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*Illsa
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Joined: 10/10/2006
Msg: 1201 | |
| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 12/15/2006 6:43:05 PM | I meet lots of people...and I only posted a very recent photo of me here...lol...you see, it is because I am extraordinarily ugly with several warts that have hairs growing out of them, I have a terrible disposition and equally awful personality. I have a heart of stone and you really wouldn't want to know me...ever...I look exactly like my photo...really...I do | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 12/15/2006 6:57:41 PM | After seein some really great posts and feeling overwhelmed by some of you, I must say that by far, *Briteeyes* post has sincerely moved me.
I hope you and he keep in touch, I feel a promising encounter between you.
Best wishes to all
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 12/15/2006 7:13:18 PM |
I don't even talk to people without pictures
Yeah well i dont talk to pictures without people.
So this guy walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender hands him one, the chugs it back, looks into his pocket and orders another beer. The barkeep hands him one which the guy swigs back and looks into his pocket and orders another beer. this goes on and on. After a dozen beer the barkeep is curious. He asks" ive been watching this ritual of beer and looking into your pocket, what exactly are you doing?"
The guy looks up and says (and this is for you my dear that needs a picture), the guy says "well in that pocket there is a picture of my wife, and when she starts looking good, im going home!!!" | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 12/16/2006 9:39:36 AM | I have and have been disappointed. its not about being shallow its about knowing who and what types of people attract you. I need to know who I am talking to.
that being said I dont post my picture as my main picture so I canhave some kind of privacy lol
cheers | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 12/16/2006 2:34:27 PM | I have met people without pictures before. Obviously it does not go well when they really misrepresent thier looks because if htey would do that about something they know they can't hide, what would they do behind your back?
I met my ex whom I dated for 7 years and all he had was a picture of when he was like 6 on his ad. We talked for about a week straight before meeting, and getting to know him first and then growing to like him as a person first made the first date so much more special.
I hate to sound superficial because I have met many people online that did not spark an immediate interest based upon attraction to thier looks, but if most of them worked out as dating candidates, I wouldn't be here. They made great friends because of common interests we had talked about before, but the spark was still lacking in person. I don't think it is necessarily bad to want a picture because there are some things we have learned about ourselves over the years, and we are just saving some time if we cut out the ones that we know are absolutely not the type we could ever be attracted to. | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 12/16/2006 8:36:23 PM | I think it's funny, after reading thru all 49 pages of posts here, that one thing is more evident than anything else (which I will get to in a minute)
I have a pic in my profile and many other places on the internet (some of the websites I master) as well as public records that contain a pic of me (Ga Dept of Fire and Safety Inspections, International Association of Fire Fighters, to name a few) and anyone so distrusting and insecure that had any brains could easily cross match my photos and put their fears at ease. While you are busy doing that, I have already moved on to someone else without issues. The point being, I have been defending those who dont have or use a picture in their profile. Why? Because it simply doesn't matter what they look like and I have heard better, logical, mature, solid responses from those without pics than I have from everyone else with pictures. Could some of them be decepetive? yes, because that is true about ANYone. This brings me around to the opening of this comment.
It simply doesnt matter if someone has a picture in their profile or not because in ALL the posts of this thread and many other threads on here and other dating sites, it's not about the person not having the picture. It's all about the person LOOKING for one. I have yet to see one post from anyone that is honest enough to say something like "I am looking at pictures because I want to feel a physical attraction first". Every other "excuse" for why you feel someone SHOULD hae a picture is nothing more than that, an "excuse" to make yourself feel good about why it bothers you that someone doesn't have a picture posted.
