| welcome to writin' for losers 101
Posted: 6/5/2008 1:34:48 AM | any loser can write about their world falling apart
I can only recall one song about a world falling back together again
this feels like a ramble
I stopped in at the biker bar just to make an appearance
didn't know one person in the whole place
announced rather loudly that I don't get out much and I came to shoot pool
none of the old hippies even looked up.. but, I got challenged by a young fool
gold caps on a tattooed white boy
my new toy
hahahahaha
my tats are bruises and scratches up and down my arms
and I didn't just powder my cue just for charm
You got balls? I know you've got no money
how about I put up a c-note and you put up your old lady
I asked casually while I was breaking
and the goddam seven ball dropped in accidently
I didn't mean to take the lead early
as my three rail bank missed the side pocket freely
he shot too hard and missed as I was antisipating
too easy
and his chic, the bartender, was only nineteen
talk about boring
I decided to sweep the table and then noone would play me
I didn't stick around to rule the scene
I don't own a tux
no reason to have one
when I want to get dressed up
I just think about the Indian Princess
I can see the child inside of her just by looking at her pictures
sorry, noone's online and I was staring into her eyes on her profile
I compare all women to her
just a warning
and there went my budget
three bucks for a beer at the biker bar right up the road
yanno I also rather loudly expressed my thoughts about that
and my toy, the gold toothed wanna be biker boy, thought he'd get phat
"there are about six of us around here that stand with the owner"
...and I'm like "you have to ask your old lady to buy you a beer"
I'm really not all that scared
if I was, I wouldn't have stumbled in here
that's the first time that I've stopped at a bar for a long time
it'll be a longer stretch until I do again
lonely idiots
where else do you put them?
blank faces on the ones that just don't want to go home
glances from the nineteen year old bartender
gold toothed white boy didn't even get to know her
she'll be gone tomorrow
if she has any sense at all
I like for my friends to be mixed with both culture and nature
mud between the toes washed off to go to the theatre
slipped into comfortable shoes that are ugly
but, don't slip when we take a walk on the boardwalk after
that's me and I guess the ponytail and my bad shoes fool some people
if I had really wanted to play with my toy; I'd have recited something biblical
why waste the irony?
yanno? | |
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| welcome to writin' for losers 101
Posted: 6/7/2008 6:51:14 PM | I've been trying to figure out my next move lately
haven't been dating
sometimes it gets lonely
without an old lady
the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result
I don't need to give the definition for glutton for punishment
mental limbo
hardly any emotions
taking things slow
I have no idea what I want
out of a woman or out of myself
and I've just placed myself on the shelf
cobwebs in the corner of a pulmonary chamber
the other three just throb and stare
a mixture of both awe and fear | |
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| welcome to writin' for losers 101
Posted: 6/7/2008 7:24:57 PM | there's no shame
being on the shelf
you still got game
pace yourself
and don't jump down
till you find a girl
that turns your heart around
you'll know it's right
if you talk all night
and you don't feel like a clown
'cause you didn't score...
you just want more
and she puts a grin on your face
with things she talks about
instead of putting out
and makes you want to shout
"I met a fvcking pearl"
and tell your dad
about the coolest girl
you never had
yet
but someday
you will get | |
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| welcome to writin' for losers 101
Posted: 6/8/2008 6:50:50 AM | is this the right room for writin' for losers 101?
just to buy you a beer bro
and here's a looney for the next game
I'll break (just like a woman) though
I'm apt to clear table all the same.
I remember my pool-hall-stance
one foot up holding the wall
stick in hand, hand in pants
16 oz, if I recall
awe, those were the daze
waiting for the next round
I was the perfect loser way
back in the lost and found
well, we all have our pearls bro
I had 5 minutes with mine
but here's a beer and game, yunno
to move a head in time | |
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| welcome to writin' for losers 101
Posted: 6/8/2008 11:58:13 AM | Oh, and by the way, this is not an original quote of mine:
the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result
It just occurred to me that I heard that at an AA meeting nearly twenty years ago.
I don't know if it's from the Big Book, one of the other publishments, or just something that someone stated.. but, it's not an original on my end.
Just wanted to clarify that.
hey OM... are those girl's trying to tell me that I can't have sex while on the shelf?
