| welcome to writin' for losers 101
Posted: 8/1/2008 6:56:19 PM | she'd call if she wanted to talk to me
and that's just a blanket statement
that goes for all homosapiens
all religions
race or sex
It's gonna take me 'til death to get a grip on the 21st century
I was allowed in the twentieth barely
brunettes only, please
yeah, I know what I'm saying | |
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| welcome to writin' for losers 101
Posted: 8/2/2008 6:03:47 AM | good thing that I knew then
 I kinda get the brunette part, though
I have a fetish for braiding long dark hair
try not to stare
noone knows some folks true colors
hard to tell since everyone shaves the cuff and dyes the collars
not a consideration when I have breakfast with the mexicans
off on my search for one who's half native
yanno I'll marry her when I find her
as long as she doesn't speak american | |
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| welcome to writin' for losers 101
Posted: 8/2/2008 8:55:11 PM | I was going to spare myself
the embarrassment
or however you spell it
and not write anything tonight
...but,
there's always one of those somewhere
you ever notice that?
but, what?
apparently I have to make an example of a ramble
we'll see where it goes
does anybody really care?
I hope not
'cause, here we go
I finally got drunk enough to realize that I don't have a woman
god, that took awhile
have to put gettin' one on the list with "to do things"
but, that does explain my lack of draperies
and the evil one is also innocent
it depends on what side of the coin you call when it's flipped
oh, I forgot I don't bet
I watched the way that you chalked your stick
I don't know about you
well, actually, I do
you're single for a reason
tell me all about it
may I have your olive?
poke that pimento out with your tongue
we're not even drinking martini's
cool, olives are kinky | |
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| welcome to writin' for losers 101
Posted: 8/3/2008 4:52:25 PM | staring out the open window with the rain spashing in
everytime there's a wind change
I don't seem to be missing anything
should I check again?
I feel refreshed
how about a ditty for the Indian Princess?
I think I heard a tire on the boat trailer pop
the drainhole must be clogged up
yanno oak trees and rednecks
we've gotta park somethin' under 'em
don't see too many tire swings nowdays
I'm going to add one to the steel swingset conspiracy
allow me to push you in it first, please
when you get to the top, take a picture for me
you know me and sunday
I wind up all of my week's "one days"
through your eyes and lens you paint the scenery
I'll subtitle each one with poetry | |
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| welcome to writin' for losers 101
Posted: 8/4/2008 12:26:47 PM | This is just another public service announcement:
Why the fvck don't they just explain the FDIC rules to these people?
I'm speaking specifically about florida
half the population here grew up in the depression
I know it's not just paranoia if you've witnessed it first hand
I'm gonna explain this one more fvckin time
maybe it will sink in if I put it into rhyme
Each individual account is insured up to 100,000 dollars
but, there are also POD's and other issues that increase the amount of insurance
If you simply structure your accounts properly
you'll be covered til the fed runs out of money
at which point we'd all be screwed anyway
quit worrying
My new hobby is estate planning
how can I help you rich old ladies? | |
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| welcome to writin' for losers 101
Posted: 8/4/2008 12:57:37 PM | Hiya Dog,
Well thats a new way for you to talk about getting screwed, 
I have National Night Out Block Party
At my house tomorrow night
So many chairs and tables in my garage
It's quite a sight
Been getting ready all day
I've made 11 cakes so far
Cleaned my house
And moved my car
My a$$ is tired
But a puff will do
So here's to the last big party
And oh yeah, I heard from Lu....
Hugs
Sam
 | |
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| welcome to writin' for losers 101
Posted: 8/4/2008 2:23:49 PM | Heard from Lu?
she musta seen that I signed into canasta
did she mention me?
no teasing
I haven't talked to her for a year
and, it's not my fault either
you too, huh
so, what's she doin'?
My phone number is still the same
did she mention if she's going to hog days?
I'd go, but, someone might recognize me
the grotto is on the way up past d1ckieville wisconsin
ain't no big deal Lu
unfold a chair or two
we'll pick up some smoked cheddar in d1ckieville
I won't scream because you're a poor map folder
Mari needs some help unfolding the chairs
and I know that you need to let down your hair
pick you up on the drive by?