Here's a clue, if you have such a huge issue with why someone doesn't have a picture in their profile, stop using online dating sites and go back to the old school of standing face to face with a stranger at a nightclub or bar or bowling alley or church or wherever, and so that you are never confronted with talking to someone you cant see. At least we will all know you are honest enough with yourself that you will be talking to someone you find "physically attractive" first and dont have to hear all the excuses why you wont talk to someone you cant see. Also, I guess it escapes most people that we live in a shallow, visually oriented society where how attractive someone or something looks is how their attention is captured. Otherwise we wouldnt need to market our products and ourselves thru fashion and visually pleasing schemes to sell something. EVEN these dating sites have FAQs and TIPS and helpful hints on "how to make your profile more attractive and pleasing" which equates to misleading thru a marketing strategy. Why do we "flip through" a magazine or catalogue? the honest truth is not because we are looking for the fine print, we are looking at the pictures and for "key words" to grab our attention, to cater to our visual senses and pleasure. Lets just be honest and face it, people without photos of themself, "are not" marketing themselves thru the shallow/visual senses. SOME will be just as deceptive as those with pictures, but a con artist by any other name (or picture) is still a con artist. Don't blame them for your inability to identify them or getting caught in their game. There is a con artist in every market and every venue, lets just accept it.
Why do I have a photo? because it's extremely useful in weeding out those I have NO interest in talking to. If I hear "Great pic" or "Nice photo" or "you're sexy" or "God you're ugly" without EVER getting to know me, then my pic has just saved me from wasting an extraordinary amount of time with you, because in the end you will be as shallow as your opening statement, or as we call it in the world of BS, your "Hook and Bait" compliment. I am willing to bet, people with no picture in their profile get the GOOD compliments that MEAN something, like, "You have great philosophies" or "You have great morals" or "you are an incredibly smart and funny guy/gal" or something like that. It might even be something as sweet and simple as "I REALLY like you".
Temet Nosce
Rocket | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 12/16/2006 10:20:46 PM | First .. Rocket ...
I have to compliment you on your post ... I skipped around thru a few pages to get some insight as to how the majority of people feel (I'm VERY new to this  ) ... but your post was one of the most intelligent thought-provoking posts I read. (to anyone of similiar quality ... I mean you no disrespect ... I just probably skipped the page your post was on  )
Now for MY post ...
As a new member, a woman, AND a person with no pic online.
Do I consider myself to be an attractive woman ??? Yes ... and the complimentary looks in men's eyes do much to validate that ... but there are also men that 'do not' find me to be to their liking ... just as I am certainly not going to be attracted to every man "I" see ... and no one should expect realistically 'to' appeal to everyone ... we ALL have our individual likes and dislikes ... it's a matter of personal preference, not 'quality'.
I happen to have waist length auburn red hair ... a man that prefers blondes is definitely not going to be able to look past all this red hair if he simply 'must' have a blonde ... nor is someone who likes that 'pixie' waif look going to find me attractive ... just as there are certain things "I" desire in a man.
My Irish and German heritage means my skin is very fair as well as sensitive to the sun ... so no 'tanned beach babe' here for that man wanting a surfing mate ... but I'm not going to ENJOY the same things he does, so it makes no sense to even 'want' his attention ... let him find a woman who truly suits him
My point is ... there will ALWAYS be those who 'do' and those who 'don't' find this or that person attractive ...
Having your pic online, or not is a PERSONAL DECISION ... it involves MANY considerations ... most of which have NOTHING to do with deceptions. One of my reasons IS the whole 'fear of the unknown' thing ... pics just do not 'always' have to have ANYTHING to do with your appearance ... there is a big issue of privacy ... I live in a fairly small CONSERVATIVE East Texas city ... AND, as a Sheriff friend and his wife cautioned me when I told them another friend had convinced me to try this site ... "and exactly how many six foot redheads with hair down to their azz, do you think we have here ???" THAT really got my attention ... sooo, no pic ... and until "I" feel at ease with actually 'meeting' a man ... there won't be. If that is 'enough' to make him 'move on' ... so be it. The man I give my heart of hearts to will be made of a more discerning character than to be attracted to a 'picture'.
JUST BE HONEST ... THAT is the REAL issue ... we ALL have our warts, much as we would like to pretend we don't. I thought about this for over a week before I did it ... and I came to one final conclusion that made up my mind to try this ... internet services like this are giving people the chance to get to truly know a person BEFORE anything on the physical level 'filters' your view ... you get to take your time and really learn about each other ... from the heart ... BEFORE physical attraction is part of the relationship ... a modern day version of the 'old time' matchmakers or arranged marriages.
