| welcome to writin' for losers 101
Posted: 7/1/2008 5:52:15 PM | the proper tense for the term is nefariousness
drea looked it up
I told her I'd have to have a buzz to stuff that into a poem
and away we go.............
and she says I'm not evil
just a touch uncivil
I hear that
ya bytch
and then I go thinkin' all Dante again
every person is evil within
and then some
for those who ain't paying much attention..
styx wasn't just a band, it's also a river
do I dare?
and here's a couple stanza's for the moral majority
you're not holding your crusifix tight enough while sleeping
the devil an' I are still gonna getcha
we're the down inside of your pillow
close your eyes and realise your sins
that's when we'll come creaping in
getting on your knees will do no good
you know that when you close your eyes, we're comin
to feast on your own nightmares
and we do feast well
you can lie to the world.. but, you can't lie to yourself
welcome to your own personal hell
any honest preacher would tell you
if there was such a thing, yanno?
god ain't got much to do with it
but, satan and I have a lot of fun visitin'
close your eyes and we'll come visit you
while to thine own self you thought that you could be untrue
no no no.. time for your bedtime story
come sit on uncle satan's lap, darling
close your eyes, you're sleepy
and expect to wake up screaming
 moo | |
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| welcome to writin' for losers 101
Posted: 7/1/2008 5:58:34 PM | According to the seven layers
Dante drove himself
until he found a way out
learning, leaping from layer to layer
crucifixes are like baseball bats
only as strong as the person holding them
believing in all that is
is
angels watch us through the night
raising quilts of gold
protection creeping kudzu
managing to keep away demons
for another night
waking safe
sound
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| welcome to writin' for losers 101
Posted: 7/1/2008 8:15:57 PM | i shy away from organized anything
organization is for ummm?
whom?
accidents do happen
but i feel that things happen for us
when they should
if so...?
i'm thankful i have some of
THE BEST
friends in the world...
here | |
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| welcome to writin' for losers 101
Posted: 7/3/2008 2:48:32 AM | yeah, but, if I get hungry
I'll eatcha
(I always mispell horny)
my mind is cluttered this morning
I'm just going to do a little bit of cleaning
Ode to Becky
I should have called you back in january
but, it's me
I didn't want to bother you
how's that old man of yours doin'?
I never know what shift he's on
I don't want to wake him, is why I haven't called
and it's no more complicated than that
well, if you subtract the three hour time difference
I always think about you
just wanted to tell you
I guess I should write something since I'm here
see the lips on that chic above
they look like they'd kiss as well as yours
and she's single
I don't even call her
I don't call anybody
except for pandy
and that's rarely
because she's been busy lately
I don't want to bother anyone
or I wouldn't have become a hermit
but, that doesn't mean that I don't love ya
I didn't lose your phone number
and my rolodex is pretty small
you're the only one in the B file
most letters are empty
that should tell you something
I didn't forget you
but, you are the B file
who the hell is Zelda?
I'm working my way backwards | |
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| welcome to writin' for losers 101
Posted: 7/3/2008 4:15:19 AM | and yet another true story
what have I been gone, an hour?
I hate going out in public
I got off of here fixin' to push mow an acre and a third
and I go up to get some gas and a three dollar breakfast
I'm not only wearing yesterdays clothes
I'm wearing yesterdays hair, too
Driving my three hundred dollar beater
and guess who this gal comes up to tell about jesus
yeah, no shyt
she went away to study
cute lil old black gal
sincere as hell
reading from a pamflet
stumblin' on some of the spellin'
and I just had to entertain me
even at six oclock in the morning
I told her not to waste her time preaching to me
I'm going to hell in a basket quite happily
then she told me that there was really no hell
that that was just philosophical
then she told all about heaven
well, only for a minute
'cause I started preaching to her
all the time wearing my smile
voice down low
with the force of martin luther
I told her all about Dante
spent fifteen minutes doing it just because I thought it was funny
all the while smiling
hell I was describing
I think I might have saved her soul
she walked away taking notes
the last thing I told her was "thanks for reminding me to get beer"
and she wasn't even an ass hole
I'm the last person on the face of the earth that a sane person would walk up and testify to.
Expect the same in return, if you do. I'm the definition of recipricocation.
And I wasn't in a hurry to start mowin'.. was just filling the gas can.
At four bucks a gallon. Don't jesus me. You'll end up crying.
Wasn't jesus an arab? Close enough when I get rollin'.
