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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 5/9/2008 7:37:15 PM | Those who refuse to provide a pic have something to hide. I'm sure we've all heard the same lame excuses:
1. For work purposes, I can't post a pic (yeah, so? send one by private email)
2. I am not computer literate and don't know how to send one (oh puhlease. You were able to create a profile yet you can't figure out what most 6 yr olds know? - there are tutorials all over the internet on how to do this.)
3. "I am very attractive, you won't be disappointed, I promise!" (uh huh)
4. "I don't have a digital camera." (so? go out to wally world and buy a cheap disposable film camera, take some pics of yourself or have someone take them of you - then go to one of the many many photo places and have them upload to a CD or their website for you to download)
5. "I refuse to show a picture because I want someone to get to know me for my personality and not my looks." (uh huh) | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 5/9/2008 8:05:33 PM |
Why I do not talk to people with no pics:
-- it is not fair for them to see me and me not see them
-- if they end up being a creepy stalker I want to know what they look like
-- when we meet people in real life, we see what they look like
-- I am here to find people I am attracted to... if I do not know what they look like then I do not know if I am attracted to them
-- worst case scenario: they do not have pic cause they are married/have gf and they do not want their significant other to see them using dating services
PLUS: I put a great deal of myself out there, I think its only fair to share something with me. Why were they initially drawn to my profile? Lets be real.
-Its not always traditional looks. There may be something no one else sees that I see as sexy or attractive.
-There is a great deal you can tell about a person from their surroundings, their eyes, their personaly style, their hobbies, & lifestyle.
Now if someone is extra creative or sweet? I will talk to them. But before we go to the trouble of meeting I think we both should have an understanding of of who we are meeting.
Yes you can put up false pics. You can type false information. There is enough risk involved anyway. Why not try to make it as comfortable as possible for each other? And why is that shallow? I don't consider myself shallow matter of fact I know I'm not. I have been involved and married to a gentleman that no one I knew could understand what I saw in this person. To others he was "Large", to me at the time he was a "cuddly bear." It is just in the person that contacts me individually. I'll assess it. If a guy has NO PIC and a 3 LINE PROFILE what am I learning about them that tells me anything about them? And they say check my profile and see if you are interested? In what a "person who likes the beach"? I will ignore that. What does someone expect to get with that?
Not shallow. I suppose I just prefer to sniff my peanut butter before I buy it.  | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 5/10/2008 8:59:57 AM | | Yes, it was a awful he was about 10 or more years older than he said. I had talked to him on the phone was ok then. Buy wjen I actually met him, it degrading every thing was about. Very sarcastic and really hurt my feelings. He had money to, but means nothing to me it the guy is not a great one | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 5/12/2008 7:14:26 PM | Hell, I might have better luck w/out a photo
I did meet one member sans photo, she was local. I might not try someone who was long distance sans photo, it may show a lack of investment, and they might just pull a no-show.
anyway, we met, couldn't find one thing to do together out of 5 suggestions, and I figured that was a good sign we weren't compatable.
I prefer a photo, its easier to meet in public a complete stranger when you have an idea of who in the crowd they are  | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 5/12/2008 7:28:50 PM | Well I met my boyfriend online and I was the one without the pic for pretty much the same reasons your guy didn't have one. It was interesting to me because we messaged eachother for about two weeks and he didn't even ever ask to see what I looked like! When he asked me to meet him I agreed but couldn't help asking why he'd never asked what I looked like. He said looks weren't everything and he really enjoyed talking to me. Now keep in mind I knew what he looked like and he's pretty good looking. Anyways I'll never forget the look on his face when I approached him where we were meeting and introduced myself. He got this shocked look on his face and his mouth dropped wide open followed by the biggest smile I'd ever seen. It still makes me laugh when I think about it. Later when I asked him what he'd been thinking when he first met me he said that he was thinking he was really happy he was willing to talk to me without a picture. lol. | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 5/12/2008 7:33:58 PM | Yes, I've met several men whose pictures I did not have. But, it wasn't until after we had many conversations and I felt comfortable doing so. I always meet in public, during the daytime and, driving my own car, having received his name and phone number and given it to a friend...just in case.
There was no spark, and they were nice men. However, I didn't ask and they didn't tell me, but they were HUGE men...not fat...but MORBIDLY OBESE. I'm not attracted to a man that size.