IF you take your time ... the lies WILL come out ... they ALWAYS do in day to day life ... 'this' is no different. The difference is ... when it becomes an issue that you are aware there is a problem with honesty ... which means they have no integrity as well ... it's easier to walk away.
Just MY opinion on the whole pic or no pic ... if I have offended anyone, I apologize for that ... but not for my belief that pics should just not be the 'reason' you try to get to know ANYONE ... even a new online friend.
Have a Very Blessed Day
Lace | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 12/17/2006 4:30:35 PM | Yes, I have. I was extreemely glad to find that she was one of the hottest people I had ever met! Unfortunately, by the end of the date I ended up figuring out that everything she had said about her own personallity on line was all fake. For crap's sake, she was talking about going out to meet one of her guy friends in about a week. Needless to say there was no second date there. Now that I'm in the opposie position though, people all act like I'm some type of weirdo because I don't have a pic. Whatever happened to finding out about a person's appearence upon meeting them in person? Are people really that skittish?  | |
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| Rocket
Posted: 12/17/2006 11:00:25 PM | Can't answer emails suddenly, Admin is trying to figure out 'why' ... until then, no more carrier pidgeons in the water for me :{ ... a 'diamond' ??? Maybe a rough cut LOL j/k
Blessings
Lace | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 12/18/2006 1:13:45 AM | | Yes, I have had a good experience. A guy added me to his favorites list and sent me a greeting and had no pic. I was like you, kinda cautious, but we kept emailing and he sounded so nice, then we started IM'ing and that went well, then we talked on the phone, still no problems. I agreed to meet him at his work (how safe is that?). He was really cute and great fun. We will definately go out again!! | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 12/24/2006 4:06:50 PM | Wow..... quite a contentious issue you raised Bosslady! Here are my two cents, it's a matter of choice .... my personal preference is a profile with a picture. I've run into hostile attitudes from men (on this site and others) when I requested pictures from them if they sent me emails without profile pictures. I was accused of being shallow and worse because of my request. Again, it's just my personal preference to see a picture.
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 12/25/2006 8:41:55 AM | I agree with Chime - it's an isue of preference. I wouldn't discount a profile without a photo if I like what it says but I wouldn't meet someone without a photo, especially if I have mine posted. Although what the person says is much more important than the photo, that's why I don't have a "type" but I also think there has to be some mutual attraction and chemistry and hope that it translates in a real life meeting.
I don't know why this topic produces such strong feelings in people. I understand some people do not want to post their photos online for various reasons (live in a small town etc) but if you contact someone or reply to someone who you are interested in and who has a photo, you shouldn't have to be asked to produce one. Long winded description of yourself is subjective. Beauty is ultimately in the eye of the beholder - Give people the option to make an informed decision.
My two cents worth and merry christmas to you all - must go see about my turkey now.
Cheers
EV | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 12/25/2006 2:31:44 PM | I did. This was long ago like around 9 or 10 years ago when digital pics weren't very common. It was someone from one of those online chat rooms. She seemed like a nice enough gal on the phone so I said we should go meet up for a drink.
A friend and I met her and her friends at a bar where the lighting was intentionally quite dim (to set the mood in the place). So anyways we chatted it up and decided to head off to another bar. My friend had a convertible and I was in the backseat with her and one of her friends. So at a red light under the streets lights was where I noticed all of these bumps on her.....Like EVERYWHERE skin was exposed (not on her face though); her neck and arms were covered by hundreds of these bumps that kinda looked like enlarged mosquito bites. I was like AAAAHHHHHH!!!!
I think it must have been some sort of disease or something. I have never seen whatever it was that she had. So we got to the other bar and went in. Before we ordered any drinks I had my buddy go and see for himself. We disappeared fast and I had a looooong shower at home.
It was definitely something she should have mentioned beforehand....deceptive for sure. | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 12/27/2006 3:48:02 PM | Well. I did it once.Guess it was interesting, She wrote and was forward enough to catch my interest..Wasnt sure what I was getting. She assured me she wasnt a bad dream, I normally dont do anything with out a pic, but did anyway must have been having one of those weeks.