So, hell is a myth
and heaven a fact
I don't eat lamb
why would I care? | |
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| welcome to writin' for losers 101
Posted: 7/3/2008 5:18:05 AM | wonder why is it they don’t contradict
to their preaching programed they stick
when all the answers they know
all the riddles explained in the book they tow
you throw them a loop or two
and its like they walked into a lions cage at the zoo
not a word do they utter but stand and stare
like you’ve cast them into oblivion with a verbal snare
I too can banter with the best
when they get up in my face they are up for a test
I let them go easy with a smile
a blessing or two from this old crocodile | |
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| welcome to writin' for losers 101
Posted: 7/3/2008 6:27:23 AM | and yet another woman who only wears period panties 
rednecks get a beer break every time we refill the mower
twice per if it's got a lot of horse power
in my case.. I'm the horse
push mower
and I mow around any weed with a flower
it takes a little extra while
and the people driving by think I'm a psycho
when I toss the mower over what we'll call a florida butterfly caller
ever married, dated, or, been kin to a redneck man?
we're very easy to understand
we're the ones who stop to get a drink at a lemonade stand
and most of the time have dirty hands
laugh at the obvious and ponder the yonder
while watching acorns grow taller
and we don't mind when you make fun us all
we're the one's who grab life by the balls
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| welcome to writin' for losers 101
Posted: 7/4/2008 1:52:30 AM | ... and the rocket's red glare
I'm never going out into public again, I swear
so I got bored and went up to the biker bar to shoot some pool
all the while knowing that I'd be associating with fools
I just forgot how bad that it is
a world full of idiots
and I'm out back at the picnic table with a couple new bro's
hangin' out and gettin' a great buzz
when up walks a woman
and yanno me, I ask her if those are super titties or just a great bra
she just smiled and said "both"
of course
and took a few tokes
it's social
then I taught a hardbodied dancing wild woman how to hold her cue
IT'S NOT MY FAULT THAT YOUR OLD LADY WANTS TO SCREW!!!
she's just bored of hanging out with morons like you!
first time in a year that someone actually talked to her
and women can sense that I won't lie to them
for any reason
and that's a turn on
just ask one
I told her "sorry, I'm going to have to touch you"
taught her how to chalk her cue
and shoot behind her back, too
all was cool
I should have left two hours earlier
I remember telling one of my new bro's that while sitting at the picnic table
someone's always gets pyssed when I'm around women
I can't help it.. they know I love 'em
and this fatass bouncer with big arms
actually came and asked me to sit down
I didn't even put him on the ground
told him I was leaving if he wanted to step out
and I could hear his old lady's pvssy get tighter when I told him that
I'm simply not allowed to be out in public
I forgot
lost my collar
you're too late anyway, ass hole
she already asked for my number
and I gave it to her
picture her having a true orgasm
hardbodied dancing maniac gal has my number too
don't bring your old lady to a biker bar if you don't want her screwed
I don't even have a single tattoo
that has nothing to do with being cool
(I'm trying to get one more stanza lol)
what the fvck is up with jealousy anyway?
there is such a thing as self-restraint
and I admit that I'm not good at that
next time I'll fvck your old lady right in front of your back
I mean, goddam
flirtin and fvkin aren't the same
she needed it
d1ckhead
 arf | |
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| welcome to writin' for losers 101
Posted: 7/4/2008 8:47:22 PM | I was going to write over on Drea's thread..
but, I didn't want to ugly it up after that beautiful angel poem
you know what I mean if you really know her
I'll write something there when I can be tasteful :D
no radio on tonight
other than the dog barking, silence
I figured there would be more noise from fireworks
I guess the city couldn't afford them
I've got an Indian Princess write inside of me that I can't get out
so, I figured I'd ramble for awhile
that always seems to help
sometimes I need a jump start
tenderness has nothing to do with roughness
and apologizing is often sandpaper
the native women will get that
take a lesson from them
sometimes I write about fvckin
other times I write about lovin
there is a difference
remember that
my morality tank is low
or I'd write about the Red Road
I'm still feeling dirty
from going out into public
if a woman falls down and lands on my d1ck
that's just called sex
if she's in my head while I'm fvcking her
that means she's fvcking me too
and don't shyt yourself
that's what we all want
virgin or stud
doesn't matter much
I warned you that it was gonna be another ramble
yanno?
I should prolly turn the radio on and mellow out for awhile
I'm not gonna though
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| Brawny's lessons in life...101
Posted: 7/5/2008 9:03:32 AM | for all there is that isn't
capable, comparable, copecetic
there is a heart of gold
beneath the worlds of words
layered deep in your soul
strength...hayel yeah
you have it
laughter, love
dogmatic, intrensic
struggling, dogpaddling, treading
alligators closing in
but still carrying on
everything that glitters
isn't gold,
nor is everything perfect
that is blonde
i prefer a little tarnish
on the halos
i hang out with anyway
soul means so much more
to me
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| Brawny's lessons in life...101
Posted: 7/5/2008 4:49:27 PM | juju I would have to cut and paste the whole poem to comment, so let me just say you are TOP SHELF as a friend of mine used to say *smile....
complexities
swirling inside
a little darkness in this corner
lots of light all around
those who deny the dark
never really find feel the light
our puppy dog has a
beacon inside him *smile | |
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| Brawny's lessons in life...101
Posted: 7/5/2008 5:05:28 PM | bahahaha....yeah....DID you swallow a doobie again?...
i do believe that JuJu and Drea captured the idea perfectly.......
but i must agree
that this dog is dear to me
behind that snarling growl
is a man that knows how to howl
at the moon
and make ladies swoon
and behind all of that jazz
is a heart tried and true
so what's a man to do?