Now, on the other hand, in most instances I do have a picture of the man. If he does not have one posted on his profile, he usually sends me one in his follow-up message. In a few cases, the man who arrived at the meeting place was SEVERAL years older than he looked in his picture. Those meetings were not successful either. Because he was OLDER?, of course not, we ALL age (and I'M USUALLY THE OLDER ONE)....because he misrepresented himself or lied......and, to me, dishonesty is a definite deal breaker.
My most difficult task now is, not to blame the next man for what the last man did. It's not easy, but every man is different and I want to give him the benefit of the doubt.....
Just my thoughts...
KK | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 5/12/2008 7:42:25 PM | "Don't worry I am not ugly".............. If I had a dime for every time I have heard a woman with no picture say THAT............ So, O.P., you thought he was cute (yet you hadn't seen a picture yet of him?) Yeah, I know you meant "cute" from his chat, etc., but still.......Most women will not give a dude the time of day unless he has a picture on here. Yet, on the same token, women EXPECT for a GUY to be "o.k." with a woman not wanting to post a picture............What is UP with THAT? Why the double standard? For the record, I have met quite a few women who didn't have a picture up and the first time that I've seen what they looked like was when we actually met. Generally, I also must say, it is usually a disappointment to say the least. I will no longer meet someone without seeing fairly recent photos of what they look like first. While I may consider myself attractive, someone else may not find me that way at all. That's life. Same goes with women. We can't be everything to everyone. We are very visual creatures, again, that is life. If I don't have a photo up I don't expect a woman to take my word for it that I am decent-looking or whatever, so it is not fair for a woman to expect me to extend such a courtesy to her. What's fair is fair. From now on, if you have no pics, there will be no meeting. | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 5/12/2008 7:48:13 PM | | Yes I have met a lot .. looks are not everything..besides half the time the pics on here are so bad or so old that they don't look like their pictures anyway... then there is always the identity theft thing .I rather email a few times before I send a picture.Most men prejudge a woman on her picture and I don't think thats right..they never say how are you just oh send me a picture..the ones that don't like your picture are ugly as sin anyway.... | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 5/12/2008 7:48:25 PM | I did- it was explained to me that, though he was not involved, one of his major employees was; unbeknowst to him (the employee) his profile and pic were posted in restrooms, on assembly lines, etc. . . and my contact couldn't be in that position; that major employee ended up leaving the company!
We met on a rather providential 'date' - where he seemed to be my mate and I, his ; though there are several challenges we must meet before becoming "mates", this man is worth EVERY effort . . I remain enthusiastic and hopeful!!! | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 5/21/2008 4:59:35 PM | It's interesting how everything old is new again -
When I first was online(late 90s), people had to email attached pictures and you had to hope the recipient's computer would open them. Then came embedded pictures and profile pictures. I met a few people without pictures and it was a pretty respectable 50/50 mix of good and bad.... FYI, the most attractive woman I ever met online never had a picture and still doesn't.
After coming back into the online friendship/dating/socializing thing last fall, I posted a bunch of pictures figuring that it would cut out the first stage and posted on three sites. Everything was fine until I attended a conference with a few HR types from my company.
The topic of this conference was about using online social networking sites to find out more about potential new hires. I was almost shocked to see that the presenters used all of my little "tricks" to determine a person's personality, real motives, etc... Just by reading a short profile, looking at a few posted pictures and reading guest comments. Of course one of the questions was "On ------ site, you can make your profile private" The presenter then showed how you can "track" that person over a couple of days and still gather information by using their main photo, their "mood" icon and the little statement that some people post every day - That is viewable by everyone! The presenters then mentioned that "You older people who don't use these sites, don't think you are immune... If you are on a dating site such as m.... (she then mentioned 3 popular sites(not POF, by the way), potential and current employers can find out a lot about you.
The last part of the presentation explained that a lot of employers would not take the time to use these tactics but when it came to management and high salaried professional positions, it may see a lot of use.
It took me a lot of thought but after a few months, I decided that I was better to play it safe so I deleted all my pictures and put up a new profile(In case you were thinking - "All lies now, eh?" Nope. I just changed it so it wasn't immediately recognizable). I'm not ashamed about being on this site but I have a tendency to become quite opinionated on these forums and talk about topics that I would NEVER bring up at work . As far as being paranoid or too cautious - I originally thought that until I realized that no less than 5 current and former co workers are either on the sites I am on or have posted comments/adds on an unrelated person's site.
