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Flear
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Joined: 5/7/2006
Msg: 1151 | |
| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 12/2/2006 3:00:23 AM | your right, nothing to hide, ... i don't have anything to hide, ask me anything and i'll tell you a strait honest answer, but you have to be accepting of the answer, otherwise don't ask.
anyway, your right showing a pic of yourself is about having nothing to hide.
so why would i want someone who would judge me who is about as open to see my character and personality as a rock. and while your making all kinds of judgements about me and filling your mind with what kind of person i must be without ever spending any time to get to know anything about who i am as a person ...
then again women are more into judging by looks and appearances, men like looks and appearances, but if we're serious, we're also serious about getting to know those women.
so do you want to insist it's about honesty or are you going to sick back and claim you need something to base attraction on. i've never met any women under 50 who were capable of understanding the need to see something more then the importance of visual attraction. they'll argue till blue in the face about the importance of looks, then when confronted about it try to back up about how it's not all that important, ... right about the same time they have no interest in getting to know anything else about you.
not personal dating experience, just experience talking with people about the importance of such visual aspects in judging a prospective partner. ... the women are always so much more insistant on the value of looks not about wanting to be 'honest', but just about the value of looks.
am i hiding anything no, am i beyond discusted with this manner of judging people, ... oh ya. | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 12/2/2006 6:31:55 AM | | well i did not meet the person ..but we had chatted....told him i was going downtown to a club..told him if he seen me to say "hi"..he seen me alright ..told me who i was dancing with ..told me i was hot...but did not come up and say "hi"..kinda creeped me out that he was watching me ..and i did not know who he was ....needless to say he was taken off my messenger pretty quick ... | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 12/2/2006 7:31:03 AM | I myself respond to ads with no pics because I know that there is always this possibility that you may pass someone up that will knock your socks off with his eyes or with his smile, or his touch. Let's face it, when it gets down to it, we, with any good sense know that looks are really not everything. But at the same time, there are some appearances that do not appeal to all of us. So I will talk first, to see if there is any substance there, that is most important. Then if we seem to click, YES! I do want to see who I am talking to and it is usually mutual. Alot of men do state that they will not respond at all to anyone with no pic.
I have met several who flat out lied about their looks, age and position in life. There was one guy who had a pic like a male model and I told him he was too young for me. He confessed it was taken when he was in his early 30's. He was 63.
Another looked too good to be true, handsome as all get-out and in life, he really was...but he was a stupid-ass as well!!
And then there are the ones, that make this on line stuff a life-style, fo meeting women just for sex, that are married or seperated with no intention of getting a divorce. Some of them are honest enough to say so, up front. Some of them do not post a pic because they live in small communities and they do not want everyone to know their business. Some of them, like myself, have to be careful because of professional boundaries, cannot end up dating clients. One guy really blew me away with his intelligence and sweetness and then as he gave me bits of information about himself, when it came to his name...well, he had an unusual name that made me gasp! Oh my God! It was an indigent client that I knew well, who had no ambition to take care of his business or even his health! So all along, he knew who he was talking to as my pic was posted , but I did not have a clue! So be careful, folks! | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 12/2/2006 8:19:33 AM | DON'T DO IT!!!
I tried living on the adventurous side a couple of times and let me tell you, I could keep you entertained for a while with 'those' stories.
Of course the worst one actually DID have a picture and 'she' turned out to be a "HE"  | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 12/2/2006 8:25:59 AM |  Hey FLEAR.....I just read your profile.....TOO FUNNY TALK ABOUT STICKIN YOUR FOOT IN YOUR MOUTH!!
How ironic...you reallly don't get it either...really don't. You say u are open about yourself? What is that ..open about everything exceprt your picture? you say u don't like secrets... well where's your pic then? Or does that just go for the rest of us?
And by the way when I turn the supposedly majical 50 ...I m pretty sure nothin's going to change here ..it's just a number.
CARMELLA00..... had some real good pionts... I agree totally ..
A guy could be hot as hell...but have no charm at all or just simply be an ass..
Women are not all stupid...looks won't cut it...in many areas.