I'm going that way | |
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| welcome to writin' for losers 101
Posted: 8/5/2008 3:31:19 PM | (sorry if I'm slow getting around to mail
well, that's not true. I really don't care
I'll get around to it when I get in the mood
it has nothing to do with being rude)
I was tellin Sis this mornin
about this feral child
Google it if you haven't heard about it
Plant City, Florida
But, I warn you that it will relieve you of your appetite
the shrinks hadn't even heard of a feral child
I guess I'll explain it like I did to Sis
basically, this ignorant pigbytch popped out this kid
and for seven years never gave her any human contact
they found her wearing a diaper and drinking from a bottle
can't comprehend language or speak at all
probably never will
and she's not retarded
well, let's say that she wasn't at birth
aquarium guppies get more human contact than this kid did
the first thing they had to do was give her a flea dip
she's devoid of all humanity
and I don't mean that in a cruel way
when she was picked up and hugged her arms lay lifeless by her sides
shyt like this they don't even know how to categorize
And of course this is the town right next door
I've told you before that all the fvckin nuts roll south to florida
and the pigbytch
she's not even embarrassed about it
says she's only guilty of having a dirty house
SHE DIDN'T EVEN GO FIND A NEW TOWN!!!
And they didn't bury pigbytch under the jail
the state's attourney made her a deal
she just gave up her rights to "the feral kid"
then she bawled and said how much she loved it
I swear shyt like this is why Ringling based his circus down here
he was a man of vision
he knew all the freaks and nuts would roll down hill
go ahead.. google feral child
She'd have been sold to the circus a hundred years ago
nowdays we try not to stare at the side-shows
she was adopted by some "couple" who took her out of state
I'm guessing government scientists
Seriously, though
could you do it?
rescue that feral child?
googled yet?
I think most of us would lean towards being philanthropists
when they start a foundation, we'll send a few bucks in
pretty much, they are going to try to train a pet rock
and it doesn't say much for mankind that one of us slipped pigbytch the c0ck
I think that we should shoot dad, too
just for sticking his d1ck in her
of course he's prolly dead now
happens when you stuff it into every willing psycho
I'm getting off topic again
sorry about that
google that feral child shyt
but, don't do it first if you're about to have dinner | |
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| welcome to writin' for losers 101
Posted: 8/5/2008 9:18:59 PM | Hiya Dog,
Yes Lu is doing great!!
Getting her life back now
Moving forward again
And hasn't forgotten the cow (Moo)
Give her time
We're in her thoughts always
I'm proud of her
In many ways
Here's to Lu
We'll chat soon
Maybe a confrence
Someday at noon
Sam
| |
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| welcome to writin' for losers 101
Posted: 8/6/2008 5:35:15 PM | well, tell her she owes me a blowie.. I can't remember why.
at this point, I reckon just out of principle. 
Man, I'm bummed..
this huge Proscan tv finally didn't turn on
I can barely pick the relic up
and there's not enough light in the house for me to tech it
guess I'll just tote it to the curb
I bet the pawn shops are packed to their ceilings
with people's two thousand dollar tvs
prolly buy some digital flat screen shyt that I don't care about
I haven't watched much tv since Johnny Carson retired
and no doubt the news will irritate me even more on big screen
but I'm gonna get the biggest pawned tv in all of Polk county
I guess it's good timing though
I'd better go tomorrow
they just closed down Lakeland's stock car track
the locals will be buying two more tvs to watch 3D nascar
listening intently with five hundred speaker surround sound
I'm predicting a bull market on pawn shop tvs in the local market
 moo Anybody even heard of the brand Proscan? lol They sure as hell didn't sell them by the pound..
noone could have afforded one. | |
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| welcome to writin' for losers 101
Posted: 8/7/2008 10:47:28 AM | I'm really not retired
just having another early happy hour
I do way too much self-psychoanylizing
that kinda crap will drive you crazy
somebody get me a bloody mary
I'm startin to feel sorry for me
See, I haven't wanted to be here for quite some time now
there is nothing appealing to me anymore about central florida
I'd rather be in south carolina
kidnapping the Indian Princess on my way to the islands
have ourselves a midlife adventure
spend each day searching for buried pleasures
but, for now, I'm too locked in
and that's not a good feelin
I prefer to think out of the box
goes with being clostrophobic
a clostrophobic hermit
you try analyzing that
one day I'll just show up
say "c'mon Sis and get in the truck
what about your stuff?
