee is this best thing. Talk to the person don't judge buy looks. Because you could be missing out on a great friend. And don't have your friends show up on the date it's tactless and disgusting. Your better off in saying your not interested. Because people who have their friends show up are total losers!!!!! | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 11/27/2006 4:42:47 AM | Ive had a meeting experience with someone with no pic.
Sorry if some of you may have already read this. Ive cut and paste this from another section of the forums where i originally posted this.
Ive had an interesting first date (only 1 date in this case).
This happened a few years ago.
Been chatting to this girl online for some time. She did display an attitude of perhaps being hurt in the past, or maybe it was an "im too good for most" kind of attitude.
Curiosity did get the better of me.
Although i did send her my picture, i was left hanging onto a description from her.
Description as follows..
Long dark hair
Blue eyes
Big red pouty lips
Big boobs
Will be wearing something red when we meet
5'7" in height
Eastern European appearance
Now i figured this SHOULD be enough to go on.
The date and venue was set for 8pm.
I turned up at 7.40pm just so i could get comfortable and scope the place.
Sat down at the bar and ordered my first scotch.
While sipping on the first drink, i did notice in the distance (next to another entry door) a
girl fitting the description. She was indeed a brunette, wearing a halter neck top, semi long skirt and a (RED) scarf and bag.
She appeared to be about the height mentioned but was too far away to notice eye colour,
or anything else she may have mentioned.
Seeing as i was early, i played it cool and continued to indulge in my drink, whilst looking back occassionally on the girl i had noticed earlier.
She was noticably waiting for someone but it's not quite 8pm so i kept a low profile.
Ive now hit the barman up for a second drink to build up my Dutch courage.
Now being very close to 8pm, i figured it's time to say hello.
As ive jumped off the barstool and taken 2 steps toward this girl, in the corner of my eye (and a second too late) ive noticed and accidently knocked over another girl whom had approached me from my left. As she lost her balance, she has grabbed my arm to regain her balance. I apologised for being careless and then proceeded to make my way to my date.
This girl that had almost gone ass over then called out my name. I had a second and third look. Realised that the girl i had originally spotted was not my date in waiting, but was infact the girl i had almost knocked to the ground.
The reason for my second and third look at her was to try to piece together the description she had given me. Her description was certainly NOT what was standing in front of me.
Well... she wasn't completely honest! A few (i think) important pieces of info missing.
Blue eyes? yes
Big red pouty lips? yes
Dark hair? yes
Big boobs? Hell yes!!
Red attire? Well... if you wanna call red shoes some kind of apparel, then yes i suppose.
A few things she didn't tell me.
She was indeed a big girl. (Nothing wrong with that so dont flame me)
Definitely curves in the right places. Lots of curves!
Now im not a BIG guy. Only 90kg and i consider myself slim to average. There has to be some kind of compatibility, no?
Anyways...
We sat down at a table adjacent to the bar. I ordered a drink for each of us (now my third and needing it)
Our conversation started well. She was showing absolutely no signs of her fiesty attitude.
Our small talk jumped from the weeks events to politics and religion. (i know i know... but it could have been worse)
Over her shoulder and towards the other end of the bar and exit was the original girl that i have been eyeing out. After about 15 mins of chitchat and our 2nd round of drinks, my date had noticed me looking over her shoulder at the other (original) girl at the door.
Things got sour REAL QUICK!!!
Now her true colours came out to shine!
She turns around to see who i glanced at.
she says to me "you wish she was here instead of me don't you?"
What could i say? I told her that during the time of knocking her ass over, i was just about to go over to this other girl and make an absolute fool of myself. haha!
She didn't see the humour in it.
Her stare could have killed!
She then started to rave on about how ALL guys are all the same, all dumping her ass and/or not showing up to dates at all.
After trying to calm her down (she was now making a scene), i did say to her that she should be a little more honest about her appearance, as there are plenty of guys better suited to her than myself. Perhaps a big cuddly bear of a guy would be asthetically better.
She continued to be rude and loud at the bar, bringing attention to our table from all corners.
I did end up calling it a night at about 8.30pm, finished my last drink and got up. At this stage, the original girl whom i thought was my date was also aware of the obnoxious behaviour coming from the "date from hell"
I left my date at the table and walked over the the other girl at the door (wish that was my date) and said to her quietly.. " ermm, as you can see, this is a first date that just shouldn't have happened. Do me a favour.... can we just look in her direction and chuckle a little bit?"
She obliged and we laughed whilst taking a glance at the girl who had now lost the plot.
Not wanting to create any more attention, i wished this other girl a good night and left the bar, never to return, as this bar was a local hang out for that individual.
Never again will i attempt to meet someone without the aid of pics. haha!
Oh God i hope she isn't a member here... | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 11/27/2006 4:55:37 PM | THAT'S EXACTLY MY PIONT STRAYWOLF......no pic...your hiding something or from someone.
Thanx for being so honest StrayWolf
And if you are looking for something meaningfull and real why would you bother with no pic?