The moral of the story - Don't convince yourself that only the hideous or deceptive do not post pictures. When I have talked to someone a bit, I may exchange. | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 5/23/2008 3:25:43 AM | | Been there done that, Never had the first problem. But, Then again, I am not a shallow person. I out grew that a long time ago. There are a lot of pretty women out there but that doesn't make the woman at all. What makes the woman is who she is and what she is. Outward beauty is just a shell. Once you crack that shell you may find something you don't want to be around. So yes, I have met women with pic's and women without pics and honestly, The women i met with out pictures were the most genuine. Not all the women i met with pictures were self centered. But a lot of them were. Not one woman i have met from this site and others without a picture was one bit self centered. Average maybe, But sweet and kind. | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 5/23/2008 5:49:51 PM | | No pic..I ask why and if I find their reply plausable...maybe. But most of the time they are in the middle of a messy seperation/divorce or they are married or otherwise in a relationship. Want to avoid shallow people? Get off the planet. | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 5/26/2008 10:17:58 PM | No, I have not and will not for several reasons...
If she turns out to be unatractive "to me" and I can't get past that, how would I be able to tell her thanks but no thanks without hurting her feelings? And that is something I like doing to anyone. There is no good way to decline further communication or meeting ift you can't get past the looks....other then some lie. And I do not like to lie about anything.
No, that is not being shallow. It is logical to me. Physical attraction is usually, not always ,is the first reason you are even the slightest bit interested.
If she calls me shallow for not wanting to corrispond because of no picture, well there is a red flag right there. It is usually those that know or feel they are unattractive that lean on that shallow line. They hope someone will be interested in them regardless of their looks.
They might be a great woman in many ways, but if you can't get past the looks, it's just not going to happen. I am anything but shallow. But like it has been said over and over, it is a choice to find a lady attractive to you before venturing any further.
My profile gently asks a woman to have a picture or please do not write. Guess what.....The don't read that and write anyway.
Makes me wonder what else they missed in reading my profile. I read, re-read and devour a woman's profile before I will write. I want to be sure that it is not just her face or body that drew me to her. I want her to know I read her profile and feel we might have reason to communicate. But the looks are usually the best starting point.
If they have a good reason for not posting a picture...and there are some, then by all means SEND one when you write. Saves us both from being in an uncomfortable situation. | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 5/26/2008 10:31:18 PM | In my opinion, that is shallow. Do we base what our heart will feel on what someone looks like. I give everyone a chance, to get to know the inner person - you may be surprised at what you find when you tear away the wrapping,.
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 5/26/2008 10:33:38 PM | I think your comments are rather "shallow". Don't you know it's not how a person "looks" but rather what the whole package is? The whole world is consumed by weight/looks/breast size/hair extensions, etc. etc. Give me a break - get real people
after all, that's what we are - people - and all are different (thank god) | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 5/26/2008 10:37:49 PM | I talk to alot of people without a pix but I think I would have to have one if I was going to met them if for no other reason but to know him when I seen him.
Now I have a great one for ya all, on the very first contact with this guy he tells me if I want his pix. that I have to mail him my address!! Of course with the way he told it he would be alot more than good looking.haha
So of course I just him my address right then.hahaha NOT
Would anyone else give out your address on the first email? | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 5/26/2008 10:45:52 PM | Give me a break - get real people
after all, that's what we are - people - and all are different (thank god)
Fishin - I think you just answered your own question....Yes, we ARE all different....that allows you, too , to do it your way.
KK | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 5/27/2008 2:11:14 AM | Well, i wouldn't meet anyone face to face without a pic, though i don't mind chatting to them and getting to know them without a pic.
I just don't understand why people NEED to see a pic to chat to someone, hell, even my mom don't get it, if its just chatting, whats the problem?
If it gets to the point of both liking each other's emails and chats and they decide they want to meet up, then you need to see a pic from both parties, but only for identification.
In my opinion, though people have a right to their own choices and beliefs and i would never try to change that, i just think anyone that can't even chat to someone without seeing a pic first is just plain shallow.
They might even say 'what if i want to meet the person i chat to?' well, when you discover you want to meet them, THEN for a photo.
I personally have been attracted to women just by how they act and who they are on the inside. | |
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| Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 5/27/2008 6:28:12 AM | I posted an ad on Craigslist and received an e-mail from a man that said he did not have any pictures of himself. We exchanged very brief e-mails for about a week and decided to meet, take a walk at the park and hang out. I was a little nervous about doing so but decided to take the risk.
The afternoon was wonderful and we got along great. He was nice looking in his own way. Since then we have exchanged a few e-mails and texted each other a few times. I feel it turned out to be worth the risk I took. | |
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