where we're going you won't need it
just grab your camera bag
your passport and your press pass
I'll find us a fourty foot trawler
we'll scour the world if it's your desire
that's more than enough room for me and you
and the sail let's us conserve our diesel
show 'em your press pass and I'll show you cuba
we can go anywhere if you take pictures
spend a month in costa rica
and then head for africa
I can write for national geographic
describe to me what the people want
nevermind, they want what we've got
just have to remind them
as the Indian Princess laughs as she changes memory cards in her camera
and I do the same as I write more for her
she actually loves to be upon my word easle
I can't imagine what my heart would scream watching her raise the sail
other than "I'm shutting the engine off.. you take the helm"
"gonna write for awhile while I watch your smile harness the wind"
always keep your camera bag close
one day I'm just gonna show up
force you to come with me at your own will
head towards the islands
natives and pirates
the perfect cosmic connection
 arf | |
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| welcome to writin' for losers 101
Posted: 8/7/2008 3:07:12 PM | for Mari
though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
I can still smile because I've always seen the forrest
stopped to smell all of the flowers
laughed with you as would a child
close your eyes and inhale the lilacs
you can hear the beehive's buzz
picture nectar on the hummingbird's beak
close your eyes, relax, and breath deep
memories are precious
you'll always smell the aroma of them
and poems are for the living
write a few more with me
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| welcome to writin' for losers 101
Posted: 8/7/2008 4:54:48 PM | I think I might be one toke over the line
I usually write for the Indian Princess about 3am
and sometimes that takes me til dawn
eastern time, and a draw bridge again
tending to the tides
is the sun's and the moon's fight
the seasons are all the same in purgatory
the lines in the red road become blurry
edit: that write sucked | |
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| welcome to writin' for losers 101
Posted: 8/8/2008 12:22:04 PM | yanno, pandy would dis-own me for doing shyt like this
but, she knows I just can't help myself
and somehow I got the day off
takin a nap about 11am killin a buzz
when I hear my goddam dog alarms going nuts
I wrap a towel around to see wtf?
and let me remind you that I'm not innercity
I'm what's left of florida country
and now I've got some black chic napping in my bed
don't know her name, she never said
I don't think I asked
she didn't seem like she wanted to talk much
and there are only a couple women that I really want to fvck
but, I did go in and lufa her back in the shower
ironicly, with ex's leftover scent of melon/cucumber
and it's storming
lot's of thunder and lightning
the first thing that I asked this six foot tall gal this morning
was "come in, please"
If I'm found with a dagger in my chest in the morn
well, it's god's fault, he dropped her off in my yard
ex always said I should be dating a twenty five year old
how much you wanna bet she show's up while I got a young hooker
yeah, think she'll believe I ain't having a taste?
I can't believe it myself
all I did was run my tongue down her back
gave her goosebumps just to make sure that I've still got it
I've no desire left in me to fvck strangers
I put on fresh sheets and said "the bed is yours"
handed her the remote control
she's back there freshly bathed still in wonder
the perky nipples on her small breasts inflating with the air conditioner
ahem..
gettin off track again..
Yanno, I planned on writing about the Indian Princess after my nap, and
for some reason, mother nature tossed a storm and a beautiful woman into my lap
I decided to get stoned and just stare at both of them
think it would be okay if I just go eat her?
in my bed I've got a dark, tender, young morsel
and yet I'm out here
writing and watching the lightnin
don't give me any shyt about self-discipline
I already quit riding the local biker chics
something that Pandy said
she prolly doesn't even know it
and I gave another psychotic woman a bath today
she's in my bed sleeping
no, I'm not dreaming
hot as smooth skin and pretty as can be
I'd fvck her.. but, I don't need that kind of trouble
Told her I'd never fvck another woman who isn't already my lover
I think I'll go stare at her for awhile longer
what's the harm in rubbing her?
god dropped her off, right?