I said I wasn't dating.. I don't wanna quit fvcking.. that would be hell
I'm still game for a fvck buddie
just one that can keep emotions separated
yeah, figured you'd knocked your share of balls around the table
prolly even pyssed in a pocket a time or two
 moo | |
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| welcome to writin' for losers 101
Posted: 6/8/2008 1:17:19 PM | nah, your heart is on the shelf....
your dik, well, ya gotta have some release.......but whatever you do, don't use it as your heart's divining rod....
what happened to your former maid? | |
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| welcome to writin' for losers 101
Posted: 6/8/2008 2:12:01 PM | lol, she's out back in the pet cemetary
started telling me that she loved me
I told her not to do that
gave her several time outs
the kind where my number just doesn't work
yeah, I'm a jerk
but, I'm right up front about it
I don't want heads clouded
I don't want to hear it unless I love a person back
well, other than during sex
but, that's different
actually, it's really not
I love it when you touch me
is different than I love you deeply
wow, this is turning out to be a ramble
this sunday?
I better take a moment and see what I'm putting down here
ah fvck it.. who cares
what happened to my maid?
she turned out to be the mother of an oak tree
an acorn
another nut
and she'd prolly head over to do my dishes right now if I called her up
not that she's a slut
but, she fell in love
after I told her that I never would
I do speak rather clearly don't I?
other than the southern drawl thingy
and her smile was as beautiful as Pandy's
far from ugly
but, I never developed feelings
I fired her permenantly when she called and said it was either call me to hear me
or drink bleach
and I humored her as long as I could and then hung up
then pretty much lost her number
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| welcome to writin' for losers 101
Posted: 6/8/2008 2:24:27 PM | this reminded me of one of my favorite poems by Rod McKuen....not sure if you'd fancy me just leavin this random shit (that I didn't even write) on your page....but hell, if u don't like it....come on up here to North Carolina! (How big a boy are ya? bahahahahaha)
anywhoo...as I was sayin
Private Spencer
by: Rod McKuen
Private Spencer
has a problem -
his eyes are lonlier than most.
I saw a woman
follow him
halfway home once
failing to understand
until long after his wide footsteps had quickened....
that that wasn't what he wanted at all. | |
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| welcome to writin' for losers 101
Posted: 6/9/2008 12:34:56 PM | man puts a book in his pocket and calls it his friend
must be why he looks off and away every now and then
people sometimes speak to and around him
but never once do his eyes answer
if it wasnt for his job he would be living in a cave
since we know that time is there for us to experience
at our own speed, is he living fast or slow?
is the pleasure he feels fully plumbed
or too rare to even be noticed
does the gains made alone really stick?
the audience matters most to those attuned to that energy
giving and taking without noticing a face
sometimes we take a break without moving
finding the limits we need by just relaxing into them
now stop forking with me, I'm reading
inside the body battles to be heard
I'll listen soon enough | |
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| welcome to writin' for losers 101
Posted: 6/9/2008 2:15:00 PM | MAN, I'm a pissy bytch today...
I'm not sure if it's the lack of sex
or
the 50+ beers I drunk over the last three days
but quite frankly my dear..................
if I gotta finish that sentence for ya you don't deserve to hear the rest
Rhett Butler
dayum he's hot
him and his ole tough ass
and he put that prissy bytch right in her place
and I weigh 165
so that beer didn't kill me (and I ain't no prissy bytch)
but by Sunday I wished I was dead...
100 + degrees.....sticky ass southern heat......
-need another shower by the time you've finished your makeup-
and with gas up to $100 a gallon....
wat's a girl that drives a truk
with a V-8 magnum
(didja know that engine's in the hemi family?wooohoo!)
in it s'posed to do
besides lay by the pool and drink cheap beer
unless of course the boys are buyin'....then it's Corona all the way....
I'm sorry I come here to rant Brawny
(but not really)
somethin' bout you attracts the crazy bytch in me
.....OR.....it might just be those giant cukes yer holdin' over there.....
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| welcome to writin' for losers 101
Posted: 6/9/2008 3:12:07 PM | man.. you blocked my view of her tits
now what the hell am I going to write about?