but put uncensored thoughts on these pages
that have made many women smile of all ages
because we know what kinda' heart it takes
to tell the difference between real and fake
yeah....this ain't my best rhyme
but i wish it wuz
'cause i got nothin' but love for ya cuz | |
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| Brawny's lessons in life...101
Posted: 7/5/2008 5:05:52 PM | 
LOL LOL LOL ROTFLMAO Brizo!!
did he or did I lol??
doctor put me on prednisone 3 days ago
and it makes me a bit loco | |
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| Brawny's lessons in life...101
Posted: 7/5/2008 8:21:27 PM | Take my hand and walk me into the forest
light up the fireflies and smile
on and wing and a prayer
that the good ole doobie stays lit
on its passage into the wasteland of a dream
please turn down the music
so I can hear my thoughts
and the crickets chirping in unison
I want to close my eyes and feel
as they fill my body full of drugs
and provide me with a soma holiday
they in their sterile void
as I drift off into oblivion
while they take advatage of my patience
and dignity
please take my hand and walk me into the forest
of the unknown. | |
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| Brawny's lessons in life...101
Posted: 7/5/2008 10:14:44 PM | alot on my mind tonight
weighing me down
thunderstorms crashing
driving through pelting
furor
emotions
thunderbolts reigning
over my heart
growling in the darkness
glad it's over
thanks for talking me down, Brawny
you helped calm my shattered nerves...
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| Brawny's lessons in life...101
Posted: 7/6/2008 12:34:44 PM | yanno...
I'd take a blunt person
over a kiss-a$S any day
and i'm a little broken hearted today
NO i don't wanna talk about it
'cause i wouldn't begin to know what to say
(hey dawg.....couldja gimme' a ramble to get lost in please) | |
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| Brawny's lessons in life...101
Posted: 7/6/2008 12:50:05 PM | like attracts like
in souls, broken hearts...you name it
wonder at times why we keep trying
maybe because the good times
ones that you look back on with a smile
deep in your soul
are worth the shyt
you gotta go through
maybe
and if not?
one step then another
and i'm further away
emotionally
clensing auras
moving back into sunlight
nothing's gonna keep me down
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| writin in the bathroom...101
Posted: 7/6/2008 3:48:31 PM |
(hey dawg.....couldja gimme' a ramble to get lost in please)
Well, darlin.. I'll be happy to give you a ramble.. and yanno that usually
everyone gets lost somewhere reading them. Usuall before the second stanza.
AGAIN? DANG IT!
Looks like I stumbled in the one marked "girls"
I don't see a urinal
Just a tampon dispenser
Mind if I pyss in the corner?
I woke up to the sweetest thing
I'll leave that for the ending
who know's what's going in between
I don't write, I just start typing
yanno, I've always say that there are 3 three's that begin
or end
a relationship
and it goes by months
the first three months you're too smitten to notice
from which end of the toothpaste tube a person squeezes
all the little shyt that really irritates
up or down toilet seats
the second three months you get to see each other more clearly
the enfatuation is blending with reality
sublte's are no longer just funny
they're s'posed to mean something
the third three months, if you've made it this far, is the decision
do you walk off or finish walkin' in
ask yourself if they know you yet
don't worry about knowing them
And I've got other theories
sometimes the three day rule applies
and that's 267 days you've saved
Halleluja!
But, that's still better than wondering
if you know what I mean
you've got to taste it to see
sometimes it can still be sweet
people act like women have fifty personalities
but, it doesn't really work that way
and men don't work like an off and on switch
most just act like it
the rules have changed over the years
men sometimes wear tears
women sometimes wear the balls
here's a lil story about treating each other like equals
I woke up to the sweetest thing... *
an email from a girl who I hadn't talked to for a couple along whiles
she's married now
said she had spent two hours browsing my writing
yeah, no shyt, it totally amazed me
later she said it even inpired her to write again after seven years
my love for The Indian Princess
tried and true
we're way past the fvckin' 3 three rule
but, we don't have to live with each other either
that's why I call her my sister
that makes things so much easier
our timeshare starts in 2034
when we pull the rocking chairs together
and I love noone more than her
some people just don't do each other to each other
that's love
moo that work ash? and a :heart: | |
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| writin in the bathroom...101
Posted: 7/6/2008 9:18:13 PM | You know Dawg you just hit the nail on the head there...the rule of 3...I laugh and cry just commiserating! Very real and very wise...Woof! Woof! | |
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| writin in the bathroom...101
Posted: 7/7/2008 4:03:11 AM | I beg to differ
In the first
I noticed he did not come home
The second only altered the path
Leaving me; cleaning the toilet
And the third; I thanked him
For always respecting me
…he left the toilet seat down
No amount of viagra would pull him up
^^^did I write the above and continue below vvv?
I cringe and yet I cannot desist
From flushing
I’m sure there’s a game
Somewhere tonight that’s called golf
With cable I can dream
Reality is living
I still oblige in a caddy
Says the “player” who rules
I ain’t singing Holly Molly
Stimulating rights are a waste of time
I’ve still got a handicap  | |
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