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poots
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Joined: 10/21/2006
Msg: 1251 | |
| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 1/7/2007 12:54:26 PM | I met a fella after several weeks of really funny IM chatting. Looked forward to the date with great anticipation. One look at each other and we were both completely put off by the other's looks. I hope I wasn't as obvious as he was. We spent an incredibly uncomfortable hour together, him looking mostly at the floor, me trying gamely to ease the situation a bit. No doubt, we were both glad when it was time to take him to the ferry (I live on an island). I sent an email later that said, 'Well, I guess we're not each other's type.'
Chalked it up to experience and forged on. Never again.
I have been very shy about posting a photo until recently, but always had one ready to send. Trouble is my face is much funnier in person (in a good way), and I always have a 'deer in the headlights' look on a photo. Such is life. | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 1/7/2007 2:20:29 PM | and there you have it...even into one's mid 50's..its still about looks...........
1252 posts later......its still about looks......
the year 2007................its still about looks.......
Dinner for two at a nice restaurant - $75
Drinks and dancing and having a good time at a Dave & Busters near you - $50
Finding a woman who is turned on by who you are and NOT by what you look like - PRICELESS
Technology grows by leaps and bounds exponentially .....then there is humanity.
Casu Consulto | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 1/7/2007 3:02:00 PM | I refuse to put a picture on any dating site. If the ladies on here are that shallow, well its their loss not mine. I have had the experience of a lady sending me her picture on yahoo and when it was time to meet she told me the pictures she sent me of her were not here. I was very disappointed and have refused to put a picture on since. I still don't know what she looked like but she had a real picture of me. To top that off she was married and she lied about that also. If the woman wants to send me pictures or put them on dating sites then that is her choice just like I have the choice not to put one on.
By the way I am easy on the eyes | |
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poots
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Joined: 10/21/2006
Msg: 1254 | |
| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 1/7/2007 4:44:06 PM | and there you have it...even into one's mid 50's..its still about looks...........
Actually Casu, I think in this case it was more about 'expectations' than looks. Clearly we each had a picture in our mind's eye of what the other looked like. Perhaps had we met without that clouding the real view, the results would've been different.
I find almost any face, enlivened by intelligence, humour and warmth, attractive. | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 1/7/2007 5:20:30 PM | I agree with you Spider. I would really prefer to see a picture of someone, and a recent one at that! Depending on the site you are on the selection may be slim to none with a pic. You may just look at a profile without a pic and find it rather interesting. Some of the women I have met with pics though are totally different looking when I see them in person. It's almost like they need a sign hung around their neck with their name and maybe the pic they posted on the web site! I'm not picking on you girls, because from what I am reading, men are just as bad. I hear the same lame argument all the time that say people are shallow if they need to see a picture. This usually means that the people are overweight, look 10 years older than they say they are, and like you said Spidy, they may be hiding something. I know there are exceptions to every rule, but we are not in the days before computers now. Does anyone remember when you would look through the newspaper's "Personals" section? Talk about fishing; you never knew what in the world you got.  | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 1/7/2007 8:01:16 PM | | your one lucky dude im still having trouble gettin one to talk to me and its discuraging after awhil it seems the more i trie the more shallow you ladies get sure i aint got the best grammar in the word or evan the univers but at least i trie and i dont think im goin to give up and im a good hard workin man that just want to come home and have a conversation whit someone cuz i never imagined living allone would be so damn cold when your new in this project but annyways you ladies need to be a lil more open to us guys the more your ignore us the lower our self esteem gets | |
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poots
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Joined: 10/21/2006
Msg: 1258 | |
| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 1/7/2007 8:26:48 PM | Matt - I just took a look at your profile. It's strictly a personal preference but, I would not connect with a guy who posts pictures of other women. I interpret that as 'not serious', 'a player', 'too much competition'.
Also - no matter how much rejection I face, I will never whine about it on a profile or forum posting. No one's going to contact you for a date because they pity you.
Put your best foot forward, let the women know you have something to offer. | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 1/7/2007 9:04:44 PM | | Not only do I need to see a picture....but I need to see him on cam...just to make sure he looks like his picture. This is because one guy I met, him picture was taken 10 years ago and he was actually 10 years old than what he put down in his profile....which made him look 20 years old than the picture I saw...... | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 1/8/2007 1:04:45 PM | Jonnie4u
I hear the same lame argument all the time that say people are shallow if they need to see a picture. This usually means that the people are overweight, look 10 years older than they say they are, ... they may be hiding something.