Then theres the whole internet lyfestyle thing.....ya who wants to be known as a SL**
And yes NICENEWF.....kinda gives them an edge if u do agree to meeting like that....personally I would even think of it ..there that's another reson why
Maybe it's more about your attitude.....FLEAR....BETTER DO A CHECK UP | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 12/2/2006 8:52:54 PM | | Before I ever did "online dating" I responded to newspaper ads or I would select dates through the phone ads. Ninety-nine percent of the time it was not a good experience at all. There's a good chance that in my not so long lifetime I've probably met about 30 people or more through newspaper ads or phone ads which means no picture was available before the first date. I even met up with the same person twice in the course of 2 years without meaning to and both times I was not attracted to him. He didn't recognize me from the first time but he made it obvious that he was attracted to me the second time around. Basically, there has been no physical attraction with 99% of the guys, men, or gentlemen that I have met "blindly" so to speak. This lack of attraction has been in spite of a great phone conversation and some kind of connection over the phone. One guy turned out to be 47 instead of 37 and about 80 pounds heavier than he said. I was 20 years old at the time. There was one guy though (that 1%) that I did find hot and whom I dated for a while but because of drastic misunderstandings we did not stay together. I think when one is meant to cross roads with another person, romantically in this case, a way will be found and no obstacle will be too great, not even the lack of a photo on the PoF profile. | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 12/3/2006 8:12:52 AM | What a crock of bs, the picture thing is obvious to see if you think they are good looking. No matter what if the guy or girl reeks of confidence, wit the fact online dating is so much about what we look like, that is the basis of if a woman or man will get back to you or not when a message is sent.
Sorry but even if I didn't have confidence or I was exuding confidence, the fact is I am not what most women call attractive, suc is life. Looks plays the biggest part in dating today. Most will believe that the person is so nice and so great because of how attracted they are to them by how they look. Is why so many people also enjoy putting on fake acts and playing them.
I endured razzing from co-workers at my last job when a couple of people happened to be checking out the site I was on. It does get annoying sometimes to hear it. Ya they may have acted immature but not every workplace is going to have amazing mature people working there. So that is why alot of people choose not to publicly display their pic. Yes they should send you one when you are talking more often online. | |
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Flear
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Joined: 5/7/2006
Msg: 1160 | |
| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 12/3/2006 1:29:25 PM | mizzwildthing ...
i think "the champ is here" got pretty close to what i was saying.
well close anyway
if you want looks, then go find some guy who is about looks.
i want something deeper and more meaningful, and if the women out there are shallow, superficial and materialistic to only judge if someone is worth approaching based on looks and appearances from a distance, without spending any time getting to know who the other person is inside, if your only going to judge by looks and take no time to find out who the other person is inside. ...
then i guess i am missing the point, i guess i don't get it. and if you want to look down on me because i feel there is a very important reason for judging people based on their morals and personality, then by all means, continue looking down on me.
so if you can't understand why i don't show my pic upfront, it's because i don't want to be judged on my looks as the sole means of who i am.
if your that shallow to pass up those without a pic. and if your that shallow to judge people only by their pic, ... well i don't want anything to do with you.
as mentioned pics can lie, and so can people about their profiles, take a few moments to say 'hi', to find out if they are genuine, ...
but to do that you have to be interested in who they realy are as a person, not just if you want someone who will only be around in your life so long as they make you feel good.
relationships are about 2 people living together, not just making you feel good. if you aren't able to find out what makes the other person tick, then your stuck finding someone based on their looks, and what they tell you vs. how naive you are. (there pic & profile)
i don't support that mentality | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 12/3/2006 6:51:58 PM | Hey CHAMP! Don't be so hard on yourself .....your one of the better lookin guys here ..least we can see your face. Don't forget Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What is beautifull to me may be but ugly to you...that is my whole piont...
Well flear...
The reason I would not chat with or date someone like you would have absolutely nothing to do with u not having a pic here...no matter even if you were the biggest Hunk here..
It would have everything to do with your inability to read and comprehend what I have writtin here..and again ...attitude. I don't need a pic to see what kind of person you are....bullheaded and confrontational....