I bet she's tight
yeah, I know she's comfortable
whatever
I'm gonna tell her to move over
I just want to smell her
melon/cucumber | |
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| welcome to writin' for losers 101
Posted: 8/11/2008 6:55:06 PM | I had something that I was going to write about
sometime's I wonder if it's just me that's nuts
you ever do that?
or do you wonder if your ass is too fat?
I'm sorry.. I have to post the fat bottom girl lyrics
in my whole life, I've never met a woman who didn't look in the mirror at her ass
... women look at their booties in the mirror
like we do our weinies?
I reckon that must be a girl thing
know what I mean?
nevermind again..
here's Queen
Are you gonna take me home tonight
Ah down beside that red firelight
Are you gonna let it all hang out
Fat bottomed girls
You make the rockin world go round
Hey I was just a skinny lad
Never knew no good from bad
But I knew life before I left my nursery
Left alone with big fat fanny
She was such a naughty nanny
Heap big woman you made a bad boy out of me
Hey hey!
Ive been singing with my band
Across the wire across the land
I seen evry blue eyed floozy on the way
But their beauty and their style
Went kind of smooth after a while
Take me to them dirty ladies every time
Oh wont you take me home tonight?
Oh down beside your red firelight
Oh and you give it all you got
Fat bottomed girls you make the rockin world go round
Fat bottomed girls you make the rockin world go round
Hey listen here
Now your mortgages and homes
I got stiffness in the bones
Aint no beauty queens in this locality (I tell you)
Oh but I still get my pleasure
Still got my greatest treasure
Heap big woman you gonna make a big man out of me
Now get this
Oh you gonna take me home tonight (please)
Oh down beside your red firelight
Oh you gonna let it all hang out
Fat bottomed girls you make the rockin world go round
Fat bottomed girls you make the rockin world go round
Get on your bikes and ride
Oooh yeah them fat bottomed girls
Fat bottomed girls
Yeah yeah yeah
Fat bottomed girls
Yes yes | |
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| welcome to writin' for losers 101
Posted: 8/12/2008 7:59:33 PM | she might be a fantasy
but, it's mine
that's actually one of my original lines
and she laughed again while telling me to go write
something original
and I have a few moments
this should be good :P
distractions
everyone needs one
:edit
and I still haven't said anything
or did I?
hi | |
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| welcome to writin' for losers 101
Posted: 8/14/2008 6:17:37 AM | the Indian Princess
perfection in progress
the center of my universe
and a total eclipse
I deleted about twenty chapters the other day
figured I'd better just start over again
I started getting carried away
Instead of the Indian Princess I started referring to her as Moon Lady
because, I can still see her smile after the sun sets
and I started wondering "how good can life get?"
we just can't tell yet
so, why write about it?
moo | |
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| welcome to writin' for losers 101
Posted: 8/15/2008 1:32:46 PM | I was gonna spend this dollar I've got in my pocket
on a new chain for a girl's locket
then a flea jumped on me
and I figured that she had cooties
you really need to ask yourself if you want to go there
because, I really don't care
I have to go to walmart anyway
I forgot to pick up a can of raid | |
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| welcome to writin' for losers 101
Posted: 8/15/2008 6:51:14 PM | Okay, now that I figured out how to turn limewire off
I can say that I'm glad that she's gone
nothing like total silence
don't even hum
I'm just standing in the corner tonight shaking my head
a wall flower once again
were you ever a wall flower?
mostly just the guys who were shorter and the girls who were taller
no fanfare needed
tap my toe in silence
I like that
and I don't feel comfortable writing for anyone 'cept for drea or the Indian Princess
but, that's my problem
I'll deal with it
ready ladies?
there's a ramble brewing
there's no telling where this is going
how many of you people dream?
and I mean while you're asleep
not while you're at your daily upkeep
my dreams are so vivid that I wake up smelling them
sweating my pillow thin
want me to take you into them?
think that you could wake up with us?
it's a hot yet cold sweat
comforter or a warm sheet?
crawl under this upsidedown boat on the beach
keep me warm, please
that's all that I ask
tell me the colors and I'll close my eyes and paint it
the things that I do for a cheek kiss | |
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| welcome to writin' for losers 101
Posted: 8/16/2008 6:07:11 AM | Aren't cheek kisses nice??!!!