That's kinda funny...sorta.....a little bit....ok no it's not...but.... You should read a little bit first Jonnie, because I have defended people who dont want to post a picture of themselves or the family dog, or their neighbors and anything else you feel they should do to make you feel better, several times in this thread. And I do have pictures, and they are less than 6 months old even though they suck as far as picture quality goes. But the point being, I don't, and no one else, gives a damn about any of the peer pressure tactics visually oriented people use to get others to post their pic. Including that lame assumption that people must be overweight and 10 years older than they say or are hiding something because they dont have a picture posted. I would think someone of advancing years as yourself, would have the intelligence level to understand that just because you arent privy to "why" people do something, doesn't automatically make you right in your assumptions. And for someone of advancing years as yourself, I would think you knew that visual orientation is a character trait of the shallow mind, however, you just became a great example of being shallow regardless of what your picture looks like. No one has to defend themself for not doing what you THINK they should do.
I'd have to say, you are one lucky guy Jonnie, that you weren't born blind or lose your site at some time in your life, because if you had, according to your reasoning, you would be one sad, lost individual trying to figure out who is worth talking to without being able to see a picture of them or see them at all. As well, you might as well totally give up on ever being in love or having a relationship if you were blind. And for that matter, since you wouldn't be able to see what anyone looks like from being blind, then everyone in the world just became overweight, 10 years older than they say they are, and are hiding something from you.
No offense Jonnie, I respect all people of advancing years based solely on their age alone. (sarcasm intended) See Jonnie, it may be an issue of looks in this thread, but in reference to my comment about age...it works with ANY particular topic (age, looks, color, gender, etc)
It must make people feel good to persecute and oppress others that dont do what you or the general public thinks they should.
Do I think its brave to meet someone with no pic at all? No. I think its an act of being non-judgmental, open minded, open hearted, compassionate and allowing others to do as they please without trying to take that away from them by ridiculing them and making yourself look better by belittling them.
Temet Nosce | |
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poots
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Joined: 10/21/2006
Msg: 1263 | |
| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 1/8/2007 6:22:00 PM | Oh Lordie, is 54 really considered 'advancing years'. I thought that was the over 80 crowd. Irocket you're breaking my heart.
Seriously though - part of what makes 'chemistry' is how that person you're lookin' at looks. For sure it's not everything - intelligence, humour, shared values, etc. etc. is all part of the package, and the parts have to fit together in a congruent way. But the visuals are a powerful part of that.
I think we ignore that at our peril. I would 'dress appropriately' for any situation - the office, a party, a date, a hike. Is that shallow? Not to me.
I had to screw up my courage to post a photo, but, in truth, anyone who sees my photo and contacts me anyway is telling me that he's open to connecting on some level with an interesting-sounding, unusual woman - because a looker, I ain't. Especially in photos. So to put in a photo is helping to pre-sort the field. Maybe.
One thing that strikes me is how quickly some people get judgemental and angry. Whew, what's that about? | |
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10K45
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Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 1264 | |
| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 1/8/2007 7:28:06 PM | Poots, I've heard and read various views about profile photos. One person suggested that if there were very few photos, there was a greater possibility that they might be pictures of someone else. If I were to post photos of someone else (not that I would), they'd presumably be photos of someone better looking. That mine are not, might indicate authenticity, I think. I simply have very few recent photos of myself. (Anyone who wonders about the cat's photo, know that it's relevant to my profile text, and yes, there are photos of me.)
I met a PoF contact who's got no profile photo after she added me to her Favorites, and I emailed her etc. We know some of the same people, so I wasn't insecure about meeting. We agreed to meet at a specific time and place, and having recognized me, she waved from across the street, so I knew that it was her even before we were close. Her appearance is very pleasing and consistent with her description; she's declined to post a picture for reasons that are personal, which I accept and respect (and won't detail).
If statistics regarding profiles with or without photos are accurate, it makes sense for me to post a photo, just as it makes sense for her not to do so for her reasons. Anyone who's been misled can legitimately complain, but broad generalizations are rarely helpful.
For me, seeing a different photo in My Matches or Favorites gets my attention, often causing me to reread a profile and see revisions. Anyone who doesn't post a photo can't attract attention by changing their main photo, but it's their decision to make.
To the OP, my agreeing to meet had nothing to do with bravery. We all take risks, but the truly brave take risks on behalf of others. I met the lady for myself, and I'd gladly meet her again.
Lawrence | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 1/8/2007 7:44:19 PM | | I met my ex-husband online and he had no pic, so I had no idea what he looked like before we met. I have also talked to someone else on another dating website and he doesn't have a pic on his profile either, but once we started talking on yahoo messenger he shared pics of himself with me as well as let me see him on his webcam (fully clothed of course). He is the hottest guy I have seen on the net. Even better looking than my ex-husband. He is a really great friend who gives me advice when I need it and we have talked on the phone. Some of our conversations have gone from late afternoon until about five or six in the morning. We have plans to meet, but just as friends. I'm still looking for the one, but I want someone who wouldn't mind being friends first and seeing where things lead from there and taking things slow. | |
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poots
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Joined: 10/21/2006
Msg: 1266 | |
| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 1/8/2007 10:46:37 PM | Clearly there is a wide range of views here. We have different comfort zones and preferences. To each his/her own.