You probably have many reasons not to post a pic ..here... End of story..... | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 12/4/2006 3:26:28 AM | i prefer ppl wit pics because
-if shes hot she will want to show it off usually
-odds are its not a stalker cause its a real pic
-my fav reason why bother waistin ur time meeting somone u dont know i mean indeed u want to get along good oraly but sexual attraction is vital in a realation ship so ur eyes  dont start to wonder.  | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 12/4/2006 11:29:34 AM | Why yes I have. Everyday. Called life!
Every person you meet is a potential something or ruther ... friend, lover etc.
As for this site ? I have met quite a few people in person from on here.
But they have always been group gatherings of fish so the stress level was not there.
Some people looked like their pics, some didn't. So what?
Have fun people! | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 12/4/2006 2:26:24 PM | Yes, I have, and don't see what is the problem with that! After all, even if you meet someone with a pic, how would you know he or she is anything beyond the pic if you don't ever meet him or her! A certain amount of fear and trepidation in getting to know someone for the first time is natural, but one's life should never be ruled by fear, even when there is some justification for it!
I can understand someone being afraid of taking a chance on someone, but nothing is ever gained in life, even love, without doing so, and this is coming from someone who has been burned in love before, both by persons with pictures, and those without. And some of the best relationships, even those that did not end in love, have been with persons who's image I never saw before I met them for the first time. And, by the way, the woman I am referring to, whom I met here at Plentyoffish, hadn't seen my image when she met me here, because I don't have one here.
For what it's worth, at times I have found these online dating sites to be not much more than glorified photo galleries anyway, when all the persons whose pictures you see are not much more than cowards anyway, who are so scared of taking a chance on love that they won't step out of their comfort zones enough to go after that they claim they want so badly. I realize that this sounds a bit mean and angry, but I must admit I don't have much respect, or patience, with people who talk a great game, but won't do what is necessary to play a good game also.
I apologize for the tone of this reply, but not for the attitude behind it, because I believe it in my heart to be right. If you want love, stop talking about it and do something about it. Take a chance; you never know if you don't try!!!
Happy holidays to all who read this, and may love provide you with the greatest Christmas gift of all!!!
BufordJ | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 12/5/2006 1:41:37 PM | I'm really glad MIZZ doesn't have a pic of herself though I gather she did at some point. But I am glad I didn't see it, because I might have been blinded to what she is really about. I read the profile, and I couldn't stop laughing. Obviously someone who didn't take their education seriously which her spelling and grammar are testimonial to, the blatant contradictions of the statements in her profile, someone who definitely needs a picture or has to "see" the person first before she gets involved with them backed up by two statements in her profile about chemistry(which we all know is a poor mans excuse for sexual attraction based on physical appearances) and "I want a man who is BIG & STRONG, TALL, DARK & HANDSOME" at the very top of her list. Then she sys she is not judgmental, which we all have seen to be not true both in her profile and in her posts. (btw..the word is "maGic" not maJic)
"Never was one for dating , BUT I do want to be in a relationship again. Not sure what kind I want at this piont." (and yes I do know the difference between a typo like the word point and illiteracy like the word magic) This is a fine example of someone who doesn't want to put forth the effort to get what one wants. She would rather skip the work and just get the big, strong, tall, dark and handsome guy hopefully just handed to her evident by the statement "I WANT A MAN who can chop wood like a SON OF A B*T*CH. Fix my truck when it breaks, is the best shopper in the world, and cook like a gourmet chef." so that again..she doesn't have to do any work.
"Someone I can be best friends with FIRST" ----this isn't born from relationships based on looks. What you mean is... if he is good looking first, then I want us to be best friends second.
"SOMEONE WHO MAKES ME A BETTER PERSON." ---No one can make you who you are, or make you a better person, or make you a criminal or make you an angel. Who you are is totally and strictly up to you and no one else. It's no ones job to make you anything. It's no ones responsibility to make you happy with yourself or make you happy about life, or make you a happy person at all. You are either happy with yourself and who you are already, or you are looking for someone to do the job for you. Personally, I wouldn't want to date anyone that isn't happy with themselves and about life already and I sure wouldn't expect them to want to date me if I wasn't already completely happy with myself and enjoying life.