Met at a coffee shop on Sunday went to a arts fair after and all went great for year and half,
then it all came to a close....Besides getting engaged and going in that direction. It finished on a bad note she had different agenda regardless of what we or I thought was all too good..but to say It couldnt have gone the same way with aperson with a picture would be crazy.
Its all Kharma you get what you are trying not to get,,
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 12/27/2006 5:31:20 PM | I have read almost everything on this thread... All I can say is that I am confused...
I do have some proper pictures that I send to those that correspond or are interested in me...
I am somewhat of a public figure in my area and I would like to keep my private life... well just that private...
I have noticed that I am much more visual than I thought... I have had the experience that men who do not post pictures, and this happened,... it means they are married... (Not all, but many... )
Some do not post for their own personal reasons... I will respect that... but... still... If I send my picture... an honest one... would it not be just courteous to do the same?
I did agree to meet a man without a picture... "How do I recognize you?"... He said to look for a man with a black leather jacket...
Do any of you have any idea as to how many men out there have black leather jackets!!!
A lot... I am not kidding...
Anyway... I prefer a picture... a recent one... I know.... I know... bad bad woman... blah blah blah... | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 12/27/2006 5:56:40 PM | | I never put my picture on for a very simple reason. iam fat and old. I think for pretty woman to hide their pictures and than meet people online is a great idea. Same for guys. people are shallow. i was on another dating site long ago and i had no picture. I put my friend's picture who happens to be my boss as well very attractive and all of a sudden my mailbox was full of emails from girls. So it is shallow in some respect. But it is human nature. Once again i love the forums on this website. | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 12/28/2006 1:15:00 AM | I truely believe that everyone is entitled to their opinion .....People with no photographs usually have a reason for not posting their picture..that was a fair statement to say but then to add...They could be married or still in a relationship and do not want others to know. They could also be full figured.......the truth will come out...and i truely believe that because no pic is posted isn't because they are hiding anything .... yes before you say it....i have no pic on my profile for my own reasons it's not to hide anything i even say in it that i have a pic and cam available ....so does this make me a bad person that you wouldn't want to meet due to no pic being on my profile???????All i ask is don't assume the worse or judge anyone for not having a picture.....it doesn't make you a bad or better then anyone else who does have a pic .... and if i got talking to something that didn't have and pic and was interested in meeting him/her then i would.... it wouldn't be based on what they looked like in order for me to meet them.....
just my two cents ...
love the forums
and yes i do read profiles .... gotta occupy myself some how on the nite shift  | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 12/28/2006 1:17:40 PM | A few years ago, while on another dating site, I answered an e-mail from someone who had posted a photo of himself in which he was too far away. He was just a speck; I couldn't tell what he looked like, so he might as well not have posted a photo at all. I took a chance, and I was surprised too. He was hot -- tall, athletic. Unfortunately, the few dates we had didn't lead to anything serious.
If I like what the person wrote in his profile (and the other stats look good) -- with no photo (or a bad photo) I'm willing to take a chance.  | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 12/28/2006 9:26:19 PM | I actually met a guy online without seeing his pic we talked on the phone and I fell in love with the sound of his voice and his sister and her bf who he was living with both told me not to worry he was nice looking. We talked on line and ended up meeting he had seen my pic and liked it but I hadn't seen his.
Met him at the bus stop because he lived in TO and I knew right away it was him and he was very nice looking we dated all summer and ended up moving in together in the fall of 2005 we are no longer together but that's cool
basically sometimes it's good to just go with your instincts | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 12/28/2006 10:10:52 PM | Spiderwoman Nailed it!
If I can reveal myself then others should also, no one else is anymore imprtant than myself.
I cannot stand the saying " Don't worry" Oh yes I should worry when they tell me this.
Problem I also have ran into is when they have no pic and I get a response they want to email it to my personal Addy, I used to let them, Not any longer. I do not want to offend anyone but they are very unattractive men.
Now I do not respond back to people without a pic. I post mine they are recent I want the same and not some 1982 pictures.
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