Though I prefer a photo, and make some decisions based on appearance, I am currently enjoying email communications with a fisherman who does not post a photo. It's quite mysterious... | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 1/9/2007 8:19:21 AM | | I met a man without seeing a pic first and it was better than I had anticipated. We chatted several times through the pof IM and I asked for a pic but then figured I didn't need one. He was teasing me about being shallow and, never considering myself that way, I wanted to prove (to myself more than him) that I am not shallow and that my instincts are good. There was something about his communication style that felt right. It was comfortable from the beginning. He was articulate, amusing, thoughtful and, as bosslady points out, intriguing. When he picked me up for our first date I knew my instincts were right. Looking forward to more dates! | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 1/9/2007 10:29:51 PM | | I havent met anyone from here but i use to call this chat line all the time and met some guy's some werent all that appealing. But this last guy i just started seeing turned out to be hot and had a great personality i ended up with the whole package. You just have to take your chances. I mean maybe your soul mate is suppose to be drop dead gorgeous. | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 1/10/2007 6:22:57 AM |
...I meant to say maybe he's not suppose to be drop dead gorgeous
Freudian slip. They are supposed to be drop dead gorgeous, but only to you. It's not that simple. You have to be attracted to someone you're going to date (or consider dating). | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 1/10/2007 6:54:55 AM | I've met a few people that didn't have pics and that had pics over the time that I've been on here - and honestly it was a mixed bag.
The ones that had pics very rarely resembled the pictures that I was privy to. The ones that didn't have pics seemed to be a bit more humble about their looks (ie. I'm Ok-looking, but they were quite attractive), and were a nice surprise. Of course then there were those that described themselves as "HAWT" and when I met them it seemed like they got hit with an ugly stick that was being swung by Mark McGwire a few too many times (I'm being honest here - not trying to be rude).
I'm no model myself, but then again I also have a picture of my big toe up. Which is my humble attempt to try and break down the stigma that goes with pictures being the all-defining reason why a person is considered to be "beautiful". | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 1/10/2007 1:51:02 PM | OldSchoolQueen
It's not that simple. You have to be attracted to someone you're going to date (or consider dating).
Is that how that works? oh ya..if you base even talking to someone on how they look before you approach them, my bad. OH wait, it's that semantics game, you meant "good looking" attractive, not attractive in the non-visual sense.
I see many "pretty people" in this world, but seriously, looks dont cut it with me. I'm not a "pretty people" but I dated some really gorgeous women when I lived in Daytona Beach for a little over 6 years. The problem that I ran into, without fail, was that their outward "hawtness" was summarily destroyed within only a few minutes of them opening their mouth.
If I am going to spend the rest of my life with someone, knowing full well that looks change by natural causes (age) or by accident and dismemberment, then "looks" aren't even on the list of qualifications. "Things we have in common" are on the bottom of the list because diversity and uniqueness are what I enjoy most. I don't want to be bored with "you" in 5 years, and I need someone I can have a conversation with and discuss things that are important to us. Someone that is going to be the other part of the invincible team. Things that last a lifetime don't come from looks.
Temet Nosce | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 1/10/2007 3:18:15 PM | After reading many of the responses on here it's amazing how people are still so shallow when it comes to getting to know others.
I met a gentlemen without having seen his picture nor asking one question about his looks, height or weight.... WHY .... because after many conversations with this gentlemen not only on line but via phone I knew that I really liked this guy and most impotantly he could make me laugh like no other. I have never had a hang up on ones looks. You could be the best looking guy in the room and the minute you open your mouth and your attitude shows... to me you are now the ugliest person. I never have judged a person by their outside appearances, it's what kind of person they are on the inside that makes all the difference to me..... always has and always will. No I'm no drop dead gorgeous model, but I'm about as upfront and honest as you'll ever find and you'll always know what I'm thinking.
To finish my story about the gentleman I met for dinner without the slightest idea of what he looked like...... he's a very handsome man, well built man of 36 and we have been on many dates since.
People need to learn to see what's inside and stop judging by the outside. Looks are VERY decieving!
Good Luck in finding what you are all looking for. | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 1/11/2007 9:47:15 PM | I think that you should also know what someone looks like for safety's sake.
Talk with them on web cam to see if they are honest enough to post up to date pics on their profile.
Then give their pics to a friend just in case there is a worst case scenario. | |
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