Really says alot about the type of person u are not seeing. | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 11/27/2006 5:22:13 PM | | Meh I met someone with no pic just cause I was curious they had an amazing profile and where fun to talk with via the telephone. Turned out the girl was gorgeous and just as much fun as her profile was. But life is about taking chances some ppl are more willing then others and if you choose to meet someone with no pic make sure you meet in a well populated area and tell ppl where your going just in case you can never be to safe in that regard. | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 11/27/2006 5:23:09 PM | | Here is a little different story on the same subject. I chatted with a guy on line for maybe 2 or 3 weeks, then we talked on the phone for another week or so. We had a common interest in cycling and he seemed pretty knowledgable about different tours etc...I ask for a pic early on and when he didn't respond I didn't even think anything about it. So, we agreed to meet at the local mall for dinner. I arrived at the appointed time and waited and waited. After a half hour it suddenly dawned on me that it was possible that he could be anywhere watching me...he had seen my pic and I hadn't seen his. So long story short I got a little nervous and found a cop to walk me to my car. Well, when I got home there was a message from this person saying how sorry he was he wouldn't be able to make our date the following night. Just to be sure I hadn't made a mistake I looked thru our emails and sure enough I did have the right day and time. I emailed him of my suspicions...never heard from him again. What do you think??? Should I turn him in??? Maybe it was just an innocent mistake. He is still on site, checking his mail frequently. Anyway, my new rule is NEVER consider meeting someone without seeing a pic first. It may seem shallow, but better safe than sorry. | |
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Flear
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Joined: 5/7/2006
Msg: 1143 | |
| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 11/28/2006 1:03:31 PM | pic or not, ...
mabey it's just me who would, or could, look past the pic, the profile, the self-description and see who the person realy is and what they're after.
then again, most people either don't believe in psychics or are scared of them.
it's still suprising to me that so many people are only able to judge by what they're told and naive to everything else. | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 11/29/2006 12:44:52 AM |
After a half hour it suddenly dawned on me that it was possible that he could be anywhere watching me...he had seen my pic and I hadn't seen his.
If his sole intention were to watch you without your knowledge, and since it's so simple to send a fake picture, how would having asked him for a photo have helped you? | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 11/29/2006 10:59:14 AM | MIZZWILDTHANG Said :
And if you are looking for something meaningfull and real why would you bother with no pic?
Really says alot about the type of person u are not seeing.
it says only what you want it to say, which has nothing to do with what the person is or isnt saying by not posting a pic. Just to prove my point, not posting a pic might be someones way of "relieving you" of the temptation to judge them by their looks first. As I have said before, people that need or require a picture of you, are judging you based on looks first, or looking for an attraction based on physical characteristics.
MIZZ, If a picture was so important, or looks were sooo important, how the hell do blind people get along in life, fall in love and end up with healthier relationships than people who have eyesight?
I know..lets ask Pam Anderson...she was only married 4 months this last time before filing against Kidd Rock. I bet she will tell us ALL why looks are important. | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 11/29/2006 5:21:06 PM | I have only met guy's with pic's .LOL They never look like they're pic so why disappoint yourself. I don't have a pic but I would be glad to tell you how I look. If you read my profile it say's I am very honest and that it even get's me into trouble. It doesn't matter to me if they have a pic or not. I must admit though that I am sometimes in ahurry and just looking at pic's. It also say's on my profile must be fit and good looking but yea right like they are. One guy's froont teeth were missing. LOL | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 11/29/2006 8:46:14 PM | I have. Beats meeting someone w/ a pic who doesn't even look like the pic. the beauty of the person is inside-how they treat you. their beauty outside is their energy that makes them the kind person they are - photo or no photo. age, like looks is secondary to chemistry.
I don't show my photo. no one has been disappointed, and i have been asked to be seen by them again after we met for coffee. i have been told they would not email me or would wait for a photo, so i move on to the other plenty of fish. i have yet to go out with someone who looked like their pic, who were "6 feet", etc. this is a process and it does not work unless you meet someone - pic or no pic. just be sure they are not married, just like someone with a pic. no photo can weed out the shallow perverts. | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 11/30/2006 4:19:12 PM | iRrocket ......
You so totally did not get what I said...reread my last post.....hellooo..the pic is not about judging a person by appearence.....
its about BEING AN HONEST PERSON...with nothing to hide..... GET IT!!!
its about seeing a twinkle in someones eye...that no one else sees....
its about do they look happy AND WERE A BIG SMILE? or like an old grump...
someone else also mentioned ..creepy.....yes that will show in pic too
SOME OF MY BEST FRIENDS ARE DAMM BUTT UGLY...but they may have the sweetest smile in the world... just because ...sometimes u can't even explain what makes a person attractive....
Do u get it yet? ....NOTHING TO HIDE
P.S. so far I have only seen one good reason here ...your job...eg.police officer, and we all know not everyone here without a pic is an officer & a gentleman. | |
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