I believe that someone I find special enough to want to marry, would be a union of each others happiness and character and personality which is discovered through dating, becoming friends and building a bond, trust and then being in love with each other, which has nothing to do with looks.
"I do not judge on past history ,just on present. " ----as opposed to present history? or that you only judge on the present? Never mind it's still judging, something you say you don't do.
I laughed so hard, that I have to thank you, however, because I had a rotten day at work and though I tried hard to hide it and be cheerful until I got home, some co-wrkers still suspected my frustration and wished me a happier eveing. Their wish came true (thanks to your profile) and I am thankful for them and their wishes.
Now, I wouldn't normally have gone to such great lengths with this post Mizz, but you keep telling others in their posts (including myself) that they don't "get it" or "understand" what you are saying. But in truth, their comments DO validate that they understand your posts, and not that they aren't getting them. The simple fact is, you "need" and "require" a picture to validate talking to or approaching someone or being their friend, and they don't. I give kudos to Every single person on this thread that has stated they have dated someone or met someone from POF or any other online site without a picture because they were willing to take responsibility for their actions, whether it ended in success or failure. For "some" people , Mizz, they require a picture to feel some sort of guarantee or maybe just a better chance at success before they make the effort to get to know someone, and that's just sad.
I for one have dated many women who didn't have a picture and I never asked for one, ever, because I don't care what they look like. Their words, their thoughts, their compassion, their passions, will tell me everything I need to know about them (much like your profile's words) and there are just some things about a person, that looks (no matter how good looking) just can't make up for in them.
For people concerned about meeting someone they have never seen (blind date) there are many solutions. My best suggestion is for both of you to bring a friend, make it a group setting, and sociable, and have your friend and his friend exchange descriptions of each other or even pictures if they don't mind. This introduces a much higher level of security as well because it's a great deterrent for people of ill-repute who might have less than honorable intentions, meaning your friend is now involved in the meeting and so is his.
Something I have done that works well is plan to meet at some public place (we decided a very popular dance club) and a time (we decided 8pm), and I asked her to show up at 5 after 8 and come to the bar and a drink will be waiting for her. I got there at 8 ordered two drinks, sat her drink on the bar at the seat directly next to mine and place a simple 3x5 card against the drink that said "This drink is for <her first name> Daytona". I made up the last name and told her the full name that would be on the card so that not just anyone with the same first name would mistake it for their's and approach. It wasn't the drink she liked but it doesn't have to be either, it's just a cute little icebreaker that works and serves a purpose of locating each other. BE creative and have fun with the first meeting. It will make a difference.
Will I date someone without a picture? Hell yes. if they don't have a picture, does it automatically mean they are hiding something or just flat out dishonest? Hell no. That kind of thinking is what dishonest people have. And I hate to repeat myself because you didn't get it the first time, there are many reasons for people not to have a picture, it doesn't mean they are being dishonest, and they don't owe you an excuse or a reason. You are going to assign whatever you feel is the truth to them (being dishonest) no matter what their reason is. If those people feel you haven't earned a reason, then good for them, because you haven't. Do they owe you a reason? Hell no. Does not responding to you or defending your taunts for them not having a picture make you right? Hell no. The only reason you are saying they are being dishonest by not having a picture, is to make "yourself" feel good about yourself, and maybe cast aspersions on their good character before you even know the person. This is what we call making the mediocre you into something you aren't by putting others down to give the impression you are above them.
You have a testimonial that says you are a wise woman.....sorry..I just don't see it.