Ya, I know what your say'n
here's just a couple:
I wake up scream'n, (scare'n the sh1t out of Matt) the first all nighter
(it had been awhile since someone had shared my bed!!!....lol)
Most of the time I wake up do'n things.....
Notepad, scrible'n
Turn'n alarms off
Wake'n up in the kitchen, start'n to prepare something, Brownies, was that time, at 3am?!!!!
However the most memorable:
Wake'n with one hand inside................................
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
a glass of water..........lol
with the other hold'n myself, need'n to pee!!!!!..................
I know what your mind was think'n.........lol and hey that's ok, can't tell all!!!
Love You (yea, I know!!!...........lol)
hugs and a kiss for the right cheek!!!
or would that be the left if you were face'n me!!!!!!!............. | |
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| welcome to writin' for losers 101
Posted: 8/16/2008 6:36:35 AM |  Love you too hammy.. lol
My worst one was when ex woke me up right before I pee'd in the clothes hamper.
And she wondered how the polaroid got broken..
that just had to happen after the chicken wing incident | |
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| welcome to writin' for losers 101
Posted: 8/16/2008 9:53:04 AM | what a tropical day
an hour of straight down rain
it's still thundering
pleasantly
I recall driving up past Oshkosh
(for you nudists, that's in wisconsin)
and the sky simply opened up
the local radio described it as falling in buckets
seventy seven cadi just hugging to the road
windshield wipers clearing nothing as fast as they could go
that's the kind of rain that's been coming down today
and the thunder somehow brought back that memory | |
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| welcome to writin' for losers 101
Posted: 8/16/2008 12:29:10 PM | well, I've got a case of beer or so
and this doobie is almost rolled
it's early saturday afternoon
I was thinkin about going over to brizo's thread and just taking her
once again, I digress..
I guess that I'd better not do that
edit: ***************
she'd no doubt give me a heart attack
I'd better write for the Indian Princess
she won't break me in half
uphill or down hill you still have to pick up your feet
it doesn't matter which way that you're going
otherwise, you end up tripping
ever tried barefoot waterskiing?
I have
the boat has to be going really fast
I reckon that things that people have done
are only admired by historians
I'm more interested in tomorrow
I know what I'm doing write now
but, that's not important
I'll sleep that off | |
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| welcome to writin' for losers 101
Posted: 8/17/2008 8:20:56 AM |
I was thinkin about going over to brizo's thread and just taking her
once again, I digress..
I guess that I'd better not do that
edit: ***************
she'd no doubt give me a heart attack
I'd better write for the Indian Princess
she won't break me in half
Somehow I give off this weird vibe of toughness....I'm pretty much a pansy. My dad had to come over yesterday and help me drill because the landscape timbers were thick . I was afraid I'd break my daughter's drill and I'm afraid of her wrath....she's little, 5'2", but she cusses viciously....sort of like those tasmanian devils....
besides, I'd just distract your attention from your doobie ...
learning planet
the roles we play on the stage of creation
run counter to the equation
our burgeoning populatation
requiring more than our ration
in the world of creatures
we're over reachers
greedy bliss beseechers
when we were meant
and cosmic sent
to be each other's teachers
LS 8/02/08
Abstract Rhythms | |
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| welcome to writin' for losers 101
Posted: 8/19/2008 8:35:12 AM | does everybody think brizo is really cute? or is it just me?
gotta be everybody. 
I had one of those really wierd mornings
woke up at 4am and was going to do some writing
I had a dream that I was the airbrush artist for penthouse
yanno, the one who paints all of those girls strings out
plopped down to my keyboard and tried to sign in
and my 'b's typed as 'k's and backspace was just dead
couldn't write a dam.n thing
ghosts in my keyboard again
totally fvcked up my wet dream
I wanted to write about string airbrushing
I've got to put things down while they're still fresh
and that write was still dripping wet
I don't even remember this keyboard
I've got a bunch of 'em in the drawer
seems to be working so far
'cept for this carpal tunnel and all
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