I was scrolling down and said "oh shyt"
I think I see nipple on the left breast
and scrolled down and saw you
lost my hard on too
now it's gonna take a trip from my muse
to rejuvenate that creative juice
thanks a lot
I lost train of thought
something about Salem's Lot
a pvssy that comes back to life or somethin
hanging out with me will get you nowhere
look up at the title
it's a self-explainer
and I quit wearing sox and underwear
I'm kinda like hanging out with Jack
stormed in with ghosts of the past
redrum redrum and a bloody axe
where will this "poem" go? alas..
who the hell know's besides the devil?
that's why I call my lunatic ramblings rambles
which should also explain itself
as I toss a handfull of salt over my shoulder
guess I should write something since I'm here rambling
or at least keep typing
know what I mean?
please, noone criticize me
so, how many of you girls prefer a circumsized penis?
just thought I'd ask
ever told you about gnat cappin'?
guess I'd better not go into that
yanno what kind of girls I dig?
the ones who love spaghetti westerns
old clint eastwood
while we eat with chopsticks
yeah, that's much less offensive to the general population than what I gonna write
I'm sensoring myself well tonight
but, I ain't done yet
we still don't even have a theme or a plot
and I prefer fire to ice
candlelight
a soft aroma
nowdays, my music softer
WHERE THE FVCK'S MY MUSE?
I'M GONNA BEAT HER ASS
just thought I'd toss some Springer in for class
for all of you out there in the trailer parks readin'
this started out to be a terse
a few lines about a suspected left nipple
I have absolutely no idea where we are now?
and if I you've read this far, you're an idiot too
moo
edit: lmao nevermind | |
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| welcome to writin' for losers 101
Posted: 6/9/2008 3:26:01 PM | I'm eating popcorn and drinking raspberry cola
As the rains crash the grass while noting Angola
Lies on the map like a subterfuge magpie
With three discordant left tits and a blackened eye. | |
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| welcome to writin' for losers 101
Posted: 6/9/2008 3:39:23 PM | I used to go to the dog track
a score ago and eat those snails and shyt
bet on a ten nippled bytch on the rag
she caught the rabbit and tore off it's ass | |
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| welcome to writin' for losers 101
Posted: 6/9/2008 3:46:11 PM | Hope you got ten to one, though sounds like they gave it a drug test;
Paws on the treadmill pad, slobber of guilt, tongue slack and pressed
On the pharmacy pan, who'd a thunk man's best friend alone
Could have been as corrupt as Fred Rogers pumped full of ozone? | |
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| welcome to writin' for losers 101
Posted: 6/9/2008 3:58:31 PM | I always have to borrow money for smokes on the way home
that's pretty much why I don't go there anymore
bet the huh?
that dog need a pedicure?
edit | |
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| welcome to writin' for losers 101
Posted: 6/9/2008 4:08:05 PM | It was a French pooch.
Looked like a used douche.
Nails filed, and a record.
Jailed with a dachsheund, and peckered. | |
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| welcome to writin' for losers 101
Posted: 6/9/2008 4:12:42 PM | I'll make sure my Sammy
Stays well out of trouble then;
Yikes, with his pretty pink toenails?
They'd have a field day with him!
Hi guys!  | |
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| welcome to writin' for losers 101
Posted: 6/9/2008 4:21:02 PM | And,the gang's all here!
F*ckin' mechanics!
If only I could find one,
Who'd screw me the RIGHT way!
Kissing my azz,
and pickin' my pocket,
Takes alot of practice. | |
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| welcome to writin' for losers 101
Posted: 6/9/2008 4:24:18 PM | Put your hands in HIS pockets, leafs,
And fleece his follicled balloons.
If he shouts for harassment, and beefs,
Then on the counter throw two loons. | |
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| welcome to writin' for losers 101
Posted: 6/9/2008 4:26:18 PM | I think they call that the 'reacharound';
In mechanics lives, a term that abounds.
I keep telling ya, just show some leg there honey...
Then you can ask "is that a tailpipe in your pocket,
Or are you just happy to see me?" | |
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| welcome to writin' for losers 101
Posted: 6/9/2008 4:28:10 PM | I once had a redpenised blowfish
talk about exotic
then someone stole it from me
and I couldn't afford to buy it back on ebay
edit again: you did bring girls, rory
thanks | |
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| welcome to writin' for losers 101
Posted: 6/9/2008 4:28:27 PM | Umm..showing some leg,
Could be an issue,
Unless they're turned on,
By alot of scar tissue.
I knew a red-penised blowfish once..then we stopped dating..lol! | |
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| welcome to writin' for losers 101
Posted: 6/9/2008 4:32:17 PM | I blew a....nah, never mind,
I just won't go there!
For the boys it'd be too easy...
And besides, it made me queasy.
I'm KIDDING!
Is it always happy hour in VA when I post here?! lol | |
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