Temet Nosce | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 12/5/2006 5:51:51 PM | hi how are you all life is freakin great i dont have a pic and the one ladey did not eather but we started to talk on hear then on msn and my cell and we know go for coffey and what ever lots same with a few more so yea a pic dont matter to me happey times to all   rock on pleanty of fish | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 12/9/2006 7:25:47 PM | haha yea i did one time...for some reason we connected very well..and when i got there(coffeeshop)..he was there hiding in the crowd and i had no clue it was him...i thought he didnt show..but in fact the entire time he was watching me...and to tell you the truth..when he came up to me i was infact INCREDIBLY pleased..he was yummy..but..that was probably very lucky..i dated him for a few months...then he joined the army and we still talk..but..ive had men post fake pics..you take your chances no matter if they have a pic or not :)... | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 12/9/2006 10:26:23 PM | This is why a pic is important.............maybe u will get it now irocket
Author Thread: America's Most Wanted features PlentyofFish on its show tonight (12/9/06)
Mr GB
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 1
view profile
America's Most Wanted features PlentyofFish on its show tonight (12/9/06)
Posted: 12/9/2006 10:02:08 PM
I see that PoF has finally got its 15 minutes of fame. Just been watching America's Most Wanted on Fox Channel 11 where a murderer was caught because he had a profile on here.
strawberryca
Joined: 3/11/2006
Msg: 2
view profile
America's Most Wanted features PlentyofFish on its show tonight (12/9/06)
Posted: 12/9/2006 10 51 PM
Good job, POF!
I've seen a local Pedophile with his profile on here, but because there are age requirements for joining, not a lot I could do to report him. (He's been convicted at least twice of sex charges, male and female).
Haven't seen his mug here in months, so maybe he's locked up again.
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 12/9/2006 10:49:32 PM |
I'm really glad MIZZ doesn't have a pic of herself though I gather she did at some point.
She does have one available for all to see. Just try voting on it. (nice picture I have to say)
I've met many people off this site that did not have a picture up. All meetings worked out nice. But then I'm not looking for a partner, just friends. | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 12/11/2006 6:01:17 AM | | To Begin With about a year ago I was emailing a lady that lived about 100 miles away from me,we where talking and I'M each other over a period of time.she had no pic posted but I did we seem to be getting better and better at knowing each other.I'm Retired and she worked as a manager of a wendy's in the city where she lived.We would go on and on about how we both lied oldes music and the during one nite we agreed to have a date due to her being off that weekend.We meant at the Comosphere.which is about half the distance between where both of us lived.I had purchased some flower's and had already purchased the tickets for the show's.We shook hand's and went inside,After the first show we had some time to waste,befor the next show so I showed her around the Campus.I had went to College there.After the tour we went and got something to eat,then headed back for the next show.we spent the whole day together,During the day I wanted to reach out and hold her hand but held back cause I didn't want to crowed her,we said good bye and headed back to our own city's about three week's later we agreed to meet and go Rollor Skating,InWichita,Again we both drove our selves to the place to meet,after haveing Skated for three hour's we went out to eat at a pancake house it was then that I some how Started to feel like she was using me so she could engage in flirting with not only other males but also with other wemon,Then I kinna knew she was BI.Later that month I drove to the city where she worked and gave her ths copy's of the Pictures of us Skating.Then I Informed her I knew what she was doing when we where out together,And she admited it.End of story I never seen her again.I believe that a picture help's some times but not alway's.Thank You For listening to my story.I been wanting to tell it for long time now.Even if one has to post a younger pic of themselves it's generally OK.We all want to look good to other's but don't forget to tell the other that pic is of you hen you were younger!!!!See Ya Dolittledandy | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 12/11/2006 6:12:55 AM | Well...
I have only just started this online dating thing. But... here is my take on this:
No picture...at least you are sending messages back and forth with someone who is misleading you.
I just went out with a fellow... he posted a picture of himself atleast 10-15 years old. and easily 70 lbs lighter.
I would rather have honesty.
When I chat with someone from now on...I will always as how old the pic is etc. | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 12/11/2006 6:13:33 AM | Well...
I have only just started this online dating thing. But... here is my take on this:
No picture...at least you are not sending messages back and forth with someone who is misleading you.
I just went out with a fellow... he posted a picture of himself atleast 10-15 years old. and easily 70 lbs lighter.
I would rather have honesty.
When I chat with someone from now on...I will always as how old the pic is etc. | |
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